by Sands, Samie
Danny
My head... I grab onto it, the ache almost unbearable. Why does it hurt so much?
I grip onto it and blink a couple of times, the brightness of the sunlight aching my retinas. I have no idea where I am or what the hell happened, but everything hurts.
Since I can’t see much, I try to locate my pain, but it’s everywhere. My legs hurt, my stomach twinges, one of my arms is in absolute agony...
A growling sound snaps me to life, grabbing my attention, and I flick my eyes around wildly, but there are only fuzzy shapes. Nothing is real or concrete, I’m not totally convinced this isn’t a dream. It has a nightmarish quality to it.
“Ah, no!” I cry out as I try to stand. The pain intensifies tenfold. “Help me!”
The growling continues. I don’t know if it’s getting closer or not, but I do know that it spells danger. I must have a deep survival instinct inside of me somewhere because it pushes me from the ground. I defy everything my body wants and get off the ground.
“Anyone?” Anyone alive, I mean. Where am I? Who am I with? “Help!”
The throbbing becomes so powerful that without me getting even a glimpse of warning, vomit spills out of my mouth. I don’t know quite where it splatters over me, but it definitely hits my legs.
“Urgh, God, no.”
I stagger forward, my legs shaking like jelly as I try to move. I reach out and grab onto whatever I can grasp, anything hard to keep me standing upright. I could be grabbing trees, maybe buildings, possibly even the danger...I don’t know.
“Help me!”
Fuzzy memories flicker through my mind, but I can’t quite place them anywhere. I think about the camp, about the tension, about the potential fallout that was coming...
“Oliver!”
Oh, thank goodness. I recall the name of the person I was out here with. My best friend in this world now. Oliver. We came out to get him away from Ryan to stop them fighting. There wasn’t even anything we needed. It was just to calm him down.
Something must have happened. That’s the only explanation.
But he was angry and anxious too. He wasn’t driving in the best way...
Did we crash? He’s crashed a car before with Katie in it when he wasn’t driving smart. Did that happen again with me in it? Is that why my body hurts so much? I suppose it makes sense, but it isn’t a good thought. It actually terrifies the living hell out of me.
If that did happen then where the hell is Oliver? Why isn’t he with me?
“Oliver!” I cry out, now so loud he has to be able to hear me. I don’t even care if any of the monsters hear me, I just need to know that my friend is okay. “Oliver, where are you?”
Tears threaten to come. I’m not usually a crier but they’re there.
I have a feeling that something terrible has happened.
Alex
Me and Rachael don’t know what to say to one another anymore. There are no words. What we’ve just been through, what we barely escaped, the information that we now have...it’s all too much. I don’t know what to think about any of it.
“What do we...?” I start, trying to squash the bone-crushing silence, but Rachael grabs me hard and shuts me up.
“Shh,” she hisses, with a real edge to her voice. “What’s that?”
“Erm...” I strain my ears hard, but I can’t work out what she means. There’re only the usual sounds surrounding us, the ones from camp life. Nothing to spark this reaction.
“It’s a party, right? That sounds like a party?”
“Oh, the music and stuff?” I offer her a one-shouldered shrug. “Yeah, I guess so. I know there’s a lot of it going on, but I don’t know who’s involved...”
“We should go!” Her eyes are wild and desperate. “Don’t you think?”
“Really?” I answer her cautiously. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. After what we just heard.”
“But that’s exactly why we need to go. To forget all of that.”
She shudders, remembering the evil words spoken by the ‘good’ people who have been running this place. It was me who convinced her to eavesdrop with me, me who suspected, and look what I’ve done to her. She looks ruined. I feel terrible, I need to find the right words to make this okay again.
But it’s too late. Rachael has hold of my arm and she drags me along. There’s only one thing I can think of that will make any difference. It’s something that I’ve wanted to do for ages, a thought that I’ve clung to for far too long, just waiting for the right moment, and this definitely isn’t it. This isn’t magical, or sweet, or romantic. It’s desperate and in reaction to so many things. Too many to even count.
But I don’t have any choice. It’s now or never.
Without giving myself even a second to talk myself out of it, I spin her around and tug until her body crashes against mine. Racheal tries to say something breathlessly to me but it’s too late. My lips find hers and finally, everything feels perfect.
The kiss starts off slow and hesitant, but every cell in my body explodes under the weight of it anyway. It’s better than anything I ever could have hoped for. I have dreamed about this moment, but I never imagined that she would make me tingle all over, that my chest would heat up with warmth, and that I would have so many butterflies everywhere...
Then it heats up, it becomes more passionate and needy. Her hands are all twisted up in my hair, and mine have circled her waist. The world melts away as we become just one person and I know with utter certainty that this was the right thing to do because I have changed everything.
Life will be so much better now.
Well, that is until Rachael pulls away and she grins at me. “Come on, let’s go inside.”
I sink. She still wants to go to this party.
Nothing has changed at all.
Benji
I saw them coming a mile off, the young couple joining the party, hands clinging to one another as if they were in the throes of new love, the flush of kissing in their cheeks, smiling with glee at one another as they walked.
Aww, what a sweet scene, how lovely when the world outside these walls is such a mess. To find any kind of affection in this life now is something to be celebrated, isn’t it?
But me, with my keen eye, I could see something else too. A darkness clinging to them, a knowledge, giving them a slight deadness to their eyes. I know what that look is, many of us have it. It’s the knowledge that this whole world is hell, whatever it looks like in here. The walls are just a temporary protection and cannot hold us forever. That out there is coming, and we cannot stop it.
So, if we can’t do anything about it then what can we do?
The only thing I can think of is blocking it out. Escapism is what all humans want. Even before all of this, it was the same, but entertainment and fun is more essential than ever. This needs to be forgotten if we want to keep our sanity. It’s the only way.
And that’s where I come in.
Booze is okay, but hard to come by. It’s fun, but it’s a depressant as well. That isn’t what I want. I want more. And I knew I couldn’t be the only one which is why I’ve gone out of my way to sort out something better. For myself and for everyone else too.
There’s a gap in the market, so me and my business partner have found a way to fill it. He’s a clever type, he is. A science guy. The sort of man who can create a pill designed purely for fun and after deciding to set up a little venture together one drunken night, things have been amazing. We might not need money these days but there are things we do need, and this is our way to get it.
This is the American Dream, right?
Of course, we can’t always get what we need, nothing in this world is straightforward, but we’re doing what we can, and we’re doing well. I would call us a serious success. I don’t want for anything anymore, and even though he’s the silent partner, the creator while I sell, not does he.
The love birds are popping their first pill together now. I gave it to them for
free, of course. It’s good business to always start with a freebie. They might not always come back and be willing to pay, but this stuff is highly addictive, so usually, we get lucky.
She looks more into it than he is, I think he would’ve said no if she didn’t practically jump down my throat for something to ‘take the edge off’, but that’s okay.
They’ll be back, I’m sure of it. Just more addicts to add to the ever-growing list.
Oliver
“Danny? Is that you?”
I don’t know how I feel; a range of emotions flood me as I stare at who I think it my friend curled up on the floor with strange sobs coming out of his mouth. After searching for him forever I should be glad, but I don’t know what’s wrong with him.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me either for that matter. The car crash was bad, and I feel like hell because of it. Not that I’m too worried about that.
“Oh my God, Danny it is!”
He turns to face me, the expression on his face terrifying me. It’s almost as if he isn’t on this planet anymore, and I’m in no position to help him. I’m still not as relieved as I should be.
This is all my fault. Every time I leave safety for a mission that isn’t essential, someone gets hurt, I lose one of my closest friends. The first time, it was my police buddy, Enrico, now it’s Danny. Well, it will be Danny if I don’t do something to save him.
“Okay, let me get you up, Danny. Let me get you moving.”
He lets me tuck my hands underneath his armpits, but his eyes don’t really meet mine. They’re glazed over, staring into space like his personality has completely gone.
I really hope he isn’t bit. I cannot stand this.
“No,” I mutter to myself as I lift him upwards. “It was the crash, that’s all. Nothing to worry about.”
Danny doesn’t say anything, even about me talking to myself. He always calls me out on my bullshit, which is why I love him so much.
“Danny, I’m going to rest your arm over my shoulders, okay?” I tell him, doing just that. “I know that I’m not very steady on my feet at the moment, but for you, I will do it.”
I can feel emotion welling. I’m scared it might turn into tears.
“Sorry about the crash, Danny,” I say as I walk as fast as I can while dragging a deadweight human behind me. “That was dumb. I don’t know what happened, I can’t really remember it, but I do apologize. For everything. For Ryan, mostly. I shouldn’t let him get to me.”
I want to yell in temper. This is all because of him and his constant flirting with Katie, the woman I love more than anything in the world. If he would just take the hint and leave her alone then none of this would have happened. Danny would be just fine.
If something happens to Danny, I’m going to kill him. I’ve been looking for a reason forever, but now I have a legitimate one. I will wring his neck and put us all out of our misery once and for all. I can almost feel his throat closing over between my fingers now...
Not that there’s going to be anything seriously wrong with Danny. I don’t want to think that.
Ryan
“Katie, come on, talk to me.”
She screws her nose up, almost in disgust. “Ryan, stop whining. I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. I’m obviously worried about Oliver and Danny. I don’t have time for this.”
I roll my eyes as she rakes her fingers through her straggly hair. This worry is causing her to really let herself go. I have to say I’m not impressed, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want her. She’s mine. She knows she’s mine as well which makes it all the more frustrating.
Some might argue that I just want what I can’t have considering I knew she liked me before. Since she blushed like a beetroot every time she was around me, her crush was easy to pick up on. But I didn’t want her then, not fully. I just liked having her on my hook, just in case.
But now we’re in the middle of this mess and there isn’t much choice.
And now she’s picked someone else to fall for, she looks at him like she used to look at me.
Now I realize that she’s the only one for me, and I need to make her see the same.
Feelings for years don’t just vanish. She liked me forever and she still does. I just need to make her remember how she loves me. That’s why I stick around. Wherever she goes, I do too. Eventually, she’ll realize how much she likes that. Especially if Oliver really is gone, which it’s increasingly looking like he is. Thank God. I’ve been waiting for this moment. I knew it would come as well. That man is unhinged, it was only a matter of time before he did something stupid enough to die.
Shame he took Danny down with him, he wasn’t the worst person in the world, but needs must.
“They aren’t coming back; I keep trying to tell you...”
Her eyes flash with red hot anger. “Don’t you have someone else you can talk to?”
“Like who?” I shrug, uncaring. No one else here means anything to me
“I don’t know, like anyone. There are hundreds of people in this camp. It isn’t like when we were on the road...”
“You look lost.” I try to change the subject. “Like you can’t survive without Oliver around. It’s crazy, he’s such a control freak. You should be happy that he’s gone.”
“Don’t you dare talk to me like that.” She points her finger in my face, but all I notice is how our bodies are almost connected. This is progress. “Don’t discuss Oliver ever.”
“I’m just saying that you need to move on...”
“Move on? Are you serious? There is something wrong with you. I love Oliver, and he’s been gone for a short while. Nowhere near long enough for me to worry...”
“But you look worried.”
“Just get lost, will you?” She moves away, effectively ending our conversation. “Leave me alone.”
As she stalks off, I already know that I’ll do nothing of the sort. I was rescued for a reason, to have my second chance with her, and I will make that happen.
It’s destiny.
Meant to be.
Fate.
Rhys
“I think you’re going to be just fine here,” Hugh tells me with a smile. “You seem to have a good aim already, so with a bit of practice, you’ll be a good enough shot to go out there.”
The words out there fill me with a pit of dread, but I don’t let that show on my face. When my group finally arrived here and we got behind some safe walls, I didn’t think I would ever want to leave again. I thought that I’d seen enough of the outside world to last me a lifetime...but here I am, volunteering myself once more.
I’m going to be back among them. The dead ones. The virus victims. The infected...whatever they’re called. Everyone has a different name for the monsters who wish to tear the flesh off of every living human still going. The beasts who wish to grow their army every single day.
But I need something. Since I lost my best friend, Alex, to...well, whatever it is he’s doing, I’m still not sure yet, I’ve been empty, lonely, life hasn’t had much meaning. This seems like a good way to get that back.
“Yeah, thanks, Hugh. I think so too. I want to do whatever I can to be useful.”
“Well, joining my band of soldiers will surely help you with that. We’re out on the road a lot, picking up survivors and supplies, basically keeping everyone alive.”
I like that. The idea of working towards the camp rather than against it. It’s a real shame that I lost my friend, but instead of moping, I’m going to make some new ones.
Seeing Hugh and the other soldiers laughing, drinking, and having a good time together is actually what drew me to them. I wanted to be a part of that.
And now I am. Or I will be very soon.
That’s worth the risk of putting my life on the line.
“Right, well you’ve already met Baz, Max, and James.” Hugh points to some of the other guys in turn. “Let me introduce you to the rest.”
There are too many names for me to rememb
er all in one go, but I smile gratefully as I meet them all. There’s a flower of hope blooming in my chest that I haven’t experienced for a long time. Finally, I have something to pull me out the funk that I’ve been in. I didn’t want to think it, I was scared to accept it, but I might have been becoming depressed.
This really isn’t the sort of world where I can get help for that kind of problem, so it was a scary thing to see where that could lead.
“Would you like a beer?” James asks me while handing a can to me.
I take it gratefully and clink it against his, feeling like I finally have a place in this world, a purpose. It fills up the hole that’s been growing within me, and I’m sure that all is going to be better from here on out.
Emma
The mush in my hands is killing me.
Knowing what it is makes it worse. A squirrel. At least, it was, once upon a time, before starvation got the better of me and I ate it. I put it in my mouth and chewed it, swallowing it as if it were a normal thing to do.
Who the hell have I become?
I used to want to campaign for animal rights, I was almost a vegan for goodness sake, and now because I’m out here in the world with no food, nothing to drink, and not a friend in the world, I’ve lost it. Everything about myself and who I used to be.
Now, I’m just a monster who eats roadkill.
I could think it’s better because I didn’t actually kill it, but it doesn’t help. I still cannot believe what I’ve done, what it’s doing to me.
I’m disgusting. The absolute worst.
I haven’t ever been a big fan of myself, but now it’s turned to hate. Even starvation shouldn’t make me who I’ve become. I don’t even recognize myself. Not that I’ve seen a mirror in a very long time, but that’s barely relevant. I don’t want to. God knows what I look like. Not me, that’s for sure.