He stopped smiling, but it remained in his eyes. “Aye, I try nae tae smile too much. There is nae always so much tae smile about, lass.”
“Oh, really?” She lifted an eyebrow. “I would think that finding new and fresh ways to torture your sister’s guest would give you plenty of entertainment.”
Angus chuckled then, sitting back in his chair comfortably. He stared at Charlotte while he took another drink of his wine. He realized it then. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. She had a wild, ostentatious beauty, but then, when she added this sense of humor to the mix, it made her even more desirable. He suddenly began to ache to touch her.
He saw Charlotte stare back at him, and her lips parted slightly as he took her in. But, then, he broke eye contact and moved forward to eat again. “Ye are right. ‘Tis plenty of fun for me tae follow a wild woman around the hills and forests of this Isle endlessly tae make sure that she is all right.”
Charlotte scoffed. “Well, I would much rather be a wild woman than a dull and overly cautious man.” She crossed her arms and waited for his reply. He did not fall for the trap just yet.
He paused for a little while, her words sinking in. “Dull, am I? Well, I will have tae be dull in order tae save this clan while my brother leaves us.” His voice had taken on a tinge of anger, and he could sense Charlotte stiffening. No, he did not want to ruin this evening. It felt so good to be near her, to talk to her without fighting. So, he cleared his throat and tried again.
“Can I ask ye something?”
Charlotte continued to eat, but she nodded, her curls bouncing atop her head as she did so.
“What is it that ye like so much about being on this Isle? What is it that draws ye?”
Charlotte looked up again at Angus, watching the light bounce off his hard features. “Out of all the questions that you might have asked me, I would never have expected this one.” She swirled the wine in her glass and smiled a little. She sighed. Angus’ eyes were still on her. Even when she looked away, she could feel them watching her, as if looking inside of her and guessing what she was about to say.
Charlotte was used to having men’s eyes on her, but this was so different. His eyes were filled with something she could not quite identify. Could Julia truly be right? Was Angus attracted to her? “I suppose I love the fresh air and the countryside. And here...I can just be. Whoever I want to be. Whereas at home, I had to be something else.”
She stopped, letting the words she’d said softly float out into the air. She took another large gulp of her wine. It was filling her head and making her feel light, but she still knew that what she had said was more than she would have said to anyone. She looked at Angus hesitantly. His expression had not changed, but she could see his jaw muscle clench slightly. Was he angry at what she’d said?
He spoke, but he sounded like it was troubling him to do so. “What did ye have tae be, lass?”
Charlotte exhaled a long breath. “Perfect.” She took another drink. This evening was going a lot differently than she’d expected. She’d just revealed things to Angus that she had hardly revealed to anyone and had not totally revealed to herself. She realized then that she’d probably had too much to drink.
She heard him breathe out loudly and looked over to see him leaning his head onto his fingers, looking as if he was trying to figure her out. “I suppose it’s quite late,” she said, “and I appear to have said too much already. I need to rest before I see my patients tomorrow.” She tried to stand, but when she did so, she wobbled a little. In a flash, Angus was by her side. He grabbed onto her elbow and placed a soft hand on the small of her back. She turned to see his face close to hers, and she nearly fell into him.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “I must have had my fair share of wine. How embarrassing.” She chuckled nervously.
She tried to walk forward, but Angus’ grip on her only tightened. She could feel the heat of his hand on her back. She began to take short, tight breaths. She felt as if the room had suddenly filled with heat. Angus looked down at her. “I think what ye’d really like is tae escape my dull presence. Ye dinnae seem tae me tae be the fainting, swooning type.” He didn’t smile, but his voice was light.
Charlotte pulled back a little so that her elbow was out of his hand. But, he did not remove his hand from her back and was still just as close. She could see that he’d cut his beard so that it was neatly covering his jaw. His hair had been washed and pulled back into a low bun, and he smelled slightly of mint. For some reason, she was staring at his mouth and his perfect lips, which she had only registered at that moment. His eyes had always been her main focus, but now, his lips were drawing her in.
Attempting to change the subject, she replied, “Of that, I am not, Sir. But, this room feels very stuffy. I feel like we need to open a window or something.”
“Let me do so for ye.”
He let go and wandered over to the window to open it. A rush of cool night air flowed in, and with that, and the fact that Angus had left her side, Charlotte felt like she could breathe again. He leaned back against the wall near the window, loosened his tight cravat, and crossed his arms. “Stay, lass. Until ye are feeling better. I know what ‘tis like tae go tae bed when the world is spinning. Come and sit.” Angus had no idea what he was saying anymore. He just didn’t want her to leave. She couldn’t leave, or else the moment would be broken.
They would go back to normal tomorrow, she arguing with him, and he trying to get her to do what he thought was best. When Charlotte saw his neckcloth hanging open, the ends hanging down his chest, she swallowed slowly. She could see his Adam’s apple and a thin layer of hair that lay at the base of his neck. The wine had gone to her head. Now, she was afraid that she’d reveal to him right then and there that she wished he would put his hands back on her again. But that thought no longer seemed so ridiculous.
She moved towards him, even though he was motioning to the chair located next to him in front of the fire. She wasn’t thinking anymore. Her mind was focused in one direction. The heat that had filled her veins was pooling between her legs, and she ached with desire for this man who was everything she thought she did not want. And still, she moved. It seemed as if time had slowed, and she saw Angus’ hands move to his side, and his lips part in a slight surprise as he watched her walking towards him.
She wasn’t thinking. She didn’t want to think anymore, at least at this moment. She just wanted to act impulsively for once without worrying about how stupid or weak or ill-behaved she would look to others. There was something between them this night that wasn’t there before, or, at least, they’d never allowed it to be. She wanted to explore it, just a little.
Soon enough, she was right in front of him, and with one glance into his soft brown eyes full of surprise and question, Charlotte grabbed hold of his collar with both of her hands and pulled his face closer so that she could place her lips on his. She didn’t care about the arguments right then or the fact that she would probably regret it tomorrow. He pulled back a little in surprise, his arms at his sides, but he didn’t break the kiss.
Then, in an instant, Angus opened his mouth to hers and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She could feel his tongue entering her mouth, and she moaned into him, moving her tongue forward as well, tasting him. She turned her head to deepen the kiss and placed her hands on the side of his face, feeling the soft tickle of his beard under her hands.
He tasted like sweet wine, and Charlotte could feel her center throbbing with need. Never before had a kiss she’d shared with a man in London felt like this. Before, it had always been forbidden but still with a sense of decorum. This was wild and untamed, and a fire kindled between them that began to grow. She could feel his hands roaming around her back and then gripping her waist, pulling her body towards his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and opened her mouth once more to kiss him again.
The heat was becoming too much. Her body threatened to burst into flame. So, she slowed an
d pulled away. They breathed heavily in front of each other, their lips nearly touching. Charlotte moved her hands away from his face and backed up. She felt something new as she broke the kiss, and it scared her. “I have to go to bed,” she said, and Angus nodded wordlessly, his mouth still open as he tried to catch his breath.
She began to walk away, annoyed, and a little hurt that he did not try to stop her. She turned back to him and said over her shoulder, “You’re not dull at all, Angus MacLean.”
Angus was rubbing a hand on the back of his neck and looked up at her. He said in a low voice. “And even if ye dinnae think it, lass, ye are already perfect.”
Charlotte blushed and picked up her skirts to leave the room, her head swimming. Had Angus MacLean just called her perfect?
Chapter Six
Angus remained in the Hall for a few minutes after Charlotte had left. His mind was whirling, not just from the wine but also from what had just happened. He thought that it might have been a dream, but he kept reminding himself that no, Charlotte Andrews just kissed him and kissed him like he had never been kissed before.
Angus was not one to be as flirtatious and promiscuous as some of the other men in his clan, but he was no saint. He had had his fair share of kissing and love-making, and now, after kissing a Sassenach for the first time, he realized that he hadn’t wanted it to end. He had felt a rush of disappointment when she’d pulled away. If the kissing was as good as that, he wanted to see what it would be like if more happened.
He couldn’t help but grin to himself as he sat by the fire. He had never been more shocked in his life. Calum and Julia would practically burst if they ever found out that their little plan had worked even better than expected. Which is why they could never be told. They would have to go on their way to London without ever knowing what had happened. It would give them too much satisfaction, and then they would set to making a permanent arrangement.
He realized nothing could ever happen. He felt a little grim at the thought, but it was true. He could not marry a woman of that caliber. It just wasn’t to be his lot in life. He was sure she was after someone rich and titled, and English, of course. And he didn’t want to marry. He wanted to live life in peace and do as he pleased. His parents had died long ago, and it had just been he and his brother, for a very long time, running the clan; he was used to following his own path.
He knew that there were many joys of married life as he had seen in his parents and his brother, but he had never met any woman who had spurred him to desire those things for himself. He preferred to live in his own way, especially if the women that surrounded him on the Isle of Mull were as frustrating as Charlotte Andrews. If she were his wife, then he would certainly go mad.
And they couldn’t simply make love, and then she leave for the barracks, even though his body was crying out for it to be so. Julia and Calum would kill him if he used her ill in such a way. But, he reminded himself that the little minx had kissed him first. He would never have done so, even if he’d wished it.
And only when her lips touched his did he realize that he had wished it, and her kissing him had opened up a wave of desire that practically crashed over him. During the kiss, his cock had begun to harden, and he was afraid she might feel it. But she had pulled away just in time and hadn’t seemed to notice. Besides, she was most likely not an experienced woman, coming from the background she did, although the kiss said otherwise. It was like a well-practiced act, and they just fell into it; no hesitation, fear, or awkwardness.
Their mouths had fit together perfectly, and Angus knew he wanted to do it again. And again. She was perfect, just as he’d said. He was surprised that he had revealed so much to the lass when he had tried so hard not to give her the satisfaction of knowing that he found her desirable.
“But, it cannae be,” he said to the flames.
He resolved that tomorrow, once both of their heads were cleared of the wine and tension, they would go back to normal. They would have to. There was no other way to be. Nothing else made sense. It would be fine. Liam would accompany her around the island, and they could eat separately most of the time. He would be busy – away on hunting and trading expeditions, and other clan business. He had no time for this.
He nodded to reassure himself that this was the best decision. But why did he feel a little disappointment creeping in? Maybe another bottle of wine wouldn’t hurt.
* * *
Charlotte stood with her back against her bedroom door. She called the maid in to help her out of her corset so that she could sleep. She was exhausted. But she wanted a little bit more time before she went to bed to think about what happened. A smile crossed her lips as she sat, waiting for the maid to arrive. She looked in the mirror at her reflection. She was practically glowing.
She felt her lips with her fingertips. It had been the best kiss she’d ever experienced. And while she wanted to regret it with everything in her, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Who would regret a kiss like that? It felt so good to just throw caution to the wind and throw herself into the man’s arms, a man who was more beautiful than anyone else she had ever seen. And the most wonderful thing was, he had wanted it just as much as she did. She could feel it in the way his tongue prodded hers and the way his arms wrapped around her tightly as if he never wanted to let her go. Julia was right. Angus was attracted to her.
The maid, Rose, entered. “Hello, Miss.”
Charlotte stood up, the smile still on her face, and Rose began to undress her. “Pleasant evening, Miss?”
Charlotte nodded. “Yes, it was nice. The food was excellent, thank you. What time will the laird and lady be leaving in the morning? Are they abed already?”
The maid nodded. “Aye, they’ve been abed for a while now. They will leave afore the sun comes up tae make good time.”
Charlotte nodded. What would Julia think if she knew what had just happened? She would be so excited and would wish to discuss wedding plans with her. Perhaps it was for the best that she was leaving because Charlotte wouldn’t feel compelled to tell her. And the secret would be safe between the two of them. That was good, for now.
The maid loosened her corset and removed it, leaving her only in her white shift. She also untied the ribbon from around her neck and took out the pins from her curls. As her hair fell to her shoulders, the maid said, “Yer gown was lovely taenight, Miss. ‘Twas too bad ye couldnae wear it tae a ball in London.”
Charlotte smiled at her own reflection. “‘Twas no matter. I had a lovely time in it, after all.”
The maid soon left, oblivious to Charlotte’s meaning, and Charlotte was left to brush her hair. She preferred to do it herself. Finally, she was alone with her own thoughts. And what a flurry of thoughts they were. She had kissed Angus MacLean, and no one else knew about it. She had done something that she had never expected but had secretly desired, and it felt so freeing and deliciously wicked.
But a sort of solemnness came over her as she brushed through her curls. She wasn’t sure what tomorrow would be like, but she was certain they would both try to go back to normal. They had to. She entertained no ideas about marrying a Highlander man, and she knew her father would never give his permission. Even though he allowed her this time of sweet freedom, there was no point in hiding from that fact. She would have to follow his instructions on who to marry. But she had no plans of marrying for some time, and certainly not to Angus MacLean.
So he was a good kisser. What did that matter? Would she give up her life plans to be with him? Not a chance. Besides last night, every other time they were together, they were always arguing. It wasn’t as if everything was rosy when they spent time in each other’s company. This had been just a little surprise in their relationship, an odd circumstance that certainly could never happen again.
She would have to treat him with coldness from now on, especially if he got it into his head that that sort of thing would be happening over and over again. She had had that experience in London before. Give a man a
little bit of attention, and then he begins to follow you around like a puppy, especially if he’s seeking a wife. She couldn’t imagine him doing that, but still, she would have to be careful.
She hoped that she would not have to explain to him that they could never do more than that. But she had a feeling that he would be returning to his old self tomorrow as well, which would be a relief. She sighed and slipped into her bed, relishing the soft silk of her sheets. Tomorrow would be busy anyway. There would be no time to think about kisses, or beautiful lips, or strong jaws, or the way that Angus’ hands had felt moving around her, nearing her backside.
She shook her head. No, it was time to sleep, time to put everything out of her mind.
You’re sensible, Charlotte. Men are plentiful, and you do not have to give your heart away to the first man who makes you feel like that. Or the only man.
Mending a Highland Heart: Healing him was more scandalous than she ever imagined… Page 5