“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know I like her. I’m aware she’s been through stuff I’ll never understand. I also know she has no one, so I’m not in this to fuck it up.”
“Good.”
“What about Liv? Where you at with her?” he returns, and I smile to myself.
“I’ve told her where we’re at, now she just needs to get her head on right,” I offer.
“So you didn’t speak soft, you didn’t go in calm and slow and ask for some of her time? You bulldozed your way in…”
“You think she’d expect anything different from me? You think if I pussyfooted around her she’d think I was serious?”
“Point made,” he concedes. “So what’s your plan?”
“Well, I need to make a statement to her. To the family. One week I said, so next Saturday at Mum’s birthday.”
“Is that really the place to do it?”
I shrug even though he can’t see it. “Our family loves us. If they see fit to be angry or go against this, then I don’t need them in my life. Mum and Dad know how I feel, they support us. Uncle Dane and Aunt Libby are gone now, no one’s looking to lose more family.”
“True.”
“Right, I have to go. When you see Shelly later, pretend you like scones, okay?”
“Erm, sure,” Toby answers confused.
“Later,” I return and cut the call.
I’m giving Via her week. I’m hoping she asks me any questions she wants answers to, but either way, next weekend I’m claiming her for good, forever.
LIV
“So, pizza?” Helena asks walking through the door.
“Mmm… smells lush,” I reply as my tummy groans in agreement.
We sit side by side on the sofa and scoff through the whole large Hawaiian pizza and obsess over two episodes of Sons of Anarchy before I can’t take the tension anymore.
“Okay, spill,” I spit out turning to face her.
“What?” she asks wincing.
“We both know you’re here to tell me something, you’re moving in with Noah, right?”
Helena crinkles up her nose. “Yeah,” she mutters.
I pull her body into mine giving her a hug. “It’s okay,” I whisper before pulling back.
“I thought you’d be pissed at me.”
“Why?”
“Because… I don’t know.” She shrugs
“You’re a nutcase.”
We both giggle, and the tension dissipates.
“You can afford this place by yourself? If not, I can stay until you find another roommate,” she offers.
“No. I can afford it.” I smile.
“Good.” Helena takes a sip of her lemonade and smiles. “So, what’s new in your life?”
“Isaac’s back,” I blurt out the words. Since his visit last night, or more precisely the early hours of this morning—after which I had little sleep—my brain has been on overdrive.
“What?” she exhales.
I nod. “Yeah.”
“How… what… explain!”
I grin, but it quickly drops off. “He wants me back, but I’m not sure I can ride that rollercoaster, not again.”
“Don’t dismiss him, babe. There may be plausible reasons for all of his behaviour.”
I purse my lips, but say nothing in response.
“More SOA?” she asks, and I nod.
I need to forget about him, at least for now.
The music swallows me up, and I close my eyes while Sia sings ‘Elastic Heart,’ the movements I make are emotion filled, and I want to cry. I want to believe him… but how can I? Spinning, I suddenly lose my footing and fall.
“Liv!” Toby shouts, rushing from the bench he was sitting on across the room. “Shit, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I say standing up and brushing myself down.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he urges, grabbing my wrist.
“You know what,” I say ripping my arm free.
“Isaac?”
“Obviously,” I snark.
“You know he’s back for good, right?” he states.
My breath catches and my chest aches. “No, I didn’t.”
“Did you ask him?”
I shake my head looking away from the judgement shining in his eyes.
“Did you ask him anything?”
“No,” I groan.
“Oh, Liv. He told you to ask whatever you wanted and yet you’ve not had one question?”
I sink back down to the floor and cross my legs like a school child. “I didn’t want to wonder if he was going to be honest or not. He’s broken my heart twice now, Toby. I won’t survive a third time,” I admit.
“I get it,” he says, and I look up as he lowers himself to sit opposite me, his legs out straight in front of him. “I do, honestly.”
I smile sadly but say no more. Since I’ve seen Isaac, he’s been the only thing on my mind. This visit hasn’t left room in my head for processing much else, not even enough to text him one single damn question.
“Ask me.”
“Huh?” I rub my eyes, deflation making my body droop.
“What do you want to know? I’ll try and answer if I can. But I have to let you know that I will tell Isaac later. I’m not giving you answers to drop him in it. I’m giving them so you can hopefully see how much he loves you.”
“He loves me?”
“Oh, come on, Liv, you know he does.”
I nod. “Okay, what I mean is, he loves me enough?”
“Enough for what?” he questions, a frown appearing across his forehead.
“To be honest? With me, with our family… with himself?”
“Yep.”
“Okay.” I want to believe it to be true, but Isaac has never been keen to talk to our family about the two of us, and on top of that, it took him years to admit how he felt about me.
Toby sighs. “I can’t make you see the truth, you just have to have a little faith… you have to believe in him.”
His words hit home. I once believed his words. For years he could have told me the sky was animated—put there to convince us of our earthly existence—and I would have taken his words as gospel. He broke my faith and my trust, and now I don’t even know if I can even believe in myself.
“What’s really going on with Shelly and him?”
Toby’s face changes, jealousy clouds his eyes, and I frown. “He loves her like a little sister. She has no family, and she’s been one of his team members for years.”
“Team members,” I murmur, pinching my bottom lip between my finger and thumb.
“Yeah. You know he was Black Ops, right?” The confusion must be obvious because Toby sighs. “Okay, let me start from the beginning. I pray that Isaac doesn’t break my neck for this.”
Pulling my arms around myself, I hold my body, needing a little comfort.
“When Isaac beat up Charlie, your old boyfriend, he went to prison.”
I nod, knowing that story well.
“He was offered a place on a Black Ops team. It was a deal he was given.”
“A deal?” I question.
“That’s right. You see he came back for your birthday, but he was going to join Black Ops anyway. When he got charged and arrested, it put a spanner in the works. Your boyfriend, Charlie, the one going to the local university and seemingly living normally with three other guys in that house… yeah, not only was he a little prick, but he was the son of a bigger prick, some foreign dignitary.”
“Oh my God!” I gasp, my hand automatically shooting to cover my mouth. “He never talked about his family,” I mumble through my fingers.
Toby shrugs. “Isaac signed up like he had always planned, they had headhunted him so no matter what he had done, they still wanted him. But there were two conditions.”
“Which were?”
Toby rubs his forehead and sighs. “He had to go overseas, away from his family and commit completely to his team and his handler,” he pauses an
d stares at me, looking for something—a crack maybe?
“And two?” I push.
“He wasn’t allowed to have any contact with you. None.”
All the air leaves my lungs, and I choke and cough trying to breathe. It’s like someone has poked me with a cattle prod, and at the same time, I feel like I’m in a beautiful dream.
He never hated me.
He never hated me.
I can’t stop the tears as the swell of emotion attacks me.
“Why?” I brokenly ask.
“Charlie was a dick, even after Isaac nearly killed him. He was threatening to come back, to force himself into your life again. Isaac had only one demand of his own before joining the team, which was your safety. Charlie had to stay away, but in turn, Charlie insisted that the only way he would agree, was if Isaac had no contact with you either. It was spiteful, but I guess lying in traction unable to move can make a guy bitter. So he communicated that little nugget. His dad made it so.”
My shoulders shake as the rest of my body trembles.
“He wasn’t avoiding me?”
“No, sweetheart. He wasn’t avoiding you. He made me keep him up to date with everything that was you throughout all the years.”
“Toby...” my voice breaks as my heart shatters with my pain, Isaac’s pain, our love, and the resolution that’s just settled in my heart, “… he left again after he rescued me,” I say through the river of tears.
“Yeah, he wanted out of Black Ops. He wanted to give you a normal life, Liv, a good, clean life. The only way they would let him out after you were kidnapped was to take him away again. He had to do things, stuff he won’t talk to me about. But now he’s out, and he’s come back… for you.”
“For me.”
“For you, Liv. All for you.”
“He said I have a week to get my head straight. That was Saturday… it’s Wednesday now. I have to ask, did he send you Toby?”
“No, Liv. But I love you, and I love my brother. His love for you is bigger than everything else to him. You’re more important to Isaac than even his own life. I just want to help if I can,” he explains with an offhand shrug.
“You have… really. I need to go and think about everything,” I say standing and grabbing my bag.
“I understand. Go and do your thing, but Liv?” Toby says still sitting on the floor. I turn back to look at him. “Make the right decision.”
I turn and walk out, my mind a complete jumble.
ISAAC
“Happy birthday, Mum,” I say, leaning in and kissing her cheek.
“My boy, my eldest. The best present I’ve had this birthday is you coming home,” her voice trembles with emotion.
I turn her toward my dad, and he smiles at me over her shoulder. I talked to him this week. Explained what I was going to do tonight. My parents have always supported me, no matter how scared, unsure, or against it they were.
The venue for tonight is the local town hall. It’s an old building with high ceilings and ornate décor. The hall is big and up on the stage is a DJ booth with two microphones for karaoke. There are a lot of people here tonight—family, friends, and well-wishers—all to help celebrate Mum’s birthday. Toby and Shelly sit at one of the tables chatting away. I hope like fuck they can make this work. Helena and Noah are dancing, and I wonder where Via is. I would have expected her to arrive with Helena or even Toby. Aunt Pea and Uncle Con are here, too, so she’s not arriving with them.
Frowning, I reach into my inside pocket feeling for my phone and bringing it out as I head for the door leading to the gardens out back. Just as I step outside and bring the phone to my ear, I hear her—Via. She’s singing. Her voice rises above everything and everyone, or maybe they’ve all gone quiet, surprised at her tone. She’s magnificent, but then I already knew she could sing. The first few words ring out, and I place the song—Alicia Keys ‘If I Ain’t Got You.’ Everything stills around me, and all I can hear is my heart beating and her voice. “Fuck me,” I murmur, my words catching in the middle.
Cutting the call, I slip the phone back in my pocket and stiffly walk back inside. Everyone is still like they’ve been frozen in time, but as I take a quick glance around, I see the amazement on their faces and the tears in the eyes of some, especially her mum. My eyes move back to Via, and I realise she’s singing to me. There must be a hundred people in this room, but her eyes are only for me.
I had this whole thing planned. I wanted to make a grand gesture. She’s fucked up my statement in the most perfect way possible. With every word, she explains how she feels about me, and that, coupled with her voice, only makes me want to hold her—to be the man she thinks I am.
The song finishes, but her eyes don’t leave mine. Applause roars all around me, but I don’t move my eyes from her. She blinks, seeming to come out of her haze, then stepping back, she bumps into a stool, and I lose her eyes. Before she can escape completely off stage, I jump the four feet up to the platform and grab the mic.
“I can’t sing,” I state, and I watch her back as she retreats. At my words, she freezes, the tenseness in her body keeps her spine rod like. I continue talking, looking at her rather than the audience who are still silently waiting for my revelation. “I’ll never be able to bless your ears with a perfect rendition of ‘Your Guardian Angel’” by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.” My eyes move to the crowd.
“For those of you not familiar, you should listen to that song. And for Via…” I say moving my eyes back to her. “You should know my heart is in those words, that song… I swear it was written to explain how I feel about you, baby.”
She still doesn’t turn to me, so I once again look at my audience wondering what reaction I’m receiving from my family. Apart from a couple of surprised-looking faces, no one seems angry. “The thing is, I’ve loved Via forever. Not one day in my life has passed without her being on my mind, in my heart, and my reason for getting through the day.” I hear a quiet sob and look back to Via. She’s facing me now and even with the constant trail of tears, she’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“I’ve lived my whole life for you. I know Toby told you, and I can’t talk about it here…” I say gesturing to the room, “… but I don’t regret a single action I took. I’ll always protect you, I’ll always put you first, and I’ll always love you. You’re my forever, for always.”
Dropping the mic, I take a tentative step toward her. “I know you have a wall built up now, and it’s of my own creation, but I can promise you, Via, the pain I caused you, I’ve felt it to my bones probably ten times worse than you, and I’m sorry.”
Moving another step, I bring my hand up to her face rubbing the back of my hand down her cheek, wiping away the tears. “I’m sorry. Forgive me, baby,” I whisper. I need her to decide, it has to come from her.
Via looks up at me, her long lashes sprinkled with tears and her face blotchy from crying. Slowly she tells me her answer. Leaning into me, going up on tiptoes, she presses her soft, parted lips against mine. My heart bursts as though flames lick through my insides, and I want to cry with happiness. I yearn to pull her to me, to devour her, but I’m mindful of where we are, so reluctantly I pull away.
“I know we have a lot to talk about, but I’m all in, baby. It’s you and me, Via. Tell me you’re all in, too,” I whisper to her, our eyes locked, and our faces nearly touching.
“I’m all in, Isaac.” She gives me the sweetest four words I’ve ever heard, and my chest swells.
LIV
“Come on,” Isaac says grabbing my hand as I get out of his car. The party tonight has changed my life, but I’m scared to believe it’s real, I keep thinking I’ll wake up at any minute, home and alone. I slip my hand into his, and he squeezes it. Following him toward his front door, my mind catches up, and I stop, tugging back on his hold. “Via?”
“Is, is Shelly in there?” I hold up my other hand before he answers. “Look, I know you’re just friends, well more like family, and I like her
, but this is our first night, and it needs to be just you and me tonight. My place is empty,” I explain.
“Shelly’s with Toby tonight. I made sure we’d be alone.” He smiles down at me.
I raise my eyebrow. “Thinking you were going to get lucky?” I tease.
Since he told the whole party how he felt about me, we haven’t had much time to talk, but I’m not sure we have much to clear up now. From what Toby told me coupled with Isaac’s honesty, I think I know all I need to.
Tonight we’ve danced, we’ve kissed, we’ve behaved like a normal couple and all the years, all the pain, all the misunderstandings have melted away. I know there will always be more to discuss, more to communicate and to be sure of, but not tonight… tonight I want to communicate with him in an altogether different way.
Isaac stops at my words and hooks me under my armpits, lifting me up and turning, pinning me to the wall next to the door. Holding me up like this means our heads are level, and as he stares directly into my eyes, his lips moan against mine. “Tonight, tomorrow, the rest of my life… I’m already lucky.”
“I love your soft talk, baby, I do.” Pushing our mouths even closer, I’m touching my lips to his, so every word I utter he feels. “But right now, I want more than soft, I want hard,” I tell him smiling.
I wait a beat feeling his breath on my mouth, the movement of his chest against my own.
“Fuck, yeah,” he murmurs, and suddenly throwing me up in the air, his hands pull away from my armpits, and he places them under my arse drawing me back tight to him. He nuzzles my throat kissing and biting. “Fuck, yeah, I’ll give you hard.” The desire ramps up and his mouth is on mine, plundering, loving, owning me. I can feel the brickwork of the wall scratching my back and digging into my shoulder blades, but the sting only adds to the desire I already feel.
His tongue sweeps inside and connects with mine—the touch is like an electric spark which shoots straight between my legs. One of his hands travel from my arse, up my side, and he grips the back of my neck, pulling me closer, fusing our mouths together as though I’m his life force. I feel him move as we kiss, and my back is pulled away from the wall. I take a split second to wonder how he’s navigating us while kissing me, but I just don’t care enough to think the answer through. Absently I hear a click, and we’re moving again. Then there’s the slam of a door, and after a few more steps we start rising. I drag my lips from his. “Where are we going?” I pant out.
Twisted Truth (Truth Vs Lie Book 1) Page 20