He smirks. “Or too much whiskey.”
I roll my eyes and turn away, making it all the way to the door before I stop. “You know what I’d do differently? I’d stay. If I never ran out of your apartment that morning, if I stayed, maybe things would be different now.”
Jaxon gives me a long, unreadable look. “Guess we’ll never know.”
“I really am telling you the truth. I didn’t steal your grandmother’s ring. I’d never do something like that.”
He sighs and returns his attention to the pile of papers in front of him, as if I never said anything at all.
Days Left Until Summer Break: 157
Jaxon
I press snooze for the third time this morning.
Since the night of the dodgeball game, I haven’t been able to sleep. I toss and turn, unable to drift off. And when I finally do, I have a dream. I wake up exhausted, out of breath, and drenched in sweat.
Something is tormenting me, gnawing at my gut.
Or more like someone.
It’s the same dream every night. Raegan and I are fucking in my office. She’s wearing a short, black dress with heels. I bend her over my desk and take her from behind. It’s vivid as fuck. It’s the hottest dream sex I’ve ever had. I wake up with a raging hard-on, but I’ve been too stubborn to jerk off to the woman who stole from me.
I’ve been taking a lot of cold showers.
This morning though … my willpower is dwindling. I’ve been running on no sleep for a week. It’d drive any person to the brink of insanity. I can’t be held responsible for my actions. I’m not thinking straight.
At least that’s my excuse when my hand trails down my stomach and slips under the waistband of my boxers.
Try not to judge me. I need a release. I need relief.
My mind is consumed with thoughts of Raegan. I’m constantly thinking of ways to get her to confess to her crime. And when I’m not, I’m thinking of ways to lash out at her. When neither of those thoughts are at the forefront of my mind? That’s when the image of her glorious, naked body in my bed enters from left field. Her legs spread open for me, hips grinding against my tongue …
I pump my fist over my length, hard and fast in angry strokes. I don’t want to draw this out. I want it over. Want to be rid of her. I don’t like being attracted to a woman I hate. It’s wrong. It’s torturing me.
I think the problem is that I keep getting little glimpses of Raegan’s good side. The side I’d been introduced to the night we met.
Let’s go down the list.
She’s good at her job and she works hard. That’s sexy to me.
She brought me the picture Joshua had made for me on the second day of school. She could’ve thrown it out. An evil person would have. But not Raegan.
Then there’s the way she caressed my head when she knew I was hurt at the dodgeball game. That wasn’t the touch of someone without humanity. And the fact that she’d stopped in my office to check on me after? That blew my mind.
It’s like she’s two people inside one body. The beautiful, caring woman, and the closet psychopath who robs jewelry from sleeping men.
Never-ending questions continue to plague me.
What if she never gives up the ring?
What if it’s gone forever?
What if …
What if she really didn’t steal it?
“How is everything going with the girl?”
“Raegan,” I say. I don’t know why it bothers me when he refers to her like that, but it does.
Dad looks at me over the top of his glasses. “How is everything going with Raegan?”
Running my fingers along the framed family photo on Dad’s bookcase, I sigh. “She’s still saying she didn’t take it.”
“Of course she’s saying that. That’s what thieves do. They lie.”
“Do you remember when we took this picture?” I raise the frame and face it towards Dad. “Nana was so happy when we gave it to her for Christmas.”
A smile tugs at the corner of Dad’s mouth. “I remember how difficult it was for you and Josh to agree on which color shirt to wear.”
My eyes flick to another photo sitting on a different shelf. A five-year old me is holding a two-year old Josh in my lap. “Were we always so opposite?”
“Always.”
“It’s crazy how that happens. Two boys with the same family and same upbringing. How can we be so different?”
Dad slips his glasses off and sets them on his desk. “It’s just the way you’re born. I know the whole Michaela thing didn’t help.”
I return the frame back to the bookshelf and settle into the chair facing Dad’s desk. “I don’t know what else to do.”
“About the girl?”
“Yes. About Raegan.”
Dad tilts back in his chair, appraising me, arms crossed over his chest. “What do you want to do?”
“I’ve tried making her life miserable at work. I’ve tried intimidation. I’ve tried being nice.” I hike a shoulder. “What if I never get Nana’s ring back?”
He puffs up his cheeks and blows a stream of air through his lips. “I spoke to Harry at work. He said his brother-in-law is a police officer. He could try to get us a search warrant.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “And search her house?”
“She’s a public employee. We can get her address. If she has the ring, they’ll find it.”
“What if she already pawned it?”
“Harry’s been keeping an eye on the local places. So far, nobody’s seen the ring.”
The door to Dad’s office flies open. Josh closes it behind him and rushes toward me. “You lost Nana’s ring?”
I push out of the chair to face him. “You were eavesdropping?”
He scoffs. “The walls are thin. I was walking out of the bathroom when I heard Dad talking about pawn shops.” He shakes his head. “I can’t believe you lost it.”
Dad’s voice booms. “Josh, sit down. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’re going to defend him? Nana left the ring to him and he lost it.” He looks me up and down, his top lip curling. “So much for being the better choice.”
I step toward him so that we’re almost nose to nose. There’s a slight height difference between us and I use it to my advantage. “Like it would’ve been in better hands with you? It would’ve ended up in a pawn shop before the end of the day.”
“You can’t hold onto anything these days can you? First your girlfriend, now the ring.”
I fist Josh’s T-shirt in my hands and slam him against the bookcase. “You piece of shit—”
“Enough!” Dad’s fist slams onto the desk. He stands, his voice low and intimidating as he points to the door. “Get out, both of you.”
I release Josh’s shirt and shove my hands through my hair. With our tails tucked between our legs, we leave Dad’s office.
Mom’s waiting in the hallway, her eyes darting from Josh to me. “Boys, what’s going on?”
I place my hand on her shoulder and muster a smile. “Nothing, Mom. Everything’s fine.”
She sighs. “Then get out of this hallway and let’s go eat dinner.”
Josh wraps his arm around her waist. “Smells great. Let’s go.” As they walk toward the kitchen, Josh turns and smirks at me over his shoulder.
Days Left Until Summer Break: 155
Raegan
“For the final order of business, we have Halloween coming up.”
Every teacher in the room groans.
Jaxon laughs and holds his hands up. “Don’t shoot the messenger. I’m putting a sign-up sheet in the main office for anyone who would like to volunteer to help with the dance. Whether you can chaperone or decorate, your help will be greatly appreciated. I know it’s an exhausting day for you guys, but try to remember who we’re doing this for.”
I raise my hand and Jaxon points to me. “There are a lot of students whose families can’t afford costumes. Maybe we can set up a
donation box by the front door. The staff and parents can donate old costumes for any families that can’t afford to buy them.”
I expect him to shoot me down, but Jaxon’s face breaks into a wide smile. “That is a fantastic idea. Great job, Raegan.”
I almost fall out of my chair from sheer shock.
Jaxon’s gaze sweeps around the room. “If nobody has anything else they’d like to add, you can all go home.”
Becca nudges me as we stand. “I think you knocked something loose when you hit him with that ball.”
“I don’t know, but I’m not buying the nice guy act.”
“You don’t have to buy it. Just enjoy it.”
I spot Michelle walking ahead of us in the hallway. “Hey, Michelle! Wait up.”
She spins around and smiles. “Hey. I was just on my way to sign up to chaperone at the Halloween dance. Are you guys volunteering?”
“I’ll do it with you.” I gesture to my friends. “The girls have their own kids to take Trick-or-Treating so I’ll be riding solo.”
“Have fun,” Kerry says. “I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon than stay here for two more hours for that dance.”
I shove her. “Don’t listen to her, Michelle. She’s becoming one of those old teachers who doesn’t remember how to find the fun anymore.”
Kerry flips me off before heading down the kindergarten wing.
“Do you mind signing my name for me?” Michelle asks. “I have ten minutes to get across town to make it for a dentist appointment.”
“Sure thing. See you tomorrow.”
In the main office, Beth is sitting at her desk, licking her fingers.
I lean in and sniff her breath. “Peanut butter cups?”
She just grins.
Jaxon breezes past us on the way into his office. “I have more if you want some.”
I follow him and lean my hip against his doorframe. “You’re going to give her diabetes, you know.”
He chuckles. “I like to keep my staff happy.”
“That has yet to be seen,” I mutter. “Where’s the sign-up sheet? Michelle and I want to chaperone the Halloween dance.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “Really? I thought I’d have to bribe and beg people to go to that thing.”
“I’m not opposed to begging.”
Amusement dances in Jaxon’s eyes. “I’ll get on my hands and knees if I have to.”
I roll my eyes. “That I’d like to see.”
He slides the sign-up sheet toward me, wearing that confident, flirty smirk. “Name the time and place, Ms. Donahue.”
I squirm under his unwavering gaze, unable to form a witty retort. Is he flirting with me? What’s happening right now?
I click my pen and sign both of our names at the top of the sign-up sheet. Then I high-tail it out of Jaxon’s office without another word.
“Hi, Grandma. It’s me, Raegan. Your granddaughter.”
Grandma’s face twists as she scoffs. “I know who you are. You don’t have to introduce yourself to me, baby.”
I let out the breath I’ve been holding, relieved that today seems to be a good day.
I never know what kind of mood Grandma will be in until I arrive in her room at the nursing home. Some days she’s tired and sleeps throughout my visit. Other times she’s angry and combative. It’s easier when I have my mom with me, but Mom got called to do a double at the hospital, so it’s just me.
I wrap my arms around my grandmother and squeeze her thin body. “How are you feeling today?”
“I’m fine. My knee hurts a bit but nothing out of the ordinary.”
“That knee is still bothering you, huh? Maybe we should call the doctor to take a look at it again.”
She waves her hand. “Oh, no. It’s fine. Just a little bruised. Nothing to make a fuss over.”
I chew on my bottom lip. “I don’t like that it’s still hurting you. I know you fell, but that was weeks ago.”
“I’m fine, baby. Now help your grandmother up, will you? It’s almost time for my therapy session.”
I hold Grandma steady as she changes into her bathing suit, and then we ride the elevator down to the indoor pool.
Her physical therapist, Neil, is waiting for us once we arrive. A warm blast of chlorine-scented air burns my nostrils. I end up leaving with a headache every week, but I wouldn’t miss the chance to see my grandmother’s face light up when she gets into the water. She and my grandfather had a huge inground pool where I’d spend hours swimming every day as a kid. Grandma loves the water, and it’s the only place she seems at peace.
Normally I wear a one-piece bathing suit with a T-shirt over it. But since I’ve lost the divorce weight, as I’m referring to it, I’m able to fit into my old bikinis again.
Hello, two-piece, my old friend.
I strip out of my clothes and leave them folded neatly on a chair. Taking Grandma’s arm, I lead her into the pool.
Neil whistles as he reaches out for Grandma’s hand. “Look at you, girl. Glad to see you ditched the baggy T-shirt. Let me find out you’ve been hiding that body under there the whole time.”
I giggle. “More like this body was hiding under a layer of fat.”
“Well, good for you for losing the weight and the dead weight, if you know what I’m talking about.”
Neil’s my favorite therapist here at Grandma’s nursing home. The other ones are fine, but Grandma’s happiest when she’s around Neil’s upbeat personality. I am too.
“My Raegan is single now,” Grandma says matter-of-factly. “Maybe you’d be interested in taking her on a date.”
“Gran, I don’t think I’m Neil’s type.”
“Nonsense,” she says, splashing water at me. “Neil, are you only allowed to date Egyptian women? Or are you one of those boys who likes the stick-thin model types?”
Neil and I exchange knowing smiles. “Oh, I am a fan of the sticks.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
I do my best to suppress my laughter, but the confused look on Grandma’s face is priceless.
Neil and I take my grandmother through her exercises for the next half-hour. I’m thankful to be here while she’s having such a good day. I have to take what I can get, because I never know when the tides will turn.
“How’s work, Rae?” Grandma asks.
“It’s great. Counting down the days until Thanksgiving break. I could use a couple days off.”
“Nothing like the slaughtering of the indigenous people to get everyone excited,” Neil says. “Please tell me you don’t still teach those kids about the Pilgrims and the Native Americans sharing a peaceful meal together.”
“They’re only five. I can’t exactly tell them about how the Native Americans were raped and pillaged.”
Neil sighs. “I get that, I suppose.” He glances over the top of my head and a grin spreads across his face. “Now that right there is my type.”
I look over my shoulder as discreetly as I can, following Neil’s gaze. Then my entire body stills in the water.
Jaxon’s standing at the edge of the steps, guiding an older man into the pool. His black swim trunks sit low on his hips—Jaxon’s, not the old man’s. No suit. No tie. His upper body is completely bare.
My eyes blaze a trail up his chiseled abdomen, over his smooth, broad chest, around the striations in his shoulders. How could I not remember seeing this the night we met? Stupid whiskey shots.
Neil chuckles. “He’s so sexy, he rendered you speechless.”
“That’s my boss,” I whisper-yell, unable to tear my eyes away.
“Your boss?” Neil’s head whips back and forth between Jaxon and me. “Oh, honey, that man can order me around any day.”
“I don’t want him to see me. You have to help me get out of here.”
“Oh, look,” Grandma says, raising her hand to wave. “There’s Samuel Waters.”
It takes all my strength not to push my grandmother’s head under the water and hold her there until she stops waving at
Jaxon’s grandfather. Memory’s working just fine today, huh?
“Too late,” Neil whispers. “He’s already spotted you.”
I groan and lower myself further into the water until all that’s left above the surface is my head.
Jaxon and his grandfather are swimming over to us in the middle of the pool. And Jaxon’s wearing that evil smirk he loves to taunt me with.
“You look like a blond Oompa Loompa minus the spray tan. Get up,” Neil says, pulling my arm until I’m standing again.
I shoot him a dirty look as Jaxon and Samuel arrive.
“Hi, Raegan.”
I plaster on a fake smile. “Hi, Jaxon. Didn’t realize our grandparents were at the same nursing home. I’ve never seen you here before.”
“I usually don’t come on the weekends, but I’ve been working so late during the week that I had to switch my visits.”
His grandfather nudges him with his elbow and signs something with his hands. To my surprise, Jaxon signs back. I watch their hand gestures go back and forth. Then Samuel extends his hand toward me and smiles.
I shake his hand and look up at Jaxon. “How do I sign nice to meet you?”
Jaxon’s eyes widen and his lips part, as if he’s caught off-guard by my question. He blinks a few times and clears his throat before he speaks. “Uh … okay. First you’re going to put your palms together, like this.” He places one hand on top of the other. “Then you swipe your top hand over the bottom. That means nice.”
“Okay, so I’m making a sandwich, and then sliding it over to you,” I say, mimicking his hand movements.
He laughs. “Good. Then you’re going to hold both hands up like you’re showing the number one. Face them towards each other, and now you have meet.”
“I get it. The two fingers look like they’re two people meeting.” I turn to Samuel and repeat the steps Jaxon showed me.
Samuel’s face lights up and he claps. Then he signs something else.
“He said good job.”
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