His boots appeared at the side of the tub, and then his knees as he crouched down. “Let me help you,” he whispered, his voice a broken stutter. I couldn’t do or say anything. I was too far into my own head, and I wasn’t sure if anything he did could fix it.
My body was limp inside the tub, my arms hanging loosely with my hands plunged into the water. He picked up a sponge, squirted some body wash onto it, and foamed it up. And, all the while, I sat there, staring at nothing and thinking of everything.
What if I had kept my cell in my pocket back at the apartment? I could have called Brody. He’d have come, and Hut would still be breathing. I squeezed my eyes closed, but they sprang open a second later when all I could see was Hut’s body draining of blood and life.
“It’s okay,” Brody said, placing the sponge on my arm and swiping it over my skin. I shivered from the contact and tried my hardest not to flinch away, but I knew he noticed when he paused. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”
I couldn’t tell him I wasn’t sure it would be. I couldn’t tell him I’d always feel different after taking someone’s life. My voice refused to work. My head was screaming at me to latch on to him, to ask him to hold me as tight as he could so I didn’t fall apart, but I couldn’t get the words out.
He lifted each arm in turn, wiping the blood and dirt off my hands and from under my nails. The water started to get murky, but I was fascinated by it. I was enthralled with the way it mixed together like the darkness of the night.
I blinked when the sponge made contact with my stomach and pulled in a sharp breath at the cut there. Each second ticked by slower than the last as I remembered what Hut threatened to do to me.
“Shit,” Brody spat. “I think you need to go to the hospital.”
The cut wasn’t bad, I knew that, but when I looked up at him and saw he was staring at my face too, I wondered what I looked like to him. Did I reflect as broken as I felt?
He swapped the sponge for a soft washcloth, and gently smoothed it over the side of my face Hut’s boot had been pressed against, followed by the other side with all the scratches. “Lola? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”
All I could managed was a shake of my head, and even though his lips spread into a thin line, I couldn’t bring myself to voice my opinion. I stared down at my hands and let him continue, groaning when he washed my hair and hit the sore spot that had slammed into the gravel. I just wanted this to be over with. I wanted things to go back to how they were before. I wanted my normal life back. I wanted—
“All done,” Brody announced. “Let me help you up.”
My strength had disappeared, so I allowed him to pull me out of the tub and wrap a towel around me. Time was moving at the speed of light and then the slowness of a snail, all blending into one. He dressed me in a T-shirt and some shorts, tucked me into the queen-sized bed, and sat beside me.
He didn’t touch me, and for that, I was grateful. But at the same time, I wanted him to hold me. I closed my eyes, willing the images from the night to disappear, but I wasn’t lucky. My brain was determined to make me relive it over and over again. And when Brody’s soft snores rang throughout the room, I decided I didn’t need sleep.
All I needed was him.
BRODY
I hadn’t thought twice about where we would go when I took Lola from the offices. My body had worked on automatic, and we’d ended up at the lake house. We’d be safe from everything here, even if I knew time was ticking by.
I hadn’t intended to keep her away forever, just long enough so she could process what had happened and then give her statement, but I hadn’t known what was ahead of us. It had been three days, and Lola still hadn’t said a word to me.
The dark circles under her eyes told me she hadn’t been able to sleep, and when she did nod off, she’d wake up screaming and shaking. I had no idea what to do to make it better. My body screamed at me to touch her, to hold her like it craved to, but I wasn’t so sure it was what she needed.
She needed to process and to start healing.
I let out a long breath and stepped outside, my gaze immediately zoning in on where she was sitting in a chair on the dock. She’d taken to being outside all day and staring at the vast beauty, but I had an inkling she wasn’t seeing anything but the images inside her own head.
The wooden slats creaked as I approached her, and her shoulders tensed. “Hey,” I ventured, my voice echoing around us. The sun hadn’t long come up, and another day was ahead of us, but she had no idea what would happen. The guys had been patient with us, but people were starting to ask questions, which meant we needed to go back and do what I’d rescued her from.
“We have to head back,” I said, crouching down next to her.
Her head whipped around to face me, and I winced at the bruises and cuts marring her beautiful face. There was no way you could look at her and not see she had fought. She’d fought for her life, and in the process had to take someone else’s.
Lola opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Part of me wanted to shake her, to tell her she didn’t need to stay silent. She could talk to me. She could tell me anything. “I know it’s hard, but once you’ve told them what happened, we can move on. You can start to heal, and”—I flicked my gaze to the water and back to her—“start talking to me again.”
Her hazel eyes misted over, a sheen of tears coating them. She was trapped inside herself, and I had no idea what to do to get her out of it. She stood so quickly it nearly knocked me off-balance, but I managed to catch myself and stand with her.
I swallowed as she stepped to the side and let her head hang back. She stared up at the sky, opened her mouth, and let a scream rip from her vocal cords. It echoed around the lake, the sound of pure torture, and I just stood there. I stood and watched her, feeling like this was the first step she had to take.
Tears streamed down her face when she stopped and looked back at me, her shoulders sagging, and I didn’t think twice about wrapping my arms around her. “It’s okay,” I murmured. “I got you, darlin'. Never doubt that.”
She clasped on to my T-shirt, twisting it, and sobbing into my chest. “I’m sorry,” she said, over and over again, but I wasn’t sure who she was saying it to, so I held her tighter, refusing to let go. I’d given her space, but I couldn’t stand by any longer and not hold her.
We stood there for what felt like hours until she pulled away, wiped at her face, and pushed her shoulders back. “I think I’m ready,” she whispered, her voice hoarse from not using it and the scream.
I placed my hands on either side of her face, my touch whisper-soft as to not hurt her, and stared into her eyes. “I’ll be right there, every step of the way. I’m on your side. Always.” She nodded and placed her palm over mine, and that was all the permission I needed to take her hand and lead her back into the house.
I gathered our things and shot off a message to Jord to let him know we’d be there in a few hours, and met Lola out front. She was staring at the chair my pop used to sit in with a small smile on her face.
“You ready?” I asked.
She turned to face me, and her chest moved as she inhaled deeply. “Yes.”
Not another word was spoken as we got into my Mustang and started the long drive back to the office. My hand found its way over to hers about thirty minutes into the drive, and not long after that, her eyes closed, and she finally slept peacefully, if only for a couple of hours.
The guys were waiting for us when we pulled up, and I wasn’t sure what to expect from Lola. She was giving nothing away, so I did what I had done since she’d finally spoken again. I didn’t shy away from her. I helped her out of the car and inside, heading right for the interview room.
“I’ll be on the other side of that mirror,” I told her, pointing at it as Kyle and Jord came in. “Just tell them what happened and then we can leave, okay?”
She nodded and replied, “Okay.”
I stood and walked out, not looking back once, becaus
e I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to leave her in that room. Ryan joined me in the other room, and together, we watched them.
Kyle started with his calm voice, asking her what had happened, and I crossed my arms over my chest, listening intently.
“I…” She cleared her throat and picked up the small, plastic cup in front of her. “I don’t know where to begin.” She took a sip of the water and placed it back on the table.
“From the beginning,” Kyle said. “Tell us what you did from the time you woke up that day.”
She nodded and worried her bottom lip. My pulse thrummed faster, my blood pumping through my veins, and all I wanted to do was leap into that room and take her away from all of this. But I’d already done that once, and now she had to face what was happening. It was the only way she would heal.
“I had a day off, so I woke up late. I texted…someone to make plans for the night, and then headed out for a walk. I got a sandwich and went back to my apartment. And then…Hut showed up.” Her voice was so monotone until the last three words. “He wanted me to go with him, and I refused. I put up a fight.” She glanced from Jord to Kyle. “I didn’t want to go, but then I couldn’t get away.” Her shoulders slumped, and she wrapped her arms around her stomach. “I figured if I went with him, I’d do whatever he needed me to and then I could get home and forget all about it.”
“Okay,” Jord said. “What happened next?”
“He made me get in his trunk.” Her nostrils flared, and she moved her arms so she could wrap her hands around the plastic cup on the table. “And he took me to this warehouse. He was trying to give me to Carson so he’d buy drugs off him. I panicked and said something that made Carson back out.” I stepped forward, willing one of the guys to ask what she said, but she kept going. “Then Hut said it was all my fault. That everything was my fault. He… He…” She placed her hand on her chest and moved it down to her stomach. “He said…”
She pushed up out of the seat, and Jord sprang up at the same time. I couldn’t stand here and watch it anymore. I couldn’t witness her falling apart, not when I was only a few feet away.
I dove for the door, and Ryan tried to stop me again, but nothing could halt me from getting to her. She needed me, and I was going to come to her rescue, whether she liked it or not. I flung the interview room door open, my gaze batting over Kyle who was sitting in the same position, Jord who stood at the edge of the table, and Lola as she leaned against the wall, gripping her stomach.
“He said he’d cut my baby out,” she whispered.
I gripped on to the doorframe, the world tilting on its axis. Jord and Kyle both whipped around to look at me, silence hanging in the air.
“I didn’t have a choice,” Lola continued, finally looking at them and frowning. Her gaze followed where they were looking, and smacked me in the face. “I didn’t have a choice, Brody. I had to do it. I had to.”
I heard what she was saying, I understood it, but I couldn’t think straight. I couldn't make sense of what she’d said. She had a baby—my gaze flitted to her stomach, where her hands covered, protecting what was inside her. She wasn’t showing yet, and no matter how much I tried to calculate the dates, I couldn’t work them out.
Why hadn’t she told me at the lake house?
“I didn’t have a choice,” Lola repeated, her shoulders slumping as she let her back slide down the wall.
She didn’t have a choice, but I did.
Chapter Thirty-Three
LOLA
My ass hit the floor, and I brought my knees up to my chest, resting my head on them and trying to make myself as small as possible.
I’d killed him.
I’d taken his life.
I’d chosen me.
It didn’t matter that I knew only one of us would have made it out of that night alive. It wasn’t an excuse, but it was the truth. I didn’t have a choice, and I kept repeating it over and over again.
Four guys stood in the room, and I was starting to understand this was Brody’s team. These were the people who had been on the case with him to bring Hut down. And now they were bringing me down too. Hut wasn’t around anymore, but would that stop them?
“Get up,” a rough voice demanded.
I slowly lifted my head, my gaze trailing from the combat boots, over jeans, a T-shirt, and finally Brody’s face. “I—”
“Get up,” he repeated, holding out his hand. His dark-brown eyes begged me to do as he said. “Please.”
I placed my hand in his, letting him help me into a standing position. He let my palm go as soon as I was upright, and part of me wanted to scream at him not to let go. I was afraid if something didn’t keep me connected to this world, I’d float away.
He ambled across the room, and I wasn’t sure what I was meant to do. I glanced at the other three guys, all who watched me with interest.
“Go on,” the one with green eyes and light-brown hair said. He’d been the one to ask me what had happened. “Follow him.”
I frowned, really freaking confused about what was happening.
“Go,” the other guy with a small Afro said. His tone was rough, but the kindness in his eyes flashed at me.
I took a step toward the door, my legs shaking, but after another one, I felt stronger, ready to tackle what was about to be thrown at me.
Brody stood just outside the door, his gaze not meeting mine as he took my wrist and led me between some desks and to the elevator we’d taken to this floor. He was silent the whole way down, and I wondered where he was taking me until we headed to the large glass doors at the entrance of the building.
“We’re leaving?” I asked, but he didn’t answer me, just kept on walking to the car we’d come in. He opened the passenger door, shut it behind me, and got into the other side.
I wanted to really think about what was happening, but all I could see was the blood draining out of Hut’s body, and the life evaporating from his eyes. He’d died right in front of me, and at my hands. I shuddered at the memory.
“Brody? I’m not sure what’s—”
“Don’t say anything,” he interrupted, his hands clenching the steering wheel tighter, causing his knuckles to turn white. “I just need a minute to”—he puffed out a breath and scrubbed his hand over his face—“I just need a minute to process everything.”
It was understandable that he needed some time. He’d just found out the truth. A truth I’d kept from him, but now he knew, and I had no idea how he would react.
I stared out the window as he drove to my apartment. When we got there, I headed into the shower and scrubbed every inch of my body—twice. I washed my hair three times, waiting for the water to run clear, and finally, when I felt like I was clean, I stepped out.
I pulled on an oversized T-shirt and some leggings, not bothering to do anything with my wet hair. I didn’t have the energy to do much apart from walk into the living room where Brody was waiting, his head in his hands and arms leaning on his thighs.
“Hey,” I ventured.
His head sprang up, his gaze taking me all in, and a small smile appeared on his face. “Hey.”
I worried my bottom lip and inhaled a breath. I had to tell him what was going on. He’d heard what I said in the interview room, but he hadn’t listened to what I was saying. He didn’t know what I planned to do. He had no idea other than me repeating what Hut had said.
I stepped toward the kitchen and tried to calm my racing heart. I pulled open the first drawer as I heard Brody moving, and when I glanced back, he was watching me but still sitting on the sofa. I retrieved what I had to show him and spun around, wanting to close the distance between us but scared to do so.
“I was trying to do this the right way,” I started. I held my breath for a second and let it burst back out of me. “I need to explain everything.”
“Lola—”
“No.” I shook my head and held up my hand, aware of the shaking of my fingers. The last couple of days had been a whirlwind and a s
hit storm all rolled into one, but I had control over this right now. “Let me explain.” I took a step forward. “When you came to my apartment that first time, I’d only found out the night before.” He frowned and stood. “I should have told you then, but…I didn’t want you to choose me because of this. I wanted you to be with me because you wanted to be with me.”
“Darlin', it was never a case of me not wanting to be with you.” He took another step, leaving only another three between us. “I meant what I said then, and I mean it now.” He paused. “I love you. There was never any doubt in my mind about that.”
I tried to push past the lump building in my throat to get it all out. “I didn’t mean to keep it a secret. I just…I didn’t know what to do. And then you came to me and…” I blew out a breath. “This whole thing is a mess, Brody.” I closed my eyes, letting the tears fall that had been threatening. “I’d understand if you wanted to walk away, but know I’d do this alone. I’m in this with or without you.” I opened my eyes, and he was right in front of me. “But I’d prefer if you were in with me.”
He stayed silent, and I had no idea what he was thinking. His features were schooled into a carefully honed mask.
“I…” I couldn’t get the words out. The last time I said them it’d been in a last-ditch attempt to save myself, and it had worked, but not without pain in the process. Instead, I handed him the ultrasound picture.
He took it, and I noted his shaking hands. He was affected, no matter how much he tried to hide it. He stared down at it, back at me, and opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
“That…” I pointed to the little blob. “Is our baby.”
Fallen Duet: Brody & Lola: Free Fall & Down Fall (Easton Family Duet Boxsets Book 1) Page 35