by Gary Beck
Kiesha asked with a smile, "Isn’t that an ethnic slur?"
"Not if I use it."
Miss Lily was as happy as the rest of them, but she reminded them, "We did good, but we ain’t outta the woods yet. We still gotta deal with the hotel, then get our lives back together so we can live like human beins’."
"You’re right. But we’re still entitled to feel good for a few minutes," Beth said cheerfully.
"That’s true, chile. I’m feelin’ pretty good myself."
They walked down 3rd Avenue, passing restaurant after restaurant, until it almost seemed that no other business went on besides the consumption of food. They couldn’t figure out why so many of the same kind of restaurants were so close to each other. From 31st Street to 28th Street there were five Italian restaurants, four Chinese, three Japanese and three pizza joints. They wondered how a restaurant could attract enough business when it was so close to the same kind of place, but they couldn’t come up with an answer that made sense. They went into the thrift shop on 29th Street, a musty store without any appeal to offset the mildewed air. Kiesha and Miss Lily selected pots, pans, plates, bowls, glasses and silverware that they needed. Hector found a hot plate and waved it triumphantly. Beth looked for clothes for her children, since they were still wearing what they had on the night of the fire. She also selected some things for herself and Peter. She gave the cashier a ten dollar deposit and he agreed to hold everything for a few days. Miss Lily paid for the kitchenware and Hector promised to contribute money as soon as he got a job.
People stared at them on their way back to the hotel as if they were a band of bedraggled refugees. Beth was still having trouble getting used to the intense scrutiny from strangers, but when they passed a reflective glass storefront and she saw their shabby appearance, she began to accept the distasteful reality. They did look like hard luck cases. The early lunch hour crowd streamed out of the nearby office buildings, intent on upscale restaurants, shopping, or socializing at the local Starbucks. They were a sharp contrast to the shabby vagabonds who looked curiously out of place in a neighborhood on the economic upswing. The self-conscious parents brought the children a little closer and withdrew into themselves, the way outsiders do when they feel unwelcome. By the time the reached the hotel, much of the elation at having bested the system had vanished. They had sandwiches for lunch, then took the children to the park, a bit subdued after the harsh reminder of their circumstances. The children were blissfully unaware of their social undesirability and played contentedly until it was time to return to the hotel to meet the school bus.
The proud parents waited expectantly for the return of their children from the first day of school. Kiesha, the youngest parent, reminisced about her first day in school, but the others admitted that they couldn’t remember their first day. The younger children were getting cold, so Miss Lily took them upstairs and promised to tell them a story. The other adults walked up and down to keep warm. By 3:45, when the bus hadn’t arrived, the parents began to fret. Some other women were nervously waiting, but Beth kept looking at her watch, getting more nervous as the minutes ticked away without sight of the bus. At 4:00 p.m., Beth announced that she was going to phone the school. She rushed to the pay phone on the corner and dialed the district number. A recorded message informed her that the school’s office hours were 9 to 3, and to leave a message at the tone. She went back to her friends really feeling worried. Kiesha and Hector were equally upset, and Hector said he was going to the school to see what happened.
Hector was halfway down the block when the school bus turned the corner. Kiesha called him and he dashed back. The delinquent bus stopped in front of the hotel and the children got out.
Beth hugged Jennifer as if she hadn’t seen her for a month, then asked the driver, who looked like an Appalachia reject, "Why are our kids so late?"
He sneered contemptuously, "Hotel kids get delivered last."
She ignored the slur, "We were told our kids would be here between 3:15 and 3:30. It’s after 4:00."
"You don’t like it, lady, pick em up yourself."
Kiesha tugged her away from the open door before she could say anything nasty, then asked, ‘What time do you pick up the kids in the morning?"
He didn’t even turn his head. "I’ll be here at 7:25. If the kids aren’t outside and ready, I’m outta here."
"Don’t worry. The kids will be waiting."
"I’m not worried. Like I said. If they’re not here, I’m gone."
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The parents managed to ignore the insulting attitude of the bus driver and took the children upstairs to their rooms, eager to hear about the first day of school. Jennifer told Beth that their teacher made her, and Latoya sit in the back of the room and called them hotel kids.
"The other kids teased us, Mommy, and when we went to the lunchroom, some of the girls wouldn’t let us sit at their table."
Beth felt a flare of anger, but forced herself to stay calm, "Did anything happen after lunch?"
"No. It was all right, but one of the girls kept sticking her tongue out at Jamal and Latoya kicked her in the shin."
Beth couldn’t completely repress a smile, "I don’t think it’s a good idea to kick anyone."
"But that girl was mean to Jamal for no reason. If I was closer, I would have kicked her."
"Once the children in your class get to know you, I’m sure they’ll be much nicer."
"I don’t think so, Mommy. They’re mean."
"Just give them a chance. Watch your brother for a few minutes. I’m going to talk to Kiesha."
"Can I play with Latoya?"
"In a few minutes."
Beth knocked on Kiesha’s door and found her fuming. "Did Jennifer tell you that the teacher called them hotel kids?" Kiesha asked.
"That’s bogus. We’ve got to go there in the morning and complain."
"I feel the same way," Beth replied, "but I think we should wait a few days and see if things settle down."
"Our kids have been through enough. They shouldn’t have to take that shit."
"I agree, but I don’t want to make it worse for the kids by interfering. If things don’t change by Thursday, we’ll go to school and kick some ass."
Kiesha laughed, "You’re becoming one tough bitch, missy."
"I’ve got to be tough to get through this stuff. Let’s see how things went for the other kids. Latoya and James can play in my room, while we talk to Hector and Miss Lily." They found out that Pablo and Raheen also were given seats in the back of the room, but at least the teacher didn’t call them hotel kids. Miss Lily agreed with Beth that they should wait a few days before confronting anybody at the school.
"Maybe things’ll work out by themselves, chile."
The children sorted themselves into the usual separate boy girl groups and the adults were starting to discuss the school situation, when Peter came out of the elevator.
Peter was really agitated, and Beth rushed to him, "What’s wrong, hon?"
"Do you remember that man in the lobby who told us where the McDonalds was."
"Yes. He was very nice."
"Well he was there when I came in and we started talking. His name is Ephraim and he’s been living here for more than six months. I mentioned that we’ve been hearing loud rap music late at night and I complained to Mister Singh. He led me away from the desk and told me about what goes on here. According to him there are two gangs that use the 10th and 11th floors. A black gang runs gambling and prostitution on the 10th floor and a Hispanic gang deals drugs on the 11th floor. He said that the gangs pay off the managers, so if I keep complaining to the Singhs they might tell the gangs."
Beth was alarmed; "You already complained. Do you think he told the gang?"
"No. Ephraim said the first time didn’t mean anything, because we just moved in, but if we keep complaining it will lead to trouble."
The other adults had been listening attentively and Kiesha grabbed Hector by the arm, "See. W
e’re lucky you didn’t go upstairs. They might have hurt you."
Hector was uncomfortable at being fussed over in front of the others. "Ah. I can take care of myself, but I don’t want to start anything that will cause us problems. So what do we do?"
"Ephraim told me that as soon as the weather gets warmer most of the action takes place outside," Peter said. "It’s too cold for the gangs to hang out on the street now, so they’re carrying on indoors because they don’t have anyplace else to go. I suggest we live with the noise as best we can, until we at least find out more about what goes on here in the hotel."
Kiesha quickly supported him, "I agree with Peter. We’ve only been here a few days. Let’s give the place a chance. Maybe these gangs will get tired and go to bed. We can live with the noise for a week or two."
Beth and Miss Lily nodded approval and Hector also agreed. Miss Lily asked the girls to help her make macaroni and cheese for dinner, using their new utensils. Kiesha and Hector kept an eye on the boys. Beth and Peter went to their room to talk privately.
Peter brought her up to date on their personal situation. "I went to the apartment first, but I couldn’t get in because it was still sealed by the fire department. I called the fire marshal and they told me we couldn’t get into the apartment until after an official hearing, because the fire is of suspicious origin. To make matters worse, the landlord claims that we must have caused the fire by carelessness."
"Yeah, right. I bet he did it to get rid of us. When’s the hearing?"
"Next Wednesday, at 10:00 a.m."
"Good. It’ll give us a chance to tell them how he tried to drive us out of the apartment…. I guess we’ll have to get used to being here for a while."
"It looks that way."
"What else did you do?"
"I went to work. They were very understanding and let me know that I could take off as much time as I needed, until this is settled."
"That’s great, honey. As long as you have your job we can at least make a plan to get out of here."
"There’s just one complication."
"What?"
"They won’t pay me for the time I miss."
"Well there’s always the pleasures of hotel life."
Peter had stopped at a wireless phone store on the way back from work and he brought several brochures describing different systems. They knew that they urgently needed a cell phone in case of emergency, since they were isolated on the 7th floor. They selected a plan that offered multiple phones that allowed free calls when you called each other. On this plan, they could start with three phones; one for Peter, one for Beth and one for Miss Lily, who was designated the official babysitter of the group. When they got a little more money, they could get phones for Kiesha and Hector, but at least they would be able to keep in touch and call 911 if necessary. After dinner, they gathered in the hall and discussed the phone plan. Everyone agreed that it was a good idea and Peter told them that he would give Beth the money to get the phones in the morning.
Hector had been shifting uncomfortably during the discussion and suddenly blurted, "I can’t keep taking things from you."
Before it could grow into anything serious, Miss Lily said, "Chile. We agreed to share. That’s what we’re doing. Now let’s not hear another word about it."
There was a long silence as Miss Lily’s declaration sunk in. Then Kiesha told them that once the children went to school in the morning, she was going to the welfare office to reapply for benefits. She insisted that Hector come with her and apply before he went job hunting, and after some initial resistance he gave in. Miss Lily brought out a list of household things that she thought they needed. It included folding chairs, TV trays, food storage containers, more hot plates and various other kitchen items. She suggested that each family have breakfast in their room, whoever was there at lunch time would eat together, and dinner would be a group activity. She reminded them that as soon as the weather got warmer, they would need to refrigerate milk, butter, eggs and other perishables. The others hadn’t even known that she was using the window ledge for cold food storage. They all made up lists of what they thought they needed, then set priorities. The children went to bed without fuss, then the adults chatted a while. Just before they said goodnight, Peter realized that they didn’t have an alarm clock to wake them in the morning to get the children ready for school. Miss Lily said that she was an early riser and would wake everyone. Alarm clocks jumped to the top of the priority list.
Peter fell asleep early and he was so tired that the rap concert didn’t wake him when it detonated around 11:00 p.m. Beth lay there musing about how strange her life had become in such a short time. Less than two weeks ago she had been sheltered by the belief that life was becoming reasonably stable and comfortable. That illusion was abruptly shattered when the fire forced them into homelessness, followed by the shock of the shelter system. It was now painfully clear how thin and fragile the safety net of security was, not only for herself, but for so many others who were one disaster away from dependence on the welfare state. She had some bitter revelations about the indifference of the system when she taught at an inner-city school in Detroit. It was an entirely different experience being dictated to by callous municipal employees who couldn’t care less about her sensibilities. She better understood the apathy and despair of the clients at the E.A.U. after she slept on the floor for a week.
Beth shook off the tendrils of depression and reproached herself for the indulgence in self-pity. She was accustomed to solving problems and dealing with difficult situations. She had been doing it all her life. And, all things considered, she had done pretty well since the fire. She had formed the group that now looked out for each other and engineered their move to the hotel. More important, she had sustained Peter when he wasn’t able to function and now, he was almost back to his old self. If they were lucky, the hearing next week would confirm their right to get back into their apartment. She didn’t think it would take long to renovate the apartment, so they might be safe at home in a few weeks. She could live in the hotel for that long. With the right attitude it could be tolerable. The delights of midtown Manhattan were just a few blocks away. It would be fun to explore the fabled city and she even had a friend to do it with.
Beth’s optimistic nature reasserted itself and she felt much better about her circumstances. A renewed determination to preserve her family swept through her, followed by a surge of confidence that she could cope with whatever occurred. Peter’s raspy breathing reminded her that the room wasn’t well ventilated. The only way to get any New York City standard issue polluted air was to open a window, then the cold would overwhelm the inadequate, cranky heating unit. She looked fondly at Peter, remembering his consistent kindness and gentleness, and comfortingly slipped her arms around him. He stirred restlessly but didn’t awaken. The children slept the repose of the innocent, temporarily spared the threats of man, beast and fate. A fierce pang of maternal protectiveness shot through her and she reached over and lovingly adjusted the blankets that covered her children. The room was so small that she didn’t even have to get off the bed. Her gaze wandered around the room and she started thinking about what she could do to make the place more livable. She was considering bright, yellow curtains when she sank into a weary sleep.
A piercing scream yanked them awake at about 3:00 AM. Peter was groggy and mumbled, "Huh? What’s that? Who’s screaming?"
Beth didn’t want him going upstairs and possibly getting hurt, so she answered, "It’s probably one of those gang people upstairs. Stay in bed. I’ll just peek out and be sure our friends are all right." She went to the door, cracked it open, listened for a moment, then poked her head out. Her friends’ doors were closed, and nothing seemed threatening on her floor, so she closed the door and locked it. The yelling upstairs changed to thumping and banging, as if a group of bodies were bouncing off the walls and floor. It was so loud that it even drowned out the rap music for a while. Gradually the sounds of non firearm combat died
down, and yells and rap competed for recruits to join the ranks of the deaf.
Beth and Peter were unable to fall asleep right away, so they talked in soft whispers. Peter was wide awake, and he mentioned several ideas he thought of after hearing the scream. The most important one was that they set up a code with their friends, in case any of them were in trouble. He suggested that they could knock on the wall of the room next to them and alert them that there was a problem. Three or more knocks would mean call the police. This meant that they would need phones and Beth said she would buy them in the morning. Another idea he had was to buy a clock radio. This would give them an alarm and they could put on classical music when the nightly rap concert began. Beth wasn’t sure that music to fight music made sense, but she was too tired for a discussion and promised to scour the thrift shop. Beth mentioned a few other items that she wanted to get. When she told Peter about the yellow curtains, he suggested that she get some inexpensive fine art prints, if she could find any at the thrift shop.
Without conscious awareness of doing so, Beth started telling him about her earlier realization of how tenuous existence was. He listened attentively as she revealed her deepest feelings of concern for her children. He quietly stroked her hair and she moved close to him, finding comfort in the loving warmth of his body. She made him promise that if they ever got their normal life back, they would open a savings account and keep enough money for emergencies. Other ideas came to her and she mentioned them without first filtering them through a process of review. Some of them were serious and some were silly, but Peter considered them intently and encouraged her to continue. When she finished, they were both calm and tranquil. He apologized for becoming dysfunctional after the fire and she reassured him that she still respected him. Dawn lased through the venetian blind and she tenderly kissed him good night.