I knew I could trust Brad. He was my best friend. I just didn’t know how much I wanted to say out loud. It had been a month since that day in my office, and in that time I’d developed deep feelings for Shane. Deeper than I could admit to myself.
But I had to talk to someone, and it really needed to be the whole truth. “He is … perfect, I mean. I’ve never met anyone in my life I’m more compatible with, and not just sexually. There’s something about the way his mind works. I’m not sure how to put it, but …”
“It fits perfectly with yours?” Brad asked as he stared into the flames that danced along the brick walls of the fireplace in my study. He was leaning against the mantle, and I was sitting behind him, but from my angle I could see the way he gazed at the fire, like he’d been exactly where I am now and knew what I was going through.
But of course he had. He’d been in love, I knew that about him. And that was what I’d invited him here for, wasn’t it? To talk about the fact that I was in love with one of my students. I’d had him over for dinner for the company, that was true. But I also needed advice.
“Exactly,” I said, taking another sip of my drink. “It’s like we’re two pieces of a puzzle that fit together seamlessly. I honestly thought it was over for me, that Danny would be my one and only great love. I couldn’t fathom that I’d meet someone who was as compatible with me as he was, not at my age.”
“Oh, come on, Austin. You’re what, forty? You’re not exactly an old man.”
“I’m Forty-two. But you know how hard it is to meet people as you get older? People who share your interests, but who aren’t damaged in some way. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to a meet-up and left almost immediately because it was the same emotionally and mentally stunted subs showing up time and time again.
“After Danny left I was shattered. I saw what was available at local meet-ups here and there and none of those subs have been even remotely interesting to me. I need to be able to connect emotionally, physically, and intellectually or it’s just not worth it. I’d rather be alone.” Brad turned his head and looked at me and I sighed and shook my head. “I know that makes me sound incredibly arrogant, but I know what I want. I just never thought I’d find it.”
“And now you have,” Brad said, a smile spreading across his face as he turned all the way around and leaned his back against the mantle. “What are you so afraid of? And don’t tell me it’s losing your job, because I don’t buy it. Things have changed. People aren’t as close-minded as they used to be. And if they would fire you for a consensual relationship that’s ludicrous.”
“But this is education. People get whipped up into a frenzy when they think their children are being taught by a pervert. And let me tell you, those people have a very loose definition of pervert. Having sex outside of marriage falls into that category for a whole lot of very vocal individuals, and they seem to have a lot of sway when it comes to how companies, and colleges, do business. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. If you’re talking about what I do in the privacy of my own bedroom, that’s so far out in left field that some of these people would think I’m the devil. So if it got out that the pervert in question was actually having a relationship with one of their students? It just wouldn’t look good at all. Not for me or for the University.”
“Have you talked to the dean? Do you know for sure they’d have a problem with this relationship? I mean, your sub is a consenting adult for chrissake. He’s not a child.”
“I haven’t.”
“But you’re thinking about it, right? Tell me you’re not going to let this sub slip through your fingers over some job.”
“That’s the thing, Brad. It’s not just a job, this is my whole career we’re talking about.”
“But he’s also not just a sub. You just told me how hard it is to find someone that fits with you as perfectly as he does. I can’t for the life of me fathom how you could let anything come between that.”
I stared at my glass for a long time. I knew what Brad was saying was true. But I didn’t just know it, I felt it. It had only been four short weeks but I already couldn’t imagine my life without Shane. I wanted him here with me all the time. I wanted to take care of him and our baby. I couldn’t let this happen again. I couldn’t let the love of my life slip away.
“You’re right. I think I just needed to hear someone else say out loud what I’ve been thinking. I’ve had this same argument going around and around in my head, and, in the end, I’ve always come to the same conclusion.”
“What’s that?”
“That I would be willing to give up everything for Shane. I just didn’t know if I was thinking like an insane person.”
Brad sat down on the chair next to mine and put his hand on my knee. “Love doesn’t come knocking on your door every day, Austin. If I found someone who fit as well with me as Shane does with you, I’d hold onto him and I’d never let go. If they fire you, you can find another job. Who’d wanna work at a stodgy old university with antiquated rules like that anyway,” he said with a laugh.
I looked up at Brad and finally found it in me to smile. I knew talking to him would help me see things more clearly. “You’re right. I’ll talk to my boss. It’ll be better than all the anxiety I’ve had with this sneaking around.”
Brad set his tumbler on the coffee table and stood up. “I should get going. I have an early day tomorrow. Let me know how this plays out. I’m hoping for the best for both of you.”
Brad shook my hand, then pulled me in for a hug. After I closed the door and headed back to my study I had a sudden impulse to call the dean of the literature department right then. I checked my watch. Nine-forty-five. It wasn’t too late. I’d seen the lights burning in his office past ten p.m. before, so I figured I might as well give it a shot.
“Garrett, it’s Austin.”
“Well, hello. What’s possessed you to call me this late?”
“I hope I’m not disturbing you.”
“No, of course not. I’m here in my office, as usual. Reading essays until the wee hours, and considering holding my eyes open with toothpicks. I could use a break. What’s on your mind?”
“Well, I’d like to talk to you about one of my students…”
I had told Shane to come over that evening, and at eleven p.m. I heard the doorbell.
“How would you feel about moving in here?” I asked before the front door was even closed. Shane stood there in the foyer completely frozen, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open, and his jacket half on and half off.
“Are you serious? But … but … what about your job …”
“I talked to the Dean. Apparently, I’m not the first instructor whose approached him about this topic. He said the rules in the university handbook are ancient, but they haven’t been rewritten because they don’t particularly want it in print that they endorse these sorts of things. He said that if we were discreet, and if you were not in any of my classes in the future, he would have no problem with our relationship.”
“Did you tell him I’m pregnant?”
“I did. I don’t want to keep anything a secret,” I said pulling Shane’s body against mine and pushing my hand up into his hair. “Not anymore.”
“Well, that’s good, because I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this disguised,” Shane said, leaning back and slipping his hands over his belly. “I’ve been worrying about eating too much, but I just can’t control myself. I’m ravenous from the moment I wake up until the minute my head hits the pillow.”
“Well, luckily the summer semester will be over soon. But regardless, I’m going to do everything within my power to make sure you get any food you could possibly wish for from now on. Just name it, and it’s yours.”
I held Shane’s head in my hands and brought my lips down to his. And suddenly everything felt right. All of the tension that had been swirling around inside me was gone. I was free. We both were. We didn’t have to sneak around or lie or worry about what anyo
ne else thought. We could be exactly who and what we wanted to be, without worrying that we were breaking some arbitrary rule.
“I love you,” I said, slowly kissing my way up Shane’s cheek to his forehead. “I love everything about you, Shane. I’ve never met anyone as perfect as you are.” I kissed my way back down the other side of Shane’s face and when I pulled back to look into his eyes I saw that they were glassy.
“I love you too,” he said, his voice shaking. I watched as a single tear fell down his cheek and I caught it with my tongue. Even his tears tasted perfect. “I never thought someone like you would say that about someone like me.”
I raised an eyebrow and smiled. “I think you’ve seriously underestimated how amazing you are. You are an incredible young man and I’m lucky to have found you. I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you that, and now that I found you I don’t ever want to let you go.” I kissed Shane on the lips one more time, then took a step backward. “And, if I ever hear you talk about yourself that way again I’m going to have to punish you. In fact, I think it’s about time we made some rules.”
“Rules?” Shane asked, his eyes lighting up. “Rules for what?”
“Rules for what is allowed. We haven’t really discussed the separation between our regular life and our play time. I’d like it if we made things a little more concrete, maybe even in some form of contract.”
“Are there things you want that I’m not doing?” he asked, concern filling his eyes.
“Not exactly. But you weren’t living here before. If we’re going to be around each other every day, sometimes twenty-four hours a day, I think we need to discuss how that’s going to play out. Have you ever thought about a two-four-seven relationship?”
“I think so. Is that where I would be your submissive or servant all day and night, every single day?”
“Yes. Or any variation we agree on. It all depends on what we both want and need. We’d work out the details together. Is that something you’d be interested in?”
Shane looked down at the floor for a moment, then back up into my eyes. “I don’t know if I’d be good enough, but I’d really like to give it a try.”
“We could start with one day out of the week where you belong completely and totally to me. You don’t perform any actions on your own unless I tell you to do them. You wake me when I tell you to. You wear the clothes I lay out for you. You stay near me and follow through with any orders or commands I give you. Then the rest of the week you’re a free agent, until we’re playing again. How does that sound?”
“It sounds exciting,” Shane said with a big smile. “When do we start?”
“I say we start now.”
Chapter 11
Shane
After a month of living with Austin and giving myself completely and totally to him for one day a week we decided to make it permanent. It was something I’d thought about many times over the last few years, but I had no way to articulate to myself what it was that I wanted. Not until Austin showed me.
I knew this sort of relationship existed. I’d read about it online in forums and articles. It sounded interesting to me, but all I really ever pictured was sex happening twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I didn’t completely understand the role mentoring played in the relationships. And maybe it wasn’t that way for some people. Maybe the relationships I read about really were focused primarily on sex acts. But I had no way of knowing until I experienced one day a week of submitting myself to Sir.
I’d taken to calling him Sir early on, and I liked the way it felt. It was similar to Professor Dylan in that it showed him how much I respected him, but it was way more personal. But in my head I had actually taken to calling him Austin. Not all the time. Some days I could only think of him as Sir, but other days I loved thinking his name to myself and savoring the way each syllable sounded. Days when we were laying around on Sunday morning reading the paper in bed—an old-school habit of his that made me feel so cozy and secure. In those moments it would feel like we were an old married couple.
But that sort of thing happened only once a week, which is what made it special. Everything we did together was special, though. Sometimes I felt guilty because Austin seemed to put so much thought into everything we did. He always seemed to have things planned ahead and orchestrated so perfectly. Especially for the days when I belonged completely and totally to him.
No matter what he had me do—from making him a drink when he got home in the evening, to kneeling in front of him while I made myself come by riding a dildo, to sucking his cock until he was milked dry—I was happy in the acts of being used, but also safe and secure knowing I was being taken care of by my master.
What I eventually realized was that I was doing the exact same thing for him. I was taking care of his needs just as much as he was taking care of mine. We were there for each other, and we were giving each other exactly what we needed.
I was four months along when Austin told me he had a surprise for me. It was a Saturday, so Sir was at home all day. My orders for that day were to stay upstairs and read one of the books on a list of classics he’d given me. Most of them were fairly obscure, and since the summer semester was over and I had no homework to worry about, I was thrilled to work my way through the list. But what I couldn’t understand was why he didn’t want me on the main floor of the house. But I did as I was told. I curled up in my favorite window seat, and between chapters watched the raindrops make trails down the old, warped glass in the antique window.
When Austin finally came up to get me he led me to our bedroom where he had laid out a beautiful new suit for me to wear. He watched me shower and get dressed, and after I was ready, he led me downstairs. When we got to the dining room he opened the door and I couldn’t believe how beautiful everything looked. He’d decorated the room with dozens of bouquets of peonies and roses, and scattered candlesticks and candelabras all throughout the room. A fire was burning in the fireplace and the lights were off, so the room was dim, and it sparkled with candlelight.
The long dining room table was filled with dome-covered plates and platters. Everything looked so fancy and elegant, but I wasn’t sure why. This wasn’t an anniversary or birthday. But by the look in Austin’s eyes this was a very special night.
After we sat down, he presented me with a black velvet case, but he didn’t give it to me. He held it and stared into my eyes. “Shane,” he said, taking one of my hands in his. “I want you to be mine forever, you know that, don’t you?“
“Yes,” I said, still wondering what this was all about. The box was too big to be made for a ring, but I couldn’t figure out what else he would be giving me.
Austin pulled back the top of the case, and inside, wrapped around a slightly raised area—like for a choker—was a thin, black collar. “Have you ever heard of a collaring ceremony?”
“No,” I said, feeling slightly foolish. I’d read a lot about BDSM relationships, but this was something I hadn’t come across.
“The collar is a symbol of our bond, and of the generous gift you have given me. The gift of yourself.”
I slipped my hand out of his and took the box, then fumbled to pick up the collar. My hands were shaking as I held the simple black leather band in front of me. It had two silver rings on each end and a heart-shaped padlock with a hole for a key on one side. I turned the lock over and on the other side the initials S & A were inscribed in scrolled letters. “It’s beautiful,” I said, tears filling my eyes.
“Will you do me the honor of wearing it?” Austin asked. “Always?”
I didn’t know what to say at first. I’d dreamt of a moment like this, but with traditional rings and maybe even a wedding. This was such a surprise. It was so unique and special. It was everything I’d ever wished for, but didn’t know I wanted. Austin showed me a different way of bonding, and of seeing the world. He was always giving me something from his heart and his soul, and this collar was no different. It was a part of him and I wanted to wear i
t proudly. “Yes,” I said, setting the box down on the table and jumping into his lap. Then I threw my arms around Austin’s neck and kissed him.
“If you were hoping for a formal ceremony we can do that too,” Austin said, nuzzling my neck with his lips.
“I’ve thought about a wedding in the past, but I’m not sure if I want that anymore. I just want to be with you. That’s really all I care about.”
Austin looked into my eyes and kissed me one more time. “I think it’s time we eat dinner,” he said, his hard cock pressing into my ass cheeks. “You’re going to need your strength.”
It was incredibly hard for me to focus on eating when I knew something was coming. I didn’t know what it was exactly, but I figured it had to be pretty big. If Austin had planned the meal and the roses and candles in such detail, I was sure he had even bigger plans for how I was going to serve him afterwards, and all the different ways I would be tortured with pain and pleasure for the rest of the night. After a fabulous dessert of lemon cream pie, the anticipation was finally over.
“Stand up and remove your clothes,” he said in a low, commanding voice.
It didn’t take me more than a few seconds to get everything off, and there I stood, my hard cock poking out in front of me like some sort of divining rod. Austin looked me up and down, smiled, then picked up the box. He removed the collar, and stepped close to me, kissing me deeply as he wrapped it around my neck.
“Forever,” he said as he pulled both ends of the collar toward him.
“Forever,” I replied as his lips met mine.
Then he secured both ends of the collar with the padlock and put the key in his pocket.
“I’ll always have this on me, if we ever need to remove it.”
“I won’t,” I said, reaching up and fingering the soft leather. “I don’t ever want to take it off.”
Portville Summer Series: The Complete Collection Books 1-4: (MM Nonshifter Omegaverse) Page 26