by Jamie Knight
She folds her arms and looks away from me. I let out a little more laughter, sigh, and relax. It’s better to have her angry at me rather than completely freaked out.
I look down below and see the operator and the attendant give each other the thumbs up. The operator presses a button and the ride starts going again.
For the rest of the time we’re on the Ferris wheel no words are spoken. Lindsay sticks to her guns and keeps her head turned away from me. But I notice that it takes a while for her face to turn from red to pale again.
Chapter Sixteen
Lindsay
Present day…
Christmas Break is over. Brent and I stopped by home to pick up my brother and the three of us drive back to Pacific Day University for the start of the new semester. The countryside has a nice fresh snowfall blanketing it as we drive by it on newly plowed roads. It’s pleasant and serene to look at, but it doesn’t keep my mind from recent events.
Brent and I have now slept together twice. I can’t believe I instigated the first time, but a second time? What will my parents say if they find out? What about my brother? They’ll probably call me a whore and disown me.
I’m ashamed. This whole engagement was supposed to be a fake, a sham, a beautiful lie designed so Brent can win some silly contest. But real things have happened. And sometimes we act like a real couple. Hell, we fight like we’ve been married for ten years every now and then.
So, what am I feeling? Do I like this guy? Do I want this to be an actual engagement? Brent drives me so crazy, though. I want to hate him like I used to but it’s not easy to turn that switch. I just wish we could go back to the way things were before. This has just become way too complicated.
The three of us are silent as we drive. I find that I can barely answer the questions the boys ask me. All I want is to get back to my dorm room and have some time alone to figure out what I think.
We drop Robert off at his dorm and head over to mine. Even with Robert gone, I find I cannot talk to Brent. There is nothing but silence in the car.
“Can I take your bag up to your room?” Brent asks as he parks.
I don’t want him alone with me in my dorm room. That’s one place we haven’t had sex yet and I’m not convinced we won’t if he comes up. When Brent starts to kiss me it’s hard to not get carried away.
I remember how he saw me half-naked up there. I was at my most vulnerable and I think he knew it. That’s when this whole mess started.
“No,” I say firmly. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“What are you talking about?” he says seeming a little annoyed. “I just want to help out.” He frowns at me. “And why have you been so quiet? You’ve barely said a word to me since we left Grandpa’s house.”
His green eyes glare at me. His blonde eyebrows are arched expectantly. Even angry, he’s so handsome and I hate that I think that. This is all getting too carried away. It’s too much!
“I can’t stand that we slept together!” The words burst out of my mouth. “It is weighing on me night and day. We shouldn’t have, because this isn’t real, but we did, and it was a mistake!”
Brent hisses and sits back in his seat.
“What are you talking about?” he says in a tone that is not only angry, but also confused.
“I’m saying maybe we should call the whole thing off,” I state bluntly. “I can’t be around you anymore.”
“You can’t be serious,” he snaps. “We’ve already told your parents and my entire family. We’re so close to winning this! Please, Lindsay, don’t give up!”
“I don’t care about the stupid contest!” I yell, as I clench my hands in front of me. “It’s all fake. But we fucked, Brent. That was real. And if my parents, the very same ones who adore you so much, and are finally treating me well, if they found out… Well, that would be the end of everything for me!”
“I can’t believe you,” Brent says.
He reaches over and tries to put a hand on my shoulder, but I pull out of his reach.
“Besides, how would they find out?” he asks.
“They always find out everything!” I scream, tears coming to my eyes.
“Lindsay! Lindsay,” he begs as I start to cry harder. “Just take a deep breath and relax. Everything is going to be fine. Your parents will never find out we slept together, and we can stop. If that’s what you really want.”
Is that what I want?
“I can’t handle this right now,” I tell him. “I need time to think.”
I jump out of the SUV and grab my bags. I lug them towards my dorm room, trying to not look back. I manage not to, until I hear Brent start the SUV and gun it out of the parking lot.
We didn’t even say goodbye.
Tears start pouring down my cheeks. Brent just doesn’t get it. This is all just a joke to him. He didn’t seem very concerned about my feelings or the fact we’ve had sex two times outside of marriage. I don’t think he gets it yet just how religious my parents are.
I feel so alone and confused, as if this entire charade is all for naught. I will eventually lose Brent, then the respect of Robert and my parents. Hell, I’m already fighting with Tina.
Just up ahead I see Sarah and her entourage of Madison, Milli, Alison, Brandy and Brit. They wave at me and start walking my direction. Shit! I stop and quickly rub my eyes to get rid of the evidence of my tears.
“Hey, Lindsay, we saw you get out of Brent’s car,” Sarah explains with a smile.
“Oh, yeah, well, he gave me a ride to campus,” I say trying to hide the truth.
I look down at my left hand and at his grandmother’s ring. How could they not notice that? I quickly move my hand behind me to try and hide it, but it is too late. Sarah has seen it. She reaches forward, grabbing at my arm.
“Lindsay, what is that on your hand?” she asks with a tone of surprise.
“Uh, it is nothing,” I say stammering a bit. “It’s really nothing.”
All the girls approach and circle around me. It’s like a game to them. They are all smiling and laughing as they try to look around to confirm their suspicions.
“Is that a ring?” Milli asks incredulously.
“What? On my hand?” I say to buy more time to think.
“It sure does look like a ring!” Madison says.
“Did Brent give that to you?” Sarah gasps. “Are you engaged to him?”
I feel like I am in the middle of an interrogation at a police station. These girls will eventually break me and force a confession. I wish I didn’t have to feel this way! I wish I was really engaged and not just living a sham. This whole situation has me all messed up.
“Oh come on, gal! Just tell us,” Brit says.
I have postured for too long. I might as well show them the ring and get it over with. I move my left hand from behind me and present it to them. The engagement ring sparkles in the sun. They all have wowed looks on their faces.
“O...M...G, darling!” Sarah shrieks.
“Gal, that is one serious piece of jewelry!” Brit exclaims.
“Are you kidding me? Congratulations!” Milli says, jumping up and down.
They all crowd me to get a closer look. I feel a bit overwhelmed by the attention. But just a few months ago, this was what I wanted. I was waiting to tell these girls about my engagement. I was excited about it and hoping to make them jealous. But now, all I can think of is if they found out what a fraud I am. What would they say then? Would they act so happy for me? They’d probably call me names and shun me.
“It is Brent, right?” Sarah asks for confirmation.
“Yes,” I say shyly.
“You have to tell us all about it!” Brandy says.
“Uh, yeah, I plan on telling you everything,” I say. “But can we do it another time? I’m exhausted from the trip.”
They all look a bit disappointed. I know they want all of the details, but I think it’s best if I hold off and tell them another time. Right now, I feel like such
a phony and I just want to run and hide. I better bow out gracefully, though.
“I have to unpack and do a couple of other things,” I tell them, summoning another fake smile. “I really want to spill the beans about everything, but I feel like I’m in a rush right now, and it would be unfair to you.”
“Um, okay, I guess we can wait,” Sarah says a bit dejected. “But not too long! Text you later?”
“Yes, of course” I say reassuringly. “I will see you all later!”
I manage to keep my smile and wave bye as I hightail it out of there. I start with a brisk walk and after I turn a corner and am out of view, I break into a jog hauling my bags the whole way. I see my dorm hall in the near distance. I can’t get there fast enough.
All I want to do it lay down and cry.
Chapter Seventeen
Brent
Furious, I drive back to my apartment speeding the whole way. I’m so mad. If Lindsay does decide to call this whole thing off… Well, I just don’t want to think about the potential fallout of such an action. What would Grandpa say? It would be a total disaster.
I swerve around a moving truck, avoid some boxes in the parking lot and pull into a space way too fast. The tires on the SUV screech. I know I should treat the rental better, but I just can’t think straight right now.
This entire situation has gotten completely out of control, Lindsay’s not wrong about that. Christmas Break was such a whirlwind. Yes, we fucked. It shouldn’t have happened. I know that’s true, but I don’t want to regret that it happened. Even though I kind of do.
Lindsay comes from such a strong religious background and I imagine that is part of the conflict inside of her. She was probably told by her parents and church elders that sex before marriage is the biggest sin. That must be why she is second guessing what we did. Or at least, I hope it is. I don’t want her to hate that she slept with me.
Hell, I don’t want her to not want to do it again.
I want her. I want Lindsay.
I shouldn’t because she is my best friend’s little sister. Robert has been such a good friend, he’d probably kill me if he found out I slept with his sister not just once, but twice! He’d most certainly stop hanging out with me, and I’d most likely never see Lindsay or him ever again. I have to find a way to avoid that nightmare scenario.
I just need to get back to my apartment, turn on some music, and clear my head out a bit. I get out of the car and head towards the stairs. I ignore the boxes everywhere. I’m sure I can reason with Lindsay and--
Oof! I almost run into someone on the steps to my apartment building.
“Sorry,” I mutter not looking up.
Not really paying attention, I try to move around the man, but he just moves in the same direction as I step, so he is in my way again. I move again. He follows, still getting in my way. I glance up to yell at him.
It’s Arron!
Why is my cousin at my place? It’s rather annoying that he has shown up out of the blue. What is he even doing here? Whatever it is it can’t be good. I try to calm myself. He’s the kind of person who senses weaknesses in other people and exploits them. To show annoyance would just provide him more ammo. I better play this cool.
“Oh hey, Arron!” I say while forcing a smile onto my face. “Dropping by for a visit?”
“Hello, cousin Brent,” he says with a wicked grin.
Oh jeez, whenever he drops the “Cousin Brent” moniker it means he has big news to share. But he won’t tell me out here. He’ll want to let the anticipation stew away so when he fully reveals whatever it is he has to say he can drink the reaction in. The dude is trouble!
“You want to come inside?” I ask.
“Love to,” Arron replies, still grinning.
I walk up to the front entrance of the apartment building and punch my code to unlock the front door. Arron and I head to the elevator and don’t say a word to each other. He is really reveling in this moment. We get off on my floor and walk down to the end of the hallway where I reside.
“Can I get you a drink?” I ask once we’re inside.
“You have any beer?” he asks, looking around the apartment.
“Sure, and I’ll have one too. I need to relax after a long drive,” I say while going over to the fridge.
I hand him a beer and then pop open mine. I take a long sip, trying to relax and see what hell my cousin brought with him.
Arron opens his can and, in one long annoying gulp, proceeds to down the entire beverage. After he finishes, he burps, crushes the can, and then tries to hand it back to me. I point to the recycle bin, but he tosses it in the garbage instead. What a dick.
“So, Brent, have some news to tell you,” he says. “I’m transferring to a new school. And guess where I’m landing?”
Just spit it out you irritating, irksome, infuriating, obnoxious dillrod.
“I’m transferring here, Brent,” he says in a snide tone. “To Pacific Day University. I am going to be here walking around campus. You’ll probably see me out on the quad. Hell, you’ll most likely bump into me everywhere.”
Oh wow, this is going to be tough to keep up this facade. But how is it any different than pretending to be engaged? Arron wants to see me upset by this news. I can’t give him the satisfaction.
“That’s great!” I say happily. “When do you move here?”
I can see him looking for a break in my demeanor. A tell that will give him the satisfaction he craves. I must remain strong.
“As soon as the paperwork is finished and I can transfer my credits then I’ll start taking classes,” he says. “But I’m moving here today. I got a two bedroom apartment in this building.”
Two bedrooms?
“That’s fantastic, Arron,” I say, hiding my true emotions. “You’re going to love it here. This really is the best school.”
“Yeah, all of that is well and good, but the real reason I’m here is to find a wife,” he says. He raises one dark eyebrow and give me a look. “I mean, if it was so easy for you to find one, has to be a cinch for me, right?”
And there it is. This is all about the contest. He is here to keep an eye on me and see if my engagement to Lindsay is real. I have to be on my best behavior at all times. But with Lindsay on the edge, so close to bailing on our arrangement, it is going to be tough. I absolutely have to convince her to keep going.
“You always do well wherever you go, Arron,” I say with fake cheer. “You’ll do just fine here. In fact, you’ll be flush with prospects.”
“And do you think Collin will excel, as well?” he asks, letting the other shoe drop.
I have to bite my tongue. This is another surprising development.
“Ah, so Collin is transferring too?” I ask.
“Yes,” Arron says. “That’s the reason we got a two-bedroom apartment.”
“Well hey, that’s even more great news,” I say. My face is starting to hurt beneath my fake smile. “The more the merrier, am I right?”
“Oh, it will be totally cool,” Arron says almost gloating. “The three of us together again.”
“Yeah, that’s awesome,” I say.
No, it’s not awesome. I need to figure out something, and fast!
“Hey, since Collin will be here too, what do you say you guys help Lindsay move into my apartment this weekend?” I ask.
I am somehow going to have to make this total lie into a reality.
“Are you two ready for that?” Arron asks. “Seems like a big step to take.”
“It’s a major commitment but our love is strong enough to handle it,” I say with made up confidence.
“Well hey, I’m there for you, cousin,” Arron says. “If you need my help you can count on it. Just let me know when and where and I’ll coordinate with Collin. We got this.”
“Thanks, Arron,” I say.
“Can I get a beer for the road?” he asks. “I’ve got a bunch more boxes to haul up.”
“Sure, give me an hour and I will help y
ou.”
After Arron leaves, I give Robert a call. He has to know about this new development. I need him on my side and to have my back. The contest just got crazy real.
“Robert, it’s Brent,” I say. “Hey, just to let you know, my cousins Arron and Collin are transferring here.”
“What?!” Robert says with surprise over the line. “Those two troublemakers are coming here?”
“Yep,” I confirm. “Just wanted to give you the heads up in case you bump into one of them around campus.”
“Appreciate it, buddy,” he says. “Grab a burger later?”
“Sounds good,” I say. “Give me a text and let me know what’s up. See ya.”
We both hang up. Robert is a good friend. I can trust him to keep an eye out and let me know if the cousins are up to something. Chances are they’ll hit the ground running and create a bit of chaos. They excel at that. But it also makes them clumsy. They have a tendency to telegraph their moves well in advance of making them. That’s one major reason I’ve beaten them in so many of Grandpa’s competitions over the years.
Now I have to get Lindsay back with the plan. I hope I can convince her. I head out across campus and go to her dorm room right away.
As I approach Lindsay’s dorm, I feel a sense of dread. I’m going to have to convince her to move in with me. I was hoping it wouldn’t come down to this, but when the nuclear option is the only one you have what else can you do? I just don’t know how Lindsay is going to feel about it. She might tell me to go to hell, particularly after how we left things earlier.
I take the stairs up to her floor, walk down the hallway and stand outside her room. It’s a much different experience than last time. Then, it was all fun and new and playful. I’d love to recapture those feelings.
The door is slightly open, but I still knock. “Lindsay? Can I come in?” I ask.
She is unpacking and doesn’t even look around to acknowledge me. She is clearly still pissed off at me.
“You may enter, Brent,” she says coldly.
I step into her room and take a deep breath. To achieve my mission, I am going to have a beg. It’s unbecoming of a Morgan, but when you’re in dire straights then drastic measures have to be taken.