"Sorry," I whispered as she slumped over. I undressed her, leaving my cloak to cover her while she slept. Then, smoothing the lines of my dress, I walked confidently toward the kitchen door.
Walking the halls of the castle brought forth a rush of memories, none of them warm. I'd never felt at home here, not as a girl, not as a woman, and definitely not now. Still, it was hard not to feel nostalgic, remembering conversations with Katarine and slipping through secret hallways with Felix as I left for my vigilante activities.
But memories could wait; I was in an open hallway with a recognizable face. Twice, I had to duck behind a pillar to avoid being seen by passing guards or maids.
I turned the corner to find the dungeon door about a hundred feet away from me and two guards out front. I passed by them, glancing at the door out of the corner of my eye, and kept walking until I turned the corner and waited.
"…not sure this is suitable. It's dirty and dangerous down there."
"I appreciate your concern, but it's Felix."
My heart stopped in my chest as familiar voices echoed down the hall. Ilara and Katarine, arm in arm, were headed straight toward me, deep in conversation.
I turned, spotting a bucket next to a painting, perhaps where a maid had left it, and grabbed the rag, dunking it in the gray water and scrubbing the gold frame of the nearest painting.
Chapter 6
Katarine
It was hard to balance both joy and fear as Ilara walked me down to the dungeons. I could scarcely believe she'd granted my request to see him during our daily walk through the gardens. From what I'd heard, the guards hadn't been able to find out a thing from him, and I'd convinced Ilara that, as his best friend, I might have sway where others didn't.
"I do hope you can get through to him," Ilara said. "It pains me to see him down there. Then again, I suppose you've not had much luck convincing your sister."
There it is. "I have sent her yet another letter requesting her to reconsider your stance. I have done everything I can to convince her. Forcadel and Niemen used to be such close allies."
"Perhaps it's time to make an in-person plea," she said. "Perhaps you can send Beata."
My pulse sped up. It was the first time we'd broached the topic of Beata since she'd left in the middle of the night, but I had been spreading rumors through the wait staff. I was just surprised it took her this long to bring it up.
Ilara jumped at my silence. "Is there something the matter?"
"Nothing that needs your attention." I offered her a fake smile, knowing she could see right through it. "I'm sure Beata will be happy to act as your official envoy once she returns from…wherever she went to."
"She…left?" Ilara stopped in her tracks. "Why?"
I cleared my throat, allowing the pain of her leaving to come to the forefront. I was honestly distraught, and I could use that to convince Ilara.
"I don't know, really," I began softly. "We did not part well."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," Ilara said, turning to me fully. "You two seemed so very happy."
I nodded and covered her hand with mine. "I'm sure she'll be back soon and we'll be mended. But our parting conversation has left me a little…" I forced a watery smile onto my face. "Unseemly."
"You know you can talk to me about whatever you like," Ilara said. I almost believed her. Since she'd unceremoniously announced our relationship to the court, she'd been heavily invested in it. At times, I thought her concern and interest genuine. But it was hard to reconcile that with what I knew about her manipulative nature.
"I didn't wish to burden you with my romantic troubles," I said. "Especially as I'm sure they'll be resolved on her return."
"Do you know where she went?" Ilara asked.
At that, I hesitated, as I'd practiced. "That was…the source of our disagreement. She wanted me to go with her but wouldn't tell me where we were going. I fear there's something…"
Ilara's gaze bored into me. "That's odd."
"I know," I said with a small shake of my head. "She's been agitated lately, like she was hiding something from me. I thought it was just my imagination running amok, but clearly…" I sighed. "Clearly, I should've listened to my instincts."
"And you've no idea where she's gone?" Ilara asked quietly.
"I wish I could tell you she was merely going to the southern shores, perhaps for a week away," I said. "But I fear that would be a lie."
She patted my hand on her arm. "I will continue to hope for the best. You two were becoming quite serious. Perhaps she's just getting cold feet."
"Perhaps," I said, swallowing my indignation at the very thought of it. "But I won't trouble you with more of this conversation. Not when you've given me something to be so joyful about."
Ilara gazed at the dungeon door. "For his sake, Katarine, I hope he gives you something useful."
When the dungeon door slammed shut behind me, I jumped a little. My nerves were already on edge from a restless night, worry about Beata heavy on my mind. It had been made painfully clear that Felix's time was running out—and mine, perhaps, was too.
As I reached the bottom of the dark staircase, I was overcome with the smell of human excrement and Mother knows what else. I'd never been down here, not even when August, Felix, and I were rebellious teenagers in search of thrills. This was reserved for true traitors to the crown, however few of them there had been before Ilara took over.
Now it seemed every cell contained at least ten people, cramped together in living situations that weren't even remotely sanitary. The torchlight reflected in the whites of their eyes, following me as I passed. No one said anything, but their animosity was palpable. I had no friends; they all thought me a traitor. But they wisely said nothing, as there were Severians posted every few feet.
"Halt," said the guard closest to me. "You can't be down here."
"I am here to see Felix."
"On whose orders?"
"The queen's," I replied with cool steel. "She's asked me to try my hand at convincing him to speak."
He grunted and rubbed his chin. For a moment, I thought he might turn me away, but instead he waved me on. It didn't escape my notice that he'd taken me at my word. Lying about Ilara's approval would work only once, so I'd save it for when I really needed it.
At the end of the hall, two guards stood in front of iron doors. One, I assumed, held Felix on the other side.
"Who's in that one?" I asked the guard.
"Garwood," he said. "Traitor."
"Yes, I'm aware." He was August and Brynna's uncle, and the only one on the Council who refused to swear fealty to Ilara. He had been down here for months now, and I feared his time was running short. "May I see him as well?"
The guard gave me a look. "You said you were here for Llobrega, not Garwood."
"Can't I see both?" I asked.
"No." He motioned to the guard on the left. "Llobrega only."
So my word did have limits. I hadn't expected the guard to allow me in, but I'd needed to know where his trust ended. "I suppose that will do."
The door to the cell opened and I walked over the threshold. Here, the disgusting scent that permeated the dungeons was more prevalent, but there was another smell—metallic. Blood.
"Felix?" I called softly.
"Kat?" He sounded weak, and my heart did a somersault in my chest.
As my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, I edged into the darkness, until my toes hit metal and I made out the shape of something sitting against the wall. I knelt, reaching out to touch the damp cloth of his shirt. His face was shrouded in darkness—no…it was covered in purple bruises. His eyes seemed swollen shut, or nearly shut, and blood oozed from his nose and lip.
"Oh, Felix," I whispered, the sight of him breaking down the wall that I'd built up. "Felix, what have they done to you?"
"They tried to do something to me," he said, cracking a wry grin that seemed tinged with pain. "They forget that I used to endure worse from the castle guard in tr
aining."
A lie, if I'd ever heard one. I'd never seen Felix earn a single lash. I brushed my fingers along his grimy forehead, lifting the hair stuck there.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
I pressed my fingers to his lips, hoping he'd know I wasn't alone. "Ilara wants me to ask you about the rebels in the city. She believes you know who they are."
He opened his other eye, casting a glance behind me. "I'm afraid I can't tell you."
"Have you considered the possibility that you don't know who did this at all? That perhaps you're just deluding yourself into thinking you met with them?"
He met my gaze again, and the corners of his mouth twitched. How lucky that he could read me like a book. "I am not delusional," he replied, turning away from me. "And I'm honestly offended you'd think me so weak."
"I can't stand to see you this way," I said, covering my mouth. "Not with Beata gone."
Felix started, concern evident on his face. "What happened to Bea?"
"She left," I said. "She said she was going to visit family, but…the way she asked me to go with her. Something's wrong, but she wouldn't tell me what it was."
He opened an eye, staring into mine, understanding dawning on his face. I wasn't just telling him this, I was also letting the guard behind me know. "Why didn't you go?"
"I don't know. Leaving Her Majesty seems like a bad idea," I said. "And I can't leave you, Felix. Why won't you talk to me?"
Felix sighed. "Fine, I'll talk to you." He looked behind me. "But only if this guy leaves."
"No," the guard said. "I stay."
"Please," I said, turning to him with pleading eyes. "This may be my only shot to get through to him. I promise I won't tell Queen Ilara that you left me alone."
He sighed and looked behind him. "Five minutes. Then you're out."
"Oh, thank you," I said, standing and walking over to him. He refused to take my hand, instead slamming the door in my face.
"Rude."
"Be careful of your tongue or he'll lock me in here, too," I said, returning to Felix's side.
"I doubt it, not with that acting job," Felix whispered, a smile growing on his face. "I actually believed that you think I'm crazy."
"Maybe I'm the one who's crazy," I said, grateful we could speak honestly. "Coming down here the way I did. Felix, you look a mess. And you smell atrocious."
"Tell me what's happening up there," he said. "Did Beata really leave?"
"Jorad came to get us," I whispered, barely making a sound. "Our girl sent him."
"Jorad?" Felix sat up. "He's supposed to be in Neveri. And she was supposed to have gone to Niemen. What in the Mother's name is going on?"
"I don't know," I replied. "I asked him not to tell me. It'll be easier to be surprised that way."
"You should've left when you had the chance."
I made a noise. "Are you joking? And leave you here to die? I would never."
"Kat…" Felix swallowed, his throat bobbing in the dark. "I'll probably die here. And if you aren't careful, you could join me."
"I have a plan," I said with a weak smile. "I hope. But it's better for B…our girl if I remain in Ilara's good graces, at least for the moment. When I decide it's time for us to go—"
He covered my hand with his bruised and bloody one. "Then you go. Leave me."
"Tell me you aren't making things worse for yourself," I said, gingerly touching his purple eye.
"I don't see how I can be," he said with a dark chuckle. "They keep asking me the same questions about the ond attacks. You'd think they would've gotten the message the first thousand times I refused to answer."
"Felix, why are you protecting them?" I asked.
"If I don't talk," Felix said, looking at the darkness before him, "perhaps they'll be more willing to work with our girl."
"That's…" I shook my head. "You don't know that."
"I told them she was alive and they weren't interested," Felix said. "This is…this is the only thing I can do for her. I failed in everything else."
"Tell me who it is," I said. "I'll get the message to her somehow."
"I can't. The only thing I have is…" He sighed. "I just can't."
"Then give me something," I said. "Something to prove to Ilara that allowing me down here wasn't a mistake. If you won't let me help you, at least help me stay in her good graces." I licked my lips. "Please."
He closed his eyes. "There's a woman called Ruby. She's the one who put me in contact with them. Is that enough?"
"It will have to do," I said, leaning in to kiss his bruised cheek softly. He grasped my hand with his swollen one again, but his grip was weak. Some of his fingers appeared to be broken.
"If you need to leave me behind, I understand. Just tell her that I love her."
"And I'm telling you, Felix Llobrega, that I love you and I refuse to leave this castle without you by my side," I said, as a tear fell down my face. "We're in this together, Felix, so you might as well just get used to it."
"I think," he said with a groan, "I might have gotten the shorter end of the stick in this together business."
"Time's up," the guard said, opening the door behind us. "What'd you get from him?"
"I got that she's a stone cold bitch," Felix said, wrenching his hand from mine.
I allowed the hurt to dawn as if his words were true, and I got to my feet. "I will pray for you, Felix. And hope the Mother provides you some sense soon."
Chapter 7
Katarine's conversation with Ilara had been enlightening, mostly because it had proven just how capable a liar she really was. She was using Beata's absence as a way to get closer to Ilara—even I felt bad for her. But if I was successful, it wouldn't matter. She and Felix would be leaving with me today.
Ilara waited by the prison door for a long time, void of the fake smiles she'd shared with Katarine. My knives sat under the maid's dress, but I didn't reach for them. Just scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing.
Finally, Ilara turned to leave, and I turned back toward the painting as quickly as I could, scrubbing harder with shaking hands. She stopped behind me, and for a moment, I thought I'd been made. Could she recognize me from behind? Had I accidentally turned and revealed my face?
"I think that frame is clean enough," Ilara snapped as she walked by me. "And get a new rag, that one is filthy."
Her footsteps echoed behind me and I didn't quite breathe until she was gone. I closed my eyes and said a prayer of thanks—that had been close. After a moment, I turned my attention back to the door and the two guards. I had one bag of knockout powder left; that would get me in the door. But what might I find beyond that? I could wait until Katarine came out, or I could throw caution to the wind. The guards were already eyeing me suspiciously.
The door opened and Katarine walked out, wiping tears from her face. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. Felix was surely dead, or close to it.
"Well?" the guard barked. "What'd he say?"
"He said that the last person he visited prior to his arrest was a woman named Ruby," Katarine said. "That might be a good place to begin an investigation."
The guard rolled his eyes and brushed past her, slamming the door behind him, but I lost my breath. Ruby? My old informant had entrapped Felix? It was insanity, but…at the same time, she had consorted with criminals like Beswick.
Katarine wiped her cheeks, losing some of that doe-eyed fear in favor of her sharper, more familiar gaze. She was playing the guards—perhaps to help Felix? I'd find out when we spoke.
But before I could catch her gaze, a hand covered my mouth and pulled me backward. I didn't fight, allowing whoever it was to pull me toward the secret entrance. Mostly because I recognized the calloused hand.
Jax released me and I stumbled forward in the darkness. "Let me do what I came here to do," I whispered at him. "She's right there. I can get her out—"
"Then what?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Barge into the prison and take on al
l the guards by yourself?"
"There can't be that many," I said.
"I'd tell you to go look for yourself and see if you get captured, but unfortunately, those soldiers who gave up their commissions to follow you into battle might have a problem with that." He crossed his arms over his chest.
"Five minutes, then we can go," I said, inching back toward the door. "I'll just get Katarine—"
"The Niemenian told you to let her handle it," Jax said, throwing his arm up to block my path. "She seems like a smart broad and she had the opportunity to leave. You might as well let her dig her own grave if that's what she chooses to do."
"It's not just about saving them," I said, glancing at the door again. "It's about reducing vulnerabilities. Surely you can understand that."
A whistle broke our conversation—someone was coming. I motioned for Jax to follow me into an alcove that would hide us both. We stood in the darkness as a maid wandered by, humming to herself and lost in her own world. She paused to check the bottom of her shoe, then kept walking.
"See? It's stupid for us to be here," Jax said with a disgusted shake of his head. "Get your head out of your ass and come with me."
He started walking, but I didn't follow. "I'm not leaving them, Jax. Felix is being tortured down there, and Katarine could end up in the same predicament."
"Look," he said, sighing loudly, "The Niemenian is keeping herself close to the queen because she knows it's the best place to help you." He pointed to the wall. "The captain can afford to be thrown in jail. But you? If you get caught? It's all over. Nobody left to pick up the mantle. And all those people you killed in Neveri would've died for absolutely nothing—including your friend whatshername."
"Riya," I said softly. "I'm not going to get thrown in jail, Jax."
"You were nearly made just now," he said. "It's a good thing Ilara was too busy barking orders to recognize you."
My face flushed. How long had he been watching me? And how had I not known he was there? Perhaps I was rusty.
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