by Tracy Lauren
“The losers…do they all end up with their heads on someone’s wall?”
“No, most of them go to the incinerator. Unless they are special in some way, like the dhiragoni was to me.”
“How often are there fights?”
“Every day there are no less than a dozen. On special occasions they run all day and into the night.”
“I see. Hero…do you know what it means to major in social work?”
“I do not.”
“Okay, never mind. Forget it.”
“I have one last question.”
“Let’s have it.”
“How many fights have you had? I mean total, wins, losses, whatever.”
He laughs. “Purity, I have only ever won my fights. If I had lost, I would not be here now. But if you want to know how many… It is impossible to say. I have been fighting my entire life.”
“A hundred,” I offer.
“Thousands,” he corrects.
The silence in the cave is deafening and I know Hero can feel the tension coming off of me.
“Purity…” he ventures. “I had looked forward to this moment, when we would finally be able to speak freely. Yet, I cannot help but feel as if something is wrong.”
“It’s a lot to process,” I tell him, and it sure as shit isn’t a lie. What I don’t tell him is that I can’t live with any of this. I can’t keep slaves and send them to their deaths while rubbing elbows with those gambling on their lives. I can’t run a fucking whore house and live every day of my life in some ultra-fucked-up version of the cantina scene from Star Wars. I can hardly keep from breaking down over the knowledge that this has been Hero’s life. He doesn’t even see how pathetic and disgusting it is. So, I swallow my outrage on his behalf and pretend everything is going to be okay.
“I think…I think I just need to sleep on it.”
Hero nods, but his expression is sad. I can see how disappointed he is. He expected this to be a celebration and I’m treating it like a wake. No one understand how he feels more than I do. We lie down together and I put my hand over my belly. Tears spill quietly from the corners of my eyes as I mourn the life I had built up in my head…my life with Hero and our family.
“Hero?” I whisper into the dark.
“Yes, my mate?”
“Can’t we just stay here forever?”
“It is a nice dream, my love. But I have been gone too long already. Let’s enjoy another day or so, then I will take you home,” he yawns and I have my answer.
I wait until I’m sure Hero is asleep, then I slip out of the cave, taking nothing with me besides a knife and his scanner, the latter of which I promptly smash over a rock. Looking up into the sky I find the brightest star over the mountain. Then I start sprinting. I don’t know how long I have until Hero notices I’m gone, but I have to get to the airfield before he finds me.
I love Hero, I truly do, and leaving him behind feels like a piece of me is dying. But he hasn’t lived the life I’ve lived. He’s lived the hardened life of a slave and I fear if I tell him I don’t want to go to his terrible planet he’s going to force me. I’ll see that cold and callous look that was in his eyes when he killed the Clymerrick. He’ll drag me back to his world without regard to what I want.
I can’t live in a world like that. Most importantly, I can’t raise a child to see death, rape, and slavery on a daily basis and allow them to believe that that’s what normal is.
I love Hero…but for the first time, I’m scared of him too.
Chapter 31
He’Rokvska Naa
Rolling over, I reach for my mate, but the furs are cold. I sit up abruptly, scanning the cave. She is gone.
The Vulna, I growl. I knew I should have killed him when I had the chance. I grab my swords and kick the screen away from the entrance of the cave. It is dawn out and the sky is a dusty gray. I take in a deep breath, searching for the Vulna’s scent, but all I can smell is Purity. Her soft aroma laced with the smell of my love for her. The Vulna’s scent may be weak, but Purity’s is strong. I take off into the woods after it. A short distance away I find my scanner, smashed on the rocks. The Vulna is a fool to think I need such a device to hunt him down.
I chase my love’s scent, running so fast that the world around me is a blur. I think only of what I will do to the Vulna once I find him and not of how my heart will shatter if Purity has been hurt.
I judge time by the burning in my lungs and the brightening of the sky, but I do not allow my body to slow. Every second is an eternity in hell and somewhere out there Purity feels the same way. She needs me…she’s counting on me. I pray to every God that might be listening and make a deal with any devil, I would do anything to find her alive and well. Absolutely anything.
Her scent grows stronger over time and I notice tracks in the dirt, but I do not stop to study them. Nor do I slow when the glass dome comes into view. A fresh piece of hell enters my mind. The Vulna is taking her to the airfield. What if I am too late and they have boarded a ship and left this world?
A roar of pain and frustration rips from my throat. Ahead of me there is a meadow and in it…I detect movement. Again, I bargain with the Gods. Do not let me be too late. I would trade anything, I repeat in my mind over and over again. My house, my honor, my life—everything I have, for Purity’s life. It is my mantra, pushing me forward.
I cut through the meadow, the grasses so tall they block my view. But I can hear the rustling ahead of me, the harried escape. I think I see a flash of Purity’s golden locks and I pounce. Joy washes over me as I grip onto her. I shove her behind me and ready my blades.
“Where is he?” I growl, scanning the grass and listening for movement. But all is silent now, save for Purity’s sobs.
“Where is he?” I demand, turning to look at her. She’s sprawled out on the ground, dirty and crying. The look she gives me hits like a wave and I recognize the emotion displayed in her eyes. It is one every slave knows well. When my Purity looks at me…all I see is despair.
I take a deep breath and kneel beside her. “Did he harm you?”
“Who? What are you talking about?” she asks, wiping at her snot-and-tear-streaked face.
I am about to tell her who…when I realize what is happening here. My heart sinks. I’m at a loss for words. I stumble back, as if struck.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I just can’t do it. Please don’t make me go to your world. I can’t live a life like that. I’d rather die than live like that.” Her voice is all ragged desperation, she might as well be begging for me to spare her life.
My mantra whispers through my brain. I’d have traded anything for her safety and now I must pay the price. That’s what I get for making deals with devils, I suppose. “Where would you go instead?” I ask coolly, pushing my feelings to the side.
She wipes her face again. “The Iredescan colonies. There’s a human there named Faith.”
I sheathe my short swords and help Purity to her feet. “Come,” I say, turning my back on her. Fighting back tears, she follows me up the stairs to the docking platforms. I scent death on the air, but it is old now and the scavengers have already come and gone. I ignore it as I lead Purity to my ship; she’s still crying as she follows me inside.
I leave her in one of the guest quarters and lock myself on the bridge, directing the ship’s computer to plot a course for the colonies she speaks of. We don’t say another word to each other. Nor do we bother going back to our cave for the meager supplies we left behind.
My heart sinks when the ship’s computer relays the data for our destination. This place she wishes to go to… It’s a mere day’s journey in warp. This time tomorrow, she will nothing more than a memory. I sit in the captain’s seat, staring out the view screen. The pain I feel is constricting, choking me from the inside out. Still…it is far better than if Purity had been hurt or killed.
I watch the stars race past the view screen and time moves too quickly as I contemplate my loss. Eventually t
he sensors tell me we are within range of the planets. I send a comm link ahead, inquiring after a human named Faith. Coordinates are relied and I lock into them.
I should go to her so that we may say our goodbyes, I think to myself. But I do not get up. Instead, I waste the time we have left, too frightened to face her. I’ve never felt that before, I marvel. I’ve looked death in the eye a thousand times and never once felt fear. Yet now I wait until we land before I force myself from my seat, so that I may look upon my mate one last time.
“He’Rokvska Naa?” the comm cuts on. “This is Rylan Graz Bregen, I am here with the Governor of this system, Serif, and my mate, Faith.”
“I have Purity, I will bring her out to you now. Please give me a moment.”
“Thank you,” I hear a female’s voice over the comm. The fluidity of her speech reminds me of my mate.
I head to her room and when the door slides open, she jolts from her bed.
“We are here,” I tell her, unable to look her in the eyes, but from what I can tell, she’s been crying.
“Where is here?” she asks, her voice small and afraid.
“I have delivered you to where you wish to be. We are on one of the Iredescan worlds. The human, Faith, awaits you outside.”
“Oh…” She swallows. “Thank you, Hero.”
I grunt and turn from the door. “Follow me.”
Her soft boots hardly make a sound as we head for the hatch and the sound of my footsteps echoing in the corridors are perhaps the loneliest thing I’ve ever heard.
The hatch glides open and bright sunlight streams inside, blinding us. I see the silhouettes of three figures waiting below. When my eyes focus, I recognize one of the males from Kosi’s dome. His human mate stands beside him. Their expressions are concerned.
I cast one last look as Purity. Everything I can think to say would leave my heart bared to her, so I purse my lips and turn away.
“Hero, wait!” she calls. I hang my head, hoping for a change of heart that I know will never come. If she tried to escape me, running away under the cover of night…then she truly does not wish to be with me. What else is there to say beyond that?
“It’s the life I can’t lead,” she tells me. “To constantly be surrounded by death and slavery? See, Hero, when I met you, I had this beautiful picture painted in my mind of what things would be like for us, but it isn’t that. It will never be that.”
I look out the hatch and past the others. This is another beautiful planet. The skies are clear and crisp and the scent of terra hits one’s nose with every breath taken. I am glad she will be in a place like this one. Purity…she deserves a fresh beginning on a world with no pain, no suffering, no slavery. But I don’t trust myself to speak, so I nod, agreeing with her. I wasn’t thinking clearly. To bring her to Braga Faro Sintra would be like cutting a flower from its vine. For a time it would shine, of course, until it inevitably began to wilt.
I clear my throat before I speak. “I claimed you, Purity. Whether you want me or not, you will always be my burden. I shall see to it you are cared for, that there is an account set up for you, with creds added regularly so you may still live a comfortable life.”
“Excuse me?” she baulks. It was not the response she expected from me, I take it.
“Just because I am leaving you here does not mean I will abandon my duty to you—”
“I’m not a slave or a whore, Hero. You aren’t allowed to buy me.”
“How do you plan to care for yourself?” I demand.
“There’s work here,” the other human jumps in. “Honest work, I can set something up.”
I brave a glance at Purity, she holds her chin high and her eyes flash with defiance.
“Fine. You have gotten your wish. You’re free of me,” I grit out.
“It’s not you, it’s that life!”
“They are one and the same. I am a gladiator, Purity. That is all I ever have been and all I ever will be.”
“You were never a gladiator to me.”
“What was I then?”
“Just you. Just my Hero.”
I clench my fists, steeling myself against the pain threatening to overwhelm me. “My name is He’Rokvska Naa,” I growl harshly, storming away. This time, Purity doesn’t bother to call after me.
Chapter 32
Purity
Our introductions are short, but Hero’s ship is gone before they’re finished. Faith takes my arm, sensing my misery, and we walk together into a small and rustic alien town.
“We’ll let you talk,” Rylan tells us when we enter something like a tavern. He kisses Faith and heads to the bar with the alien named Serif. Even with my broken heart, I’m in awe of everything around me. I take it in with wide eyes.
“What do you think?” Faith asks, venturing a small smile and gesturing to the world around us.
“It’s…it’s just so…normal.” I clasp my hand over my mouth and bite back a sob. She nods with understanding in her eyes.
“I’ve been in the forest for weeks. I never thought I’d see civilization again and when Hero told me about his world… It sounded like hell. But this place…” I look out the window. There’re families walking together in the streets, children playing, people with their pets. Sure, they’re all aliens. But it’s safe and familiar.
“I was only at The Hunt for a few days, but before that I was hopping space stations. It was a different kind of life…nothing like this. We’re safe here.” Together, we stare out the window.
“I know we just met, but I want you to consider Rylan and me your family. Whatever you need, we’ve got your back. Serif’s a good guy too. He has no tolerance for slavery and out here, they believe in everyone’s right to make their own way in the world. Together we’ll find a job that works for you and you’re welcome to live with Rylan and me.”
“Thank you. Not to come off as ungrateful, but how would I go about getting my own place? I was in the wilderness for so long, I guess I kind of got used to the solitude. It felt, I don’t know, natural or something? Like maybe that’s how people were supposed to live—simple lives, in tune with nature—and somehow along the way we forgot. Sorry, that probably sounds stupid.”
“It doesn’t. But are you sure that’s what’s best for you right now? You’re coming out of some serious trauma, Purity. Maybe you should think about it for a while before you make a decision?”
“I’m not saying I want to live in a cave in the woods. But I want some property, some space to call my own. It’s important to me… Kids should be raised in a place like that, right? Where they can run around and climb trees?”
Rylan and Serif approach, carrying tall drinks for the both of us. Faith swirls her finger around. “Make it a couple of teas,” she calls to her mate. Rylan’s mouth makes an O and he heads back to the bar, but Serif takes a seat. I peek over at him. I wonder if all aliens look as imposing as the ones I’ve met so far.
Serif’s size is comparable to Hero’s, but his appearance is entirely different. This alien is all iridescent white and burnished purple, with spikes along his jaw and wrists, and his bared and muscled chest is artfully decorated with tattoos. When I look up at his face, I see his gaze is also scrutinizing me from head to toe.
“I must be a mess,” I tell him, fidgeting with my hair. He raises a brow that tells me yes, I am, but his expression is light and amused regardless.
“Purity was just telling me that she hopes for a house of her own, something with a little land, where she can raise her baby,” Faith puts in.
“Congratulations,” he tells me, leaning back in his seat. “As you can see, land is something we have in abundance here. And I happen to have a soft place in my heart for your kind. I will talk to my people and get something appropriate for you in…say, a rotation?”
“That’s like a month,” Faith whispers.
“Why do you have a soft spot for humans?” I ask, my mistrust worn plainly on my face.
He laughs at my bluntness. “
You are all so fierce and full of fire. I have not met a human yet that wasn’t a force to be reckoned with.”
“Are there lots of humans here?” I ask, unsure if I should be hopeful or not.
“You are only the third I’ve met, but each occasion has been my sincerest pleasure.”
“What will I owe you?” I ask.
“You will find work and be an active member of the community. That is all I ask of any of my citizens.”
I bite back my hesitance to accept his offer. I did refuse Hero’s money after all. But this feels different. Hero wanted to give me a whore’s pension plan. Serif is offering me a foundation so I can provide for myself.
“When you are settled in come and see me. We will look at the maps and find a desirable location for you,” Serif says with a finality that pushes away any arguments I might have.
“Thank you,” I tell him.
Rylan comes back to the table and passes us our teas. “Are we expecting any trouble?” he questions.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“From the gladiator,” he tells me.
“No…his life is on his planet. I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again.”
“Is that what you want?” Faith questions.
I sigh and give a sad smile. I’d tell her what I want, if I trusted myself not to cry. I want the man who rescued me in the forest, the man that bathed and nurtured me back to health. The one who made me laugh and made me feel safer and more loved than I’ve ever felt in my life. I want my Hero.
I’d have been content to spend the rest of my life with him alone in the wilderness. But it all slipped through my fingers when I watched him kill the Clymerrick yesterday. He was brutal, nothing like the man I had come to know. Now I question if that man ever existed, or if it was all just one big miscommunication.
If Hero had picked me over his old life it would have told me something. I’d have known that just because he’s killed doesn’t mean he’s a killer. But when I told him I couldn’t live like that, he didn’t hesitate to dump me with the nearest human. It was like the thought of staying with me never even occurred to him.