"You can't go on like this!" Steve protested. "You're young, move on! The world is full of women!"
"But I'm empty," Martin replied. "Empty like a drum. Sometimes I even hear my heart beat. And pray it stops."
"Martin..." Steve was at loss with words.
"Forget it, Steve," Martin said.
His eyes were still on the hamburger but it was burning.
"You can't understand. You didn't give yourself to a woman for one year without realizing you got nothing in return. I exhausted all my energies, I don't have anything left to give. I've lost one year of my life and I feel so empty..."
His voice broke. It hurt everywhere.
He collapsed and curled up, trying to protect himself from his own feelings, deaf and blind to whatever happened outside of himself.
Why? What have I done to deserve this? Why am I hurting so much?
***
"Ernie, phone!" Johnny called.
Ernie picked up, it was his father. "Come home now, Ernie."
"The shop is full, Dad..."
"Come home now," his father repeated with the same tone.
Martin! Fear struck him without warning. "Coming!"
He hung up.
"I need to go home," he told Johnny rushing past him. "You tell the boss."
He went back trying to keep his panic under control. He found an ambulance out front, and they were bringing out someone on a gurney covered with a sheet.
Martin! He rushed to them, he had to see who was lying on the gurney.
Martin's face was still. He looked asleep, but was too pale.
Ernie's knees gave way, but his father promptly held him.
"Come in, Ernie," he said, helping him inside and up the stairs. "We can't help him anymore."
Ernie slumped on his bed. Why? someone screamed inside him. Why, goddamn it, why? He knew why, but it didn't make sense. An obsession couldn't be deadly.
He lay on his bed in mild state of shock for the rest of the day, staring at Martin's empty side of the room.
His parents asked him once if he wanted to eat something, then left him alone with his sorrow.
***
Ernie was startled to see Mary waiting for him outside the shop.
"What do you want?" he asked bluntly.
"I need to talk to you," she asked shyly.
"I'm listening."
"I need you, Ernie," she said hesitantly. "It never happened before, but I miss you. I never looked up someone who was history before. But this time it's different, Ernie, I... I think I've fallen in love with you."
Ernie frowned and considered her words carefully before speaking.
"Martin is dead," he said at last. "He died for you. And I don't want to see you again."
"I understand," she whispered, lowering her eyes. She didn't ask anything, nor added anything. She just left.
Ernie followed her with his eyes, feeling the lump in his throat. He had performed the miracle, but Martin wasn't there to see it.
***
"Ernie?" Marsha knocked on her son's open door.
Ernie sat on the bed, staring into space, but snapped back to reality when she called him.
"Can I help you?"
"Yes," he answered. "I have nobody to talk to." He stared at Martin's bed.
"You can talk to me," she said, going to sit near him and taking his hand.
"I know," he whispered, hanging his head. "Mom," he said then, "Mary came looking for me today. She says she loves me, Mom, what should I do?"
He stared at her, upset.
"Do what you feel like doing," she answered. "Think about yourself."
"But she was Martin's girlfriend..."
"Martin is gone, Ernie. He was weaker than what we thought."
"But they broke up because of me!"
"It was obviously not meant to be, Mary and him, I mean. Maybe his spirit infused Mary's heart with love for you."
"Do you think so?"
"Yes," she caressed his hair with a smile. "We won't wait for you to dine tonight, right?"
"Right," he relaxed. "Thank you, Mom."
He rushed downstairs.
Marsha dried her tears, but maybe she was crying in relief.
***
Mary looked outside of the window, thoughtful and sad. She had been stupid. Her icy heart had melted at the wrong time. Served her well.
The doorbell rang, startling her. She wasn't expecting anyone.
She got up and checked who it was. The sight of Ernie took her breath away.
She opened the door, still incredulous. He stepped in and opened his mouth, then closed it without a word. She couldn't take her eyes off of him.
He kissed her and she returned the kiss with a passion she had never felt before. He took her in his arms and put her on the bed as their eyes locked again.
They made love and this time Mary didn't remain passive. She explored her new sweet love as thoroughly as she could. And as they lay naked in each other's arms, she whispered in his ear, "Ernie, I love you".
Love and Prejudice
Kurt was bored. The luxurious ballroom filled with elegant guests such as himself had lost all appeal. Growing up in such an environment had made him blind to the display of wealth that would have awed anybody else. Anybody not of his status, of course.
He had always felt divided between his background and his actual wishes. Only heir of a rich empire, he was still unmarried at thirty because he felt women were after his money and not him. He didn't know what he actually wanted from marriage, he didn't know what to look for in a woman, he only knew he didn't want to have a life like his parents, who had lovers left and right but stayed together to offer the world their "perfect rich couple" image. He knew what was behind their masks, and didn't want it for himself.
"How is it going?" his best friend Brian asked. Blond and blue-eyed, he made a good contrast with dark haired Kurt. Both were the most sought after bachelors of the lot and women stared at them all over the ballroom. The younger even had hopeful, propitiatory smiles for both.
"I'm fed up with all this," Kurt answered.
"All our friends gave in to parents and peers' pressure... We're bound to get all the attention now!"
"We should come out of the closet." Kurt smiled against his will and chuckled at Brian's shocked look. "Just kidding! But it would take everyone off our backs."
"You mean we should say we're lovers?" Brian sounded skeptical. "But I do want to get married, eventually!"
"So do I, but not with any of the ladies here present today."
"Sooner or later you'll have to choose one of these beauties, just like me," Brian smiled.
"As long as I do the choosing, and not my father," Kurt grumbled.
"Then you better hurry, or he'll force you."
"I know, but not today," he sighed. "Listen, I'm leaving. I can't take anymore of this."
***
The limousine pulled over in front of the mall. Kurt got out. He wore casual clothes and looked like a common young man – if it weren't for the limo, that is.
Kurt stepped into the mall and strolled around, looking at shop windows and people. He reached the food hall and considered eating something. People-watching was his favorite pastime, but his stomach reminded him breakfast was long gone. The lines at fast-food counters were always interesting places, though, so he chose a takeaway sushi place, grabbed his tray and looked around for a free seat in the crowded food hall.
He saw a corner table for two with only one occupant, a girl. He headed for the free chair.
"Hello. May I sit here?"
She shrugged. "It’s not taken." Her tray had pizza and a soda on it.
"Thank you." He sat in front of her.
They both ate their food with smalltalk on the difference between Italian and Japanese food.
"Have you ever tried the real deal?" he asked.
"No," she answered. She stared at him, mildly curious. He liked the fact she kept eye contact. But she wasn'
t really responding either, as if she was wary to talk to a stranger. He couldn't blame her.
He told her a couple of anecdotes on his trips to Italy and Japan, and saw her guffaw once. But she didn't comment, and shook her head when he finished his stories.
"Any food stories?" he asked, hoping to get something out of her.
"No, I don't travel that much."
"You have a passport at least?"
"Yeah, I'm saving for the vacation of a lifetime."
"Where would that be?"
"Europe." She shrugged and didn't elaborate.
Vacation, not honeymoon. And she didn't ask why he got to travel that much. She didn't ask what he did for a living either. She simply replied with as few words as she could to any direct question, but didn't comment the rest, as if she was shy.
When both trays were empty, he decided to be more personal, hoping to go through the invisible wall she had put between herself and the world. She was pretty and he was kind of curious to know more about her. He had never dealt with non-chatty girls before – usually they overflowed him with words, even when they weren't aware of his wealth. A silent and dreamy girl was... interesting.
"My name’s Kurt, what's yours?"
"Becky."
"Becky? That’s nice. Is it short for Rebecca, or just Becky..."
"It’s just a stupid name," she interrupted bluntly.
"Excuse me?"
"I could cite Shakespeare for the names’ story, but I can’t quote Romeo and Juliet by heart, and it would be a cultural level much too high for this stupid conversation anyway."
"What's so stupid about it?"
"No need to get personal here."
"I don’t understand..." He was puzzled by her replies. Totally unexpected.
"There are two reasons to start a conversation with a stranger. To give vent to personal problems or loneliness, which is often found in people slightly older than you, or to pick up a girl, which makes guys think they have to make stupid remarks like 'What a beautiful name!What lovely eyes! What a cool dress!' when the only thing they actually want is sex."
"You definitely have a strange view on the topic," he said both stunned and amused.
"Why, isn’t it so?" she asked innocently.
"Yeah, well, I don’t know... I mean, I thought I could be a little more personal after telling you my Japanese and Italian adventures, but I was obviously wrong."
"So you're not getting personal because you want something?"
It was usually the other way around, actually, but he didn't say it. "Well, you’re cute, but you are also very upsetting."
"I say what I think."
"I see that, I mean, I hear it!"
She smiled at him with sympathy. "I’m sorry, you must be used to women falling at your feet at the blink of an eye," she said.
He wondered if she had seen through his disguise. "More or less," he admitted, uncomfortable.
"I’m happy for you, but this time your beautiful eyes won’t be enough," she said.
His eyes. So she had noticed his good looks, not discovered who he was. Good.
"Is that a compliment?" he asked with a smile.
"It’s a statement, you do have beautiful eyes," she answered, looking at her watch. "Oh, God, it’s late, I really must go!" she added, picking up her purse and rising.
"Wait! Can I see you again?" He rose too, trying to stop her.
"I'm here every day, it's my lunch break," she said.
"But can I call you?"
"You can find me here. I'm not getting any more personal with you, I'm sorry."
She left and he followed her with his eyes, speechless.
***
"You'll never believe what happened today!" Becky slumped on her chair with a sigh.
Debby stared at her, waiting for the event.
Becky busied herself on her desk, frowning.
"So, what happened?" Debby asked impatiently.
"A guy tried to pick me up at lunch time," Becky grumbled.
"Not the first."
"No, but he was cuter than the others. He's been to Italy and Japan."
"But I bet you turned him down."
"Of course."
"I have better things to do than fall in love," Debby mimicked her favorite sentence. "You're the only travel agent who doesn't dream of her own honeymoon," she added with a snort.
"Yeah, well, I don't need a husband to get to my dream city, all right? I'll save enough money and go there on my own. And maybe find a husband there!"
"Whatever," Debby shrugged. The phone rang and Becky was the fastest to pick up, also to get her mind off of her temporary lunch companion.
***
Kurt couldn't get Becky out of his head. Her words kept sounding in his head, and he really wanted to know more about her. So he went back to the mall, and walked around checking all the shops around the food hall.
He stopped at a travel agency and looked through the window. He saw Becky seated inside with another young woman. He hesitated, then pushed the door open.
Becky was on the phone and didn't look up.
Her colleague welcomed him. "Good morning, sir."
"Ah, hello, I would like a suggestion for a vacation..." He sat in front of her, seeing Becky was too busy to notice him. "I would like to take a girl to the place of her dreams." He nodded towards Becky.
"Oh." The other girl looked surprised. A name tag said she was called Debby. She glanced at her colleague and smiled, uncertain. "What kind of budget are you looking for, sir?"
"Unlimited," he answered promptly.
"Well, in that case, I think the person might like to visit the European capitals. Paris is very romantic..."
"I know it very well, and if you think it's the right destination, please book the flight, first class. We can stay at my suite at the George V."
Debby gaped at him.
Becky had finished her phone call and noticed him. She looked surprised. "Hello," she said hesitantly.
"Hi again," Kurt replied, feeling elated.
"When do you plan to leave?" Debby asked him.
"Next week. Let's say from Saturday to Saturday. Is that a problem?"
"If the person can get those days off work, no," Debby smiled. "I'll book the flight anyway, you can pay when you're sure."
"No, I'll pay now, don't worry." He turned to Becky. "From next Saturday you have a one week vacation break."
"Me? Says who?" she protested.
"I do. Your colleague is booking your flight. You're coming to Paris with me."
"What?" she exploded. "Who do you think you are?"
"Just be at the airport on Saturday. With your passport ready."
He handed Debby his credit card.
"I'm not going anywhere with you, you arrogant prick!" she said.
He took back his credit card and signed the voucher with a scoff. He knew she wouldn't refuse him. And her insults were so refreshing...
***
"What an asshole!" Becky said as soon as Kurt exited the travel agency.
"Is that the guy from yesterday, lunch?" Debby asked.
"Yeah, that's him! Can you believe what he just did?"
"He must be really interested if he found you after you rejected him."
"That puts him in the 'stalker' category, Debby."
"I don't know, he looks quite nice to me."
"They all do."
"Becky, he's taking you to Paris," Debby said, excited for her. "Wasn't it your dream? And he has a lot of money, even if he doesn't look rich..."
"How can you tell?" Becky frowned. She thought Kurt was gorgeous, but she didn't like his behavior. Especially now that he had made a decision for her. How dare he, a stranger, dictate her life, if only for a week? What did he want in return?
"He has a platinum credit card, and has talked about unlimited budget and a suite at the George V," Debby said.
"Yes, and then I'll find myself sleeping under a bridge," she snorted.
"Do you want me to call the hotel and ask them if they have a suite reserved for Mr..."
"No, forget it! I'm not for sale!"
Debby rolled her eyes and gave up.
Becky pouted, remembering the meeting. She had been rude and he was taking her to Paris. What on Earth was he looking for? She wasn't for sale, not even for a trip to her dream city! Besides he was strange – rich but unassuming? It would be crazy to go with him. What if he raped her? What did she know of rich people entertainments anyway?
She remembered his beautiful eyes, his husky voice... She better forget him, she decided. He wasn't for her, he was in another league and she didn't want to be his toy.
***
Kurt and Brian were supposed to be playing golf, but they weren't very interested. Being out in the course was a good way of talking without being overhead, though, and that was the only reason why Kurt had joined the golf club. Or better, the only reason to actually go there: to talk with Brian with some privacy.
"So she refuses to come with you?" Brian asked, amazed, after he told him about his meeting with Becky and his wish to take her to Paris.
"Yeah," he answered, thoughtful. "I'm working with her colleague to convince her."
"Man, she's a tough one!" Brian sounded admired.
As a matter of fact, so was Kurt. He knew he would never be bored with someone like Becky, she was so unpredictable, so different from all the women he had met so far!
"Yeah, but I like her honesty," he said. "It's not something we're used to."
"I guess not." Brian shrugged. "But be careful, I doubt your parents would approve of her."
"Brian, if I fall in love, I don't care what my parents do, if they cut off my funds, disinherit me or whatever they come up with. If I find my dream girl, I'll marry her anyway."
"Man, you're brave." Brian now looked at him with open admiration. "But then you don't see me trying to pick up girls in malls!"
Kurt smiled fondly at his best friend. "No, you definitely don't," he chuckled. "So, who is it going to be?"
"Who would you choose between Caroline and Veronica?"
"Neither."
"Come on, pal, put yourself in my shoes! Whom would you choose if you were me?"
"Dunno. Maybe Veronica."
"I'll consider your suggestion, even if you didn't give it much thought," Brian teased.
"I'm sorry, I can't stop thinking about Becky," he admitted.
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