“What are you thinking?”
“The only reason he would stay away is if she has something she can use against him. Something that could ruin him if it were ever discovered. She agrees to keep it out of the press in exchange for him letting her go.”
“Those envelopes… the day we moved her from the apartment, remember she had two envelopes hidden that she insisted she take with her?”
“That’s what gave me the thought when you said she was abused. First, I assumed they were childhood mementos or maybe paperwork she wanted to keep safe, but now I wonder if they weren’t her insurance policy.”
“I assumed the same thing.”
“I’ll start digging into who her ex might have been and will let you know as soon as I find something on him, sir.”
“Very good. And Carter… thank you for returning a day early.”
“Of course, sir.”
The next few days pass by slowly. Kenzie doesn’t respond to my flowers even though I have Carter sending them daily to her apartment. I know she received them; Hunter confirmed that she has them. Why hasn’t she called me? Did I fuck things up that badly with her? What if she has decided she needs to end our arrangement? The thought of not seeing her again makes me feel… I don’t know what. As luck would have it, I have nothing on my schedule this week that I need Kenzie to accompany me to so I can’t even use that excuse to see her. I’m tempted to schedule something anyway, to call Bridget and ask her to arrange for a private date with Kenzie, but what if that just fucks up things even more between us?
Want to grab a drink? –N
Sure… what’s up? –A
The Scorekeeper? – N
I’ll see you in 15 –A
“Carter?” I call out, knowing he’s somewhere nearby and can hear me.
“Yes, sir?”
“I’m going to go to The Scorekeeper for a few drinks.” If Carter is surprised, he doesn’t show it. The Scorekeeper is a sports bar, not far from the office where Alex and I have gone a few times after work to grab a drink. It’s not a bad place, but why leave the condo when I have access to finer liquors than a sports bar would have?
I need to talk to someone about this mess and how the fuck to fix it, but I’m limited to who I can talk to because of how Kenzie and I are involved. I can’t go to my mom; not only would she not understand why I’m doing this, but then she would know that I’ve been lying to her. My brother is destined to forever be a bachelor; he has no desire to commit to one woman so he’s probably not the greatest option either. I could probably get advice from Cara, but I don’t know that I trust her to not slip and accidently tell someone about the contract I have with Kenzie. So that leaves Alex. He’s proven himself over the years, and I trust that he wouldn’t share this with anyone else. He knows the shit I went through two years ago after that fucking situation blew up in my face and nearly ruined me.
“Nicholas.” Alex nods as he walks over to the table where I already have his favorite beer waiting.
“Alex.”
“What’s up?”
“I fucked up, Alex… big time. I need you to tell me how to fix it. I’ve been sending her flowers… something I’ve never done! They aren’t working, though. I thought all women wanted flowers?”
“Whoa… who are you sending flowers to and why?”
“Kenzie.”
“I’m not a mind reader, Nicholas… you’re going to have to give me more information if we’re going to sort through this.”
I spend the next few minutes giving him the very basic information about our arrangement; I leave out Bridget’s company, letting him think that the contract is just between Kenzie and me.
“Fuck, Parker,” he laughs. “You took my advice.”
“Your advice was to hire a prostitute,” I growl. “Kenzie is not a fucking prostitute.”
“Relax Parker, my advice was to hire someone—you inferred I was talking about a prostitute.”
“You meant something like this?”
“I’ve heard about people using similar services before.”
“Why didn’t you suggest that?”
“After the way you reacted? I figured the last thing you’d consider would be to hire someone to be by your side. I was going to give it a little longer, and if the press didn’t start backing off, I would have said something privately to you.”
“Can you help me figure out how the hell I fix this?”
“Why me?”
“You’ve been with Ella fucking forever; you must have learned a few things over the years.” I shrug. “Look, I need advice and don’t know who the fuck to talk to because I can’t have this arrangement with Kenzie leaked.”
“Ella might disagree and say I have no idea what women want sometimes,” he laughs. “But tell me what you did to fuck up.”
“We went out Friday night to the awards dinner. I gave the speech… and then she kissed me.”
“This was the first time you’ve kissed, I assume?”
“Yes… she initiated it.”
“Does that bother you?”
“No… yes… I don’t know.”
“Okay, then what?”
“I came down with food poisoning from my meal. Carter and Kenzie brought me back to The Accord and my mother saw me. She wanted to admit me into the hospital but agreed to let me stay at home if someone was there the entire time to watch over me. Carter and Julie were off for the weekend—they were attending Julie’s niece’s wedding or something like that. I was really out of it, I think I was sleeping or passed out when it was decided Kenzie would stay the weekend with me.”
“Okay…”
“So things seemed to be fine, I was shocked when I woke up on Saturday and learned that not only was she spending the weekend in my apartment, but that she had slept in my bedroom.”
“Get to the part where you fucked up man…”
“Anyway, we spent the day together just hanging out in my apartment. My mother stopped by and refused to allow Kenzie to leave, threatening me if I told her to go home that she would admit me into the hospital. Finally, on Sunday, my mother came back and cleared me and said Kenzie could leave, that I no longer needed someone to watch over me. That’s when I really fucked things up with Kenzie.”
“What’d you do?”
“When she said she was going to leave, I asked her to come into my office and I gave her a check for twenty thousand dollars. She refused to take it, Alex! Can you believe it?”
“Fuck, I’ll take a check, Parker, if you’re handing them out. Why didn’t she take it? I assume the twenty thousand was above the rate you agreed to because it was last minute.”
“She said she didn’t do it because of the contract we had. I tried telling her that I was just trying to compensate her for the time she spent taking care of me but she wouldn’t hear of it.”
“How did things end?”
“She told me the reason she stayed had nothing to do with the contract we have. I asked her again why did she stay then. The first time she told me if I didn’t know the answer to that then I didn’t know her very well at all.”
“And the second time you asked that question?”
“She said goodbye and walked out of the apartment.”
“Shit.”
“I’ve sent her flowers every fucking day, apologizing and asking her to call me. She hasn’t responded! Not once! I don’t know how to make her forgive me, Alex! Tell me what I need to do! I thought all women wanted flowers! I need to fix this! I can’t have her end our contract!”
“Why not, Nicholas? You told me this arrangement was only going to last a few months, just long enough to get the press off your back about your personal life. It’s been… what… two months—“
“Almost three.”
“It sounds like the time was approaching to end the contract anyway. Did you want to be the one to end it… is that what this is about?”
“No.”
“Then why would it bother you if Kenz
ie ended the contract now?”
“Because I don’t want to break the contract,” I finally admit aloud.
“Why not?”
“Because our arrangement works. I get the press off my back and Kenzie gets the money she needs to go back to school. It’s a win-win situation for everyone.”
“They have backed off, but is that the only reason you don’t want to end the contract with her?”
“No. I enjoy spending time with Kenzie. I learned a lot about her this weekend and enjoyed having her with me. I think… we’ve become friends.”
“Have you told her that?”
“No! Why would I?”
“Maybe she feels the same way?”
“I… I don’t know. I guess.”
“Why do you think she stayed with you this weekend, Parker? You’re the smartest fucking guy I know; think about what you just said.”
“Because she thinks of me as a friend?”
“It sounds like she cares for you.”
“My mom thinks we’re in love.” I shake my head, remembering the conversation with her in my kitchen that day.
“Shit, really?” He sits back in his seat, the surprise evident on his face.
“She says she can tell by the way we look at each other. I guess Kenzie and I are just better actors than I thought we were.”
“Is it—“
“No!”
“Why not?”
“This is business, Alex. Nothing more than a contract between two people. I’m not fucking going down that road again. I’m not opening myself up and letting someone… I’m not repeating my past.”
“And you think Kenzie is like—“
“No, of course not. The fact that she didn’t take the money proves that she isn’t.”
“Is that what it was about?”
“What do you mean?”
“Was the money a test?”
“No! Of course not!”
“Are you sure? You offered her a very large amount of money after she spent the weekend in your home, caring for you. Is it possible that you needed to find out if she was just like—“
“Don’t fucking compare Kenzie to that bitch! Kenzie is nothing like her!”
“And her not taking the check proves that, doesn’t it?”
“Yes! I mean, no… it’s not just that.”
“It’s not?”
“No! Kenzie couldn’t be more different than she was!”
“Yet, you thought she stayed with you this weekend because of money.”
FUCK, could Alex be right? Could I have been testing Kenzie without knowing it? I thought I was just doing the right thing: I thought I was helping Kenzie out after she helped me.
“Do you think that’s how she saw it?”
“I don’t know. She could have felt like you were trying to be nice, she could have felt that you were trying to buy her off, or she could have felt like a whore—“
“What?! Don’t you talk about Kenzie like that!”
“Parker, you’re an idiot sometimes.” The bastard is fucking smirking at me! “Have you thought about it from her perspective? You kissed for the first time and spent the entire weekend together. Then as soon as your mother said you didn’t need her there any longer, you offer her money and essentially kick her out.”
“That’s not—“
“Yeah, it is.”
FUCK! Does she really feel like I treated her like a whore? That I was ungrateful for what she did?
“How the fuck do I fix this, Alex? I can’t have her thinking that about herself. Tell me what to do; tell me how to fix this.”
“You need to talk to her, moron. Flowers are wonderful, but it sounds like Kenzie is not the type of woman who wants, or needs, material items. You need to talk to her.”
“How can I fucking talk to her if she won’t call me?”
“Find a way, Nicholas. Get her alone and talk to her. Maybe you should tell her about what happened two years ago. She needs to understand why you thought that she wouldn’t have stayed just because she cared about you.”
“Everyone always wants something from me… anyone else would have expected something from me for what she did.”
“Your parents wouldn’t have.”
“Of course not, but Kenzie’s not my family; she isn’t obligated to take care of me!”
“You’re right, she choose to spend the weekend with you, without expecting anything in return.”
“I just wanted to thank her for taking care of me, for canceling her plans and spending the entire weekend in my apartment instead of her own. Why the fuck was that so wrong?”
“Did you say that to her?”
“Yes…” I did… didn’t I? FUCK! Maybe I didn’t.
“Parker… tell me you fucking thanked her!”
“I don’t know. I thought I did, but I don’t remember.”
“When you gave her the money, what did you say?”
“I told her it was payment for her time.” I cringe even repeating those words. I’m embarrassed at myself, thinking back to how I handled the entire situation. How the fuck did I not think to thank her? I mean, I did earlier at some point, but not when I gave her the check, which is when everything changed.
“You didn’t fucking thank her, Parker? No wonder she saw this as a pay off! You need to find a way to thank her.”
“I’ve been trying, Alex! The flowers aren’t working.”
“No, and I doubt they will. I think you need to find a different way to thank Kenzie. Think of something she wants to do or maybe somewhere she would like to go. Don’t make this about publicity or your image. In fact, if you can do something alone, it would go a long way in showing her you don’t have an ulterior motive.”
An idea pops into my head the moment Alex suggests doing something that Kenzie would like to do away from the press.
“I can do that.”
“And Nicholas? Don’t fucking pay her at the end of the day.”
Chapter 24
Kenzie
My apartment is beginning to look like a florist shop! Nicholas has been sending me flowers every day this week; each beautiful floral arrangement comes with the same card that reads “I’m sorry; call me.” If I knew what to say to him, I would call him. If I thought he knew what he was apologizing for, I would call him. I don’t think he understands how or why what he did upsets me. Hell, I don’t fully understand myself why it bothered me so much. I’ve been trying to figure that out all week. On one hand, I can see why maybe he felt obligated to pay me. That was, after all, what our arrangement has been up until this weekend: It’s been about him paying me for my time. Granted, the payment was sent through Bridget, but the premise still remains—he paid for my time. On the other hand though, I felt like that weekend went far beyond the arrangement we had until that point. We got to know each other on a much more personal level. Maybe that wasn’t how he viewed the weekend?
I haven’t spent any real time completely alone with a man in more than two years. When I left him that night, I swore I would never place myself at risk again. That I would never trust a man that much ever again, which meant that I would never be completely alone with one.
It was one of my initial concerns I brought up with Bridget when she first approached me about signing a contract. I refused to meet with him alone in his office or go on business trips with someone until I felt comfortable. Yet, thinking back to the conversation with Vivienne and Carter, none of those thoughts ever impacted my decision to stay the weekend with Nicholas. What’s more surprising though is that at no point did I feel unsafe or at risk being alone with Nicholas. Maybe it was because I knew that Hunter was nearby…
Beep beep beep
Even though I’ve already been awake for a couple of hours, my alarm goes off, pulling me from my thoughts. After waking up at four every morning this week, my body seems to just wake up at that time naturally. I wasn’t originally scheduled to work today… in fact, I was kind of looking forward to having
a day off since I’ve been working every day this week. Unfortunately, one of the new girls that Ginny hired needed to change her schedule today, so Ginny asked me to work a few hours. The only nice thing was I didn’t need to be at the bakery until ten, meaning I could have slept a while longer.
Bridget called me yesterday and gave me the schedule for the next two weeks. Nicholas has a few events he needs to attend that he has asked for me to accompany him to. I was surprised that he was still requesting me. When I first saw her name appear on my caller ID, I just assumed she was calling to let me know that Nicholas had decided to terminate our arrangement. In the split second before I answered the call, I started to panic about where I was going to live. In fact, that thought hasn’t been far from my mind all week.
Thankfully, because I haven’t been paying rent, I’ve been able to save a decent amount of money that I’ve received from Bridget. I probably have enough that now I could afford the security deposit and first month’s rent on a decent apartment. My concern though is how I would maintain that apartment once my savings account dried up. I don’t want to go back to the shitty apartment or one like it that I rented before. I want to live in a place that I feel safe walking into without worrying about people getting drunk or high on my front steps.
Beep beep beep
My alarm reminds me that I really need to get out of bed and get ready for my shift at the bakery today. I’m only going in for a few hours, so afterwards I plan to get caught up on laundry and maybe do some shopping for the events Bridget called me about.
I still have to figure out what to do about Nicholas… I know I need to talk to him, but I don’t know how to explain why he hurt me. I guess it bothered me the most because I trusted him in spending that much time alone with him yet I didn’t feel that he trusted me. Trust isn’t the right word; of course he trusted me—why wouldn’t he?
Now that I think more about it, I may have overreacted to what he did. Clearly he didn’t see our arrangement as anything but a contract, and he was acting out that part by offering me money. I overreacted because clearly I thought the weekend was about more than the contract. I thought we were developing a friendship and that he would see that I offered to stay with him because we were friends and not because of a contract. Realizing I overreacted, I vow to call Nicholas as soon as I go back to the apartment this afternoon. I don’t know exactly what I will say, but I know I need to apologize to him.
The Arrangement Duet Box Set Page 24