The idea of starting a new life in the mountains didn’t sound all that horrible, but there was no way she was living in Boomer’s filth. As a last ditch effort, Emmy plugged the phone into the charger and hoped for the best. For the time being, she would clear out the clutter and scrub the grime away.
Twenty minutes later, Emmy heard the rumble of Boomer’s truck as she set the bag of recyclable cans on the enclosed porch. The truck was edged with rust, offset by the green and yellow stripes that raced along the side. It had to be about as old as her, given the design and the sound of it. She was surprised it could even climb the side of the mountain.
Boomer’s hair had come undone since he’d left. His dark curls tumbled past his shoulders and down his spine. His flannel shirt was open, hanging loose around his broad chest. Emmy watched him, her hunger now focused on Boomer.
***
He didn’t know how to tell her that he hadn’t gone back to work. The bear hadn’t allowed it. Instead, he’d driven up the hill a bit and parked before shifting. Something about the way he’d found her had set off the beast inside him. It refused to leave Emmy alone for more than a few moments, as if it were convinced that someone was going to come along and finish her off.
The very idea set Boomer ablaze. His mind went wild, his fists tightening until his nails bit into his palms. He flexed his hands and shook them out on his way to the door. Emmy was already waiting for him on the porch. He bit back the urge to swing her in his arms, just nodding at her instead.
“How was work?” Her voice was careful, soft and hesitant. He caught her stepping back and ducking her head.
The beast growled in his ears. It made Boomer want to tear apart whoever taught her to act like that. The open smile that greeted him was gone, replaced with fear. Boomer had to temper himself and rein in his anger or else he would become another thing for her to fear. He didn’t want that.
Breathing was difficult, but he managed to steady it and pull back the beast inside him so that when he looked back at her, he could flash a smile. Emmy returned the gesture with a small smile of her own, tucking her hair behind her ear and ducking inside. Nonetheless, she still kept to the edges of the room.
He stepped carefully, giving her the room she needed to feel comfortable around him. The bear still roared like an inconsolable child with knives for hands, but Boomer was able to keep it under wraps. Food would help. It would help both of them, he realized when her stomach growled loudly.
“How about burgers for dinner? I could fire up the grill out back.”
“Outside?” Emmy squeaked. It was cute, but the fear laced through it made him turn. “Where the bears can smell it? I don’t think that’s a good idea. There was a bear in your backyard earlier.”
“Was there?” Boomer turned to hide his smile. He couldn’t exactly tell her that bear had been him, unable to leave her unguarded. “I don’t think you have to worry about him.”
“What? We don’t have to worry about a bear? It was a grizzly!”
“I, ah, have a rapport with that bear. We’re friends.”
She didn’t believe him. That much was clear from the look on her face.
He yanked a package of ground beef and the bottle of Worcestershire sauce from the fridge. “Trust me. Okay? That bear isn’t going to bother you.”
“Are you sure? I mean…he did seem okay. It wasn’t like he tried to come inside. He didn’t even try to bother me.”
“See? He’s a cool bear. Maybe I’ll introduce you someday.” He was already talking like Emmy was going to stay forever. She wasn’t. This woman had a life of her own to go back to, a life that didn’t include Boomer. He needed to remember himself around her. No matter what his beast thought of the frail woman, it couldn’t mate her.
Boomer busied himself mixing the sauce and beef before turning the mixture into patties. The motions, with his back to Emmy, helped him lock away the beast and its desire for a mate. After he dropped Emmy off in town tomorrow, he might have to make a trip out of state to find himself a nice bear girl to tumble with for a few days.
Emmy would become a nice memory, not a stain on his past when he ruined her. Human girls didn’t do well with bears. The shifters were too rough with them. Humans weren’t built to withstand the needs of a bear, let alone the life of a bear. Emmy was already skittish. She would only suffer surrounded by him and the other bears.
She followed him outside, sitting primly in an Adirondack chair, hands on her lap as she searched for the bear she claimed to have seen earlier. He laughed to himself because she was already in his company.
“That’s not a grill.” She stopped in front of the fire pit with her hands on her hips.
He regarded his handmade pit, made with his own hands. The brick wall rose in a narrow U shape and cradled a small grate that he used as a grill. It was rough, but in no way shoddy. He’d made sure of that.
“What do you know? You have amnesia.” Boomer winked at her and she stuck her tongue out at him.
“Yeah, well, I know a grill when I see one. That’s just… a pit.”
“Okay. It may be just a pit, but this pit makes the best damn burgers you’ll ever have in your life. Just you wait and see.” Lighting the fire only took a moment, the logs he’d chopped himself igniting in a blink. “I have some Vermont sharp cheddar and Thousand Island dressing inside. Best. Burger. Ever. I promise.”
Emmy’s expression told him she clearly didn’t believe him. “No one likes Thousand Island dressing.”
“That’s a lie. What do you think they serve on those fast food burgers everywhere? I’ll give you a hint: the sauce isn’t that much of a secret.”
The silence that filled the air between them wasn’t uncomfortable. If anything, he enjoyed her presence. Every now and then, he glanced back to find her in a new position. First, she’d tucked herself into the deep-seated chair with her knees clutched to her chest. Then he found her with one leg thrown over the arm of the chair. Finally, she rested with both feet perched on the chair that would have been his. He gladly sacrificed it to her.
“Have you tried to reach out to anyone who might be waiting for you?” She couldn’t stay. Boomer couldn’t protect her forever. Eventually, a fight would break out and she would get hurt. What would he do then? Lose his damn mind, that was what.
He wasn’t about to change her. She had a life of her own, possibly even a husband. The thought brought a vicious growl from his caged beast. If her husband was the one that taught her to fear other men, then Boomer might have a conversation with the man. By conversation, he meant fist to face.
“I didn’t even think about it, honestly. The situation with the bear in the backyard kind of took all of my mental energy today.”
“No worries,” Boomer said as he flipped a burger. The flames hissed, devouring the grease drippings. “I’m sure your head will be clearer once you’ve had something to eat. You cleaned half my damn house while I was gone and didn’t bother to feed yourself.”
“In my defense, I was trying to find something to eat when you arrived. I couldn’t make anything around the mess you left behind.”
“Maybe I liked my mess. That’s the way I live. It’s my den.”
“Den? I know we’ve been talking about bears, but you aren’t a bear.”
Boomer silently cursed himself. How many times had he slipped up in front of her? He would have to separate himself from her for the rest of the night. It was the only fool proof way to keep his damned mouth shut around her.
If he wasn’t careful, he’d spill everything about what he and the others were. Then there would be no going back for her. Emmy would be trapped with them, or worse. He warned the beast what would happen to an un-mated human in their world. Someone would come for her. Their secrets needed to be kept. She would be forced to choose, live as a bear-wife or death, and he couldn’t ask that of her.
They ate their burgers in near silence. The only sounds that broke it were Emmy’s groans of satisfaction. They m
ade Boomer’s chest tight and filled his mind with images of the impossible. He should never have shifted back. He should have stayed in his bear form and slept on the lawn all damn night. It would have saved him so much trouble.
A small bit of sauce dribbled down the side of her chin. It made her look delicate and impish. Boomer couldn’t stop himself when he reached out to swipe it away with his thumb. He didn’t expect her to snatch his wrist. She quickly licked his thumb before letting go. For a brief moment, her eyes lit with mischief, then it was gone, and she turned sheepish again. In the low light of the fire pit, he watched her cheeks darken.
Meanwhile, Boomer’s cock rose with thunderous applause at her impulsive action. He was in deep trouble with her.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” Carefully, she tended to the corners of her mouth to catch anything else he might have missed, not meeting his eyes.
“I told you this would be the best burger you ever had.”
She turned away from him, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. This tiny human woman had wrung him inside out. The bear crept close to the surface, eager to scent her, eager to mark her. Boomer fought with the creature and forced it back for the time. He didn’t know when it would overcome him and take what it wanted.
Emmy would be in trouble when it did.
***
Emmy’s face burned, and not from the nearby fire. She couldn’t believe herself. How could she have been so forward? How could she have been so stupid? It was just a bit of sauce, yet when Boomer’s rough thumb touched her face she came alive. Her body had moved without hesitation, claiming his hand so she could lick the sauce from the coarse pad of his thumb.
When it was done, she couldn’t look at him. Her body coursed with a heat that wasn’t just the nearby fire pit. It pulsed and throbbed in her core. The sensation was so strong, she couldn’t help but wonder if they had some kind of relationship before she’d lost her memories. The idea helped her make sense of his familiarity, of why he was taking care of her the way he was.
People didn’t help strangers. People shouldn’t trust strangers, either. Emmy knew what she was doing was a bad idea. The thought was instinctual, a programmed fight or flight response, but it was faint. Boomer’s very presence defused the alarm. Perhaps it happened when he told her his real name, handing her a secret not even the other men knew.
“Are there many bears around here?” She needed to change the subject, but Boomer’s response piqued her curiosity. At the mention of bears, he shot up straight and gave her a strange look. His brows arched, and his eyes narrowed, only for a second, though. Then, the expression faded and he was easygoing Boomer again.
It seemed as though bears was a codeword for something. She’d triggered a knee-jerk response and Boomer offered no explanation, frustrating her.
“Ah, there are a few in the area. Some of them are raging assholes and some are pretty chill.”
He spoke about them as though he was describing people, friends, even. She tried to imagine this massive man standing on his back porch, beer in hand, as he spoke to the bears wandering through his yard. It was oddly easy to envision. Boomer wasn’t a small man, by any means. The way his curls wound around themselves, the way his skin glistened with old scars, made him look like a wild man. She wouldn’t be surprised if he told her the mountain itself raised him.
“You have a lot of hiking and climbing gear inside. You aren’t afraid of running into the wild bears while you’re out?”
His smile was secretive, and she hungered to know it. She wanted to part his lips and dive past them to uncover everything he kept from her. With the murky wall between her and her memories, Emmy should have been more concerned about herself. Instead, she found herself intrigued by this wild man and the stories hidden behind his eyes.
“The bears don’t bother people too much. They keep to themselves for the most part.”
“Like you,” Emmy added.
The gleam in his eyes died, his shoulders tightened, and he looked away. Emmy kicked herself for what she’d done. His familiar demeanor had died, and a wall slammed down between them. It made her realize he was a part of a world she didn’t belong to. Her soap opera inspired theories about her history were smashed, leaving her feeling alone in the world.
Unable to cross the divide between them after Boomer cut the bridge, she stood. She gathered their plates and the dirty grilling utensils and retreated into the cabin. Inside, in the silence, she lost herself in cleaning once more. If she kept moving, if she held onto the small goals, then she didn’t have to think about who she was or why she was here.
Boomer still sat outside. He leaned over the fire pit, elbows on his knees as he stared into the flame. His shoulders rose and fell with each deep breath. She watched the muscles in his back flex and move, caught in wonder and awe.
If she didn’t know him, then why was she so entranced by him? Boomer was a rough-edged man, a stranger that happened to pick her up after a fall. He was a good Samaritan and a good grill chef. That was all she knew about him. There was no reason for her attachment.
She sucked in a sharp breath when an epiphany hit her.
Emmy had attached herself to him because he was the first face she’d seen after waking. With her mind a blank slate, Boomer had filled it and become the only thing she knew. Little by little, she told herself, her memories would return.
And if they didn’t?
Would she stay in Boomer’s cabin forever? Tending to his messy habits, talking to bears, and eating burgers in the backyard? Without anything to compare it to, the thought wasn’t so bad. There had to be something waiting for her outside this, though. She couldn’t be alone in the world.
“You’re not a maid, you know.” Boomer leaned in the hallway, arms crossed over his chest. He kept his distance, the entire living room between them.
Emmy’s stomach clenched as the urge to cross it overcame her. She gripped the counter and held her place. “It’s okay.”
His lips twisted to the side, concern flashing across his face. He looked away, glancing out the nearby window. Emmy wished she could read his mind and understand the things he wasn’t saying. She felt like she was missing something. Maybe it was dead bodies in the basement, if this place even had a basement.
She had the distinct feeling it wasn’t that. Boomer did seem…strong, though. When he pushed away from the wall, she could see the potential for danger in his lithe movements. He was a man who could fell trees with his hands. She shouldn’t have been surprised.
Emmy should have been scared, but she wasn’t. Perhaps she had hit her head harder than she’d previously thought. The rock had taken all sense from her. She was staying with a complete stranger, a man who could break her in half with a look. Her face heated when she remembered licking the burger sauce from his thumb.
She wanted to sink behind the counter and hide her face. Somehow, she managed to stay standing while Boomer approached her.
“I want to pay you back,” he said, glancing out the window again. She noticed the way his hands fisted in his pockets. They seemed tight, the muscles of his forearms bunching as he fought against something. Emmy wanted to touch his arms and ease the tension away, a silly impulse.
“You made me dinner,” she offered. “You’re giving me a roof over my head for a night. Oh, and don’t forget that you carried me up that hill after I threw myself down it.”
Boomer’s gaze snapped to her. They burned gold and tightened her stomach. “What did you say?”
Her breath caught in her throat, her own words replaying in her mind. She slapped a hand over her mouth. Fear washed over her, cold enough to make her tremble. Boomer rounded the counter, standing before her in the blink of an eye. His hands were on her, warm and comforting as he fought to get her to look him in the eye.
She couldn’t. She couldn’t do anything other than relive that moment. Dread weighed her feet. Fear pulsed in her veins. She could feel it all over again as if sh
e were standing on the edge of that steep hill. She couldn’t tell what it was that she feared. The memory was still locked behind a wall.
“Emmy,” he whispered. It wasn’t the voice she expected. It wasn’t the voice she feared. When she looked up and found molten gold eyes watching her with worry, the breath in her throat escaped. She collapsed into Boomer’s arms. “Did you mean what you said?”
“I don’t…” She’d been about to say she didn’t know. That wasn’t the truth. She knew. It was just hard to say.
“As I was saying,” Boomer whispered into her hair as he held her. “I want to repay you for cleaning my house. I’m going to take tomorrow off and we’re going to explore the mountain. I’m going to show you all the things you missed when you came out here. I want to show you everything beautiful in this world.”
Her smile was weak, but true. She gripped his shirt, pulling back to see the tear stains she’d left on his chest. Nervously, she wiped at them to no avail.
Chapter Three
He wanted to give her a reason to live. Her admission had hit him in the heart. It’d left him unable to breathe.
Emmy had thrown herself down that hill. She hadn’t tripped. Each time he remembered what she’d said, his heart stopped, and his eyes filled with tears. Boomer wasn’t a crying type of man. He liked to laugh. Life was easy when he laughed. When Reid and Dominic fought, he broke it up with his laughter.
Now, life had dropped this woman into his lap, and Boomer was struggling to find the laughter he’d always relied on. In its place was a rampaging beast. His bear roared for her. It threated to destroy everything that brought her to that hill.
All Boomer could do was say a prayer of thanks that it’d been a hill and not one of the sheer cliffs. The princess disguised as a maid could see another sunrise.
To Love a Bear Page 3