by Elena Carter
“I’m gonna stop at the flower shop first and buy some flowers. Then I’ll get a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates. I’m gonna go see Alice. I’m gonna act normal, and I’m gonna have a great time. It’s not her fault she lives on Hummingbird Lane.”
She wasn’t sure about the last thought, but talking to herself, no matter how weird it sounded, always made her feel better. This time was no exception—she even smiled all of a sudden, and it wasn’t forced.
At the flower shop, Tina picked the most beautiful geranium shoe could find. It had large coral flowers and was planted in a dark green ceramic pot. She had always loved flowers and flower shops. She was even a little bit envious of people who worked there, because it was a paradise place, filled with beauty and amazing scents. However, when she’d shared her thoughts with a staff member at a shop once, she was surprised to hear they got used to working there after a while. They actually stopped noticing the beauty, and the aromas could even become annoying. She was sure, though, that if she worked in a flower shop, it would never happen to her.
A bit later, with a geranium, a bottle of wine, and a box of chocolates in a gift bag, she stepped out of a cab in front of Alice’s house. The view was indeed breathtaking. At first, Tina wasn’t sure if she’d ever been in that part of town before, but, looking at the house, she knew that she most definitely hadn’t. It was not a sight to forget.
Flowers drowned the house so it looked more like an illustration from a fairy tale. Tina took several minutes to enjoy the beauty from outside, before she started walking toward the front door. The path leading to the house had sumptuous blue hydrangeas on both sides, with an impeccable lush green lawn behind them.
Geraniums were everywhere. On the porch, in every window, on the little balcony on the second floor, above the front door. All shades of red, pink, purple, coral, and white, they were planted in pots and container of various sizes. For someone who loved flowers, this house really did look like a piece of paradise.
Tina strolled, taking in all the beauty around her as she made her way to the door.
She admired the vintage brass door knocker that was shaped as a rose, but she didn’t get a chance to knock, as the door opened straight away.
Alice stood there, looking excited, as if she was a grandmother who hadn’t seen her granddaughter for ages.
“Tina, dear, I’m so happy to see you. I was getting worried.” Alice gave her a hug. She smelled of a light floral perfume and freshly baked pastry.
“This is for you.” Tina handed her the flower and the bag with wine and chocolates. “I wasn’t sure what to get, but I remember you liked red wine, am I right?”
“Shiraz! How did you know it was my favorite?” Alice peeked into the bag and her face lit up.
“I didn’t. But it’s my favorite, too.”
“Another thing we have in common,” Alice said. She sounded so proud that it made Tina smile. She had completely let go of all her worries and doubts to feel relaxed and happy—as if she was, indeed, visiting her beloved grandmother. A feeling she hadn’t experienced in a while as her parents and grandparents were long gone.
“Come on in, dear. Let’s take this to the kitchen, and I’ll make us some coffee. Don’t like to boast, but I am sure you have never tried anything like my coffee.”
Tina followed Alice to the kitchen. “I can’t wait to try it.”
A little later, at a small table in the garden, after finishing the delicious peach cobbler, Tina sipped wine while Alice was telling her about her last husband, Richard, who mysteriously disappeared.
“What did the police say?” Tina asked. “I can’t believe that one day a person can disappear, and no one can do anything about it.”
“What could they do? Apart from questioning me as the main suspect?”
“Oh my God, I can’t even try to imagine what you must have felt.” Tina shook her head.
“It was rather unpleasant, but I could only tell them the truth. I woke up and Richard wasn’t there. The main door was locked from inside, the key was in the door, all windows were shut, everything was how we left it before going to bed. Well, except I went to bed alone, and Richard said he would work some more in the basement.”
“Was he painting?”
“Yes. He wanted to finish a painting, and he loved working at night. Not that anyone would disturb him in the daytime. It was just the two of us, and I never went down there. But he used to say working at night felt better—that’s when he had the creative flow.”
“I understand him.” Tina nodded. “Sometimes I enjoy working at night, too. There’s something special about it.”
“I prefer sleeping.” Alice laughed. “Going into the world of dreams, you know …”
“I do,” Tina said. “So Richard was up late, painting in the basement, and you went to sleep?”
“Yes. I didn’t wait for him because I knew he would take his time. Sometimes he would work until sunrise. But he always had breakfast with me. Never missed a single morning. He would always wake up when I did, even if he went to sleep only an hour or two before.”
“To have breakfast with you?”
“Yes. He always said it was important to start the day together. Later in the day, he would take a nap, but in the morning, he would always get up and go downstairs to the kitchen with me. And there were no exceptions. Until that day …” She sighed.
Tina frowned, knowing the story didn’t have a happy ending.
“I woke up that day,” Alice continued, “and Richard wasn’t there. I thought that maybe he went to the bathroom. His side of the bed looked slept in, so I figured he got up earlier than me and went to take a shower. I got up, put my dressing gown on, and headed to the kitchen. When I was passing the bathroom, the door was open, and the light was off. Richard wasn’t there. I went downstairs, and he wasn’t there either.”
“I can imagine how worried you must have been,” Tina said.
“Not at first. Actually, I thought he went back down to the basement. I did find it a bit strange, but I thought, maybe he decided to work some more. So I started making breakfast, thinking I’d call him when it’s ready. And I did. Only he didn’t respond.”
“Oh, Alice …”
“I called his name several times, standing by the door. I could hear there wasn’t any music on, so he should have been able to hear me. That’s when I started to worry. I went back up, checked all the rooms, all the windows, and the main door again. It was clear no one had left the house.” She shrugged. “I went back to the basement door, opened it, and called him again. There was no response. Even the light was off. I hesitated, but then took a deep breath and decided to go down there.”
“Why was there no light? Did you have a torch?” Tina asked.
“I switched it on. It looked like he’d turned the light off when leaving the room, so I had a feeling I wouldn’t find him there either.”
“And you didn’t …”
“No. The workshop was empty. The painting he had been working on was on the easel in the center of the room. It was finished. And Richard had vanished.”
Alice took a sip of her drink and leaned back. “I waited for Richard to show up. Although, a part of me knew he wouldn’t.”
“That must’ve been terrible.” Tina shook her head. “Just waiting when there’s nothing you can do—when nothing depends on you. I hate waiting.”
“Yes, as they say, there’s nothing worse than waiting and catching up.”
“My grandma used to say that.”
“It’s true, to an extent. Sometimes, the results are worth the struggle and inconvenience. But I’ve never been a patient person. I prefer action.”
“What did you do?”
“There wasn’t much I could do. His phone was turned off, and I found it in the basement. I looked everywhere, but I knew he hadn’t left the house because it was locked from the inside. Frankly speaking, I was in shock. It was all absurd …” Alice paused with a heavy sigh.
> “You must have felt scared and lonely,” Tina said.
“Weirdly, a part of me knew two things: that he was all right, and that he wasn’t coming back. But, yes, I did feel lost and lonely in the beginning. I still get the feeling sometimes.” Alice sighed. “Oh, dear, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have loaded you with all that. You’ll think I’m crazy.”
“Not at all,” Tina exclaimed. “I know exactly how it feels. To be waiting, while at the same time knowing he isn’t coming back.”
Tina shifted in her seat, avoiding Alice’s gaze. She seemed to have surprised herself by saying it out loud.
She shook her head, took a sip of wine, and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You didn’t, my dear. And there is nothing to be sorry for,” Alice said with genuine care in her voice. “You know, something tells me that you never talk about it, but today you might. It’s not me being nosy, but sometimes things need to be shared. Otherwise, they weigh too much. They are like rocks on the bottom of your heart, but you can turn them into butterflies and set them free. Trust me, I know.”
Tina hesitated.
“Turning rocks into butterflies sounds pretty cool.” A sad smile played on her lips. “Sounds like magic.”
“Sometimes, magic is simpler and easier than we think.” Alice tilted her head to the side, looking straight at Tina.
“I lost my husband, Greg, in a car accident half a year ago,” Tina said.
“I am sorry, my dear,” Alice whispered, barely audible.
Tina nodded. “He was with his friend, Bob. I still don’t know what exactly happened. Bob was driving, there were no other cars involved, and they were on a mountain road. Police said he lost control. The car turned over several times and hit a tree. They died instantly.”
Silence filled the air around them. Tina stared into the distance, and Alice looked at her with eyes full of tears, wanting to comfort her, but knowing it wasn’t a good time to say anything.
“You know … time doesn’t really heal anything, no matter what they say. And even though I know he isn’t coming back, a part of me is still waiting.” Tina shrugged.
“I understand,” Alice said quietly. “I really do.”
“I’m sorry. Your situation is different, of course. It was insensitive of me.” Tina bit her lip, regretting her sudden revelation.
“Absolutely not, my dear.”
“What I mean is, Richard didn’t die. He disappeared, but he might still … I mean, you must be hoping … Oh, I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t speak at all.” Tina buried her face in her hands.
“I know what you are trying to say. I will even dare to say that I know how you feel.” Alice reached out and placed her hand on Tina’s shoulder. “Time doesn’t magically heal anything. We heal our own wounds. However, time allows us to grow and change our perspectives. It shows us that we have the right and the responsibility to choose what we think, how we feel, and whether we move on. Time can be an ally, but at the end of the day, the call is ours.”
Tina listened closely, resting her chin on her clasped hands.
“I know Richard won’t just appear on the porch all of a sudden. Won’t knock on the door. That’s the truth I decided to live with, even though a part of me is hoping. Waiting. Wondering. But I know that wherever he is, he’s happy. Everything that happened, happened for a reason. It was his path. He followed it.”
Tina wrinkled her forehead. “A path? Leading where?”
Alice took a deep breath. “To another life. I guess that is the best way to put it.”
“Do you mean the afterlife?”
“Not exactly. Well, maybe you can call it that. Although, I’m not sure. People came up with this concept of the afterlife, but have they ever asked themselves if there should be a beforelife?”
“Sounds fair.” Tina chuckled. “What would that be like, though?”
“Hard to say. We don’t know what the afterlife is like, either. Most of the time we don’t really know what life is at all.”
“True.” Tina nodded. “What did you mean by ‘another life’ for Richard?”
“I want to explain it to you, but I’m not sure I completely understand it myself, and you might think I am crazy. There’s a great chance you will, actually.”
“Try me,” Tina said as the corner of her lips curled up.
“Before I start, what do you say to me pouring us some more wine and then we could go down to the basement and look at Richard’s paintings?”
The idea of going to the basement made Tina feel a little nervous, but curiosity took over.
“Sure,” she said. “I’d love to.”
Tina and Alice stood in Richard’s studio in the basement, looking at his paintings.
“I love this place,” Tina said. “There’s something about it. It’s so cozy. I’d be working in here for hours too.”
“Richard had many talents. One of them was creating the right atmosphere. He could always make things better. People, surroundings, circumstances,” Alice said with a smile. “It used to be just a messy storage room.”
“I usually don’t like rooms with no windows—they make me feel trapped—but this one makes me feel different.”
“Same. I love windows. With a nice view, some flowers on the windowsill, and a cat.”
They both laughed.
“Speaking of flowers, these blue tulips are amazing.” Tina pointed to the painting on the easel. “Tulips are one of my favorite flowers. It’s absolutely fascinating how many different shapes and colors they can have. Although, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen this kind of blue.”
“I’m not sure this kind of blue tulips exist at all. But these were the ones he had a dream about. He was obsessed with them for several days.”
“A dream?” Tina gazed at Alice, raising her eyebrows.
“Yes, he used to get a lot of ideas and inspiration from dreams. What do you think of dreams?” Alice headed for the stairs.
“What do you mean?” Tina followed her, throwing one last glance at the room. However, they couldn’t stay there forever, and the conversation was becoming intriguing.
“Do you have dreams?” Alice asked.
“Of course.”
“Some people don’t. Can you imagine that?”
Tina paused for a second before taking the next step. “Not really, to be honest. That must be awful.”
“I agree. Although, I guess they don’t suffer, since they don’t know what they’re missing.” Alice shut the basement door behind them. “How about a cup of coffee in the living room?”
“With pleasure.”
They walked into the spacious living room filled with sunshine. Flower pots were everywhere. Tina gazed around and her lips quirked. She liked Alice’s taste in interior design.
The walls were mostly decorated with paintings, except for the one opposite the large windows that were framed with floral curtains. That wall was occupied by shelves, stacked with all kinds of stones and crystals. Amethyst druzies, ranging from light purple to dark violet; quartz geodes, shining as if hundreds of little suns were trapped inside the crystals; points; pyramids; spheres of different colors and sizes. Tina could have stood there forever, looking at those treasures. She almost felt like she was in a museum, only here Alice would most probably allow her to touch anything she wanted.
While Tina was admiring the gemstone collection, Alice went into the kitchen, which was separated from the living room by an arch.
“What do you think about cinnamon, cardamom, and pepper in your coffee?” she asked.
“I think it’s a perfect combination,” Tina replied. “Just the way I like it.”
“Me too. Sometimes I also add mint, but I don’t think I have any at the moment.”
“That’s okay. I’m sure it will be great without it. I can already smell the magic.”
“Oh, I love that smell, too. I always heat the coffee with spices first, before adding
water. And you’re absolutely, right, it is magic. In the kitchen, I turn into a witch sometimes.” Alice laughed. “But you have nothing to worry about, my dear. My magic is one hundred percent white.”
“I have no doubt about that,” Tina said.
She was fascinated by a large polished labradorite on the shelf. At a certain angle, it shone from inside with all shades of blue. “This labradorite is amazing.”
“Isn’t it? It’s my favorite. It’s believed to be created from frozen fire. Aurora Borealis in a stone. It’s very spiritual.”
“Really?”
“It’s used to reach a deeper spiritual consciousness. To remind us anything is possible and there’s much more than the world we see around us.”
Alice walked into the living room, holding a tray with two small cups of coffee and tall glasses with water. The room instantly filled with the aroma of coffee and spices.
She set the tray on the hall table and sat down on the sofa. Tina joined her, nestling down in a soft armchair. She picked up a cup of delicate china and closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling the aroma.
“So dreams,” she said, opening her eyes. “We were speaking about dreams.”
“Yes, there are many theories about dreams. People still haven’t really figured out what they are.”
“Well, scientists think they have. Games of the subconsciousness, something like that, isn’t it?”
“Do you think it’s that simple?” Alice tilted her head.
“As a kid, I would think there was something magical about them, but we become skeptical as we grow.”
“Only if we chose to.”
“You’re right, I guess. These days, I don’t even know what to believe anymore,” Tina replied.
“What changed?” Curiosity filled Alice’s voice.
“Some of my dreams became weirder than others,” Tina shrugged.
“Weirdness is what makes them beautiful, if you ask me.” Alice laughed. “Dreams are complicated. They can be a blessing or a curse. They can be exciting or terrifying. But I think they are definitely more than what scientists limit them to.”