by Kaylee, Katy
“I d-… I don’t want you to leave…” Gwen’s bare whisper was only a collection of sounds, and I tilting my head down to rub my neck in agitation. Climbing back onto the bed, I laid down on my side, and she didn’t resist when I tugged her to my chest. Warm and soft and heavy in my arms, she breathed a sigh that rolled down my sternum before continuing. “I’m not…like you, Ryan… my one and only other relationship was so bad… and I- I don’t know what I’m supposed to do… I want to believe you- I do- but… it’s not that easy.”
“Gwen- the sex is easy- it always is. It’s always easy to give in… but you of all people should know that you can’t get anywhere without putting in effort. That’s all we need to do- put in effort. Okay?” Stroking her hair and cheek, I smiled small when Gwen nodded, and I placed a chaste kiss on her lips.
Disaster averted… for now.
If Gwen told me to leave, I’d probably have a breakdown; how awful was this for her, trying to start her restaurant and finding out she was pregnant? And who was helping her day in and day out- not with the practical stuff of being pregnant, but with her? Who was making corny jokes or listening to her raging emotional rants or telling her she shouldn’t be eating 30 garlic bread knots at 3am, but not actually stopping her? Well… I just assume…
“You know- I don’t have to go back until filming starts again, so it’s not like I’m putting acting on the back burner, Gwen. S&R is my only project right now, so just… relax, okay?” My smile widened when she perked up at the assurance, and I glanced over her shoulder at the alarm clock on the night stand. “I’m gunna order pizza. Want one?”
“Yes!” The dense mood vanished at her excited squeak, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Sitting up, I twisted to grab my cell phone, and she rolled onto her back to hoist herself up against the headboard. “Can you get me bacon? And sausage? And jalapenos.”
“Yeah, of course.” Unlocking the device, the hairs on my arm and back stood up at the pleasure that radiated from behind me, and my smile widened. “I rarely eat pizza or anything- that’s definitely Tommy’s go-to, for sure. I think I deserve to splurge a little, though. I have pizza, maybe, twice a year. I’m just so used to eating this way, now.”
“I’ve gotten so used to eating what I make.” Leaning against my back, Gwen kissed my shoulder, and I held back a groan. Fiddling with my online order, my fingertips tingled as she pressed up against me, and her baby bump curved perfectly to the small of my back. Soft, chapped lips brushed along the back of my neck, and her palms caressed my chest to send tension to grip my abdomen. “I wasn’t sure what I was more afraid of- you leaving or staying.”
Affection grappled my heart, and I confirmed the order before setting my phone on the small table. Laying down, I couldn’t get over how beautiful Gwen was as she straddled me with desire brightening her eyes. Her hot folds clung to my cock, coaxing it up, and I dragged my palms up her thighs to her ass.
“There was only ever one choice, Gwen.” Rolling her hips, Gwen descended on me to smash her lips on mine, and my declaration hung heavy over us. Gathering up her hair to fist loosely, I squeezed her juicy ass as the smell of her arousal slithered into my nostrils. She had lost a little weight- in her face and waist- but her butt… God, I just wanted to slap it and watch it jiggle.
Creeping between her ass cheeks, my fingertips probed Gwen’s hole as her breaths morphed into shallow pants, and my lips quirked up.
Gwen
“Let’s see, here…” Staring at the monitor under creased brows, I tightened my grip on Ryan’s hand at my OB’s murmur. On the screen was our baby, and he leaned over me to squint, his face a mask of awe and concentration out of the corner of my eye. Holding my breath, my heart hammered in my chest, and I gulped before she spoke up. “There it is- a penis. It’s a boy.”
Pointing at the screen, she took a still before all of the tension rushed from my muscles, and I flopped my head back to blow out a hot breath. This was Ryan’s first time seeing our son, and my gaze flickered to him to widen at the tears sparkling, gathering against reddened rims.
And the worst part was that he didn’t even know the truth because I freaked out and lied.
“A boy… that means you were right, Gwen.” Reaching to stroke my cheek without looking away from the screen, Ryan’s adam’s apple bobbed dangerously. “It’s a boy…”
“Mothers are usually right about the sex- about 80% of the time, they are. So, I’m going to print this out, and you can go schedule your next checkup and be on your way.” Nodding in agreement, I flexed my fingers in Ryan’s grip only to find they’d fallen asleep, and he tore his eyes off the monitor to grin broadly. The fetal heart monitor went silent, and the probe on my belly disappeared as time suddenly regained its meaning. Wiping the gel away, my OB clicked around on the computer as I sat up, and Ryan rubbed my back while stiffly releasing my hand.
“Sorry…” His ears turned pink, and he rolled his lips between his teeth before turning to the doctor. “Ah- can… so- is there anything I should know or do- or…”
“Well, there’s not much you can do right now, but you’re eager. That’s always good. They say that the willingness to learn is more important than what you learn, you know.” The pictures began printing, and she leaned back to prop her hands on her knees to flash me a pointed look. “I hope you’re not working like a mad woman.”
“No- no. I’m not. Ryan’s been a huge help. We’re supposed to open the restaurant half of my place in a few weeks- will you take some time to stop by?” She scoffed, a playful smile on her face, and I ran my hands through my hair absently.
“Not on the first day, no- It’ll be insane, and you shouldn’t expect anything less than crazy, Gwen. I’ll definitely make time for it, though.” Smiling sheepishly, I ducked my head in a nod, and I threw my legs over the side of the exam table. Ripping the long stream of shots off the printer, she folded them into neat squares, and Ryan helped me down before taking them. Stretching my arms taut above my head, I arched until my shoulders popped, and a soft groan escaped my lips. “So, I’ll see you in a month, and every time after that will be every two weeks until you reach 7 months- then, it’ll be every week until you give birth, Gwen.”
“Okay- yeah. Thank you.”
Within the time it took to blink, Ryan and I were suddenly in his car, and I sunk into the seat to heave a few, stabilizing breaths. He stared down at the pictures, a small smile on his face, and guilt struck my chest. I still didn’t understand what in the hell possessed me to tell him it wasn’t his.
Then again, I hadn’t expected him to be so enthusiastic about my being pregnant. I thought he’d take a little time to think about the implications, at the very least. He just… accepted it, and that was undoubtedly more terrifying than anything else.
Because he could realize that it was too much, and he could leave with some justification- no matter how twisted.
“He’s amazing- you’re amazing, Gwen.” Speaking up suddenly, Ryan shot me the sweetest smile, and my throat closed as my mouth quirked weakly. “We should celebrate.”
“Celebrate what?” He’s so friggen good- just say it. Just say ‘I lied’ and deal with it like a big girl. Don’t be a wimp. But that simple phrase got stuck in my throat as Ryan stuck his key in the ignition, and the car revved to life. His expression turned thoughtful, and I licked my lips heavily as he rolled out of the parking space.
“Uh- let’s go to the casino and play in the arcade?” My brows rose at that, and Ryan smiled boyishly before turning onto the main street. “It’ll be fun. I haven’t been there in a while.”
“Yeah. Okay. I’ve never been to one, so it’s like… it’ll be an adventure.”
“You’ve never been to a casino? Seriously?” Giggling at the surprise in his voice, I nodded, and he frowned as he flexed his hands against the wheel. “Well, it’ll definitely be fun, then. I’ve never gone to one to gamble, exactly, but I love the arcades. They’re so much better than Chuck E. Cheese.”
“I remember… the judge was particularly infuriated that Craig was dragging out the divorce because of my restaurant. I refused to sell until afterwards, but I had a buyer lined up who was pretty sympathetic to me. That was seven years ago that I first found out, but I just spent three years or so collecting evidence. The thing that tipped me off and made me file was realizing how much I hated living in San Francisco. It was one thing to go there and put up with it because of school and work, but when I was able, I just wanted to start over.” My little tangent paused when I needed to breathe, and Ryan’s jaw ticked even though he kept his eyes on the road. “My ex-husband wasn’t a loser, even if he was other things. After the first year, I just figured it out, I guess… he wanted to hurt me, and the way to do that was attack my restaurant- and that meant stealing it.”
“… He abused you…?” My palms held my swollen belly as Ryan ground the question out, and the blood drained from my face. “You- you can tell me. Maybe… not while I’m driving… but you can tell me, Gwen.”
“Yeah…” His cheek twitched at my acknowledgment- that he was right, or that I knew I could rely on him, even I wasn’t sure. Rubbing my bump, I sucked up a sharp breath through my nose and exhaled through my mouth before speaking up. “Can we pull over somewhere?”
“No.” Exhaling heavily, Ryan stopped at a light to cast me a wry glance, but the darkness in his gaze didn’t dim. “The last time we did that, I had to reupholster my seat and get the floors re-padded. You’ll just have to wait until later to wash away this conversation with my cum.”
“This is different…”
“Really?” Blushing furiously at the skepticism in Ryan’s tone, I glared down at my lap as I silently cursed myself. Reaching over the center console, he grabbed my hand to squeeze, and I glanced over to find him smiling tenderly. “Sex doesn’t solve everything, and while I am always more than willing, Gwen… there’s a better way this time. Not to say that I won’t fuck you later, of course.”
“Mm- of course.” Rolling my lips between my teeth, I reached to tuck my hair behind my ear before glancing out the window. The building began to slide backwards, and I licked my lips heavily as Ryan left my hand to put his back on the wheel. “You don’t deserve this.”
“That’s just what people say to make themselves feel worse about a situation. Why don’t I deserve this? I just saw my baby-“ My breath hitched harshly as my throat closed, and Ryan cleared his roughly when his voice cracked with emotion. Refusing to look away from the window, I flexed my toes as a throbbing pain built up in my legs. “No matter what you said, he’s mine. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again- I don’t give a fuck about the genetics. You can’t be a dad if you’re not going to take responsibility, and let’s face it, Gwen- what happened with whoever you were with, he wouldn’t take responsibility. Your birth control failed, which means that in some twisted way, you’re at fault. This is no one’s fault, baby.”
“… Thomas was really mad.” Desperately trying to change the subject, I blew out a hot breath, and Ryan grunted absently. My chest tightened, and I could still picture Thomas’ blowout when I blinked. “I feel so bad for making him go through this- making him feel this way.”
“At some point, Gwen, it stops being because of you being a workaholic that’s six years older than him, and it becomes his inability to change and grow.”
“You just have an answer for everything, don’t you…?” Chuckling as we merged onto the highway ramp, Ryan shook his head when I turned to face him. Smiling faulty, I inhaled a warm breath to sigh; the Spring weather wasn’t so bad today that we needed to open the windows. Despite the conversation, a worm of giddiness dug into my chest at the notion of how close Summer was.
Summer was my favorite season.
“The point is that Thomas needs to grow up and stop blaming his faults on everyone else. I mean- to a point, your childhood shapes who you are, right, but he’s just using a minor inconvenience as a crutch. He’s been complaining about you since we met, and I got sick of it a long time ago. He doesn’t even know I’m back, yet. I told him I wouldn’t be home until Monday.” Surprise lifted my brows, and Ryan shrugged carelessly without taking his eyes off the road as we accelerated. “I wanted to spend time with you. He’s my best friend and all, but our friendship was really getting rocky even before you came back…”
Ryan
“Mr. Shaw- can I have your autograph?” Twisting at the call, I smiled politely as a stereotypical, middle-aged woman came fast-walking towards me. “I love you on Selfless & Reckless.”
“Thank you.” Taking the pad and pen as she beamed at me brightly, I half-expected the stranger to just go on a tangent about how awesome I was. She just watched, overly interested in my arms, and I handed her back her things to smile. “I hope you’re excited for the next season.”
“I am! Thank you- I’m sorry for interrupting your date.” And, with that, she flicked back her streaked bob and walked off, and I grabbed Gwen’s hand again to shoot her a grin. Continuing our leisure walk through the casino, I couldn’t help but chuckle at how mystified she was.
“What were you expecting, Gwen? Tears and furious hand-shaking and stumbling over herself?” Nodding, unabashed, Gwen turned red, and I laced our fingers together as a chuckle escaped me. “No- the adults are usually pretty okay. There was this one time, this super old lady’s family came to the set and asked the director- like, I guess she was going to be put in hospice to die peacefully, and she wanted to visit the set and meet the cast more than anything. She cried- but, even then, it wasn’t, like, hysterical. She was sweet- she made us brownies, and they were delicious. Two days later, she died, but at least she got her wish.”
“I used to get a lot of requests to my bakery from people from the children’s hospitals in California. Even Nevada, and Oregon, and a couple other places. I had to make up special menus because it was so often- at least twice a month, I’d get an order. I ended up doing this thing where if you bought the package- it was, like, $150- you’d get the cake and a punch card for seven free meals at my restaurant. I also started doing take away specifically for hospitals in the area. The last year that I was open, I hired some delivery drivers to make deliveries there. The nurses and people that I knew threw me a party when I finally got divorced and sold.”
“That’s really nice of you to do that, Gwen.” Smiling wider, Gwen ducked her head, and affection burrowed deep in my heart. “See- it wasn’t all bad in San Francisco.”
“Yeah, I know. I was always at work because I didn’t want to be home, right, so I noticed that a lot of people that came in were at the hospital- some of them, for a long time, or for something really bad. I made the punch card thing out because there was this one girl whose kid sister was in the hospital for lymphoma. She’d almost always forget her wallet, run back, grab it, order, then sit in the corner and cry for hours. Anyone that I saw on a regular basis because of the hospitals got one. I’d already being doing the cake package thing, but, like… these people shouldn’t be worrying about food or money. They should be worrying about their loved ones.”
This was the first time that Gwen mentioned her home life and didn’t just deflate like a sad balloon, and my smile tenderized right between my cheeks. Her eyes sparkled with pride and sympathy, memories, and I tore my gaze off her to glance at the cobbled floor.
; “Sometimes, I wish that I could do something like that- more than just throwing money at a charity, but actually impact my community. I hate that it gets twisted into being a publicity stunt, or that I’m made out to be exceptional because I did an act of basic kindness.” We took a turn, and I saw the sign for the arcade as I blew out a hot breath. “So, anyway- what happened to your old restaurant, do you know?”
“Oh, it went under within six months.” Barking out a loud laugh at the flippant declaration, I paused to grab my chest as Gwen blushed furiously. Mirth clung to my ribs, and I crouched as it leaked from my mouth boisterously. “What? The couple was nice about my situation, but they were really not prepared… my place was booming, and it was too much for them.”
“I’m- I’m sorry- I j-…” Sputtering as I struggled to breathe, I stood up to rake my free hand through my hair roughly. Huffing softly at the embarrassment and genuine confusion in her eyes, I tugged her to my side to wrap my arm around her shoulders. “It’s just- you love cooking, so you’d think that you’d also love your restaurant and be a little sad that it’s no longer.”
“O- oh… um- I mean, it’s not like I don’t care… I just- I do have my new place, and it’s not so much the restaurant that I love- it’s actually really stressful- but I really just love cooking and baking and stuff.” Leaning down to kiss Gwen’s cheek, I cut off her fumbling for an answer, and she sighed harshly. “I do care, but people need to know what they’re getting into. It’s not easy.”
“You’re so impressive.” The compliment earned me a giggle, and I kissed down her jaw to nibble the crest of her ear. “What do you say we take a detour?”