by Lori Wick
“What of the mission and school?”
“Can I invite Loni?”
Father’s hands were in the air in an effort to gain some quiet. His voice was full of laughter as he spoke.
“Hold on, everyone, hold on. I’ll explain everything to you as we eat.”
Father thanked God for the food and the twenty years with Kaitlin. As dishes were passed he explained the plans for his family.
“As you know, Katie, you were only five years old when we came to the islands and we haven’t been back to California since. Your mother and I both feel that it’s time.
“I’ve written to Aunt Maureen and she’s expecting us. I haven’t chosen an actual date to return here to the islands, but I imagine we’ll be at your Aunt’s for six to eight weeks.
“Now, back to your questions. We’ll see if we can’t come up with new dresses for each of you girls and maybe a shirt for Sean.” Father took a moment to inspect his son’s hair and clothing. “On second thought, maybe you should just get something from my clothes. Theresa, when did he get so big?”
Sean smiled at the compliment from his father and then Kate asked, “What of the mission and the school?”
“Things are in good shape right now, Katie, and even if they weren’t, it’s time for us to have a break. Your brother and sister have never been off this island. I also think the other missionaries are overly dependent on us sometimes. We won’t be gone for too long, and it will be good for them to see they can do very well in our absence.
“There are at least three men who can fill in for services. Things at the school are a little trickier because both you and your mother will be gone, but I’ve talked it over with everyone and I’m sure they’ll work it out.
“You children were never aware of it, but this is not the first time we’ve made plans to leave Hawaii.” Father saw that his words were a shock. “But in the past God has always closed the door on our plans, and your mother and I have accepted that. This time I feel very certain that, even if something unexpected arises, God’s leading is for us to sail to the states.”
“Can Loni go with us?”
Father’s eyes became very tender as he looked at his youngest daughter, so like his beloved Theresa in appearance. He slid his chair back and held his arms out to her. Marcail settled in his lap and then looked up at him. He kissed her brow.
“You wouldn’t want us to leave you here when we sail, would you Marcail?”
“No.”
“Well, it’s the same for Loni. We wouldn’t want to take her away from her family. Think how lonely she would be for them.” The little girl looked thoughtful and then asked if they could take Loni’s whole family. Father smiled but answered with a definite no.
“Marcail, you need to finish your supper dear,” her mother reminded her. “Tomorrow are Sunday services and I want you in bed on time. Kaitlin, Sean, please try to eat. I know you’re excited but we’re not leaving for a month and . . .” Theresa stopped talking when she saw that her children were hundreds of miles away. Husband and wife exchanged a smile.
“And you thought she might be disappointed about not having something to open,” Patrick whispered to Theresa, who gave him an exaggerated sigh and then chuckled.
“You were right, Patrick, as always, you were right.”
four
Theresa Donovan called Kaitlin’s name three times before she responded, and the children at the school found this highly amusing. Kate smiled good-naturedly at their laughter as she made her way to the rear, but inside she was scolding herself. The day before her father had asked her about something he’d said in his sermon. Not an unusual occurrence, but Kaitlin had been very embarrassed over having to admit that she hadn’t been paying attention.
I’ve got to pull my mind out of the clouds, she told herself, as a child came toward her with a question. Even as she worked patiently with the little girl, she despaired of ever getting over her dreamy state. A trip to California and seeing Aunt Maureen! Who would have thought her twentieth birthday would be so wonderful?
“Miss Katie, is this right?” Kaitlin was surprised to see that the little girl she’d been helping had returned to her seat and Joseph, one of Kaitlin’s favorites, was waiting for his work to be inspected.
“This is very good, Joseph, but you missed question 14.” Kate looked into the little boy’s eyes as she spoke and they told her his incomplete work had been deliberate.
“Joseph,” she reproved gently, and watched his eyes fill with tears.
“Are you really going away, Miss Katie? Are you really leaving the island?”
“Yes, I am, but . . .” Kate stopped just short of telling Joseph she would be back. Something inside her wouldn’t let the words come. She searched for other words of comfort even as the thought persisted that she wouldn’t be returning to Hawaii ever again.
“I’ll miss you, Joseph, very much, but you’re my little brother in Christ and I know that He’ll care for you. And we can remember each other in our prayers.” She reached out a gentle hand then, and brushed at the tear sliding down his cheek. Then her hand went to sweep back the thick, black hair on his forehead.
Marcail appeared in the next instant and Kate had no choice but to send Joseph back to his seat. She watched him for a moment and was relieved when their eyes met and he smiled.
“He has a crush on you.”
“Do you think so?” the older sister whispered to the younger.
“Yes, I do. His sister told me that he talks about you every day after school, all the way home.”
“Well, it’s too bad he’s not a little older—” Kaitlin let the remark hang.
“Scott Harper is older and I saw him holding your hand yesterday.”
“It wasn’t what you think, Marc,” Kate said, as she remembered the scene with the son of one of the other missionaries.
“You’re really going, Kaitlin?”
“Yes, Scott, we leave in a month,” Kate answered the tall, painfully thin young man who had been in love with her for years.
“When will you be back?” The question had been asked, almost desperately, and Scott had touched Kate for the first time, grasping one of her hands in both of his own.
Kate had no desire to encourage him but neither did she want to hurt him. “My father says we’ll be in California for about two months.” Kate gently disengaged her hand as she spoke.
Scott’s eyes, big and dark like her own, were looking at her in a way that always made her feel regretful. Here was a man her own age, who was in love with her, and she didn’t feel anything. Oh, she cared for him and he didn’t repulse her but she wasn’t in love with him. With both their families involved in missionary work on the islands, it would have been very comfortable and practical if she had been in love with him.
But when she’d said as much to her mother, Theresa had told her in plain terms that love was neither practical nor comfortable.
“Did I upset you because I said something about Scott?” Marcail’s soft question broke into Kate’s memory.
“No, Marcail, I’m fine and we both better be about our business.”
The rest of the day slipped by, and Kaitlin was thankful that she was too busy to think about California—or the pathetic look in Scott Harper’s eyes when she’d left him. In fact she didn’t give another thought to him until late that night, when he knocked on the door.
“Well, Scott, come in,” Father spoke kindly, as he answered the light tap. “What brings you out at this hour?”
“I know it’s late, Mr. Donovan, but I have something important to ask you.”
Marcail had been sent to bed but the rest of the Donovan family watched as Father led the nervous young man to a chair. Kate’s heart grew heavy and she began to pray when she noticed that Scott did not look in her direction or acknowledge her in any way.
“What can I do for you, Scott?”
“I’ve come to ask you for Kaitlin’s hand in marriage.”
Pat
rick Donovan, a wise and loving parent, was careful not to look at his oldest daughter. When he spoke, his eyes looked directly into Scott’s and his voice was gentle.
“Did Kaitlin know of your plans to come here this evening?”
“No sir, she didn’t. And the truth is, I know Kaitlin doesn’t love me. But sir, I know I’ve got enough love for both of us and I think in time she would learn to love me.”
Sweat glistened on the young man’s face and Patrick was deeply moved at the sincere look in his eyes.
Scott rushed on before he could speak. “I’m not trying to keep Kaitlin from making the trip to California. In fact, I was hoping you could marry us right away so I could go with you. I’m afraid if she leaves without me I’ll never see her again.” Scott’s voice had dropped to a whisper, as he continued to look at the man he hoped would be his father-in-law, his heart in his eyes.
“My parents’ marriage was arranged Scott,” Father began quietly after a moment. “My mother was from a different part of Ireland and my father had never laid eyes on her until a week before the wedding. There was no love at first sight like the books tell about, but it was a good marriage, and I believe they did grow to love each other.
“It was different in my own life. The first time I saw Theresa my heart nearly jumped out of my chest, much the way I suspect your’s did when you set eyes on Kaitlin four years ago.
“But Scott, lad, four years is enough time for Kaitlin to know her heart. I’ll not force her into a lifelong union when I know she’s not in love.”
The young man’s shoulders slumped but his face wasn’t angry or disrespectful. For the first time, he let his eyes go to Kate’s. He was thankful that he saw no pity, only the kindness he had come to expect from her. There would be no embarrassment when they were together again, because Kaitlin would treat his proposal as a compliment, not an insult, even though she was not the least bit interested in him as a husband.
“Well, it’s late,” Scott’s voice was hoarse, “I’ll be on my way and let you retire. Good night.”
“Good night, Scott.”
The door closed and no one spoke. Kate’s composure, held so neatly in place while in the presence of Scott, slowly crumbled until her face was buried in her hands and the sound of crying filled the room.
Her brother, who was sitting nearest to her, said quietly, “Maybe I should have warned you, Katie. I knew he was coming tonight, but I just didn’t know how to tell you. Even though I think he would have been good for you, well, it’s not your fault you don’t love him.”
“When did he talk to you, Sean?” Mother asked as she put her arms around her crying daughter.
“This afternoon. I’m sorry if I—”
“It’s all right, Sean,” Kate’s voice was ragged. “You were sort of caught in the middle. But what really bothers me is that I think Scott’s right—that we’ll never see each other again—that we’ll never come back to Hawaii.”
Father came close at that point and waited until he had Sean and Kate’s attention. “I want you to listen to what I’m going to say, not just listen but believe it with all your hearts. Our lives will be changing in the weeks to come and even though we are making plans to return I can’t predict the future. But whatever tomorrow brings, God will be with us. Whether we’re in California or Hawaii or some place we’ve never even thought of, God will go before us and keep us in His precious care.”
Father hugged his family, then, and had a brief word of prayer. Reassuring Kaitlin about her feelings toward Scott, he told her, as her mother had, that love would come in its time. He then sent his children off to get their much-needed rest.
five
The Pacific Flyer was a beautiful ship that stood proudly in the water. And to the family of five she would bear eastward, indeed she was the most glorious ship on the sea.
The farewells on the beach had been tearful, but all were aboard now and cast-off was moments away. With the enthusiasm of first-time travelers, Sean and Marcail tried to take everything in at once. Kaitlin was no less excited but the openly flirtatious looks some of the crew were sending her way made her stay close to her parents by the railing. The wind snatched at some of the words, but Kaitlin was able to hear part of her parents’ conversation.
“I’m worried about the promise you made to Pastor Graves.”
“Why would you worry about that?”
“Because you never break your promises.”
“And you think I’ll have to break this one. You think we won’t return.”
The rest of the words were swept away on the breeze, leaving Kaitlin to wonder what was worrying her mother. Whatever the source of her concern, it was causing her mother to lose weight and sleep. She’d never seen her mother so thin and weary. Of course, getting ready for the trip was enough to tax anyone. Why, yesterday she’d been teaching the island children and today she was on a ship headed for the California coast!
“Katie, come and see this,” Marcail called to her sister, affording no more time to speculate about her mother.
The next days of the trip proved enlightening as the Donovan females showed themselves to be natural seafarers. Kate and Marcail were rarely below deck and their faces reflected their contentment as the wind drove the trim vessel across the waves. The deck was often slick with sea spray, which added to the excitement of being aboard ship.
Kate’s apprehensions did not ease concerning the overly interested sailors but there were a dozen other passengers aboard and she never really felt threatened.
The girls loved to watch and listen as the sails cracked in the wind and to feel the spray that hit their faces when the wind caught a high wave.
“Put your bonnet on, Marcail.” Mother said as she approached her “Vikings.”
“How are Father and Sean?” Kaitlin wanted to know. Her father and brother had not taken to the sea swells as the women in the family had. They lost most of their meals as the ship moved into deeper waters.
“Both sleeping,” Theresa answered with a tired sigh. “I got a bit of broth into them and I’m praying they’ll keep it down. I certainly wish they had your sea legs, Kate.”
“I have sea legs, too.”
“Yes, you do, Marcail and I’m glad. If you lost any weight you’d blow away.”
“Mother, why do all the men on ship look at Katie?”
Theresa’s head snapped up in surprise and after a startled look at Kate, her eyes scanned the deck. Father had tried to warn her, but he’d been feeling so sick she could barely understand him. “Keep an eye on Kate. She’ll draw attention.” His words became suddenly clear, and, with her spouse so sick, she felt anxious over not having been more aware. They had all been sheltered for so long.
“Has someone approached you, Kaitlin?”
“No, but the sailors, well, they stare.” Kate shrugged rather helplessly and Theresa looked almost stern to cover her dismay.
“Kaitlin, I’m not accusing you of anything, but you need to be careful. You are a very attractive young lady and I’m afraid you cannot be friendly while on this trip. I realize it’s not normal for you to ignore people, but a smile on this ship can be taken the wrong way.”
The fact that Kate towered over her mother did nothing to diminish how young she looked at that moment. Being leered at was something she’d never before experienced and she didn’t like it at all. Her hand went self-consciously to the severely high neckline on her dress and she glanced down at her chest. For the first time in her life, the sight of her full breasts caused her to hunch her shoulders.
Theresa’s heart turned over in her chest and she reached to touch her daughter’s arm. “Kate, honey, I don’t want to make you ashamed of your lovely face and figure, but ship life is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Maybe you should wear your cloak, even if it’s warm.”
“All right, Mother.” Kate’s voice was a mixture of sadness and confusion. Theresa felt like something precious and innocent had just been destroyed. The tho
ught persisted even as Theresa watched Kaitlin go below decks to care for the others. But then she remembered the rough life around the docks of San Francisco and mentally compared them to the relative calm of the ship. Please Lord, she prayed silently, please help Patrick to be on his feet before we land.
“Are things well, Mrs. Donovan?”
Theresa turned to find the Captain addressing her. He was a tall, well-built man and might be considered handsome by some, with his wind-roughened cheeks and full head of steel-gray hair. His eyes were kind and Theresa responded to the kindness she saw there.
“The girls and I are faring better than my husband and son I’m afraid, but we’ll be fine. Thank you for asking.”
The Captain tipped his hat, smiled at Marcail, and moved on toward another family at the railing. Tempted to call him back and complain about the conduct of his men, Theresa was sure, on second thought, she’d be wasting her breath.
“How much longer, Mother, before we see Aunt Maureen?”
“I’m not exactly sure, dear. Much depends on the winds.”
As it turned out, the winds were steady to the east and a week later the docks of Theresa’s previous musings were before her eyes.
Father leaned heavily on the balustrade beside her. As they neared land, he began to adjust to the rolling of the ship and believed himself to be on the way to recovery though he had dropped over 20 pounds. Not so, Sean. He was very shaky, staying on his feet by willpower alone, or so it seemed.
The docks swarmed and buzzed with activity as the ship berthed. Passengers aboard the Pacific Flyer felt the excitement over the imminent disembarking and even Sean perked up a bit.
As the Donovans made their way down the gang plank, Sean leaned heavily on Kate. Marcail’s hand was clenched in the material at the back of her sister’s cloak in a hold that was not to be broken. They moved slowly and close together as Father scanned the docks for someone familiar. He was not disappointed when, before he could spot her, his sister Maureen called and rushed toward them.