by Debbie Civil
Chapter 7
Mom never visited me. Rowan explained that it was because my parents had to fly to California immediately, to make arrangements. But I knew better. She most likely didn’t deem it important to see me. My mother had always done whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, and I accepted that fact long ago. I was released from the hospital on Saturday. As soon as I returned home, I went up to my bedroom and already mourned the loss. How was it going to be possible to leave this place? Deciding that a little reading had to cheer me up, I grabbed a copy of “Little House in the Big Woods” and fell onto my bed. It was the best children’s book on the planet! I was halfway through the part when Pa brings home a wagon full of honey, when I noticed what looked like a placeholder. Funny, I hadn’t remembered rereading this book. Sighing, I pulled the bookmark out and noticed that it was an envelope. No. Not again. Carefully, I tore it open and read the piece of paper inside.
Dear Jessalena,
I’m so happy to hear that you survived. Though, that was a given. You were created to do great things. You just need to weather the storm. Go to California. You’ll be surprised at what you lose if you don’t leave town.
This couldn’t be happening. My cousins were messing with me. Taking the note, I marched out of my room and banged on Rowan’s door. She flung it open, and the scent of daffodils attacked me.
“What?”
“Why did you send this? This isn’t funny.” I shoved the note at her and she eagerly snatched it up. I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for her to burst out laughing and tell me that it was all a joke. Then, Rowan would get a lecture about what she did because it hadn’t been funny. Then, she would buy me ice cream, and that was going to be the end of it. But Rowan’s brown eyes grew wide with confusion as she read the note. When she was finished reading it, she tore up the note, allowing the bits of paper to rain down to the ground.
“Where did you get this?” Her face scrunched up, as if she had just tasted something sour.
“It was tucked in one of my books,” I explained. Rowan’s eyes immediately grew wide and frantic.
“How many letters did you get? Who sent them? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Do Mom and Dad know? Did Kevin find them?”
“Rowan, I got two more letters. I have no idea where they are. In truth, I forgot about them because of everything else. And no, I didn’t tell anyone else. I assumed that you sent them to me as a prank,” I reasoned. Rowan flew back into her room, and I followed. While my room was simple and cozy, her room was bright with peach colored walls, bright comforters, and curtains. She had a multi-colored rug that rested at the side of the bed because my cousin hated stepping on the hardwood, first thing in the morning. I sat on her bed and watched as Rowan carried a shoe box from the closet. She tossed it down on the bed and beckoned me. I reached for one of the envelopes and took a breath as I opened it.
Dear Rowan,
You are a kind person. I trust that you will look after Jessalena until I can claim her. I want to tell you that showing the police my letter was a bad move. No one is going to take this seriously. After all, No one has seen me deliver the letters. Just know that I mean no harm. It just isn’t safe for me to approach Jessalena yet. There are people looking for me, and I won’t show my face.
I dropped the paper, feeling disgust and weariness fill my gut. Rowan had received many letters from this creep and had done nothing. She knew about this unseen stalker, and so did the police. Yet, I wasn’t notified about anything. I was suddenly so weary I could rest for months. What was Rowan thinking?
“Does Aunt Tina and Uncle Calvin know about this?” I softly asked. Rowan sighed.
“Yes. But the letters stopped right after you had your first seizure, so we assumed that the man lost interest. Mom and Dad would freak if they knew that you started getting letters.”
“Why has the stalker never approached me?” I asked, confused. “
I don’t know. Dad seems to think that he just likes writing letters about you. He’s hoping that it never progresses from that.”
“But what if it does?” A sick feeling began inching its way into my stomach.
“Lena, we won’t let anything happen to you. Why do you think that you’re never alone? Why do you think that Kevin always insists on driving you to school? I try to make sure that you are never alone. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t approached you yet,” Rowan mused.
“How does he sneak in the letters?”
“He probably does it when we’re not home. Lena, this has been going on for years. Don’t lose any sleep over it. You’re safe.” Rowan was avoiding the issue. That was obvious. What made it worse was that she expected me to do the same thing?
“Do you want me to go to California?” Rowan bit down on her bottom lip. She drummed her fingers on her lap, considering the idea.
“I’ll have to go with you. Your parents are scatter brained. They won’t be as diligent with your safety. Maybe, the whole family can move. I’ll have to talk to my parents,” my cousin said before leaving the room. It seemed that I was going to be a burden no matter how far I moved. Deciding that this mystery needed to be solved, I read every single letter in the shoe box. But there weren't any clues. The author typed the letters and used the same language. The speaker never divulged any information that could lead back to his identity. Okay, the stalker could have been a girl. But I wasn’t betting on it. All of the movies that I watched over the years suggested that girls rarely ever stalked someone of the same sex. When they did, it was mostly because the person was famous. I wasn’t even popular at school, so no one would ever have been fixated on me.
“What are you reading, Lena?” I shrieked and leaped up, sending all of the letters flying. Madison Twist stood in the doorway, her blue eyes looking tired. I instantly felt guilty for never calling her. I ran over to my friend and embraced her.
“I’m so sorry. I’ve been meaning to call you but…” She abruptly released me and waited patiently for my excuse. When I didn’t offer one, she picked up one of the letters and opened it before I could stop her. After she finished reading the letter, her face paled.
“Lena, this is about you?”
“Yes. Apparently, Rowan has been getting them for years and didn’t bother telling me. I found one addressed to me in one of my books and assumed that Rowan was pranking me. But she wasn’t.” Madison began picking up the envelopes that I dropped. I tried to help her, but she waved me away. Sitting on the bed, I watched as Madison carefully slid each letter into the shoe box, making them look neat and orderly. Peace entered her face when she did the chore, and the reason finally came to me. The girl liked to organize things when her life was a mess. When she was finished, she sat on the bed and determination filled her eyes.
“You have a stalker. That’s clear. But why?” The question was one that she clearly asked herself, but I still responded.
“I’m not sure. It boggles my mind.”
“Listen, Lena, I came over here to check on you. Daisy and Cora have been at my house since the accident happened. We’ve been watching movies, gossiping, and playing board games. I really don’t want to go back there. They are suffocating me. To be truthful, with them, I have to act okay. And I don’t want to be okay. I want to cry. My father died. But no one’s letting me do that. As soon as I start crying, everyone gets uncomfortable and pats my back. If I have to hear that everything will be okay, one more time, I will kill someone. I…” Madison’s tears began flowing down her face. Rowan had a decorative tissue holder, and it was fully stocked. I snagged a handful of tissues and handed them one by one to my grieving friend. She must have cried for a while. But it didn’t matter. Madison wanted to grieve, not put on a show for everyone. After her cry fest ended, the girl’s face was splotchy, and her eyes were red. But her shoulder’s slumped in relief, as if she was relieved that the flood was over.
“I am truly sorry about your father. He was a nice man.” My comment made her quirk a brow.
/> “You hardly spoke to him.” I sighed and told Madison about the first time I was admitted in the hospital. She laughed so hard that tears leaked from her eyes.
“Oh, Lena, I… I… I forgot about your try-out. You… You were the best one. It was too bad that… People did really dance like penguins.” She had to be hysterical. When she calmed down, Madison’s eyes rested on my forehead. “How are you feeling?”
“Overwhelmed.” She nodded in understanding.
“Don’t tell Daisy and Cora about the stalker. They are upset with you. My guess is that Cora wanted a chance to date Elias, and she thinks that you wrecked it for her.”
“I didn’t. He isn’t allowed to date anyone. Besides, he felt sorry that Daisy hurt my feelings and wanted to show her that I was desirable. It was all an act.”
“Did he really follow you into the bathroom?”
“Yes. And when Daisy and Cora came in, he hid in the bathroom stall. I tried to warn her, but she just went on and on. It was awkward because I lied to Elias about why I was upset.”
“That must have been pretty awkward. What did he say to you?”
“Nothing. He just told me something about not being late for class, and we went on our way. I had no idea what he had been planning.”
“He sounds like a good friend,” Madison commented.
“But I’ve been a lousy friend to him. When he visited me in the hospital, I hadn’t asked him about Ryan. I didn’t know that he…”
“He woke up. But he’s in a lot of pain. I saw him this morning.”
“Oh. I’ll have to ask Rowan to drive me over tomorrow,” I figured.
“I wouldn’t mind taking you. I’m going there anyways. I promised Ryan that I’d bring him a book to read.”
“You really like him?” She blushed, which made a wide grin stretch my face.
“He’s nice. I…” Daisy flew into the room, her eyes growing wide when she spotted Madison’s face.
“Madison, seeing Lena upset you?” Something about how she said, “Lena” like she really wanted to replace my name with something insulting caused me to sit up straighter.
“Hi Daisy. It’s nice to finally see you.” Daisy’s eyes landed on me, and she scanned my body and shook her head.
“You’re alive. Jose told me that you had an attack. Nothing’s new about that.” Daisy said those words as if my illness was my fault. I glared at her.
“I didn’t ask for any of this.” The stalker, Mr. Twist dying, and the drama, were all building blocks of stress.
“Of course. Your friend’s father is dead, and all you can think about is yourself. Personally, I have no idea why he died instead of you. You’re sick, and he was a doctor who saved lives. Sometimes life isn’t fair.” Her words sliced a well of grief and self-loathing open. In one way, Daisy was right. Doctor Twist was a healthy man, and I was constantly getting ill. Why was he taken instead of me? But then, the anger roared through me. My right ear screeched in protest. The air became cold. My vision blurred as the lights began to flicker. Gravity began to lose its hold on me. And that’s when I began to think. “No. This is not right. She can’t say that. I can’t just sit here as she tells me that I don’t deserve to live. This is sad, really sad. But none of this is my fault. Why can’t anyone see that it isn’t my fault? Why can’t they understand what I’m going through? Why is Daisy so mean to me? She can’t be mean to me. She can’t say these things. She has no right. Why is she so mean? After all I’ve done for her she’s being mean to me? No! This won’t happen anymore.” With a howl, pain surged through my veins, shot down my right arm and out of my fingertips. Rowan’s window exploded, allowing the rushing wind to enter. The roaring subsided, and the room filled with screams.
“What happened?” Uncle Calvin asked as he stomped into the room. I sat up and looked around. Daisy was huddled in the corner, shaking. Madison stood over me, her eyes wide, and her hands shaking. “Which one of you girls broke the window?”
“None of us,” Madison assured him. “It just shattered.” I was suddenly exhausted, and Uncle Calvin had to help me up.
“Are you feeling alright, Lena?” He was worried, but would never say so. The man was gruff, and hardly ever spoke.
“Yes.” That was the truth. The anger subsided along with the rage. In fact, I didn’t feel anything but an eerie calm that made me shudder. It was the type of calm that said that I had no control over what was going on, so I shouldn’t worry about it.