by Kait Rose
Today was finally the day I’ve been waiting for since he left. Jude is finally coming home and I’ve been wishing for the time to speed up. I decided to spend the morning at the library so Mr. Montgomery couldn’t ruin the day I’ve been waiting for.
The only time I had peace was when I went to the Jefferson Library where I would meet my friend Blaire. She was from one of the founding families of this town, but from the sound of them they weren’t the most pleasant to be around besides Blaire. She was a little on the heavier side and her mother constantly was on her about it. The way she spoke to her and the snide comments left Blaire feeling depressed. We both bonded this summer by using the library to read books to escape our messed up reality. I just wished I could confine to her what was going on back at the Montgomery’s house. After living there for five years, I still couldn’t bring myself to call their house my home. A home to me is a safe place you can always come back to. The Montgomery’s house was the complete opposite.
“So are you going to tell lover boy that you want him?” Blaire peeked up from her novel that I ended up covering in the water that she just made me spit out.
“What! No, no way. We’re just friends and he is pretty much my brother.”
“Don’t play dumb it doesn’t suit you. Anyways you two aren’t related, but two foster kids living in the same house. All you did this summer was read and talk about Jude. You even been rereading the same page since you sat down which tells me how anxious you are about him coming back today .”
“Ok I do, but he doesn’t see me in that kind of way.” I buried my head back in my book. I hated thinking about Jude never seeing me more than a friend. I think if he ever told me I was more like a little sister in return, I would die.
“Well I think he does. He’s always with you in school and I seen him graze his fingers by yours more than on one occasion. It’s like he wants to hold your hand, but doesn’t want to be rejected. Also, add in how he told all the guys at school to stay away from you just confirms my theory.”
“He did what! Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I always assumed since the boys at my school were rich, they would never take a second look at a foster kid.
“SSSHHH! This is a library Miss Bloom.” The librarian said. I whispered back that I was sorry, it was just too hard to keep my cool when I’m this nervous.
Blaire peeked back over her book to whisper, “You always had your eyes on him and him only. I figured it wouldn’t matter if he did because you would say no to anyone asking you out anyways. He really did you a favor with all the jerks we go to school with anyways.”
“True but still if he’s going to make all the boys stay away from me he better like me like me.” I looked at the clock and in about ten minutes he should be home. “I got to go he’ll be home soon.” Blaire waved me off and went back to her book.
I rushed home on my bike with a few minutes to spare. Mrs. Montgomery was all about making sure we look proper going out, so all our clothes were always in style. I changed quick out of my leggings and t-shirt and threw on my new jean shorts and tank top. I was still on the scrawny side, but my boobs grew into another cup size and my hair was now softs waves instead of the frizzy mess it used to be.
I rushed over to the window when I heard Mr. Montgomery pull up to the house. The butterflies in my stomach were flying rampant and I barely could hold it together when I saw Jude step out of the car. Holy shit, I wasn’t the only one who changed over the summer. It’s hard to believe how much older he looks from when he first left. He looked like he was fifteen going on eighteen. His muscles were ripped, he cut his hair into one of those old school gentlemen hair cuts, and even his jawline was more pronounced. I couldn’t stop staring at him and felt the drool make its was down my chin. He started to laugh and wink at me which snapped me out of my embarrassing trance. It took everything in me not to run outside, but with Mr. Montgomery out there with him, I didn’t want to take the chance. I most likely would be sent to his office and I didn’t need that ruining today.
Within a minute he was standing in my room and I couldn’t help myself running and jumping into his arms. After he swung me around, he put me down and the way he was looking at me was different than anytime before. His eyes were wide and mouth open not saying anything.
“Earth to Jude?” I waved my hand in front of his face and that seemed to get his attention.
“When did you get boobs?” He squinted his face and pinched his nose embarrassed that he said it out loud.
“It’s ok and boobs tend to grow, so yeah.” I had no idea what else to say, this was starting to feel awkward with how nervous I am.
“Sorry I didn’t mean that, I mean you look so different like I’ve been gone a year instead of two months.”
“Uh, I hope that’s a good thing.” I felt my cheeks burning up. I was starting to feel embarrassed that maybe I didn’t look as great as I thought.
“Get out of your head little bird. You look beautiful, I meant it as compliment.” I couldn’t help but smile. He always made my day better.
“Well you look good too. Your body is nice.” I can’t believe I just said that. I instantly slapped my hand over mouth, embarrassed that I said something so stupid. Like why couldn’t I just end it at you look good too. I never felt this nervous around him to the point I forget how to speak.
“Why don’t we go eat and you can admire my nice body from across the table.” Jude winked and I felt my cheeks turn a darker shade of red. I nodded and started heading towards the door when I felt him grab my wrist and pull me back. He pushed my hair to the front of me and was running his finger over the back of my shoulder, which hurt really bad.
“Ow!” I cringed and then it hit me he must see the bruise on my shoulder that Mr. Montgomery left. When I tried running away from his office the other day, he threw his scotch glass at my back. It ended up hitting me hard on my shoulder blade and I learned not to run away from my punishments. I just got so excited today about him coming home that I forgot to keep a t-shirt on.
“What in the hell happened Madison! Did that fucker hurt you again?” Jude was angry and I wished I could tell him the truth, but Mr. Montgomery threats about what he would do to Jude if I told him were worse than the beatings I took.
“It’s nothing, I was learning how to play baseball and I got hit by the ball.” The lie rolled easily off my tongue just like all the other lies. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a t-shirt to throw on over my tank top.
He gave me a dead stare not showing if he believed me or not. I could tell he was leaning more towards that it was a lie. I didn’t want to give him a moment longer to think about it, so I went in my backpack and grabbed the gift I got him.
“Here, I got you a little welcome back home gift.” I felt so stupid in this moment giving him a gift for being at baseball camp, but I wanted to make him smile. I helped clean the library all summer to save up for it.
When I handed him the sketch pad and pencils, he just looked down at it without saying anything. I started to doubt what I over heard the one night between him and Mr. Montgomery. From what I could hear, Jude was asking Mr. Montgomery for the money to buy it, but he told him art would never get him anywhere and he needed to focus on baseball and only baseball.
We weren’t allowed to get jobs because they felt it would make them look bad because they were so rich. Jude and I though, we never took advantage of their money. Yes they bought us nice clothes, but we would have been happy with anything that was clean, fitted, and didn’t have holes. We never even asked them for a cent, but Jude really loved to draw and wanted to start building a portfolio. Knowing Jude, he hated every second asking for the money. In that moment I decided I would sneak behind the Montgomery’s back to get him the sketch pad and pencils. I honestly felt any beatings I will get when Mr. Montgomery finds out was worth it if it made Jude happy.
Jude set the gift down on my desk and came over to grab my hands. “How and why did you get this for me litt
le bird?”
“I could tell you’ve been dying to get your art in books and I think your drawings are amazing. I told the Montgomery’s I was going out with my friend, which wasn’t a complete lie, she was at the library that I cleaned every morning.” He pulled me in for a tight hug and I felt the butterflies finally calm.
“No one has ever gotten me something so perfect. I can’t believe though you worked your whole summer to get me this. I’ll find a way to pay you back, I promise.” I wish I could tell him that escaping to the library was the best part of my summer.
“Don’t be silly, it’s a gift. If you really want to repay me though, you can make me one your monster sandwiches.” His monster sandwich was made up of ham, turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato, sweet relish, barbeque, mayonnaise, and potato chips on white bread. At first I thought it would be disgusting, but surprisingly it was delicious.
“Deal. I don’t know how a little thing like you can eat a whole one.” He gave me one of his perfect smiles and we headed down to the kitchen. Thankfully only Mrs. Quinn was in there.
“My boy has returned! How was camp?” Mrs. Quinn pulled out the cookie sheet and hurried over to pull Jude into a hug.
“You’re suffocating me Quinny!” She was an older woman in her sixties and only reached below his shoulder, but the woman can give a bear hug like no other.
“I’m sorry sweets, we all just missed you around here.”
“I’m pretty sure only you two beauties did, but anyways camp was great. They told me I’d be the starting pitcher this year.”
“That’s amazing!” I was so happy his hard work was paying off, but he didn’t seem as happy.
“Congratulations! How about I make you guys something to eat. This one here disappeared all summer and barely ate. We need to start fattening you up, here eat this.” She shoved one of her huge soft chocolate chip cookies in my hand. She was right, I barely ate this summer. I tried my hardest to avoid Mr. Montgomery, so as soon as I woke up I was gone for the day until I had to join them for dinner. I don’t know why I even bothered eating, most of the time I ended up throwing it up if I knew it was a night Mr. Montgomery would be angry with me.
Jude drew his eyebrows in and looked lost in thought again. I couldn’t look at him upset again, so I decided to eat my cookie and hope that makes him happy to see me eat. When I put it up to my lips though, it was snatched away from me by Mrs. Montgomery.
“Mrs. Quinn! What did I tell you about feeding these children with sweets, especially this one. All she does is lay around and read, she will get fat and I can not have that. “ Mrs. Montgomery hissed.
Mrs. Quinn put her head down and Jude turned an angrier shade of red than before. I stomped on his foot to snap him out of it and grabbed an apple from the fruit basket on the table.
“Good girl. At least someone is listening to me around here.” She headed off to the pool house to either take her drugs or have sex with Baron, the pool guy.
As soon as she was out of sight, the apple was ripped from my hands and replaced with my cookie. “You have no idea how much it kills me I can’t defend you against them.”
I nodded in agreement, but we both knew we walked a tight line with the Montgomery’s. If we went against them, we knew we would be kicked out in a heart beat. Us staying together was worth the Montgomery’s abuse. I couldn’t imagine not having Jude in my life. He was worth every bad thing that lead me to him.
I ate my cookie while he prepared our sandwiches. We ended up talking for an hour about our summer. When we finished our sandwiches, he looked around the kitchen to see if we were alone. He then grabbed both of my hands and whispered, “I’ve been thinking about you this whole summer and everything I want to tell you. Meet me outside by our tree at midnight.” He kissed me on the cheek and headed out of kitchen before hearing my answer. He knew though that I’d say yes to anything he wanted.
For the rest of the night I was pacing in my room anxiously. I kept trying to figure out what Jude had to tell me, but I couldn’t think of anything. When the clock finally showed 11:50 PM, I slowly made my way downstairs not wanting the Montgomery’s to hear me. Thankfully the coast was clear and I was able to slip out the back door. Our tree was about a five minute walk from the Montgomery’s and the first tree over the property line. The Montgomery’s were very strict where we went, so when we were little we felt like rebels not being on their property anymore. It was our spot when one of us needed to forget for a moment.
When I got there, Jude was leaning against the tree holding a folder. My heart was racing hoping there wasn’t any bad news inside it. I didn’t know what to say but, “Hi.”
“Hi.” He smiled and started laughing. “You can come closer, I don’t bite.” I didn’t even realize I was standing ten feet in front of him. I walked over and sat down against our tree. He lowered himself to the ground and placed the folder in my hand.
“What’s this?”
“I also got you a little something.” He looked nervous and I was feeling the same. I was anxious though to see what was inside, so I eagerly opened the folder. The folder was full of pages of his art and every page was a drawing of a good memory of us. I was memorized of the memories he remembered like the time I got stuck in a hoodie and he had to come cut it off. When I finally got to the last page, my heart stopped. It was a drawing of him holding me while we sit in front of our tree with our initials carved in it.
I couldn’t stop staring at it until I felt him come sit behind me and drape his arms around me. “What..what does this mean?” I couldn’t help my stutter, I was lucky that I still remembered how to breathe let alone talk. I was praying I wasn’t reading this whole situation wrong or I never be able to show my face again.
Jude reached over and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I know our situation is a little odd with us being foster kids in the same house, but I can’t hide my feelings from you any longer. I know most would say we were just kids, but the feelings I have for you run deep. Being away from you all summer was hell and it showed me what I was denying all along was true. You are my person, Madison.”
I never kissed anyone and luckily Mr. Montgomery never stole that from me. Everything Jude said I felt the same, so I went for it. I leaned in and kissed him. It was a simple kiss, but it felt much bigger than that. It was a kiss I would always remember.
“Is that a yes to being my girlfriend?” He held my hands and gave me that handsome smile of his.
“I don’t know, can I think about it?” I smirked. He didn’t like my smart ass answer, so he got on top of me and started tickling the hell out of me until I screamed yes.
“Now was that so hard smart ass?” I was ready to give him a piece of my mind since he knows I hate being tickled, but he put his hand over my mouth and told me to shh.
“Do you hear that?” I shook my head no and started to feel terrified that we were going to get caught. After a few minutes he shook his head saying it must have been an animal. We went back to making out until it was two in the morning knowing we had to get back inside.
“Listen, we can’t tell anyone were together not even at school.”
“Why? I can see here, but who cares what people think at school.” The night was going so perfect, but now I felt it was taking a turn for the worst.
“I know, but I don’t need the guys on the team riding my ass about dating my foster sister let alone an eighth grader. The girls won’t be easy on you either and that is going to end up with me being expelled for beating all their boyfriends up.”
“I’ll be fourteen in a few months and you’re still fifteen for another few months too. No one will find our age difference weird and don’t worry about any girls, I can handle them.”
“Two years isn’t a big deal Madison, but dating a middle schooler isn’t going to fly with them.” He shook his head while I felt myself getting more mad.
“You know what isn’t going to fly, being your dirty little secret. Tonight was going perfect and you had to r
uin it all because you are worried what people will say.” I slammed the folder in his chest and took off running for the house. He was right behind me in a second, but when he grabbed my hand to make me turn around, the patio lights turned on.
”What do you two think you’re doing out this late!” We were greeted by the devil himself and all the fear came rushing back to me. We both remained quiet, fearing what he was going to do next.
Mr. Montgomery walked over to Jude and back handed him giving Jude a split lip. The anger I saw back in Jude’s eyes was frightening, but he knew if he didn’t back down what was worst would be coming.
“Look at you, dress like a little slut like your mother. I bet you were spreading those legs for every little punk nose brat or were you opening them up for your brother?” He scrunched his nose in disgust and before I could even blink, Jude was shoving him.
“Don’t you dare talk to her like that!” Jude’s voiced was so angry and loud that it even shocked Mr. Montgomery for a second.
“I like that you're defending yourself, good. Now both of you give me your phones. You lost all privileges to your phones, computers, and televisions.” I’d take that punishment over his office ones any day. This felt to good to be true though. We dropped our phones in his hand and both of us were escorted to our rooms. I ended up tossing and turning all night until a stumbling Mrs. Montgomery came in my room early morning waking me up.
“Heard you had a late night last night. Seems like someone is taking after their mother. What a shame. Now thanks to you, I have to bring you along with me shopping. You have five minutes to get dress and meet me downstairs by the door.” This day is already at a bad start. I needed to talk to Jude, but no I get the honor of carrying all her bags and force to give her compliments on how good she looks. I rather douse my eyes with acid than go with her.
After hours of shopping and playing over what happened in my head a thousand times, I was in need of a nap. I knew I had to talk to Jude though. Part of me was starting to think I over reacted and maybe in time he will be ready to go public with us. At this point I rather have him than lose him.