Finally, he let out the breath he held in a long, low whistle. He adjusted his hands, loosening his grip on her as if he expected her to run away. Her heart clenched, waiting for whatever was to come. She almost wanted to put her hands over her ears and pretend she heard nothing. That wasn’t how this worked. She needed to know the truth.
Earlier, when the whole party had quieted, she’d felt alone. There was something among them that bound them together. It was more than a job, something deeper. Emmy found herself aching to be a part of it. She liked Boomer. She wanted to be a part of his life, but he kept this part wrapped up tight.
All it managed to do was make her feel useless. There was no one waiting for her in the life she’d led before. Her ex-husband waited, but she’d come here to escape him. She’d quit her job when they refused to stop him from entering. She’d taken whatever money she had and run. It brought her here, and she had to believe there was a reason for that.
Every step she’d taken since her divorce had brought her to this mountain, to Boomer’s side. She wanted to snuggle into his arms and feel them wrap around her. She wouldn’t even mind another bite to go with the first. When she realized what it meant, why Boomer had done it, there had been a surge of happiness that fluttered through her. She felt wanted for a brief moment in time.
“If I tell you, a thousand different things could happen. You could run away screaming. You could hate me for the rest of your life…” He hesitated, his hands flexing by his sides.
Emmy wanted to promise him that she would understand, but fear of the unknown kept her lips pressed shut. The cabin didn’t have a basement, but he could still be a murderer. Her heart told her that was silly. She was blowing things out of proportion. The worst he would tell her was that he was married.
The thought crushed her heart, but she would find a way to work around it. She hoped.
Boomer sat up. He hunched his shoulders, glancing back at where she lay. Sorrow filled his eyes, drawing her closer. She touched his back, as if it could ease the strain of the secret he carried.
He let out a breath. “I’m a shape shifter. A bear shifter. You know that bear you saw in the backyard your first day in the cabin? Well, that was me.”
She laughed. It was the only response she could muster. Boomer cringed. He shrugged away from her touch and pushed to his feet. He couldn’t be serious. He was screwing with her. This was the kind of behavior she’d come to expect from Orion. Not Boomer. He was fill of life and humor, but he wouldn’t screw with her like that.
Would he?
“Theodore,” she began. What could she say? What could she do?
“You don’t believe me. Do you?” His voice was pained.
She felt like she’d betrayed him, when it was Boomer that was betraying her. “Stop screwing with me and tell me the truth. This isn’t funny.”
He groaned. “I am telling you the truth. All of us are shifters. A group of bears isn’t the most stable, but you seem to bring out the best in us.” He pleaded with her through the darkness. “My nose. Remember how Orion broke it? It’s healed already. How else do you explain that?”
She shook her head. “You just think it’s finished healing because the bone is setting. Boomer…none of this…it doesn’t exist. Are you lying to yourself? Do you really believe this?”
She took a step back. She couldn’t stay here. She couldn’t stay with him. There was no rhyme or reason to the universe. It hadn’t brought her to Boomer for any reason. She’d only stumbled into his arms, from one dangerous man to the next. This was her curse, she realized. It made her want to knock her head and forget everything again. She couldn’t live like this, not knowing that every man she would bare her heart to would hurt her.
She spun away from Boomer and left him on the cliff. He could find his own way back to the cabin. She was going to get her phone and find a signal. Once she had it, she would call someone to come get her. Even if she had to call her ex-husband. The thought twisted her insides.
Everything about her life was a curse. No matter which way she went, she found pain and betrayal. At least, with her ex-husband, she knew what to expect. It was horrid to think, but it was true. As a nurse, she knew how to set her broken bones. She knew how to stitch her cuts and clean her scrapes. It was better than being with a man who truly thought he was a bear.
What kind of nonsense was that?
Her feet met the soft sand of the beach. Behind her, she heard groans. Her heart leapt into her throat. The urge to run hit her and flooded her body with adrenaline. Yet, her feet stuck in the sand. The instinct to live, to survive, was weak in her. Perhaps that was why she always got into these kinds of situations.
Illuminated by the dim light of the moon, a shape descended the hillside. It caught the side of the tarp Orion left behind and slipped. The shape came crashing down the hillside, not man shaped at all. If anything, it was a hulking ball as it hit the water below.
A frustrated growl lashed out into the air as it found its footing. The shape stomped out of the water and shook on the beach. The smell of wet fur touched her nose, laced with something more familiar. It smelled like Boomer, but stronger.
The shape stepped closer. Her foot inched back, but she didn’t run. Why didn’t she run, she asked herself? Well, she had nowhere to go. Even if she booked it, the beast would have caught her in moments. Another step brought it close enough to see clearly.
It was a bear. She wished the men hadn’t made weird jokes about the grizzlies in the mountains. She wished they’d been smarter about the creatures. Then, she realized Boomer had been atop the hill. Her first thought was for his safety. He’d lied and said strange things, but the thought of him in pain filled her with sharp-edged panic.
Had the bear knocked him out? Or, had it not seen him as he sulked up there?
Then, another thought crept into her mind. It made her look at the bear again. It watched her with sad, apprehensive eyes. The beast was easily the size of a small car, but Emmy realized she didn’t feel fear in its presence. Instead, it felt like the comforting presence of a familiar friend. Kind of like a dog.
No, that wasn’t right. Not like a dog. It felt like Boomer.
She clamped a hand over her mouth to smother her gasp. The bear raised a brow, the best a bear could, before cocking its head and shaking again. Water flew from the beast in a fine spray.
“This isn’t real,” she whispered, half afraid of drawing the beast’s attention even though it clearly knew she was there.
The bear didn’t rise onto its hind legs. Instead, it slowly waddled toward her and dropped into a sitting position.
“Oh, Teddy Bear.”
The bear grumbled and nudged her with its nose, as if to tell her to knock it off. Instinctually, she reached for it. Her hands roved over its furred head and scratched behind its ear. She was petting a bear. She truly hoped she was right about this because if she wasn’t, the creature would take off her hand in a moment.
Just as she finished the thought, the bear rose onto its hind legs. She let out a shriek, but her feet wouldn’t move. The beast wrapped its arms around her and placed its chin on her head. She laughed, a nervous croak. The bear was hugging her.
It hugged her.
“Well, this is the strangest cult I’ve ever seen. I guess my next question is how do I join?”
The bear huffed and dropped to its feet. As if in response to her question, it shook its head.
“What? I don’t get to join your cult? Is there not enough magic for me to do what you do?” The more she spoke, the sharper her panic became. She felt like she stood on the outside of something again. Before her was Boomer, the man she was steadily falling for. Behind her was a precipice that threatened to drop her out of existence.
Emmy struggled to belong anywhere. She struggled to find happiness. The past few days made her believe she could have it. There had never been a happier time in her life. Here, with the wilderness and Boomer, she had found the spark that could ig
nite a lifetime of happiness.
She knew what he was going to say. There was no room for her in this life. Not that she should even want it. Boomer was something other, not quite a monster, but magical and dangerous nonetheless. She only wanted to be like him so that she could stay.
Her knees trembled, shaking beneath her. She clutched his thick fur and pressed her face to his cheek. What had she stumbled into?
***
He’d done it.
Emmy knew the truth. He could see the understanding in her eyes, hear the way she whispered his name. Never before had he been so happy to hear his given name. He’d happily let her call him Teddy Bear for the rest of his life.
But, when she asked to become like him, he lost it. The bear eagerly pushed toward her, but Boomer wrestled the beast into reason. They would not hurt their mate like that. She was soft and gentle, not at all like a bear. He wouldn’t risk changing her. Not on his life.
When she saw the unspoken answer, tears gathered in her eyes. She gripped him tight and fell into him, as if she could barely stand under the weight of her disappointment. He didn’t have a way to tell her that didn’t mean he would leave her. If she wanted, he would stay beside her until the end of time. He would love her the way she was meant to be loved.
It would tire him, but he needed to speak to her, to reassure her. He pulled the beast back. It wanted to linger in her presence. It enjoyed her attention, and it fought against him when he tried to shift. His arms burned and his back ached.
Emmy stumbled back. Her eyes darted over his body, as if she were calculating the damage happening beneath his skin. Good, he thought. She needed to see what it meant to be like him. If the bear wanted to fight, she would see the worst of it as the two bodies struggled against one another.
His form shrank. Fur fell away until there was a man’s form kneeling on the ground, heaving and gasping for air. Immediately, Emmy crashed to her knees in front of him. She pushed his shoulders back, so she could get a good look at him. Her hands searched for wounds, but found none. His body had reset and all that was left was a thrumming ache.
“I never would have…I just don’t…why?” The word was filled with so much more than the single question. It wasn’t why could he change. It was why wouldn’t he change her? Why couldn’t she be a part of his world? Why didn’t he love her?
He knew that was what she felt. He could see it in her eyes as if the heartbreak was mirrored in her irises. Despite his tender skin, he drew her into his arms and held her close. There was nothing he could say that she would hear. Emmy clung to him, nails biting into his skin as she grieved for what she thought was lost.
He nuzzled her hair and breathed in her scent. “There’s still room in my life for you. You could stay here with me, move with us when we go to the next location. There isn’t a day in my life that I want to wake without you.”
Emmy was quiet. She pressed her face against his chest to avoid looking him in the eye. It left him wondering what was going through her mind. Would his decision make her walk away? Was his refusal to change her the thing that would destroy them? Boomer didn’t want to believe it. She was his mate, his forever. The bear decreed it, recognized her for the love that he would cling to for the rest of his life. This small difference couldn’t break them.
Could it?
Emmy sat in his lap for a long while, quiet. When she finally did speak, her words were metered, careful. “Are you sure I have a place with you? With the others? I’m assuming they’re like you. It would make sense.”
He let out a breath. “Yes. Forever and an extra day. You belong with me and I belong to you.”
Emmy looked up to him. Her eyes were dark, reflecting the stars above them. There was a goddess in his lap, her power over him endless and overwhelming. When she moved to straddle him, he didn’t dare breathe for fear of offending her. Instead, he stayed reverent.
She pulled her shirt over her head, baring her breasts to him. He froze, both turned on and terrified. Her hands glided over his shoulders and pulled a groan from his lips. She smiled at her own power over him and leaned forward. Lips touched his collarbone and he gasped.
When was the last time he’d been touched by someone? Perhaps it was the effects of two back-to-back changes, but her touch lit fires inside him. The soft press of her lips against his skin burned like the heat of the sun and raced down to his core. As her lips moved along his skin, up his neck to the small space behind his ear, something else rose.
His erection pressed against her buttocks and lower back. He thought she hadn’t noticed, that she was lost in her tender exploration, until she started to rock her hips. His naked cock rubbed against her soft skin until he melted beneath her.
How much more of this could he take? He would blow before she even had a chance to know pleasure. He caught Emmy by her arms and gently pushed her back. At first, hurt flashed across her face. It twisted her expression like it twisted his heart. Unable to let her believe that he was rejecting her, he leaned forward and caught her lips in a gentle kiss.
She melted, the fight going out of her arms as she leaned into him. She tasted like the night. Gone was any hint of beer or barbecue. Instead, she was sweet.
“This is very one sided right now,” Boomer reminded her. “As much as I appreciate it, I don’t want to come alone.”
She ducked her head, as if to hide a blush he couldn’t see in the darkness. He released her arms and let his hands graze over her shoulders, down her waist, and hook into the waistband of her shorts. Leaning close, he growled in her ear, demanding that she take them off. A shudder rippled through her.
Emmy carefully untangled herself from him and stood. In the moonlight, his stomach clenched while he watched her shimmy out of her little shorts. She stood before him in nothing more than a pair of thin underwear.
“Those, too.”
Emmy hid her smile behind her hair. She bent and kicked off her panties. Her scent blossomed through the air. It brought his beast roiling to the surface. The bear hungered for her. It was starving, and only Emmy could sate this endless starvation.
“Now. Come back. Sit.” All Boomer could do was bite out words. Sentences failed him, but Emmy obeyed.
She straddled him once more. This time, her warm core pressed against his cock, leaving behind the moist evidence of her own desire. He never thought anyone would want him this much. He hadn’t even touched her yet and she was dripping.
Boomer wasn’t sure if he deserved a woman like Emmy. He wasn’t the savior Reid was. He wasn’t even a smart man like Dominic. If anything, he was a mess. He barely knew how to feed himself most days. His house was a mess that he all too often chose to run away from. Nature never reminded him of his loneliness.
Now, he didn’t have to be lonely. He’d found a mate. He could feel the way she loved him in return, echoed in the way she touched him, in the way she rocked against his hard cock. He reached between them and slid himself between her folds. He let her slide over him, back and forth. Pleasure pooled inside him, but he didn’t dare enter her.
Instead, he cupped her ass and guided her faster and faster. The head of his cock rubbed against her most tender spot. He could feel her thighs clench around him. She was nearly there. He grasped her breast in one hand, rolling and pinching the hard nipple between his fingers.
Emmy cried out. The sound was soft, filling the night with the echo of lovers.
Chapter Ten
Emmy couldn’t believe herself. She knew she loved Boomer. That wasn’t in question, even if they’d only known each other for a few days. He made her feel alive in ways she’d never known before. His hands on her skin made her feel loved, precious, even.
What she couldn’t believe was her own brazenness. She’d stripped for him, happily. When she sat on his lap, she’d meant to let Boomer lead. She wasn’t the kind of woman to take charge, but she found herself unable to stop in his presence. First, it’d been the kissing. His skin had tasted like freshwater and smoke
.
Then, when she straddled him a second time, he slipped between her folds and she hadn’t been able to stop herself. She rode his cock, letting her head fall back as pleasure rocked through her. It crashed, from her core through her body and to her fingers, before rushing back. It made her shudder in his arms.
She was close. Then, he took her breast in one hand and pinched. The sensation amplified the pulse of pleasure. Each wave grew stronger and stronger until she could barely move. Boomer, greedy in his worship, took her other breast into his mouth. Her breasts were small enough that he could take nearly all of it.
His tongue flicked over her nipple. Once. Twice. The third, lazy swirl of his tongue, brought her to orgasm. She shouted it into the night. The rustling of birds in the trees echoed like the tsunami that hit her. She trembled, but Boomer held her close. He kept her grounded, each hand on her only magnifying the orgasm.
Her fingers curled as they tingled. Her head felt light and it made her grateful for Boomer’s grip on her.
This was what it felt like to be with someone? It was a sensation she’d never known. All her life, she’d thought her job was to take whatever was given to her. Emmy hadn’t known women could feel such things.
When she opened her eyes, gasping for the breath she’d forgotten to take, she looked to Boomer. There was no hiding the surprise that filled her.
Boomer collapsed beside her, his hands still holding her tight as if she might escape him like a fairy princess whisked away at midnight. She was neither magical nor a princess, just a woman in the hands of a man.
“What is it?” His voice was still husky from what they’d done, but she could hear the concern in it. His hands hesitated, his grip loosening. “If I was too forward…”
Emmy shook her head. She bit her lip, wondering how she should put it. “Well, I’ve never… apparently, I’d never had an orgasm before.”
Boomer’s eyes widened. They became moons above her. He hugged her close and tucked his face into her shoulder. When she felt his lips press against her shoulder, a shudder shot through her, mingling with the lingering orgasm that still pumped through her veins.
To Love a Bear Page 9