But having him here like this, his arms around her . . . there was no doubt the story was real. Because Katy could feel his heartbeat against the side of her face, feel him breathing into her hair. She held on a little longer, then eased back. “When you’re here like this I have no choice but to believe.”
Dayne touched his lips to hers. “Believe what?”
“This.” She held out her left hand and looked at the ring. “That it’s all really happening.”
“The house is unbelievable,” he whispered against her face. His breath smelled faintly like peppermint.
“Thanks.” They were still standing where they’d been when Ashley left them. This time Katy took the lead, kissing him shyly at first and then with a depth that made her pull away and catch her breath.
“It feels so good to be here. I don’t know how I’ve stayed away this long.” He brought his fingers to her face and kissed her longer this time, a kiss that told her more than his words could say about how much he’d missed her. When he withdrew, a smoldering passion shone in his eyes. “We could stand here like this—” he kissed her again—“until my plane leaves, and it wouldn’t be long enough.”
There were no words to describe how wonderful it felt being here with him. Kissing him gave her only a glimmer of what lay ahead after the wedding. “Then let’s.”
This time when their lips met, the feelings between them grew more intense. Dayne seemed to realize it first. He took a step back and gently put his hands on her shoulders. “Okay . . . about this house you picked out.” He was breathless, the desire in his eyes deeper than before. He took her hand and turned to face the back of the house. “Why don’t you give me the tour?”
Katy exhaled, steadying herself. “Good idea.” This was one more thing she loved about her fiancé. He had a colorful past, but he treated her like a princess. He respected her completely. They’d drawn the line on safe ground, so there was never any question about things getting out of control.
They walked into the house through the back door, and Katy saw the place through Dayne’s eyes. The door led to a great room, but the space was dark with only two small windows. Mold grew on one of the walls from the floor to the ceiling, and cobwebs hung from every corner.
Dayne pressed her fingers between his and gave a lighthearted laugh. “You weren’t kidding. It definitely needs work.”
“And maybe a few windows.” Katy noticed that the linoleum was peeling in places. “And a new floor.”
“Yes.” He put his arm around her shoulders. “But I can see it, Katy.” He turned and looked out the sliding door to the deck. “Once it’s fixed up, it’ll be gorgeous.”
“You think so?”
“Definitely.” He gazed at her, and for a moment they were lost in each other’s eyes. “But never as gorgeous as you.”
Katy felt like she was walking on cotton candy as they moved from the great room through the kitchen and down a hallway into a laundry room. When they were finished with the downstairs, they went up, careful to step over the two broken stairs. “Lots to do, huh?” She gave him a sheepish grin.
“It doesn’t matter.” He followed her toward one of the bedrooms. “If it isn’t ready by Thanksgiving, I can stay with John. He already offered.”
“Good.” She stopped him just before the bedroom door. She circled her arms around his waist and looked into his eyes. “As long as it’s ready after the wedding.”
He looked like he wanted to kiss her, but instead he retreated a step. “What’s in here?”
The joy in her heart was so strong it made her dizzy. Her voice fell a notch, and she heard the shyness in her tone. “Our room.”
They walked in together, and she heard Dayne take a deep breath. He stopped and put his arm around her waist. The former owners had skimped on windows downstairs but not here. An entire wall was made up of a series of three enormous sheets of glass, giving the master bedroom an expansive view of the lake. At one end of the room was a sliding door and beyond it a balcony that was sagging on one side.
Dayne released his hold on Katy’s waist and took her hand. “Bob said this would happen.”
“What?” Katy loved hearing about Dayne’s missionary friend. He and his wife and kids would be coming to the wedding, and she could hardly wait to meet them.
“He told me God wanted to give me the desires of my heart—as long as those desires were lined up with His. That’s why on my list of what mattered most I had God first. He’s already done enough for me.” He shrugged. “I guess now I want to leave this part—the desires of my heart—up to Him.”
Katy touched his face. “And look what He’s given us.”
“More than I could’ve imagined.”
They finished touring the house, and when they found their way to the backyard again, Dayne looked at the house and nodded slowly. “It’s possible, Katy. It could be ready by Thanksgiving.” He took her hand and brought it to his lips. “Let’s wait for the inspection, but if the contractors here are anything like the ones in LA, you can make it worth their while to move quickly.”
“I’ll make some calls next week.”
He led her toward the edge of the bluff. “The stairs down to the water don’t look real safe.”
“But there’s a path.” She had dreamed of this moment, known that when he came it would happen exactly like this. The two of them walking through the house, imagining what it might be one day, what it needed to make the transformation complete. And then they would take a walk to the shore. She’d found the path two visits ago. It wound down the hillside, and though it was overgrown with weeds, she’d made it to the bottom without a problem.
Dayne led the way. “Out here, it doesn’t even feel like Hollywood exists.” He was careful not to move too far ahead of her. “Not Hollywood or the paparazzi or the gossip of Tinseltown.” He breathed deep. “Out here I’m just a guy in love counting the days till his wedding.”
And that’s the way he came across the rest of the afternoon as they reached the water, took off their shoes, and walked barefoot along the beach for a mile, stepping over the occasional rock or piece of driftwood. They talked about the wedding plans and the press and his new movie. Katy told Dayne about the script for Cinderella. Everything was coming together for the fall performance.
Before they climbed back up the hill, he let go of her hand and waded into knee-deep water. “Wow. It’s a lot warmer than the ocean.”
And more private. But she didn’t say so. She wanted to forget how careful they had to be on the beach behind his Malibu home. All those days were behind them now. She moved toward him, and as she did, he leaned close to the surface of the lake and flicked a few drops of water at her.
“Oh no. Not this time.” She made a move, intent on splashing him back.
But before she could get him wet, he started to run. “Okay, okay.” He held up his hands. “You’re right.”
She gave him an innocent look. “Don’t worry, Dayne.” She took slow steps toward him, her eyes never leaving his. “I won’t get you wet. No paybacks from me—no sir.” But just as she reached him, just as she went to push him, he lost his balance and slipped backward into the shallow water. With nothing to catch her, she fell forward and landed on top of him.
Katy gasped as the water splashed her face and drenched her clothes. At the same time, Dayne propped himself up on one elbow and wiped his eyes so he could see. Katy tried to scramble free, but she couldn’t get a footing and she fell on him again.
“Hmm.” He grinned at her. “This could be interesting.”
“Dayne!” Katy braced herself and pulled her knees up. She spit a mouthful of lake water at him, and they both laughed. “Help me!”
With a single motion, he smoothly flipped her onto her back, soaking the only parts of her that were still dry. He was on top now, though he used his arms to keep some space between them. He brushed his nose against hers. “It’s easier to get up from this position.”
“Is that rig
ht?” She splashed him with both hands, but before she could squirm free, she realized that they’d never been this way, this close before. And even though it was an accident, she could understand how people with the best intentions could fall into temptation in a matter of seconds. The feeling was heady and different from anything she’d ever experienced.
He must’ve sensed it, because his expression changed. “I want to kiss you so bad.”
“Me too.” She swallowed and, without meaning to, eased her hand around his waist, against the small of his back. Suddenly, in a terrifying and scintillating rush, she wanted to forget every promise she’d ever made about staying pure. Every inch of her wanted him to draw closer. “Dayne . . .”
Under the gentle pressure of her hand, he lowered himself a fraction of an inch, then another fraction. But just when it seemed like they might both tumble toward a point of no return, Dayne closed his eyes. From the depths of him he groaned, but it came out as a single whispered word: “No.” Then in a decision that looked like it took everything he had, he pushed himself up and away from her.
With his knees still in the sand, he sat back against his heels and reached for her hand. His sides were heaving from everything he must’ve been feeling. “I can’t, Katy. I . . .” He rubbed the back of his neck, then found her eyes. “I gave myself a line.” He clenched his jaw and stared at the sky above. There were blue patches now, the storm clouds breaking up. “No matter what I want, I promised God I wouldn’t cross it.”
Katy sat up and picked a piece of lake moss from her shirt. Her body screamed for more—more of him, more of his nearness, more of his kisses—but at the same time her heart pounded from how close they’d been. How close they’d come to turning a corner from which there would be no backtracking. God . . . I’m sorry. . . . I never want to be this close again. Shame made her cheeks hot. “It’d be so easy.”
“Yeah.” He surveyed their surroundings. The lake formed a private cove at the base of the hill. There were no people or boats or houses in sight. He leaned over and gave her a single tender kiss. “I have a feeling we’ll spend a lot of time down here.” He helped her to her feet. “Just not right now.”
Katy was more than impressed. Resisting the pull of the moment had taken all her resolve. But what about him? Staying pure was something new for Dayne Matthews. His determination to honor her was further proof of the depth of his love, his commitment. More than that, it was proof that he intended to live out his faith in every area of his life. Regardless of his past, he was telling her the truth when he said that he’d never loved like this.
She had no doubts.
They stood in knee-deep water, facing each other, the air around them silent except for the gentle lapping of the water against the shore. She hung her head. “I always felt . . . I don’t know, better than other girls.” She lifted her eyes to him. The guilt in her heart was so strong she was sure he could see it. “When I was in high school I made a decision to wait until I was married. A lot of my friends did too, but . . . over time, one by one, most of them gave in.”
He framed her face with his hands. “But not you.”
“No.” A breeze came off the lake and made a chill run down her spine. She wanted to take a step closer to him, but she didn’t dare. “I always thought it was only a matter of will. Make a promise and keep it. That sort of thing.” She studied him. “But just then . . . something came over me, Dayne. A part of me wanted to forget I ever made that promise at all.”
“I know.” He ran his thumb along her brow. “I felt the same way.” He hugged her, but after a few seconds he reached for her hand and took a step toward the shore. A tender smile played on the corners of his lips. “That’s why we’re going back up the hill.”
And that’s exactly what they did, not looking back even for a moment. Katy was grateful too. Grateful to Dayne and to God most of all. Because if Dayne had turned around, if he had swept her into his arms and back down to the shore, she was no longer sure about one thing.
Whether she’d have the strength to tell him no.
Dayne led the way, and they reached the top of the hill in less than five minutes. He was still catching his breath from the scene down in the water.
Relief flooded him. Distance was a good thing. Only by God’s strength had they avoided doing something they both would’ve regretted. Now that he was thinking clearly, now that his brain had the upper hand again, he had no intention of leading Katy astray. Even if she did look irresistible with the sun in her hair.
Dayne pointed to a patch of grass washed in sunshine. “Let’s sit there.” He wrung out the cuff of his shorts and gave her a wry look. “We can’t go to the Baxters’ looking like this.”
She followed him and sat a few feet away. “How long do we have?”
“An hour. Dinner’s at four.” He put his hands behind him and leaned back. He loved the privacy they had here, loved being with her, talking to her without the threat of paparazzi or any of the craziness that came with his life. He studied the backyard and imagined it with a new deck and porch. “I see what you mean, how you can picture us here a year from now. Five years.” He met her eyes. “Twenty years.”
“Mmm. It’s the perfect retreat, like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.”
He was quiet for a minute before he drew a slow breath. The sound of a passing car faded in the distance, and a gentle wind stirred the maples that lined the property. If they were going to share everything, then he needed to tell her what he’d been feeling. “Hey . . . I need to talk to you.”
A ripple of concern showed in her eyes.
“Don’t look like that.” He reached for her hand. “It’s not about us.”
“Oh. I didn’t think so, but . . .”
“Katy, you’re perfect. This—” he waved his hand to encompass the lake and the house—“all of it is perfect.” A sigh rattled loose from somewhere deep inside him. “It’s about my job.”
A smile tugged at her lips. “Your job?”
“Yeah, is that funny?”
“I guess so. Hearing you talk about it like that.” Katy laughed, and the sound mixed with the breeze. “Like you’re an engineer or a salesman and not, you know, the Dayne Matthews.”
He made a face. “It’s still a job, whatever way you look at it.” He pulled his knees up and leaned on one of them so he could see her better. “Anyway, it’s bugging me lately.”
She waited for him to explain.
“The love scenes.” He released her hand and stared at the expanse of water. He’d been thinking about this since that day in the canyon—the scene with Randi and her comment about wishing they could’ve done multiple takes. Now that he loved Katy, he was uncomfortable kissing anyone else. Even if it was all pretend. He sensed something change in Katy. “What are you feeling?”
She looked at the line of trees. When she spoke, uncertainty hung in her voice. “I don’t know. I always figured the love scenes came with the territory.”
“And until a month ago you figured the two of us were finished.”
“Right. I haven’t had time to think about it.” She shaded her eyes. “What brought it up? You and Randi Wells?”
“Me and her. Me and whoever they cast me with.” He could hear the frustration in his voice. “My films always have love scenes. Some more than others.”
Katy looked like she didn’t want to ask, but now that he’d brought it up, she did. “How much in this film?”
“Not as much as some.” He frowned and looked out at the water. “No bedroom scenes. But still . . .”
Katy was quiet. She plucked a blade of grass and turned it over in her fingers. “Makes me glad I’ve been here trying to get ready for Cinderella.”
“And now all you can picture is Randi and me, right?” He knew the topic would be touchy. But there was no way around it. He had to tell her how he was feeling. “One love scene after another.”
“I guess. It’s not something I want to think about.” She tucked
her legs beneath her. “I can see where it would bug you.”
“It does. A lot.” He pictured the canyon scene. “I’m standing there in front of fifty people kissing another woman, and for the first time in my life it feels all wrong. Completely wrong.”
She studied the ground next to her. “The Hollywood answer is obvious. Whatever happens on a set is simply acting, nothing more.” She looked up. “But if that’s true, then why do so many leads fall for each other during the course of filming?”
“Exactly.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I have no feelings for Randi. But I wake up every day missing you like crazy, and I spend the afternoons in the arms of a stranger. I don’t like it.”
A pair of eagles caught their attention at the same time, and they watched them dipping and soaring in wide, graceful circles. Dayne knew Katy wouldn’t have asked him to change for her, wouldn’t have brought up the topic. But it was eating at him more than he’d realized until now. Until he looked at it not only from his perspective but from hers.
“You’re the star, but do you really have any control?”
“Not for a script I’ve already approved. Not for this film.” He nodded slowly. “But for the next one, you know? And all the others after that.”
“What could you say? I mean, look at you.” The smoky depth he’d seen in her eyes earlier down at the lake was back. “The film industry will expect you to have a leading lady, and that means love scenes.” She lifted one shoulder. “Maybe there’s no way around it.”
“I could ask for a clause saying no between-the-sheets scenes. That’s what some people do.” He raised his brows. “Most of them don’t work for long, but I guess that wouldn’t be an issue for me.”
“No.” Katy smiled. “I don’t think so.”
He sighed. “There’s always going to be some of it, Katy. Until I move to the other side of the camera.”
“Directing?”
“Yeah. Someday. Maybe after my contract’s fulfilled.” He’d been thinking more about it. An actor could only lend so much creativity to a film. A director could make or break it.
Forever Page 5