It took me a long time to finally fall asleep last night; my mind kept racing, trying to figure out how to fix things. Once I finally fell asleep, it wasn’t long before a nightmare set in. What surprised me was that the nightmare ended so quickly—they never end so fast. I was stunned to feel Kenzie’s lips on mine, her hand in mine and her tongue gently coaxing my mouth open. Still shaking from the nightmare, I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her close to me, needing to feel her body against mine. Almost instantly I was calmed down and the memory of the nightmare was gone.
I eventually fell asleep again last night, and until the bright sun woke me up only a few minutes ago, I slept soundly. As I watch Kenzie sleep next to me, I realize that this is the perfect opportunity to finally clear the air between us. She’s lying next to me, my arms are around her, so she can’t easily leave like she did yesterday. Well, I suppose she could but since tying her to bed isn’t an option, this is probably the best chance I have for keeping her in one place long enough to at least listen to me. Now… if only I could figure out what the hell I should say to her.
“You’re thinking too hard,” Kenzie mumbles without opening her eyes.
I chuckle at how in tuned she is to me right now.
“Kenzie,” I sigh before rolling on my side, so we are now facing each other. I pull her closer to me, needing to again feel her body against mine. Her hand teases my hair while the other is resting on my arm.
“Did you sleep okay after…?”
“I did, thank you… for coming to me, for waking me up.”
“I didn’t know what to do. I needed to wake you up, but I was so afraid of touching you and making it worse.”
“Kenzie, I… I can’t apologize enough for yesterday—”
“It’s not—”
“It is. I know you want to ignore what you heard, because you think it will be easier, but we can’t do that. I hurt you and I will never forget the look in your eyes when you walked in after hearing what I said.”
“Nicholas,” she tries to pull away from me, but I wrap my arm a little tighter around her waist.
I’m not holding her tight enough to freak her out (at least I don’t think I am), but I’m holding her tight enough that she can’t just easily get off the bed and leave.
“What you overheard was Alex pushing me, but what I said wasn’t about you Kenzie. I need you to know that it had nothing to do with you—”
“Hmmmm,” I can hear the sarcasm clearly; she is no longer looking at me, her gaze now fixed on my shirt.
“Kenzie, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.”
“Please, don’t give me the ‘it’s not, you it’s me’ line. Look, I get it: you can’t love me. I don’t see the point in hashing this out any further. I don’t know why you’re so intent on us talking about it and making things more awkward between us. Please, just let me up so I can take a shower and get dressed.”
“No.”
“No?”
“No. You’ve been avoiding me since yesterday, and I’m not going to let you continue doing it. I never said that I can’t love you—”
“You did!”
“No, I didn’t, damn it! What I said was that I can’t fall in love with you. There’s a big difference!”
“It’s the same thing.”
“No. Not being able to love you means you don’t have any qualities that someone would find loveable. Nothing could be further from the truth. You’re kind, generous, strong, beautiful, sexy, trustworthy and just fucking amazing. When I said that I couldn’t fall in love with you, it wasn’t because I didn’t see those qualities in you. I see them every damn day that we spend together!”
She doesn’t say anything—I don’t know if she’s still listening to me or if she’s just tuning me out.
“Kenzie,” I sigh trying to figure out what the hell I can say to her to fix this. “I… I’m fucking scared.”
“What are you scared of?” her voice is barely above a whisper, but at least I know she’s not tuning me out.
“I thought… I thought I fell in love once. Looking back, I realize now that what I felt for her wasn’t love at all. But it doesn’t change how things ended. I nearly lost everything when… I can’t do that again. I… I just can’t.”
“I get it, I really do.”
“You mean more to me than she ever did. I trust you more than I have anyone in my life. I care so much about you, Kenzie, which is why seeing you hurt yesterday because of something I did nearly killed me—”
“I’m sorry—”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. It was damn bad luck that you walked in when you did; you could have heard any other part of that call with Alex, and it wouldn’t have hurt you. Instead, as fate would have it, you walked in the moment I said the worst possible thing. This week… I’ve really enjoyed spending this week with you, more than I ever expected to. I feel like we’ve become closer than we were before…”
“We have,” she whispers in admission.
“I don’t know how to tell you how much you mean to me. Somehow over the last few months, you have weaved your way into my life. You somehow get me like no one ever has. I have no idea how, but you manage to keep the nightmares away simply by sleeping next to me. You’re the only woman I’ve ever shared a bed with, the only one I’ve ever trusted enough to sleep next to me. I don’t know how to classify what we have: it surpassed a business arrangement months ago, and I think in the past week we’ve also surpassed just being friends. We’ve somehow become more…”
“I’m so sorry I walked in yesterday when I did. I wish I had just texted you like you asked—”
“Stop apologizing, you didn’t do this.”
“I wish we could just forget that yesterday happened. I’ve really been enjoying this week and spending time with you. I missed sleeping next to you last night; you make me feel safe when you sleep with me. I… you’re not the only one scared. I swore I would never fall for a guy again; I was content with spending the rest of my life alone rather than risk getting hurt again. I went as far as ensuring that I wasn’t even alone with a man for the last two and a half years.
“Then I met you and you somehow managed to knock down all the walls I had put up. I care for you Nicholas… deeply, more than I think I have for anyone in my entire life. And yesterday, hearing you say… what you said, I thought it meant that what I was feeling was one sided. That you didn’t see me as anything more than your friend…”
Her voice trails off at the end, and I’m gutted once again. I lift her chin up, forcing her to look at me.
“Kenzie… I think you can agree that we passed friendship some time ago. Does this feel like friendship to you?”
Without giving her a chance to even think about it, I lean down and crush my lips against hers. I pour everything into the kiss, hoping for her to feel what I’m struggling to find the words to say. She gasps in surprise, I’m sure at the intensity of the kiss, and I take advantage of the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth. She moans against my lips before her tongue cautiously begins to explore mine. I run my hand up her back, holding her tight against me as I devour her mouth. I groan when she sucks my tongue into her mouth, the sensation going directly to my dick. I know she can feel it against her, there’s no way for her not to with how close we are right now.
As I run my hands over her soft curves, I realize that for the first time since we arrived here, she isn’t wearing one of the nighties that Susan had packed for her. I can’t help but feel responsible for her decision not to wear one of those outfits. I wonder why she chose to wear a tank top and shorts to bed? I want to ask her about it, but I’m almost afraid to know the answer. Is it because she knew she would be going to bed alone? Is it because she thought that when I said I couldn’t fall in love with her that she thought that meant I didn’t find her attractive? Surely she has to know that after everything that has happened between us this past week that not finding her attractive wasn’t even
a possibility.
I somehow manage to pull my lips from Kenzie’s and slowly start kissing my way to her neck. I kiss, nibble and suck at the juncture where her neck and shoulder meet. Her breathing is heavy and every so often she releases the softest moans that make my dick harden even more. I slip my hand beneath the waist band of her cotton shorts, grasping her soft ass, pushing her further against my dick, wanting to leave her no doubt how attractive I find her. I can tell the moment her own desire begins to take over as she begins to rock against me, rubbing her clit against my dick. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point, she must have moved her leg as it is now resting over my hip. She’s using it to hold onto me just as much as I’m holding on to her right now.
“Nicholas,” she moans as the desire climbs even higher within her.
My own desire is climbing—each time she moves against me she manages to rub me in just the right way. The thin fabric of our pajama shorts is the only thing separating us, the only things preventing me from sliding deep into Kenzie. If only things were that easy—
“Please…” she whispers, pulling me from the path I was about to go down of focusing on how fucked up I am.
Instead of doing that, I focus on the beautiful, sexy woman that is in my arms. I slide my hand from her ass to her damp silk panty covered sex. She gasps and pushes herself both against my hand and against my dick at the same time. I let my fingers slide through her wet folds, teasing her further before sliding one deep into her throbbing center. She grips my finger so fucking tight that I can’t help but imagine what it would feel like to have her grip my dick that hard.
“God, Kenzie... You have no idea how badly I want you,” I whisper to her just before sliding another finger into her.
“Nicholas… I…”
“I got you, baby,” although the position is awkward because of how we’re laying, I manage to twist my fingers as I push them deeper into her until I find the spot I was looking for. “Come for me, Kenzie.”
“OH! NICHOLAS!!!!!!!” She wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me even closer to her as she rides out the waves of her orgasm. Her body continues to rub against mine; her lips are on my neck, sucking and kissing me just as I was doing to her a few moments ago. When she sucks on my ear, I swear I nearly come in my shorts right then and there. I use the arm that is around her back to hold her firm against me as I start thrusting my fingers in and out of her warm, tight body, not yet ready to let her go. She moans in my ear before biting it lightly, causing my hips to thrust against her involuntarily.
“Kenzie… you… don’t,” I pant when I feel her hand working its way into my shorts.
“I know, I want to,” she whispers just before she wraps her hand around my dick which has been begging for some attention.
When her thumb glides over the top of my dick, rubbing the drops of moisture that had been collecting there, I swear it takes everything in me not to lose it in that moment. I’ve never felt so out of control with a woman as I do with Kenzie. I’ve never been so fucking turned on just from foreplay—if this is even considered foreplay since it doesn’t result in sex. Whatever the fuck it is, she manages to have me so close to coming, the moment she touches me every fucking time. I’ve never been like this… ever.
“You feel so fucking good,” our bodies have separated a little to give us each enough room to move. I take advantage of the new position and rub my thumb over her clit, causing her to thrust against my hand and grip my dick even tighter as she strokes me. “So fucking good.”
“Nicholas... I’m going to…” I rub her hardened clit a little more which is all it takes to push her over the edge as she once again screams my name.
“Fuck, KENZIE!” She grips my dick harder while her body sucks my fingers deeper into her as she falls apart against me. Imagining it’s my dick inside of her, instead of my fingers, has me following Kenzie right over the edge only seconds later.
Her lips slowly make their way from my ear back to my lips where she gently kisses me. I let her lead the kiss, and she does just that. I hold her against me not yet ready to let her go. After the way yesterday ended and we went to bed separately, I never expected us to be here like this today. Hell, I wasn’t sure we would ever get back here.
“Definitely more than friends,” she laughs, and I chuckle remembering what I said to start all of this a little while ago.
“Let’s go take shower,” I kiss her one last time, take her hand and lead her inside.
Chapter 19
Kenzie
After a long, hot shower together, we’re in the golf cart and on our way to the activities area of the resort to see if we can go kayaking.
“I think I’m going to run into the store while you see about the kayak. I want to pick up something,” I say when he pulls into a parking spot.
“Okay, I’ll meet you in at the bench?” he gestures between the store and the activities area.
“Sure.”
I spend a few minutes walking around the store, looking for something to get Julie to thank her for talking with me yesterday. I’m not sure what I would have done if she hadn’t brought up the topic of what had happened. I don’t know that we I would have worked things out so quickly if she wasn’t as open as she was. I’m still not sure I believe her that Nicholas is in love with me, but hearing her say that at least confirmed what he told me later–that he thinks of me as more than a friend.
It takes me a few minutes of walking around the store, which has everything from gifts to toiletries to snacks, before I finally find something that I think she will like. I decide on a pin in the shape of a turtle that is made from different shapes of stones. I think she will appreciate that the stones on the turtle are local to the island. Walking up the last aisle, I grab one last item on a whim and head to the check-out counter. The cashier scans my bracelet, charging the purchases to the villa and places the items I bought in a decorate bag. I place the small bag in my purse and head out to the bench.
“If we want to grab a quick lunch, we can take the glass bottom kayak out in forty-five minutes,” Nicholas says as he approaches me moments after I sit down.
“Perfect!”
The trip was just amazing; you could literally see everything under the boat as we paddled through the open water. We were able to see the different color coral and even had schools of fish swimming below our boat. I had never experienced anything like that and judging by Nicholas’s face he hadn’t either. There was only one other couple on the water with us, but it really felt like we were alone the entire time. We spent about two hours on the water before deciding our arms were getting too sore to continue paddling around.
“So tomorrow is our last day here, right?” I ask back at the villa later that evening.
“Yes, we have to check out the next day by noon. The resort staff will pick up our luggage by eleven, I believe, to load it onto the plane. We’ll leave from the airport to head back to the states by two, if everything goes as planned. The trip back will probably feel much longer because we’ll be awake for most of the trip. When we land in New York, it will be around two in the morning Fiji time, but around midnight New York time. The time change back shouldn’t be as difficult to adjust to as when we flew out.”
“Are you going back to work on Monday then?”
“Yes, though I haven’t decided if I’m going to be working from home or if I will head into the office. I should head to PFS, but it might depend on how exhausted I am.”
“I was thinking I should meet with Ginny next week. If the press doesn’t know that I’m working there, I should be able to meet with her a few times without them knowing to at least get a feel for things. I have so much to learn about running the bakery…”
“When it comes to the book keeping and finances, I have plenty of staff at PFS who could offer you some advice once you get in there, if you want. Although, PFS doesn’t typically work with bakeries, I think the systems we have in place for The Summit could be scaled bac
k to meet your needs at the bakery. Or you might want to keep Ginny’s system that she has been using—”
“No, definitely not,” I giggle. “Her books are all done by hand—I swear she’s so afraid of technology and won’t try anything new. I definitely want something that is computerized, so maybe once I can get a copy of what she has—”
“I have a copy of her books for the last two years,” Nicholas interrupts.
“You do?”
“Part of the due diligence process. I needed to make sure the bakery was doing well financially before I purchased it. If it was struggling or wasn’t turning a decent profit, I wouldn’t have purchased it for you. It didn’t make sense to purchase something that you would work day in and day out for without collecting a decent paycheck.”
“Oh, that makes sense. Ginny never really talked about how the bakery itself was doing. I just assumed since we were always so busy that it was doing okay.”
“And it most definitely is. I think there’s room for improvement, especially with some of the vendors she is working with, but those are things you can decide.”
“I think I would like to take you up on the offer to have someone at PFS help me set up a decent book keeping system, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course, once we get back and you’re ready, I can set you up with my head of finance. He’s amazing with spreadsheets and formulas; he can show you what we use for The Summit, if that’s something you might want to use, or he can develop a program specific for the bakery.”
“Thank you. I think that would be a big help. It’s kind of hard to believe that in two days we’ll be back in New York. In a way it feels like we’ve been gone for so long…”
“I think it’s because we don’t have to deal with reality out here. There are no business meetings, no reporters, no deadlines and no security issues to worry about. We’ve been able to pretend none of that exists for the last week.”
The Arrangement Duet Box Set Page 51