by Gail Bowen
Charlie’s eyes were filled with pain. “Jo, I’m so sorry.”
“Me too, and it gets worse. Doyle delivered a box of the tapes to Mieka’s house. The tapes were all identified by date, time and location. Mieka was able to match one of Ian and Jill’s quickies with the night of her farewell ceremony from grade eight. After the ceremony there was a bonfire and a barbecue for the grade eights and their parents. Ian had to skip it because he said Howard needed him at the legislature. When Mieka played the tape, she heard her father tell Jill that he couldn’t get through the night without being inside her.”
For a long while Charlie D and I were silent, watching the rain pelt the sunroof, absorbed in our own thoughts. Finally, I turned to look through the side window. Across the street, the neighbourhood’s gentle eccentric, Ruby Mullins, and her dog were out for their afternoon walk. Today they wore matching tartan slickers.
I touched Charlie D’s arm and pointed. “Rain or shine, Ruby and Sparky never miss a day. The first time I saw those two I was pregnant with Mieka,” I said.
“Thirty-five years ago,” Charlie D said. “So, the dog you saw that day must have been the original Sparky.”
“It was,” I said. “And this is number three. Ruby likes the name, and she says all her dogs have liked it too.”
“Proof once again that whether or not it is clear to us, the universe is unfolding as it should,” Charlie said.
“That quote was your father’s kryptonite,” I said. “Whenever he exploded because one of our policies was, in his words, ‘going tits up in the ditch,’ your mother would smile sweetly, quote those lines from ‘Desiderata’ and walk away.”
“It always drove him crazy,” Charlie said, and we both smiled.
Memories of Marnie always drew Charlie and me close. “We’re going to get through this,” I said. “I guess I should start by listening to Hugh Fairbairn’s argument for having Jill in town.”
Charlie leaned in. “Do you know Hugh?”
“I’ve never met him. All I know about him is that he’s Julie Evanson’s third husband. Her first two husbands were principled, kind and gentle, and Julie walked all over them.”
“She won’t walk all over Hugh Fairbairn. He’s a hard-ass.”
“He may have a soft side. He did offer to apologize to me about any hurt Jill’s presence in Regina would cause our family.”
“He did, but only because you were a hurdle he had to clear. Other people’s emotions don’t matter to Hugh. That’s not necessarily a character defect for a CEO. He’s taken a big gamble with the fall programming, and he wants to win. Hugh believes Jill is the only person who’s aware of exactly where each of our new programs stands. She knows what’s been done, what still needs to be done and she knows how to make it happen. Kickoff is Labour Day — nine days from now. Hugh says we need someone who can get us out of the gate, and Jill is that person.”
“That makes sense,” I said. “And since Sisters and Strangers is the story of my childhood and adolescence, our family has a stake in this too.”
“Hugh is aware of that, and he raised another point that he felt would resonate with you and with Mieka. If MediaNation’s fall programming tanks, the jobs of the people in our unit will be on the line, and that will just be the beginning. Most of our programming comes from production companies, and if the new season fails, the production companies working with us will take a hit. Careers will be derailed, and jobs will be lost.” He paused. “I don’t think we have a choice. Do you?”
“No. So, fill me in. I know you and Jill had a meeting. How did that go?”
“Professionally, it was great. We went to the MediaNation cafeteria. More accurately, we went outside the MediaNation cafeteria, so Jill could smoke.”
“I thought she’d quit.”
“Apparently not. Anyway, it’s Saturday, so there weren’t many people around, and we were able to talk freely. She’s aware of the morale problem, and she shares my opinion that everything that’s gone wrong can be traced back to what happened with Rosemary Morrissey.
“Jill was in Nunavut when the Morrissey fiasco occurred. She was appalled not just at what happened to Rosemary, but also at Joseph Monk’s tactics. Jill said she tore a strip off Monk, but he claims he had no recourse. She’s tried to track Rosemary down, but so far no luck. She didn’t know much about the situation with Ellen — just that it happened — but she does want to be kept apprised of developments.”
“Jill won’t let what happened to Rosemary and Ellen be swept under the carpet,” I said. “That’s another plus for having her in Regina.” I glanced past Charlie D’s shoulder. “Mieka’s at the living room window. She’ll be worrying.”
“I’ll go inside in a minute.”
“If you’re planning to plead Jill’s case with Mieka, Pete, Angus and me, you might as well go inside now.” I started the car. “Are you familiar with the old saying, ‘What the axe forgets, the tree remembers’?”
Charlie D shook his head. “No, but I get what you’re saying.”
“Good, because every time Jill and my husband checked into a motel or had a quickie at the office, they took an axe to our family. Seemingly, they were oblivious to the damage they were doing, but we’ve had to live with those cuts.”
Charlie D shifted his position to face me. “And despite all the cuts, the tree is still growing, Jo. Everyone in our family has a good life and a bright future.”
“And you think Jill doesn’t.”
He nodded. “My experience at CVOX taught me to really listen to what a person says or doesn’t say. As long as Jill and I were talking shop, she was fine, but I noticed that she kept checking the time. I asked if I was keeping her from something. She said no, but she was concerned that she was keeping me away from Mieka and the girls. I was getting anxious about that myself, so I picked up on the cue and offered to drive her to her hotel.”
“Where’s she staying?”
Charlie D grimaced. “She’s staying with my father.”
“With Howard?” My sigh seemed to come from deep within me. “Just when I thought the situation couldn’t get worse.”
“The arrangement makes sense — at least on a practical level. Jill suddenly needed a place to live, and Howard’s leaving for Toronto on Labour Day. He’ll be gone until December, when the class he’s teaching finishes, so his condo will be empty in the meantime.”
“I’m sure Howard sees this as a golden opportunity to bring Jill back into our lives. In the days after we learned about the affair, Howard was relentless in trying to get me to forgive Jill.” I could feel the beginnings of a headache and I rubbed my temples. “Jill and I did manage to patch together a reconciliation of sorts, but I was relieved when she moved to Toronto, and it was finally over.”
“It isn’t over for Jill,” Charlie said. “Howard wasn’t home when I took Jill to his condo. She knew where he’d left the key, so I helped her carry her bags inside and said goodbye. When I turned to leave, she stepped in front of me. We were so close our faces were almost touching. She said, ‘Two months, Charlie D. That’s all I’m asking. I know that Joanne and her family don’t want me here, but two months will let me give the new slate of programming a solid start, and if I’m lucky, it will give me a chance to recover at least a part of what I’ve lost. I’m trying to be realistic. I’ve been seeing a therapist, and I’ve faced the fact that I will never again be a part of the lives of Joanne and her children.”
“Charlie, if Jill has accepted the fact that things between us will never be the way they were, what is she hoping to recover?”
He paused to consider it. “Her self-respect. Jill said the therapist has helped her understand that she seeks out relationships with men who will hurt her because she believes she deserves to be hurt.”
“That’s a first step, and it’s a good one,” I said. “After Ian died, I spent years watchi
ng Jill squander her emotional capital through entanglements with ‘bad boys,’ as she called them. It puzzled me; it made me angry and it worried me sick. Jill is smart, attractive and giving, but she always chose men who hurt her, and hurt her badly. As soon as I heard Slater Doyle’s tapes, I understood everything. For fifteen years, Jill was Ian’s mistress. Somehow she was able to delude herself into believing that what she and Ian were doing didn’t affect our family. After he died, she saw what his death did to us. It was a massive betrayal, and Jill saw it through the prism of Catholic guilt. She told me once that a Catholic education is like stigmata — perpetually suppurating. That’s not true, but it was Jill’s perception.”
“So, Jill’s ‘bad boys’ were a way to expiate her sins?”
“I guess so. Charlie, where do Mieka, Pete, Angus and me fit into this?”
“Jill wants you to give her a chance.”
“And what did you say?”
“I said exactly what you would have said if you’d seen Jill’s face.”
“You told her you’d try,” I said.
“And I will. All I’m asking is that you keep an open mind.” Charlie gave me a crooked smile, then leaned across and kissed my cheek. “You and Mieka are strong, and you’re fair. You’ll do the right thing.” With that, he jumped out of the car and ran up the driveway. I waited till he was dry and inside, before I headed home to a night filled with memories and unanswerable questions.
Chapter Three
Zack was waiting at the door with a martini. I placed the box of snickerdoodles on the cobbler’s bench in the entryway, removed my raincoat, took the martini glass from Zack and sipped deeply. “Transcendent,” I said. “But aren’t you supposed to be decked out in nothing but Saran Wrap when you welcome me home?”
Zack turned his wheelchair towards the kitchen. “Remind me where we keep it.”
“Not necessary,” I said. “The image of you swaddled in Saran will be enough.”
“Good. Then let’s take our drinks into the family room, watch the weather and be grateful we’re inside.”
Like our bedroom, the family room overlooks the creek, and for a few moments Zack and I sat hand in hand, absorbed by the ferocity of the storm. A finger of lightning flashed from sky to earth, throwing into sharp relief the struggle of the creek bank’s saplings to withstand the lashing wind.
“If it’s this bad so close to the centre of the city, it must be wicked in those new developments in the north end,” Zack said.
Zack knew me well. When I didn’t pick up on the subject of the storm’s effect on the city, he realized I needed time to gather my thoughts. Being close to Zack always centred me. He’s a handsome man, strong featured with a broad forehead, penetrating green eyes and a generous sensuous mouth. The familiar woody-citrusy scent of his aftershave was calming, and it wasn’t long before I was ready to plunge in.
“Jill Oziowy is back in town,” I said. “She’s MediaNation’s new executive producer in charge of programming, so she’ll be based in Regina.”
“That sounds as if she’s here to stay,” Zack said.
“According to Charlie, the first order of business will be restoring a sense of camaraderie among the members of their unit. Jill’s apparently plugged into the Rosemary Morrissey situation, so she’ll be a real asset at raising morale.”
“I haven’t heard from Ellen Exton yet. Jill might be in a position to help straighten that out.”
“It’s still early, but Jill has asked to be kept in the loop about Ellen, so that’s good news. Charlie says that fine-tuning programs to ensure they’re running smoothly will take at least two months. He also says that whether Jill stays here permanently will be up to the kids and me.”
Zack sipped his martini. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” I said. “But I should, because Charlie said we’re going to have to find a way to go forward that works for us all — at least for the next two months.”
“Isn’t the simplest way to go forward just to have Jill return to Toronto and do what needs to be done from there?” Zack said.
“That was my first thought too,” I said. “But according to Charlie, the situation at MediaNation is grave, and Jill needs to be on-site.”
“We’ve had a few situations like that at Falconer Shreve, and they do require steady hands on the tiller until the crisis has passed. I imagine Jill will be so focused on work that you and the kids won’t know she’s in town.”
“That’s not the way Jill sees it,” I said. As I related our son-in-law’s assessment of Jill’s state of mind, Zack’s eyes never left my face.
When I finished, he said, “Charlie’s right, Jo. Knowing how much Jill is counting on this chance to make amends, you won’t walk away. Mieka and Pete are going to have to come to their own decisions about how to deal with the situation, but they’re smart enough to realize that they have futures filled with possibilities, and Jill has nothing but a shred of hope. They won’t take that from her.”
“I’ll talk to them tomorrow, and Zack, I feel good about this decision. When I went to the studio to tape the interview with Charlie D about Sisters and Strangers, seeing how the old Nationtv building was coming back to life warmed my heart. For almost a decade, the place was all but deserted, and it was great to see people working in that beautiful space again.”
“My partners and I were invited to a holiday shindig in that building — that must have been in the mid-’80s. We were drumming up clients, and there was free booze, so the event was a magnet for a start-up law firm like ours. The event was held in the galleria and it was a knockout: three storeys high with glass walls, terrazzo floors and this towering Christmas tree.
“We’d just moved into our office over the company that made dentures, and we were excited about having an entire floor to ourselves. I remember the five of us gazing at that glittering two-storey tree and realizing we had a long way to go.”
“And you got there,” I said. “Falconer Shreve now occupies the top three floors in a glass tower that it owns.”
A shadow of grief passed over my husband’s face. “And because someone hated Falconer Shreve’s founding partners enough to kill three of us, I’m the only partner still alive to see our shining offices.”
I moved behind Zack’s chair and reached down to embrace him. “You, Blake, Delia, Chris and Kevin had twenty-five great years together.”
“It wasn’t enough,” Zack said. He cleared his throat. “But focusing on what might have been is pointless. Let’s talk about the future. Tell me more about the resurrection of MediaNation.”
I gave Zack a quick hug and went back to my place beside him. “The day Charlie and I had lunch, we ate in what was once the Nationtv cafeteria, but is now the MediaNation cafeteria. It’s as gorgeous as ever.”
“I’ve never been in it,” Zack said. “Whenever I had an interview, I just went straight to the elevator and downstairs.”
“We can remedy that,” I said. “When the leaves turn, I’ll take you to MediaNation for breakfast. The cafeteria has killer cinnamon buns; a sensational view of the park; and on the east wall, a Victor Cicansky ceramic called The Garden Fence that’s a real stunner. Sixty feet of bright ceramic vegetables and flowers peeking out through the slats of a fence. I used to take Madeleine there for tea when she was younger. She always insisted on sitting at a table near the sunflowers.”
As always when we talked about the grandchildren, Zack’s face grew soft. “I suspect Lena chose a table near the vegetables. Remember all those weird vegetables she used to draw?”
“Every vegetable had a face,” I said. “And now we’ll be able to revisit The Garden Fence with the girls and their baby brother. It’s nice to see that space come alive again. When Nationtv hit bottom, the cafeteria turned into a morgue. They cut back on food services and finally eliminated them altogether. At the end there were just
machines with soft drinks, chips and candy bars. Nobody sat at the tables; they took whatever they’d purchased downstairs to their desks.
“The day Charlie and I had lunch, it was like old times. The cafeteria offered a full menu, and people were sitting at the tables again, chatting and eating. Charlie wanted to talk about MediaNation’s promotion plans for Sisters and Strangers. He’s seen some of the clips they’re going to be using. He says they’re powerful, but he was concerned they might be too close to the bone for me.”
“Are you worried about that?” Zack said.
“No,” I said. “I was as involved as I needed to be with the production, and we’ve seen the director’s cut. It’s terrific, and I’m glad an audience will get to see the series. I told Charlie D that revisiting the past had been painful, and I was ready to let go of Sisters and Strangers. The issue was settled, so we moved onto other subjects.”
“And moving on yet again,” Zack said. “Taylor called when you were at Mieka’s.”
“How did she sound?”
“Terrific. She was in the Great Hall of the Museum of Anthropology at UBC.”
“All those carvings and sculptures from the West Coast Indigenous Peoples — Taylor must have been in her element.”
“She was. Apparently, she’s bought what she describes as a ‘serious’ camera, and she’s enthusiastic about the stills she’s been taking. She knows how much I love that eagle carving she and the other kids and grandkids gave me for my birthday, and she thought I could go over her photos and pick out some I’d like framed for my office.”
“It sounds as if our daughter might be over whatever was troubling her,” I said. “I’m relieved. This is the first serious relationship for both Vale and Taylor, and they’ve had a slew of adjustments to make. They’re both at pivotal points in their careers. Vale’s role as Sally Love in Sisters and Strangers is attracting a lot of media attention, and she’s putting in twelve-hour days on the set of her new movie. Taylor has a show at the Seibel Gallery in November, and she’s alone in a hotel room 1,743 kilometres from her studio. Not ideal circumstances for two young women starting a life together.”