But this time, instead of taking the comment as semi-serious, I saw it for the joke it was and smiled. “No, it wasn’t,” I agreed. “Though,” I continued, glancing over my shoulder toward where Matt was explaining something to Jim and Ted. “To be honest, when we were looking at your company’s site, it was actually Matt’s headshot that convinced us to buy the trip.” I wondered for a moment if my deadpan was too expressionless and he thought I was serious.
But then the giggle spouted up and out again and Jake shook his head. “Ouch, Gabriel,” he said when he could keep a straight face. “That really stings.”
I grinned at him, he grinned back and, for the first time in a long time, I felt like a real human being.
“You guys ready to keep moving?” Matt called down the path, interrupting our moment.
Jake flashed me an apologetic smile and went to go confer with his partner, leaving me to enjoy the last of the sunrise. As I stared out at the light-filled valley below us, I was, for the first time, truly happy I’d decided to come on this trip.
3
Jake
I told Matt to take the lead today, volunteering to stay behind and bring up the rear. While Gabriel had originally been more polite – or at least, less rude – to Matt, I felt like we were actually on better footing now. And I didn’t mind trailing at the back if I knew that meant someone would actually be at the back. Yesterday wasn’t the first time Matt had abandoned his position. And, like I’d told him yesterday, the last thing we needed was for a client to get lost and fall off a cliff.
Not that I thought Gabriel was actually stupid enough to go wandering along cliff edges, but still. I definitely wouldn’t put it past him to get crazy lost.
So, as we trudged up the last few miles to the summit of Mount Vain and the incredible view of the Rockies it offered, I walked painfully slowly, stopped and waited every few minutes, watching Gabriel struggle. It was clear that he wasn’t a hiker, hadn’t spent much time outdoors, and was only barely keeping it together. If I took a deep enough breathe, I could literally smell the desperation and frustration on him. So why, I was dying to know, was he here? Had it been the no-show’s idea? The guy he was supposed to have come with? And if that were the case, why hadn’t he cancelled when the other guy had? Along with desperation and frustration, I smelled failed romance in the air. So, while I was itching to know the story, I wasn’t about to ask.
Though, to be fair, Gabriel wasn’t complaining. His breath came in short ragged gasps, he stumbled on the loose rocks underfoot, but he didn’t stop. He just kept his head down and put one foot in front of the other. I had to hand it to the guy: he was determined.
And there was something about that determination that called to me. I could feel the wolf in me stirring, drawn to this aloof but hurting omega. I was starting to see that his coldness and rude behavior might be coming from pain and fear rather than just general bad attitude. And maybe it was just my body reacting to those big blue eyes of his, but something in me wanted to make him feel better.
Not that he made it easy.
The last few feet of the path were steep, so you basically had to climb up and over about six feet of rock wall. It was hard but do-able. If you were used to stuff like that.
Gabriel was clearly suffering, and I came over to offer to help him – wrong choice.
“Do you want me to give you a leg up?” I tried, keeping my voice upbeat.
He looked over at me, his dark eyes hard and unimpressed. “I’m fine,” he said coldly and continued trying to heave himself up over the ledge.
“It’s really not a problem. If you want—”
“But I don’t want,” he replied, cutting me off.
I swallowed a sigh and bit my tongue. So much for the small amount of bonding we’d done. Apparently, we were back to square one.
For a minute, I stood back, arms crossed as I fumed silently and watched Gabriel struggle. But then I took a closer look at his face and realized that he was on the brink of tears. I sighed. The man had too much pride for his own good. What had happened to him that he couldn’t even ask for help when he needed it? Gabriel, you’re an idiot, I thought.
“Gabe, you’re being stupid,” I told him, marching up next to him again. Shocked, he turned toward me, already drawing himself up, ready for a fight. “Being outdoors, climbing mountains, and shit like this aren’t things that people can do alone. That’s why we go in groups. We all need help from time to time. There are just some things we can’t do alone. So stop acting like a child, and let me help you.”
He blinked at me, those two red circles on his cheeks getting even redder with embarrassment. “But everyone else did this on their own,” he muttered.
“No, everyone else did this with the help of their partner,” I replied. Which was true.
Gabe looked at me, clearly surprised.
“You didn’t notice because you were too focused on the ground, but everyone needed help with this wall. I mean, except Matt. But that’s because he and I are professionals.”
“I…” Gabriel began, but I didn’t let him finish.
“And I’m sorry I called you Gabe, but I was really frustrated,” I continued, getting it out all in one breath.
He blinked, then snorted and began to laugh. “You don’t need to apologize,” he said. “It’s okay. I don’t actually mind the name Gabe. It’s just…someone I used to know always called me Gabe and now it’s got bad memories attached.”
I nodded. I could understand that.
“And I was being pretty frustrating,” he added, almost shyly. He looked down at his feet in their fancy, almost-pristine boots. I sighed.
“Look, just…can I make a suggestion?” I asked.
Meeting my eyes again, he nodded. “Yes,” he said. “Please,” he added, making me smile.
“Throw your bag up first,” I told him, and did the same with my bag.
He watched the perfect arc of my bag and made a face. But, gamely, he shrugged off his pack and tossed it up as well. It landed closer to the edge, but not so close that it fell back down onto us.
“Okay, next, look for any finger or toe holds in the stone,” I told him.
He glanced at the rock and then made a sort of happy squawk. “There’s one,” he said, pointing to a shallow groove near the base of the wall, then another slightly higher up. “And there’s another!”
“Perfect,” I said. “I’m going to climb up now and if you get stuck, I’ll help pull you up, okay?”
He made another face but nodded.
I reached up and grabbed the lip of the wall, pulling myself up and over in a move that we both knew Gabriel didn’t have the upper body strength to execute. But it didn’t matter. I’d show him how to climb up.
“Okay. Now, grab the lip of the rock and fit your toe into the first groove,” I told him, watching from above.
For once, he did as he was told.
“Great, now pull yourself up a little and fit you other toe into the second groove.”
His arms shook a little as he scrabbled around with his right foot, looking for purchase in the stone. I wanted to grab his arms but held back, knowing he wanted to do this by himself. Finally, he did. His right foot caught the groove and he grinned up at me.
“Push,” I told him, grinning back.
Hands gripping the lip of the wall for dear life, he put his weight on his right foot and pushed himself up and past the lip. Throwing himself forward onto the dirt next to me, he scrabbled and managed to get his left leg over the edge and onto the path.
“Oh my god,” he gasped as he finally staggered to his feet. “Oh my god, I did it!” He met my eyes and grinned like a loon. Then, before I could reply, he threw his arms around me and hugged me.
I blinked, caught off guard. But my arms reacted on their own, hugging him back. I could feel his heart hammering against mine, smell the salty sweat in his hair. My jeans suddenly felt a little tight.
As quickly as the hug had come, it end
ed. Gabe stepped back, clearing his throat awkwardly. “I, um…thanks,” he said. “Thanks for helping me.” He raked a hand through his dark hair and looked at the ground, embarrassed.
I smiled at him. “No problem,” I told him. “But…next time…just ask me for help, okay?”
He looked back up at me and gave me a hesitant smile. Suddenly it was my heart that was hammering. “Okay,” he said softly, picking up his bag and slinging it back on.
I swallowed, watching him head towards where the rest of the group was already eating lunch. I’d liked the feeling of him in my arms. Maybe a little too much.
4
Gabriel
Fifth day. I’d climbed four mountains so far this week. I, Gabriel Front, had climbed four mountains - and today I would climb my fifth. I felt so proud of myself I could burst. I was doing this!
I mean, I was sore as fuck, dirty in really weird places, and probably going to be permanently hunched over from carrying that backpack everywhere, but I was thrilled. For the first time on the trip, I was looking forward to setting out for the day. For the first time I felt sure I could finish the hike.
I glanced up toward the front of the bus where our guides were hunched over a map, talking with their heads nearly touching. If I was honest, there was maybe one other reason why I was looking forward to the day’s hike.
Jake raised his head, glancing back at the group, his eyes sliding over everyone until they met mine. He looked at me and grinned, his white teeth flashing bright against his tanned skin. Winking, he turned back to Matt and the map.
I felt a blush rise in my cheeks and I quickly turned to look out the bus window, just in case he looked back. I couldn’t deny it. Jake made me feel things I didn’t think I’d be feeling for a long time to come - especially not for some cock-sure alpha. I’d been so set on being angry and bitter but, over the last few days, he’d wormed his way under my defences. Yesterday he’d stayed at the back of the group again and we’d chatted off and on, whenever I’d been able to catch my breath. I honestly didn’t know if he was doing it just to make me happy as his client or if he genuinely liked me. Either way, it was working. He’d won me over. And I liked to think it was because of the latter.
I didn’t know if we’d get the chance to talk today, but I hoped so. I was like a schoolgirl with a crush, my stomach filling with butterflies every time I thought about him. But it was a welcome feeling after all the pain and anguish Saul had left in his wake.
As it turned out, I didn’t need to worry. He took up his position at the end of the group and grinned at me, making my stomach flip-flop. I gave him a hesitant smile in return. While his attention might give me butterflies, I still felt shy – my scars were still fresh, after all. But I was growing more open every day.
“Today’s gonna be the hardest day yet,” Jake told me, coming up next to me as soon as we began to walk. The rest of the group had already fallen into single file on the path ahead. Jim, the last person before me, was already well in front of me. Next to me, Jake carried a backpack twice the size of mine, but easily kept pace with my slow gait.
“Sure, tell me that just as we get started. Really good for building morale,” I replied. But instead of feeling the throat-closing, stomach-twisting anxiety I’d felt on the first few days, I only felt mildly worried. You can do this, you can do this, I repeated over and over to myself.
Jake giggled his adorable giggle and I smiled despite myself. “You can do it,” he said, as if he could read my thoughts. “You’re already making better time than your first day.”
“I am?” I asked, perking up. “Really?”
“Sure. Don’t you notice?”
I looked forward to the rest of the group. “Not really. Everyone else is still way ahead of me.”
“Trust me, they were even more way ahead of you on the first day. At least you can still see them today,” Jake pointed out.
I winced in embarrassment but nodded. “That’s true.”
“And you can talk and walk at the same time,” he added, his smile growing. “The first day your eyes were glued to the path.”
He was right. I did feel more confident looking at the scenery as we walked and not worrying about whether I would trip – which made the hikes way more enjoyable. “You’re really trying to prop up my ego, aren’t you?” I asked. “Do I really seem so pitiful?”
He cocked his head and looked at me for a second. “Yes,” he replied. But, before I could respond, he laughed and shook his head. “Honestly, Gabriel, you just seem like you could do with having someone in your corner. That first day, you looked like there was nothing you’d rather being doing less than hiking up a mountain.”
“That’s exactly how I felt,” I replied.
“Then why did you come?” Jake asked. Right after he’d said it, he bit his lip and I could see that he regretted asking. “Sorry,” he said quickly. “You don’t need to—”
“No, it’s a fair question,” I cut him off. “I stick out like a sore thumb, I know. I’m sure you’ve all been wondering.”
He didn’t deny it.
I took a deep breath and got ready to come clean – just as we came to a steep, rocky patch of path that I had to scrabble up and over the loose rocks with all of my attention.
Once we were passed that though, I glanced back at Jake. I might as well tell him, I thought. If he wasn’t put off by my desperation so far, surely this won’t chase him away either.
“My ex bought the trip. It was all his idea,” I blurted out. “He was one of those big, rugged lumberjack-type alphas. Loved being out of doors.”
Jake nodded. “But you clearly don’t. Why would he book a trip like this for the two of you, then?”
I laughed cynically. “That was Saul’s idea of a power move. He worked all the time and was never home, but when I said I wanted to see him more, he did things like that. I dunno. Like, to punish me or something for being too needy.”
“Isn’t wanting to see your boyfriend normal, not needy?” Jake asked softly.
I shrugged. “I thought so. But Saul coveted his independence. And he liked to make sure I knew my place. He loved activities that made me feel inferior.” I made a face. “He hated that I made more money than him and things like this were a way of asserting his dominance. It wasn’t…it wasn’t a healthy relationship.”
Jake nodded. “Yeah. Man, that sounds totally fucking shitty. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. It’s…good to talk about it actually. I haven’t really, since the break up.”
“What happened?” he asked, his curiosity clearly getting the better of his professionalism.
“I caught him cheating on me,” I replied.
“No, what?” Jake cried, looking indignant. “After all that?”
“Yeah,” I laughed bitterly. “That was one of the reasons he didn’t have time to spend with me. Too busy spending it with his bit on the side. Or bits on the side. There was probably more than one, to be honest. But I only saw the one.”
“You walked in on them? Oh man, salt in the wound.”
“No, it was better that way,” I said, shaking my head. “That way he couldn’t deny it. Hard to deny the fact that you’re cheating when you’re balls deep in some guy you’ve got splayed out over the kitchen table.”
“Oof,” said Jake.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t…you don’t need to know the gory details.” I felt my blush return. It had felt so good to get this off my chest that of course I’d gone and shared too much. “I’m really sorry. You hardly even know me.”
“Nah, don’t apologize, Gabe,” he said, putting a hand on my arm. “If you need to vent, then vent. I’m just sorry that happened to you.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Really…this isn’t exactly in your job description.”
He laughed. “Being a decent human being doesn’t need to be in the job description,” he replied. After a moment of contemplative silence, he asked. “But that doesn’t really answer my question. Why
did you decide to come on the trip after all that?”
“Well, first of all because Saul had used my credit card, so I’d actually paid for it. And second because…because it just fucking infuriated me that he’d cheated on me and bullied me into doing this trip even though he thought I wouldn’t be able to. I wanted to show him…no, fuck him, I wanted to show myself that I could do this. That I could do something I’d never done before. That I was strong and, you know, like…a worthwhile human being.”
“Good,” said Jake emphatically. “Good for you. And you should be proud of yourself. You’re doing great,” said Jake and he gave me a big, heart-melting grin – right as I stepped on a loose rock and slid. “Oops!” he said, grabbing my arm to keep me from losing my balance.
“Well…sort of great,” I said, smiling sheepishly. I could feel my cheeks burning. His hand was strong and warm on my arm. I didn’t want him to let go.
“No way, Gabe. You are doing great,” he said, and his voice grew soft and low. “Though, I don’t think you need to be able to hike up a mountain to be worthwhile human being.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, swallowing. He was so close to me. My head was full of his scent that it made me dizzy. He leaned in – or maybe I did.
His lips on mine were warm and urgent. I hadn’t realized how much I wanted him but, the minute our mouths met, I was trembling with desire. Jake groaned softly, digging his fingers into my hair and drawing my head back as his tongue slid between my lips. I felt my knees go weak. Tightening his grip on my arm, he drew me in tight against his hard chest. I didn’t resist.
My hands grabbed at the rough material of his jacket. I wanted to get myself as close to his heat as possible. The hand on my arm dropped to my ass, bringing me up hard against his growing erection. A moan escaped my lips. I could feel myself growing slick. God, I’d let him take me then and there without a second thought.
But then a call echoed through the air to bring us crashing back to reality. The rest of the group was around a bend, out of sight, and Matt’s voice trailed back towards us, bouncing off the rocky slopes. We jumped apart like guilty children.
Omega in the Wild Page 2