by Nicole Helm
His blue eyes were guarded and alert. He still held the gun as if it was a part of his arm. He was tall and broad and strong, and it was odd that she wasn’t really...afraid of him. He could be anyone. He could do anything to her.
But he hadn’t. They’d saved each other instead. Because he hadn’t disappeared when they’d been shot at. He’d said we.
When he finally spoke, his voice was devoid of any emotion or strain. It was straight detached authority.
“I’ve got a team coming to sweep the area.”
“They might not find the guy,” she pointed out.
He nodded. “If he can’t find us, I imagine he’ll disappear for a bit until he comes up with a new plan. Or report to a boss. Too many options, really, but we’ve got a slight visual. If my team doesn’t get him, we’ll see if we can’t identify him and go from there.” He nodded toward one of the cots in the opposite corner of the room. “You should get some sleep.”
She glanced at the cot, then back at him. “What are you going to do?”
“Wait.”
“Then I’ll wait, too.”
He shook his head and took a few steps away from her, though that steady blue gaze never left her. “You’re just an innocent bystander in all this, Willa. Let the professionals handle it.”
She’d been told that all her life. No, she hadn’t wanted anything to do with her parents’ lifestyle, but everyone acted like that meant she was helpless. A pawn to be moved around and protected, but not trusted. Not involved.
She’d saved his life, and he was dismissing her. It didn’t sit right. At all. Maybe she didn’t have a normal life, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t fight for the right to have a life.
“No, I don’t think I’m going to do that anymore.”
* * *
HOLDEN FROWNED AT WILLA. He wouldn’t say she looked fragile, exactly, but shadows were beginning to appear under her eyes. She was all she appeared. An innocent woman stuck in a bad situation through no fault of her own.
So, why wouldn’t she let him handle it? “Look—”
“No. You look. I don’t care who my parents are. I don’t care who this hit man is. I don’t care who you are.” With each I don’t care, the fury in her voice rose another octave. “It’s my house. These are my animals and my responsibility. It’s my life. I won’t just go to sleep and let everyone else handle it. That’s over now.”
Holden wanted to sigh and rub his temples, but that would give the illusion of weakness, and he couldn’t allow any of those. He was in charge here, and she had to understand that.
“Look, I don’t know what your deal with your parents is, and you won’t tell me, so I have to take this over and handle it. That’s my assignment. Keep the target from ending up dead and take down the hit man.”
“I’m not dead. Could I have been? Seems that way. But he decided to shoot you first. When I had my back to the window, he could have taken me out without you being the wiser. Until it was too late. So, explain to me why you think I’m the target?”
She made a few too many good points. “I’m not the target.”
She shrugged. “As I’ve said more than once—you were the one with the sight on your head.”
It grated that she was right. He still didn’t think he was the target. That was instinct. But her point that she wasn’t the target, either... Well, it wasn’t completely off base. “Tell me about your parents, Willa,” he said earnestly.
“I can’t do that, Holden.” Her response was just as earnest, and it almost seemed as if there was some apology in her gaze. He was deluding himself.
“Then you’re of no help to me. Go to bed.”
Her expression went mutinous. Furious. And there was something particularly warped inside him that he found that attractive. That he found her attractive under all these insane circumstances.
She stood in front of him, chin raised and eyes flashing. “Do you want to make a bet?”
“Huh?” He understood next to nothing about this woman, and he found that...a little too fascinating.
“A bet. Let’s make a bet.”
“What kind of bet?”
“If I can knock you down before you can knock me down, I help. If you knock me down first, I’ll go sit in a corner like a child.”
The cold chill of memory shuddered through him. “I don’t fight women,” he said flatly.
Her hands curled into fists, and she cocked her head to the side. “Then I guess I’ll win.”
She struck out, a decent jab. Holden dodged it.
She didn’t just have good instincts—she’d been trained to fight. Each strike was precise, strong, and got her closer to landing the blow. He dodged, enough that most of the punches or elbows missed. Sometimes she’d land a glancing hit, but they didn’t hurt.
Still, she didn’t tire herself. She just kept moving forward, and Holden stayed on the defensive. Once he grabbed her fist to keep it from landing, but she only pivoted and swept a leg out.
He hissed out a breath when that kick landed. Hard. “Stop this.”
“No,” she said. Her voice was a little breathless, but she didn’t stop. She kept advancing, striking out, missing, but never giving up. She made a glancing blow across his chin, which had him stepping back. But she’d maneuvered him on purpose—because he stepped on something and had to overcorrect to stop himself from tripping. Which gave her the chance to sweep out her leg and land a kick at just the right place on his knee to have his leg buckling.
He didn’t fall to the ground but momentarily went down to his knee which, even if he’d be able to jump right back up if this was a real fight, was clearly a loss for him in her book.
She stood above him. Grinning. She was sweating a little and breathing hard, but her green eyes danced with mischief. “I win.”
He scowled up at her. “I didn’t fight back.”
She shrugged. “That sounds like your problem.” She held out a hand as if she was going to help him up.
A few scenarios ran through his mind at that moment. Pulling her down and pinning her to the ground. Telling her No, I think I won chief among them. But his body had an odd, electrical response to that little fantasy, which meant he couldn’t indulge it.
Still, he took her hand and let her help him up, even though he didn’t need it. Her hand was slim and small, but callused and work-roughened. She was strong. A lithe kind of strength. Her fighting style wasn’t graceful. It was principled, determined and effective.
She let go of his hand, but he found his own grip on her arm tightening. She raised an eyebrow at him. She wasn’t exactly who she pretended to be. Or maybe she was. Maybe she was all the little facets of herself she’d shown. Friendly farm girl. Cold, icy operative. Strong, determined fighter. He wasn’t sure he would believe all three facets in anyone else, but in Willa they somehow made sense.
“I’m not a child,” she began reasonably. She tried to tug her hand out of his grasp once, but when he didn’t loosen his grip she simply relaxed her hand in his. “I’m not even a liability. Just because I’m not part of this whole world doesn’t mean I wasn’t trained to fend for myself. My parents didn’t leave me unprotected. They finally let me have my own life because I proved, over and over again, I could handle whatever threat came. And I did. I wasn’t the one he shot at. You were. And, if I have to remind you, I saved your life.”
Her discomfort with that had clearly disappeared, while his only grew. He said nothing, just stood there. Still holding her hand in his. Why? He didn’t have a clue.
“If we work together, Holden, we might be able to figure this out,” she said, so earnest as she stepped toward him. So that there was maybe a foot between them at most. “But we’d have to tell each other everything, and I know we both think we can’t. But I’d be willing to bend a little, if you were.” Her green eyes were darker down here, o
r maybe she was just more serious. More...something. So many different people wrapped up into one.
And don’t you recognize that deep in your soul?
He’d rather forget his soul had ever existed for the moment. So, he focused on reason and sense and the assignment. She was right, on too many counts. He didn’t agree that meant he was the actual target, just that something more than just taking her out was going on.
There were things he could tell her, especially with North Star sending out a team he would no doubt need to rendezvous with. And if she would unbend a little to tell him what her parents were involved in, he could handle this. Really handle it.
“All right,” he said after a while. “We can try it your way.”
She grinned up at him, and there was a jolt that had him thinking about Reece again. Giving up everything he was all because some pretty woman had wrapped him up in her. Holden wouldn’t follow that same path.
He wouldn’t.
But he finally understood how easy it would be.
Chapter Seven
Willa’s heart was hammering in her chest, but she didn’t tug away her hand like she wanted to. Holden was playing some kind of power game, and she wouldn’t let him see that it affected her—in any of the ways it affected her.
She wanted to clear her throat, but that would give her away, too. She kept the easy smile in place and tried to swallow surreptitiously. “Well, since I saved you and all, I think you should go first.”
He stared at her for a very, very long time. She managed to keep her expression bland, her outward demeanor cool. Inside she was a riot of nerves and some other fluttery feeling she didn’t want to give name to.
His eyes were very blue.
“I’ve told you most of it. My group is tasked with stopping a hit man. I can’t be the target because the hit man doesn’t know who I am or that I’m after him.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know.”
She shook her head. “That’s hardheaded. They could have found out.”
“Okay, they found out I’m after them. That doesn’t negate that they had a different target to begin with. One they’re supposed to take out. Regardless of me.”
She hated to admit it, but that was true. She could argue coincidence—after all, she hadn’t gotten the ammunition in her PO box. She didn’t know who these men were or whom they were after. Maybe they’d unwittingly involved her in something that had nothing to do with her?
But her parents had sent the warning message. Yellow meant to be on the lookout.
“It would help if we knew who your parents are,” he said carefully. He was trying not to press. Not to demand. She’d give him credit for that. “And who they’re involved with.”
She blinked, realizing in a way she hadn’t before that he...suspected her parents. Of being the bad guy in this scenario. “You think they’re...” She trailed off. She wasn’t supposed to out her parents. Ever. No matter the circumstances.
She had wanted to tell a great many people in her life who her parents were, or at the very least what they did. So they’d understand her. She’d always kept her mouth shut. Always swallowed down the truth. Because she was supposed to. For her safety, and for her parents’ safety.
“You want to protect them,” Holden said softly. “I understand. We always want to protect our parents, but have they protected you?”
“Yes. Always. You don’t understand. You couldn’t. They tried...” Willa moved away, and Holden finally let her hand go. She had to move. She had to think. She had... Oh, what she wouldn’t give to have one of her animals down here to cuddle into for a minute or two.
But there was only Holden. Which meant she had to rein herself in. Figure things out. Decide what was worth telling and what wasn’t. She had to use her brain. Just because she hadn’t followed in her parents’ footsteps didn’t mean she didn’t know how to figure out a difficult situation.
The facts were facts. And if she arranged them without emotion, she could put together the puzzle enough to make the next step. “My parents could be the targets. They could be the ones this hit man is supposed to kill.”
“They’ve done things worth killing over?” he asked. Blandly enough, but the question had her temper simmering again.
She aimed a haughty look over her shoulder. “Haven’t you?” she returned.
His expression didn’t change much, though she could have sworn the air between them got colder. “This isn’t about me.”
“No, but you’re in the same boat, aren’t you?”
“Am I?”
Temper straining, she started pacing again. “Oh, you’re more obstinate than a goat.”
“I don’t know what to say to that, but you’re not exactly amenable yourself.”
She let out a huffy breath. Of course she wasn’t. Of course she wasn’t. She didn’t owe him amenability.
But she didn’t see a way out of this, a way to help her parents, if she didn’t offer him a glimpse into who they were. They hadn’t responded to her SOS. They could be fighting off their own thing. They could be out of range. They could be oblivious.
She couldn’t reach them. Not if they didn’t want to be reached.
Holden had told her...next to nothing. But he’d wanted to tell her nothing, so she supposed next to was something. It wasn’t just his secret he’d told her. He’d mentioned a group, talked to a woman named Els on the phone. A team was coming to look for their shooter.
“What’s your last name?” she asked.
He paused, considering. Considering if he was going to tell her? Coming up with a fake name? So many things that pause could mean.
“My name is Holden Parker. I can’t tell you the name of the group I work for, but we’re an independent group who only takes on jobs that will help people. Yes, I’ve done things people would want to kill me over. Maybe it’s rationalization, but I like to think that as long as I’ve been with this group, every thing I’ve done wrong has been in the name of right and protecting innocent people.”
He said it all so seriously. So intently, his eyes on hers. He could have been lying, but there was such conviction in his voice, in his gaze.
“What about before you were with this group?” she asked, not sure why her voice came out so hushed.
“My before doesn’t really matter here, Willa.”
Sadly, he was right on that score. She’d wanted to know for herself, and that wasn’t fair. “My parents aren’t all that different. I can’t tell you the group they work for, because I don’t know. Before I was born, they were with the CIA. They tried to quit. They didn’t want to be spies anymore. They wanted a normal life. With me. But it never worked out that way, and after years of jumping around trying to escape the demands of who and what they were, they gave up. They took jobs to do good in the world.” She swallowed. “I didn’t want to be a part of it, so once I was an adult and could convince them to leave me on my own, I did. They take the jobs they want, that they think will do some good. And I have nothing to do with it. Except to be their liability. Because they love me. Because I’m theirs.”
Holden looked around the room they were in. “That’s why you have all this?”
She nodded. “And no friends. It’s why I don’t talk to the post office lady. I have to be alone. Separate. So that no one can use me to get to them.”
She’d always thought it would feel freeing to tell someone the truth. The real truth, but she just wanted to cry. To take it all back. Because now it was up to Holden not to use that information against her.
And once again, she didn’t have any say in the matter.
* * *
SPIES.
But it wasn’t that revelation that left Holden speechless. It was the sheen of tears in Willa’s eyes. It hadn’t been easy for her to tell him all that. She’d probably promised to
always keep it a secret. Especially if her parents were government spies.
But she’d told him.
He shouldn’t feel awed or humbled by that. She’d had no choice. There was a hit man out there. If she hoped to survive, she had to trust someone.
And she really trusted you?
“If you’ve kept this separation, how would anyone know you’re connected to them?” he asked, instead of addressing any of the emotion in the room. Because emotions didn’t matter, couldn’t matter, when lives were at stake.
“There are always ways to find things out, no matter how deep you bury them. This has always been possible.”
“What was the consensus? You’d just be killed for their job?” He didn’t know why anger spurted through him. Why he held such blame and contempt for two people he didn’t know. Who were probably a lot more like him than he’d want to admit.
“It’s easy to blame them, Holden. Believe me. I know. I’ve done it. But what were they supposed to do? See into the future and know they’d never be able to escape one job they took because they wanted to do good in the world?”
Holden didn’t know what to say to that. He wanted to argue, but this wasn’t the topic of importance right now. He had to figure out what they were going to do if the North Star team swept the area and didn’t find the hit man. If Elsie couldn’t get an ID.
Willa would still be in danger if they didn’t take this man down. Holden’s assignment was to take the man down—just as much as it was to keep the target from being killed.
“Something isn’t right,” Willa muttered to herself.
“Gee, you think?”
“No. More than just...someone being after me. Or you. Or...whatever is going on. Something doesn’t add up. I got a message to them.” Her frown deepened, and she twisted her fingers together. “I sent them an SOS, but they haven’t responded. I just can’t stop thinking about the fact that he could have killed me, and he didn’t. Which means he wants me...not dead. Not yet. So, why?”
“Kidnapping.”