“Sorry?” asked Rebecca.
“That gin… Another time, maybe? Ah. Another time, maybe.”
“No, no, sorry, it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting… Here, do you want to come in?”
“Sure,” replied Susie, politely choosing to ignore the apparent lack of furniture and smell of damp. “Look, I’m sorry to disturb you, but you left the umbrella in my car and the forecast wasn’t good for tomorrow…?”
“You’ve been knocking on doors to find me because it’s going to rain tomorrow?” asked Rebecca.
“Well, that and to drink the gin,” said Susie apologetically. She placed the umbrella behind the door — a door in which the bottom portion was broken, covered by a piece of plastic, which was itself shattered.
“And that umbrella isn’t mine,” Rebecca told her. “I didn’t have one with me earlier.”
“Oh. Well someone left it in my car, so it’s yours now, I suppose,” Susie answered her, in not the most convincing of lies.
“I’m sorry about the state of things here, Susie. It’s a temporary arrangement, this place,” said Rebecca. This was spoken with an attempted sort of confidence, but Rebecca’s lack of conviction betrayed her. “It’s… not the greatest of places,” she conceded.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Really,” Susie assured her, but then remained quiet for a moment.
Rebecca looked at her, not sure what else to say.
“Ah,” Susie went on, filling the gap. “Well. I was going to speak to you tomorrow, if I saw you again at school. But I didn’t want to make you feel bad or anything…”
“Oh, no,” Rebecca replied, fearing the worst. “What is it? Has Tyler gone and done something? Has he upset someone?”
Susie raised her hand to allay her fears. “What? No, no, nothing like that,” she said. “Nothing like that at all. It’s just… I couldn’t help but hear about you selling your car and all, and about Tyler’s coat not fitting him anymore.”
“Sorry about that,” Rebecca answered, casting her eyes down to the floor.
“No, listen, there’s no need for apologies, okay? Look, it’s just that the weather is supposed to continue to be rubbish and… Right, I’m conscious that I’m prattling on like a madwoman. But, listen, luv. I’ve got three kids, yeah? I’ve got three kids, Rebecca, okay? And I’ve got clothes coming out of every bloody cupboard in my house, believe me. And they outgrow them just as quickly as I buy them, don’t they? And so I’ve brought you a few bits, and there’s a lovely winter coat that’s only been worn a handful of times. They’re in the car. I’ll just go and fetch them, then. Is that alright?”
Rebecca didn’t speak. She couldn’t. She only continued looking down at the floor.
“Oh, dear,” said a very worried Susie. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ve embarrassed you, haven’t I? I really didn’t mean to do, honestly I didn’t. I’m an idiot, I am. Should I… should I go?”
Rebecca’s shoulders began to heave. With her head still bowed, she put her hands to her face. “I’m a good person, Susie,” came her muffled reply. “I’m a good mother, I promise,” she sobbed, with tears now in full flow. “But I’m struggling to even buy my son a new coat!”
Susie moved closer, gently stroking Rebecca’s upper arm. “We all have difficult times, Rebecca,” she told her. “I can see you’re a wonderful mother. I know that for a fact. It’s obvious that… obvious that… Hang on. Is something burning?”
“Oh, no!” wailed Rebecca. “I’ve burned his bloody dinner now!” she cried, a statement that, along with it, brought only a further flood of tears.
“You sit down, I’ll get the dinner out of the oven,” suggested Susie. “You take a deep breath and compose yourself. I’ll give Tyler his dinner, as you’ve got a bit of, erm, makeup… smeared on your face?”
“That seems to be a recurring theme lately,” Rebecca answered her, in between sobs.
“You go get yourself sorted, okay? I’ll take care of this here, don’t you worry.”
Once dinner was indeed taken care of, and Rebecca had eaten some of the overdone-but-still-palatable roast herself, and with Tyler off playing happily in the other room, Susie sat with Rebecca round the kitchen table and listened. She didn’t judge, not once. Just listened, for over an hour. It was several cups of tea’s worth of time, to be exact.
“You must think I’m an absolute fool, Susie,” Rebecca said, after a bit of heart-to-heart. “If you’d told me what I’ve just told you, I’d have to think you were bloody stupid for staying with a horrible man like that.”
“Not at all,” Susie assured her. “It’s never as simple as all that, is it?”
“My god, I’m a strong, intelligent woman. At least I like to think I am,” Rebecca went on. “I don’t know how I let it get to this stage, sat here, in this damp-infested hovel.”
“This Robert. Did he hit you?” Susie asked.
Rebecca shook her head. “Occasionally. But not often. In a way, I wish he had,” she told Susie. “It would’ve made it easier to leave him. And I would have had proof, you know? A visible badge for the way he’s treated me. But he’s too clever for that. But he treated me like a possession, something he owned. It started off so gradually that I didn’t notice… Or maybe I chose to ignore it, to pretend it wasn’t happening.”
Susie nodded sympathetically. No judgement.
“I had a job. I had a career. I’d be going off to work and he’d tell me that I looked fat, and that I should wear something else. Always undermining my self-confidence, my self-esteem. If I told him he was hurting my feelings, he’d turn it back on me and say he was just trying to help me and be nice, and then I’d feel guilty. Every time he did it, he’d make it out to be my fault. I almost believed him. How stupid I was…”
“Don’t punish yourself,” Susie said to her, taking Rebecca’s hand in hers. “Just don’t. You hear?”
“I don’t know how I didn’t see it coming,” Rebecca continued. “It got to the point where he’d scream at me all the time, always wanting to know what I was doing every minute of the day, who I’d spoken to. If I was five minutes late coming home from work, he’d…” Rebecca pressed her face into her closed fists. “He’d lock me in the utility room! And why the utility room? So I could get some washing done while I was in there, I guess. Why did I allow that? Why did I allow any of it??”
Susie gave her hand a squeeze.
“And here I am, two years later,” Rebecca said, looking back up. “No job. No money. I’d saved a few hundred pounds in order to get away from him, but that’s all used up. It didn’t last long at all. And now I haven’t got two coins to rub together. And he made sure I was alienated from my friends and family. So now I’ve got nothing, and nowhere to turn. The ring my mum left me when she died, I had to sell it. That’s what I had to do earlier. That’s why I didn’t want a ride back from you,” she sobbed.
“Does Tyler miss his dad?” Susie asked. “Does he know about all of—?”
“Yes, he misses Robert, believe it or not. I always tried to make sure Tyler was never caught up in it. All the domestic drama, I mean. It’s hard, though. And Tyler doesn’t understand why he’s not able to see him. He has no idea how bad things were.”
Susie released her grip, patting Rebecca’s hand.
“Look at me. I’ve gone on too much,” Rebecca said. “It’s getting late now. Susie, thank you for the clothing you promised. I know Tyler will love his new coat. And thank you for listening to me ramble on. It’s actually been a huge relief just to finally be able to talk to someone about it.”
“It’s fine, Rebecca. It really is. And I mean this, if ever you should need to talk, I’m happy to be there for you. Maybe you can come around to mine! Bring Tyler along, and we can drink some gin! Not Tyler, though, obviously.”
“You really do like your gin,” Rebecca remarked, allowing herself a laugh, which Susie shared.
“I don’t want to make it sound like I’m obsessed with gin!” S
usie told her.” It’s just… I work with a woman who, dear as she is to me, makes the gin necessary.”
They shared another laugh, and then Susie went to fetch the bag of clothes she’d brought. When she returned, she gave it to Rebecca, along with a firm embrace. “Stay strong,” Susie told her. “You’re a wonderful mother, okay? and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise!”
Rebecca felt a tremendous weight lifted. She’d tried to carry on all by herself before, stiff upper lip and all that. She’d been so embarrassed, and hadn’t dared talk to anyone about her troubles. But now that this gin-loving, rather-pushy but perfectly-lovely person had made her way in, the loneliness and despair were gone.
“Oh, dear,” she said, picking up Susie’s purse from the kitchen table. She placed it in her own handbag so that she’d remember to give it back to her at school the next morning, before emptying the contents of the bag of clothing onto the tabletop. The clothes were immaculate. She smelt the winter coat and smiled, clutching it to her chest. “Oi! Tyler!” she shouted. “Look what I’ve got for you!”
She walked from the kitchen and laughed when she saw the outline of a figure in the frosted glass once more.
“Ah! I’m glad you noticed!” said Rebecca, unlocking the door. “I was going to bring it to school with me tomorrow, but you probably need your driving licence, don’t you?” she went on, starting to pull the door open. “Oh and by the way, Tyler’s going to absolutely love his new—”
The door flew open as if caught up by an angry gale, pushing Rebecca back and striking her squarely on the temple. She staggered backwards, reaching out for something to hold onto to steady herself, but clutched only empty air. Her legs buckled. She raised her hands in defence, but couldn’t prevent a hand taking hold of her by the hair, throwing her like a ragdoll back into the kitchen.
“Leave me, you fecking cow?” screamed the towering figure looming over her. “I told you you’re nothing without me!”
Robert held his face just inches from hers, spattering her with saliva as he screamed out semi-coherently, the smell of alcohol on his breath overpowering. “Make me look like an idiot, you slag?” he raged on, pausing only to take a breath, which was then followed by a volley of fists smashing into her face. There was no way for her to stop him. He sat on her chest, punching her at will.
Rebecca lifted her right arm, weakly, in a desperate attempt to protect herself, but it collapsed to the floor, along with the rest of her, when she lost consciousness.
“Hey sleepyhead!” Susie called gently, but there was no response. “Can she hear me?” Susie asked of the nurse by the bedside busy reading the monitors and checking on Rebecca’s progress.
“She’s a little drowsy just now, but she can most likely hear you,” the nurse answered her with a compassionate smile.
“Hey Rebecca. Can you hear me? It’s me. It’s Susie.”
Rebecca opened her eyes, emitting a strained groan as she did so, as if even lifting her eyelids were painful. Which it probably was, given her current state.
“Where am I?” Rebecca asked, and then, immediately followed by, “Where’s Tyler?”
“You’re in hospital,” explained Susie. “Tyler is absolutely fine. He’s with my husband and apparently having a lot of fun on their computer games. Don’t worry.”
“Take it easy, now,” cautioned the nurse, as Rebecca eased herself up the generous stack of pillows into nearly an upright position, placing a cautious hand to her blackened cheeks, and then towards her split lip.
Rebecca stared at Susie for several seconds, as if unable to trust her eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought I’d come to see you,” Susie returned with a laugh.
“But you’re in bed as well…?”
“I know. The things I’d do for a friend.”
“I don’t understand…”
Susie lowered her book, swinging her legs around to take a sitting position on the edge of her own hospital bed. “I forgot my purse last night. Couldn’t drive without my driving licence, now could I? I wasn’t even halfway home when I realised, so I came back to get it. Your door was wide opened, and some lunatic was smashing lumps out of you. So, I smashed lumps out of him.”
“You… Wait, you hit Robert??”
“Oh I sure as hell did. And more than once!” Susie confirmed with a wide grin.
“I… I hit my head,” Rebecca told her, reaching up groggily to feel her forehead. “I was… I couldn’t fight back…”
“Don’t you worry,” said Susie. “I got in enough shots for the both of us! I took my shoe off and beat that bastard with it! I drew blood! It was going quite well, too, until the arsehole headbutted me.”
“I’m sorry…”
“I thought you said he wasn’t the woman-beating type?”
“I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t be!” Susie assured her. “I got that bastard good! He got what he deserved!”
“Where is he now?” asked Rebecca.
“Robert? Oh, he ran off holding his head. I think he had a piece of my heel stuck in his skull, to be honest. Ruined a good pair of shoes in the process, that’s the only downside! Anyway, the police are out looking for him if they haven’t found him already.”
Tears started to run down Rebecca’s face. “Tyler… my god, he was there the whole time. What if he saw? I can’t…” she sobbed. “… I can’t get away from him, no matter what I do. He told me he’d find me if I left him. And he did. Somehow he did. I can’t escape him.”
Susie eased down the edge of her bed until her feet made contact with the floor. She padded the few steps between them, and then reached for Rebecca’s hand and held it in hers. “The police will find him,” she assured Rebecca. “They’ll find him. They will.”
“I know they will, but what then? I’ve got no money, no job, and a small boy to look after. What am I going to do?”
“They’ll put him in jail,” continued Susie.
“For how long? A few weeks and he could be back on the street! I can’t put myself through this anymore. I can’t put Tyler through this anymore.”
Susie squeezed Rebecca’s hand. She wanted to offer some words of comfort, something to take away the pain. “I think I have an idea,” she told her. “I don’t think I told you. I work for a taxi company. But thing is, the guys I work for, the owners of the—”
“There’s help out there,” said the nurse. She’d been gone for a moment or two but was back, and handed a folded flyer to Rebecca. “Sorry to interrupt. And I don’t mean to pry. Well, to be honest, that’s a lie. I do when it’s needed. And this is one of those occasions. Now, these guys,” she continued, tapping the flyer. “Started off by offering food stamps to the homeless. Frank and Stan’s Food Stamps.”
“That’s—” Susie started to say, but the nurse wasn’t finished.
“But they’ve now extended their reach to offering hostels, these guys,” the nurse said.
“A hostel?” asked Rebecca, with trepidation. “In Liverpool?”
“Those are—” said Susie.
The nurse nodded. “Sure. We refer a lot of our homeless patients to the hostels around here, and these guys are wonderful. There are others, also, of course. But I recommend this. I hear very good things about them, and I think they’ll be able to help you.”
“Those are actually—” said Susie.
“I know you’re trying to help,” Rebecca replied to the nurse. “But if he found me where I was, then what hope do I have here? At one of these places?”
“You’ll have company,” suggested Susie. “Right? He won’t do anything if other people are there. He can’t. He wouldn’t dare. See?”
“Apologies. I didn’t really explain myself properly,” the nurse went on. “The charity helps out people across the country. Not just Liverpool. They have several hostels that are designed for people in your situation. It’s not just for the homeless who need a warm bed for a few days. They also provide shelter and offer
people work experience and training to equip them to get work! You should phone them?”
“She knows what she’s talking about,” Susie added, now that the nurse had finally completed her delivery. “Frank and Stan, as I was trying to say, is who I work for.”
“What?” Rebecca said, clutching her hospital blanket up to her chest. She looked at Susie and the nurse suspiciously now. “What is this?” she said. “Some kind of intervention??”
“No, no!” Susie told her. “I actually had no idea the nurse here would have information on this. It was—”
“I see cases of domestic abuse all the time, in my profession,” the nurse explained. “I stay prepared.”
Rebecca remained unconvinced. And she started putting pieces together, even though those pieces began showing an inaccurate picture… “This is why you befriended me?” she asked Susie accusingly. “I’m just a charity case to you?”
“No! No, please don’t think that!” Susie pleaded with her. “I honestly had no idea! I just wanted a friend. A normal friend. As opposed to the woman I work with, Stella, who’s the reason for my fondness for gin like I told you! And you seemed so nice. Really. That’s all there was to it. The fact that you need help now, and that Frank and Stan, my bosses, can help you… that’s just… what’s the word? Serendipity. It’s just serendipity…”
Rebecca wasn’t sure what to think.
“Look, I don’t believe in fate or any rubbish like that,” Susie pressed on. “All I know is that you’re my friend and I want to help. And I know people who can help. Yeah? Okay?”
Rebecca brought one of her hands down from her chest, allowing Susie to squeeze it once again. They stayed like this for a bit.
“I’m sorry. I’m not used to people helping me. It… takes a little getting used to. Thank you, Susie. Thank you both,” she said, looking to the nurse as well. “I’m sorry to involve you both in this.”
“Stop apologising!” Susie told her. “This is what friends are for, okay? This is what friends do.”
“Sorry,” Rebecca said again, to which Susie laughed, and Rebecca along with her.
Frank 'n' Stan's Bucket List #3 Isle 'Le Mans' TT: Featuring Guy Martin Page 7