When he leaves the room, Kenzie’s eyes remain fixed to the floor, and I can practically hear her thoughts. I know she’s blaming herself for this, but she couldn’t be more wrong. Even if her ex was the one who is feeding the press information about us, it wouldn’t be her fault.
“Come here, baby,” I need to do something, I can’t just let her sit there blaming herself. I don’t say anything, instead I gently wrap my arms around her waist and urge her to sit on my lap.
“It’s not your fault,” I whisper and wrap my arms around her.
“I’m sorry, so sorry—”
“Stop, this is NOT your fault. I won’t let you blame yourself for that fucker’s actions.”
“But—”
“No, Kenzie. If he is the one behind this, he will pay; I’ll make sure of it. If he turns out to be the one behind some of the news articles, that’s on him. You did everything possible to keep him out of your life—you didn’t ask him to come after you.”
“I know, I just feel like I brought him into your life. If I never—”
“Stop right there. You need to stop blaming yourself, baby. This isn’t your fault. You wouldn’t let me blame myself if the person behind this was tied to me somehow. I won’t let you do the same thing. All that matters is that we’ve identified that bastard as a suspect, so now we will have even more eyes on him. I’m so glad you remembered that his company was behind the advertising for Eurotek. Without that, we wouldn’t have known to look at him closer.”
“I’m surprised I remembered that at all; but we were there celebrating because this was a very large client for the advertising company. I remember thinking that he would be furious because when they named the key people involved in the project, his name was left out. He had put in many late nights working on the project so even I was surprised that his name wasn’t mentioned.”
“Is that what caused…?”
“It’s hard to say. He wasn’t mad in that moment, but he became furious when he stepped away from the table to get a drink and I started talking to the vice president of his company. Even though what we were talking about what was on the list of allowed topics—“
“Allowed topics?” Seriously? He told her what she could talk to people about? Who the fuck does something like that?
“I told you he had rules: how much I could drink, what I could drink, what I would wear and even what I could talk about when we were at his business functions. He said that everything I did and said, reflected on him and in turn his father, so it was important that I avoided any controversial topics or areas that I knew nothing about,” she sighs heavily against me. “I know it sounds stupid, but at the time, how he said it, made perfect sense. I didn’t realize just how much I was allowing him to control my life. Looking back, I don’t know how I didn’t realize it in that moment.”
“Sometimes you only see what you want to see,” I may not have been in the same situation, but I know there were many things that I didn’t see when I was with her, that I realized after the fact.
“He accused me of flirting with him, saying that I was going after him because he obviously earned much more than Richard did. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. We were talking about gardening as he had struggled with deer, he knew I liked to garden as we had discussed it at previous events. Richard was furious, I guess, because the guy’s wife was at home with their sick kid, which I guess for some reason made him think that I was trying to go after him. He said I let him stare at my chest without doing anything, but the truth was there was nothing I could do. He picked out my dress for that night, as he always did, which was cut very low in the front. He hadn’t left out a wrap for me to wear, so it wasn’t like I could cover myself up. I didn’t think he was staring at my chest, but he could have been… it’s not like it could be avoided.”
“Even if the guy had been gawking at your chest all fucking night, that bastard shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” I can’t believe that fucker would beat her like he did for any reason, let alone because a coworker looked at her chest. Hell, I was furious when I saw Donnelly gawking at her ass the day she met with him, but it never even occurred to me to think she was flirting with him. My anger that day was directed at him, never at her—he was the one staring at her ass.
“You’re right, but it never stopped him. He always took his anger out on me, even when I had nothing to do with why he was angry or frustrated. I thought that part of my life was behind me; I didn’t think I would have to deal with him ever again.”
“You won’t, Carter is going to get to the bottom of this and I promise you he will never hurt you again. He will never come near you; I will keep you safe.”
“I know you will,” she whispers as she glances up at me with her eyes full of an emotion I can’t place. Needing to feel her, I weave my fingers through her hair and bring her closer to me. My lips immediately find her soft ones, as my other hand roams her beautiful body. After everything that just happened, after everything that I just saw, I need to feel and be closer to her. I have to remind myself to be gentle with her as I fight the urge to pull her tighter, closer to me. She shifts, turning her body so she can wrap her arms around my neck. The softest moan escapes from her as my tongue caresses her lips. I will never understand how that bastard could hurt my Kenzie…
My Kenzie.
“I love you,” I whisper against her lips.
“I love you too.”
She cuddles into my chest, her arms wrapping around my stomach as mine wrap around her back. Even though I don’t fully understand why, it seems she needs this as much as I do right now. Or maybe she just senses what I need. Whatever the reason, having her in my lap against me is exactly what I need right now.
After dinner, we cuddle on the couch watching some romantic comedy movie, that Kenzie exclaimed is her favorite the moment she saw it in the selection of movies available. With her head on a pillow on my lap, I can’t help but think how lucky I am to have this beautiful woman in my life. Never would I have thought this is what I would be doing with a woman, yet right now there is nowhere else I would rather be. If Kenzie hadn’t come into my life, I would likely be sitting in my office either at PFS or here working well into the night. Or maybe I would be at The Blue Moon, fucking some woman who meant nothing to me. I never realized how empty my life was before, how alone I really was.
“Baby? Do you want to go to bed?” I ask as I see her eyes start to close.
“I hadn’t realized how tired I was until I laid down,” she admits.
“We can finish this movie tomorrow if you want.”
“Are you going to the office in the morning?”
“No. Carter said it would be best if we both stayed here as much as possible, so I’m going to be working from home for at least the foreseeable future.”
“I’m sorry—”
“Don’t,” I quickly interrupt knowing what she was going to blame herself. “I have everything I need to work here and Melody can have a messenger bring over anything important.”
“You sure it won’t make more work for her?”
“Not at all,” I chuckle when she yawns again. “I had thought about letting you fall asleep here on the couch, but I knew it wouldn’t be very comfortable.”
“I’d much rather sleep in our bed,” Kenzie says as she slowly gets up from the couch.
I gasp in surprise—for the first time, she has referred to it as our bed, until now it’s always been my bed. When she looks at me, I quickly fake a yawn, letting her think that’s what she heard. I know how important it is for her to feel like she has something of her own, something that isn’t mine, so I hope by her referring to it that way she is thinking of it truly as our bed and not mine any longer. I could be reading too much into her choice of words, but I hope I’m not. We’ve done things completely backwards, but I’m hoping she’s starting to feel like this place is her home. For me, once we returned from Fiji, my bed became our bed; I can’t imagine her sleeping anywhere else. But I know for
her, things aren’t that black and white. I learned that when she thought I would kick her out of the condo downstairs the moment we ended our arrangement. She saw that as my apartment, even after I told her she could stay as long as she needed to.
“Are you coming to bed?” Kenzie comes out of the bathroom after changing into her pajamas and finds me still standing next to our bed.
I quickly wash up and throw on a pair of shorts to sleep in before heading back to the bedroom where Kenzie is already lying in bed waiting for me. I quickly turn off the light and climb into bed, sliding right next to her. She sighs as soon as my arms wrap around her and inches back towards me so her body is flush against mine. Within minutes of the light turning off, she has fallen asleep but I on the other hand can’t seem to find sleep.
Every time I close my eyes, I see those pictures of what that bastard did to her. I see the imprints of his fingers around her neck and her eye that was swollen so badly that you can’t see the beautiful brown that lights up when she smiles. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to get those images out of my head. Normally when I can’t sleep, I would end up in my office working, but right now I’m content to lay here and watch her sleep. The only thing that makes me feel remotely better about this whole situation is knowing that the fucker who did this to her, will never hurt her again.
Chapter 32
Nicholas
For the last week, Alex has been attending several meetings offsite meetings on my behalf, but if I continue to miss important things, people will suspect something is going on. I’ve been stuck in the apartment for the last two weeks as my team tries to figure out who Richard is working with. So far, they haven’t found anything to tie him to New York.
After a call with him to follow up on a meeting he had last night over dinner with an owner of a company that we are submitting a proposal to, I realize just how important it is that I attend some of these dinners. So much of our business occurs outside of the office, it’s a key part of what we do. My next meeting is with Carter and Hunter to discuss my schedule for the next few weeks and how we can manage security at different events and dinners. Thankfully, we have a few days before the next one is scheduled, giving them time to finalize all the details. While it would be easier to stay at Accord Towers and continue to let Alex take care of these things, I can’t rely on him to close all the deals. It’s my name and face associated with PFS—people want to see and speak with me.
“Nicholas?” Kenzie knocks softly on my door.
“Come in, baby.”
“Julie has dinner prepared; I wasn’t sure if you were too busy—”
“I’m not, let’s go eat.”
Kenzie waits for me at the door, before leaving my office I lean down and kiss her soft lips. Her body immediately presses against mine; my hand goes to her hip as I hold her against me.
“Come, let’s eat before our dinner gets cold,” she blushes but by the time we reach the dining room it has faded.
“So I have some news,” Kenzie announces just as we finish with dinner. She seems a little nervous about whatever she is going to say, although I’m not sure why she would be nervous.
“Oh?”
“I’ve decided to hire Cara to manage the bakery,” Kenzie holds her breath, and I realize she was nervous about my response.
“That’s wonderful, Cara must be so excited.”
“I’m sure she will be. I… I haven’t talked to her about it yet. I didn’t want to say anything to her about it until I talked to you first.”
“Did you think I would object?”
“I wasn’t sure what you would think, you were nervous about me hiring Cara to begin with—”
“I was, only because I know her track record of staying with a job for any length of time. But I know she’s really happy working at the bakery; I think it’s exactly what she has been looking for, since she came back from San Diego.”
“That’s exactly what she said when I talked to her the other day. I wanted to make sure you were okay with it before I spoke to her about the position. I know mixing family and business can be weird, so I didn’t want to do it if you were uncomfortable with the idea.”
“Kenzie, the bakery is yours. I told you that I will help you if you want, but this is your decision. If you’re confident in her ability, then go for it. If things get complicated down the road, I’ll be here to help you if you need it. But, I don’t see it becoming an issue. You two seem to work so well together—”
“We really do. She has some great ideas for the bakery, but she only brings them up when asked. I know she doesn’t want to feel like she is stepping on my toes, but her ideas are really good ones. She interacts so well with all the customers: her bubbly personality makes her a hit with everyone.”
“I think she would be great as a manager for the bakery.”
“Really?”
“Really,” I chuckle at her obvious excitement. “Offer her the position; it would be good for her to work with Ginny closer before she begins to take her time off to visit her daughter.”
“That’s what I was thinking. She wants to plan a trip soon but with the press still on us… she was talking about waiting until things settle down and I can return to the bakery to manage things while she is gone—”
“Kenzie—”
“Obviously we don’t know when things will die down, but I don’t want her to have to wait. This way Cara can manage the bakery while it’s open and then we can work together after hours. I spoke with Hunter and he said as long as I went to the bakery after hours and entered from the side entrance that it wouldn’t be an issue.”
“No, I think that makes sense,” I’m not thrilled with the idea of her leaving condo, but I know I can’t keep her here forever
“Hunter said he would speak to Carter and make all the arrangements so that perhaps we could go one day this week.”
“I met with them this afternoon: there are a few dinners and events coming up on my schedule in the next few weeks that I need to attend. They’re beginning to arrange security and will determine which ones are too much of a risk for me to attend, but the others I’m planning on attending.”
“Do you want me to… I mean…”
I know what she’s trying to ask; it’s still the awkward part of our arrangement. On one hand we are this normal couple, but on the other, we have the underlying arrangement, which is the entire reason we are even together right now. The reason that I signed the contract with Bridget, the reason that I married Kenzie… it’s still there and it’s always awkward when it creeps back into our current situation.
Part of me just wants to say fuck the arrangement, because things between us, as a couple, are going great, at least I think they are. But the other part still worries what will happen if I fuck this up? What then? On top of being completely heartbroken and devastated, I could be ruined in the press. And what if I told Kenzie I wanted to tear up our contract and she didn’t feel the same way? What if she liked the security of having it there? Until I know how she feels about it, I can’t bring it up… even if a large part of me wishes it didn’t exist.
“If Carter feels that security won’t be an issue, I would very much like you to come with me to a few of these boring dinners. They’re always better with you there,” I squeeze her hand as she smiles at me.
“Just let me know, but I’m sure my schedule will be free,” she laughs because we both know there isn’t anything on her schedule and hasn’t been since she had to stop working at the bakery.
“I’m sure it will be,” I chuckle and pull her closer to me so her body rests against mine. She lightly kisses my neck when I wrap my arms around her.
“I have a few hours’ worth of work to get through tonight; if you keep that up I’ll never get any of it done,” I groan as she nibbles on my ear causing my dick to stir.
“And that would be a bad thing?” I can feel her smile against me.
“I really need to finish this. Give me a few hours, and I
’ll come to bed.”
“Okay,” I hear the disappointment in her voice when she pulls away. “I’ll be in the library if you need me.”
She walks slowly out of the room, and I immediately feel like shit. I’ve been avoiding her in a sense; we haven’t been intimate since I saw those pictures. I know I need to stop thinking of her as the woman in those pictures. I need to stop seeing those images every time I close my eyes. The Kenzie in those pictures is not the woman upstairs in my library or the one that just kissed me at the dinner table or the one that I had wrapped in my arms last night. The Kenzie in those pictures is not the woman who faced her own fears by placing my tie around her wrists so we could make love before we left Fiji.
Realizing what an ass I have been, I head out of my office to find her. The door to the library is open just a crack and I take a moment to watch Kenzie. She is curled up in the oversized loveseat that I had Carter arrange for her the day she moved in and fell in love with this room. She looks so relaxed, as if she doesn’t have a care in the world, despite the fact that her ex is likely working with someone who wants to ruin me in the press.
“Nicholas! I thought you had work—”
She is in front of me within seconds, and I quickly quiet her by kissing her hard on the lips. It takes her only a moment to get over the shock of what I did and to kiss me back. Her arms are around my neck, her body pressed against mine. This woman, this beautiful woman is all mine, and I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want her. I need to make up for the ass I’ve been; I need to take hours to worship her beautiful body. But right now, the only thing I can think of is how much I’ve missed the way her body feels against mine.
“I need you,” I whisper against her lips.
“Do you want to go back downstairs to our—”
“No… it’s been too long. I can’t wait,” I know I sound weak but right now, I can’t think of anything other than making love to Kenzie.
Without saying a word, she pulls away from me slowly and walks over to the love seat she was laying on when I walked in. I follow her, leaning on it before pulling her between my legs.
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