She jerked to a halt and remembered the knife in her grip. Twisting and throwing her strength into her arm, she jabbed at Hayden. Not a killing blow. She didn’t want his death on her hands. She wouldn’t allow him to take her life away, even in death. The blade pierced skin, but he moved so that it was only a glancing blow.
The missed thrust put her off balance. Hayden used that against her and tossed her to the ground. The knife skittered across the floor and out of reach. Emmy cursed and struggled to bring herself back to her feet. Behind her, Hayden grumbled about the blood she’d spilt.
Before she could make it to her hands and knees, he kicked her. His boot connected with her gut. Air left her, and she retched. Her mouth burned, and her eyes stung. This wouldn’t be the end. She wouldn’t allow it. She had too much to live for.
“Don’t get any ideas in your head.” The click of a gun sounded behind her and she froze.
No. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. She wouldn’t believe it.
Slowly, she turned to face him. He hadn’t pulled the trigger yet. Blood trickled down his side from the hit she’d managed to land. His hand was pressed over it and a grimace distorted his face. The gun wavered in front of her.
Was the wound deep enough that he was bleeding out? She prayed it was, that he would soon pass out and she would be saved. Yet, Hayden sucked in a deep breath and straightened himself, letting his hand fall away from the wound. It seemed he was not so concerned about it.
Failure hit her like a ton of bricks. As she stared down the gun, she didn’t see Hayden behind it. Instead, her thoughts filled with Boomer. Her Teddy Bear. There was a life they could have had, one that unfurled before her in these last moments. She wished they could have had more time, could have made more mistakes and made up for them. That was how life should have been.
Instead, the scene focused again, and Hayden’s grimace turned into a smile. “Good-bye, Emily.”
She pressed her eyes shut.
The gunfire never came. Instead, she heard a growl and a heavy thud. When she cracked her eyes open, a massive grizzly bear stood in the doorway. It cast a shadow over the room. Her eyes adjusted to find Hayden scurrying away from the beast. He looked up at the grizzly with his jaw agape. To him, it was just a bear.
Emmy knew it was Boomer. He’d come back for her. She grinned, but the feeling of euphoria didn’t last long. Hayden grabbed her by her collar and dragged her down the hall. Boomer’s massive frame didn’t fit through the door. As Hayden made away with her, Boomer growled and roared, caught in the frame.
Hayden kicked open the back door. He jerked her to force her to follow, but she dug in her heels. It wasn’t until he spun on her with the gun again that she gave in. She’d hoped he’d dropped it. Blood now ran down the side of Hayden’s face from where Boomer had hit him. His eyes were wide with fear and confusion.
“Outside. Now. When we reach the car, be quiet.” Hayden grumbled under his breath about bears, wondering why one would climb a porch just to smack him.
If Emmy had her own bear, she would have shifted and smacked him, too. Instead, she was left with only her human hands. They felt useless. Boomer could take a bullet to the stomach and live, but if Hayden shot her, she would die.
Quietly, she opened the door of the car while keeping the barrel of Hayden’s gun in her periphery. Soon, Boomer would catch their scent and know that they were right behind them. Unless his rage had blinded him. He’d gotten through the door, leaving a trail of wreckage behind him.
Turn around, Emmy prayed over and over.
But the door closed, and Boomer was still nowhere in sight. Hayden turned over the engine and tucked the gun into the storage space in the driver’s side door, out of her reach. She cursed softly and clicked her seatbelt into place.
Emmy flexed her hands, wishing for the strength of a bear so she could knock Hayden out with one hit. Or, kick open her door and roll away from the car unscathed. Now that the gun was out of view, her mind spun with escape options, but her body was caught in place, unmoving.
Hayden jerked the car into reverse just as Boomer appeared. Emmy immediately reached for the door, but the seatbelt held her in place. Fumbling with the mechanism, she lost time and the car jolted away from the cabin. A whimper died in her throat.
Emmy felt weak, losing the will to fight. She was nothing more than a punching bag. She could neither hit back nor fight to be free. This would be her fate for the rest of her life. However long that might be now that she was in Hayden’s hands.
He’d wanted to kill her. She wondered why he hadn’t finished the job yet. Though, it wouldn’t look good if he returned the rental car with her blood in it. He couldn’t drive it over a cliff, either. That would be a risk to his own life.
How would he do it? Would it hurt? She wasn’t worried about that. Images of Boomer, grinning like an idiot filled her mind. The images shifted to him, close to tears as the steering wheel nearly collapsed beneath his grip because he was frightened for her safety. She didn’t love him just because he was the first man to show her kindness. He’d found his way into her heart through his laughter and exploration, through his tenderness despite his size.
“You aren’t going to leave this mountain alive,” Emmy began. The worlds left her with a sense of confidence, with the idea that she would be the one to survive today. “These mountains are prowled by bears. Bears that are bigger, stronger, and smarter than you’d ever be.”
Hayden cut a sidelong glance in her direction, eyes wild.
Emmy let her head fall back against the headrest. “Why haven’t you finished what you came to do? Are you scared? Can’t finish what you started?”
His lips twisted, but she could see the tremble in them. Hayden didn’t have the gall to kill her. He might, by accident alone, as they careened around corners, but he couldn’t do it of his own volition. He was too weak.
Emmy looked back, through the rear windshield, with the hope that she’d see Boomer racing down the road after them. There was nothing there, making her stomach drop. He loved her. She knew that. Then, where was he?
No sooner had the thought filled her mind, the car slammed to a halt. She jerked forward before slamming back into her seat. Pain flared through her neck and shoulders. It was quickly replaced by the ice of adrenaline.
“Holy sh—” Hayden’s words were cut off by the sound of metal tearing. Hayden’s door fell away with a clang. A bear bent to growl into the cabin, eyes pinning Hayden.
Immediately, Hayden began fumbling with the buckle of his seatbelt. His fingers refused to do as his panic asked, but the bear reached forward. Claws sliced through the thick straps before grasping Hayden by the front of his shirt.
Emmy knew she should ask Boomer not to kill him, but she couldn’t find the words. The stuck in her throat. Thankfully, Boomer threw Hayden down the rocky road. The man’s body tumbled before landing unceremoniously in a heap. A moment dragged by and Hayden still didn’t move.
Slowly, Emmy managed to steady her hands enough to unbuckle herself. The front of the car was crushed from where Boomer had punched it. As she moved around the front of the car, Boomer fell to all fours and lumbered behind her. His shoulder bumped her as they walked. She wanted to tell him that she was alive and alright, but she wasn’t alright.
Fear still raced through her veins. It was cold and icy, sending pinpricks of pain through her body. More bears left the trees to join them on the road. There was a grizzly with black fur that moved to her other side. A pair of grizzlies approached Hayden from behind. The fifth bear walked up to the body and nudged Hayden with its nose.
Hayden surged to his feet and staggered away. His eyes were wide, the whites showing all around. They flicked from bear to bear. Astonishment and fear made his mouth move but allowed no sound to come out.
“I warned you,” Emmy reminded him.
“How…? What…?” Hayden stumbled into a bear, Morgan, perhaps. Panic slapped him, and he jumped away before stumb
ling into another bear. He ping-ponged between them until the road opened behind him.
Emmy wanted to ask them to finish it, so that Hayden would never hurt anyone again, but she couldn’t find it in herself to speak it. That wasn’t her. She wasn’t a heartless monster like Hayden. Maybe if there wasn’t hope for him, they could scare the right behavior into him. There were other ways of keeping him from hurting anyone else.
Little by little, the bears crept toward him. They were hunters on the prowl, grunting and growling. Emmy worked her way between them to stand at the front. Boomer shoved the others aside, so he could stay at her hip.
“Anywhere you go in the world, I’ll know. Just as you found me, I can find you.”
Hayden’s face twisted. First, it was anger, but the fear and panic would not release him. He couldn’t hide it.
She reached and let her hand sink into Boomer’s fur. “This isn’t a bear. It’s my mate. I believe you’ve met Boomer.” Nodding her head toward the next bear, she went on. “That’s Morgan, Orion, Reid, and Dominic. They don’t like the things you’ve done and I’m sure they all want to kill you. Here’s the thing, I won’t let them.
“Not right now. But, if you lay your hands on another woman the way you touched me, then I will let them finish the job they started. No one will find your body when they’re done with you because there won’t be anything left to find.”
Emmy could barely believe the words falling out of her mouth, yet she stood by them. She embraced the dark façade she was putting on and hoped Hayden fell for it. To add to her show, Orion snapped at Hayden. His teeth grazed skin and caught in Hayden’s sleeve. Hayden leapt back with a yelp.
They really didn’t need to do much more convincing. A long walk down the mountain back to town would help. Emmy waved her hand, dismissing him. For a second, his anger flared again. Then, he made eye contact with Reid and scuttled backward.
She let out a breath. Her whole body deflated. The adrenaline left, and she felt the impact of the car’s sudden stop. Her shoulders and neck ached with what could be whiplash. She knew Boomer hadn’t meant to hurt her, so she said nothing and let her feet drag along the ground.
Behind them, Hayden’s rental car was totaled. There was no way it had survived Boomer’s wrath. Emmy asked the bears to push it aside, so that other drivers wouldn’t be blocked by it.
Boomer nudged her with his head. Soft and sad eyes looked up at her, but she couldn’t meet them. Not with the feelings still twisting and writhing in her mind. She was angry. Of course, she was angry at Hayden, but she was also annoyed with Boomer. She’d asked him to make her like them, but he’d held back.
How much of this could have been prevented had she been a bear like them? She wouldn’t have allowed Hayden to drag her along. She wouldn’t have cowered before his gun. Emmy did not want to rely on the male bear shifters for the rest of her life. She wanted her own strength.
As she walked among them, there was a sense of other that overtook her. They were all strong and full of fight while she was fragile. They would always treat her as such, too. Emmy would never be strong in their eyes. She didn’t want them to treat her like that. It wasn’t a way to live. She wasn’t made of glass.
Hayden had seen to that.
Chapter Fifteen
Boomer could breathe easy now. Watching Hayden run down the hill had not been satisfying, but he was confident the man would never return. His mate would forever be safe from that worm. It left him with a sense of accomplishment.
It was a feeling that didn’t last. As they walked home, his mate was distant. Emmy kept her arms crossed over her chest. He tried to ask if she was hurt, if there was anything he could do. He would have let her ride along his back if she’d wanted. Yet, Emmy was careful to keep her distance.
His heart broke. Once they returned to the cabin and the other bears went on their way, he pulled the bear back. There was clearly something between them that needed to be worked out. He hoped that there was a way to work it out, that Emmy was not lost to him forever because he’d let Hayden dupe him.
The door had caught him, made him waste precious moments. If he hadn’t fallen for the trick, Hayden never would have gotten her into that car. It was his fault, that he knew. How could he apologize to her, though? He didn’t think Emmy would even let him touch her.
Finally, panting and heaving on the ground because he’d forced the change too fast, Boomer managed to lurch toward his mate. He found Emmy sitting on the ground, staring at the wreckage of the front door. It could be replaced. Their relationship could not. He needed to mend whatever it was he’d broken between them.
When he appeared, Emmy surged to her feet. She spun on him, fire in her eyes that he had not expected. With her finger pressed into his bare chest, her lips peeled back from her teeth.
“I’m not going to live like this. Not like some fragile doll that’s going to break if someone looks at her funny.”
He ran a hand through his hair, trying to work out his confusion. No one had treated her differently. He thought that she’d needed saving. Had he been wrong? Hayden held a gun to her head. The thought filled him with burning rage once more, making him huff out his nose.
“I want to be like you. I want to have a bear of my own. If I had…if I was stronger….” Tears streaked down her face.
Truth hit him like a blow to the gut. Immediately, he pulled her into his arms. She collapsed against him. It wasn’t because they’d treated her differently. No, it was because she saw herself as weak. When she’d seen what Boomer could endure, who could blame her? The idea of changing her wrenched his heart, but who was he to deny her?
Finally, after he let her cry out whatever she needed to cry out, he gently pushed her back, so he could look her in the eye. Her cheeks were red and puffy, streaked with the pain she’d endured. And he knew she’d endured so much.
“This is not going to feel good,” Boomer warned her.
Emmy squelched her sobs. She rolled her shoulders back and jutted out her chin defiantly. Emmy would not be swayed, no matter what he said. He could tell her the change would likely kill her and she would point out that life had already tried. He was so proud of her, his mate. This gentle soul was not weak.
Not in the least.
He’d tried to protect her, but she didn’t need his protection. She needed to fight on her own. He would stand by her as long as she needed him.
“Alright. I can see this is more important than a new door. As long as you don’t mind a draft for a couple of days, then let’s get this started.”
“Wait. What? You’re agreeing to this?”
Boomer pulled her into his body again. He’d almost lost her today. Hayden could have pulled that trigger any time and Emmy would have crumpled. Nothing he could have done would have saved her after death. He could not walk into the afterlife and bargain for her soul. It couldn’t be done.
He could only keep her alive. If this was the cost, then so be it.
“Yes,” he whispered into her hair. “I would lay the world at your feet if you asked. If this is all you want, then let’s do it.”
He went over everything that would happen, from the first bite to the first change. The bite he had to give her would be deep. It would be deadly. Her body would struggle under the weight of the magic trying to repair it, to transform it. Truthfully, Boomer had been born as a bear, so he did not truly know what it felt like to change, to feel a weak human body become molded into something stronger. He had to hold onto the belief that his mate could endure it. Of all the people he knew, Emmy could bear this.
She was strong and defiant. She was as steady as the earth beneath his feet.
This would not take her from him. He repeated the words over and over, not truly convinced. A seed of doubt embedded in his stomach.
***
Her mate hadn’t lied.
It hurt like nothing she’d ever known. It was every blow from Hayden she’d ever experienced, all at once. Somehow, Emmy en
dured it. The pain would not last forever. She knew in her heart that it was only a moment. This moment would pass, like all those that’d come before it.
Pain was something she could deal with.
It wouldn’t break her. It wouldn’t stop her from getting what she wanted. What she needed.
A new voice rose in her mind. It was soft, but strong. It was proud of her. The creature in her mind was an echo of herself, born from all that she’d ever known and all she’d ever become. The creature settled inside her as the pain began to fade.
When she woke, Boomer snored by her side. He was curled toward her, just out of reach as if he wanted to hold her but feared touch would cause her more pain. Her heart swelled. The voice leapt forward. It purred with happiness at the sight of him. The love they felt for him, mixing together, stole her breath and dropped tears from her eyes.
She didn’t know if she could love anything more than she loved this wild man. His hair was in disarray. Tendrils twisted and knotted with each other, some strands bleached by the sun while the others stayed dark like charcoal. His scent hit her and tightened her stomach. It was woodsy and musky and filled her with an unbridled need.
With a smile on her lips, she reached for the space between his legs. He wore nothing, giving her the best view and igniting something furious inside her. Her fingers wrapped around his cock and coaxed it into rising. Slowly, Boomer’s eyelids fluttered. He groaned, body tensing before rolling back to give her room.
The bear inside her whispered. It told her what to do and she listened. Emmy straddled her mate. His cock pressed against her wet core. Her skin, tender from what it’d just experienced, crackled with each brush of skin against skin.
Boomer gripped her hips and pulled her atop him. His cock slid home, making her eyes roll back. His smile was wild, his touch greedy. He directed her hips until she threw her head back and lost herself in the sensation. Pleasure bloomed between them. It was hot and heady. It was so much more than she ever imagined sex could be.
To Love a Bear Page 13