by Soraya Lane
Lexi shrugged. “Yeah, she is. Some fucking asshole, excuse my language, brought the place and now I have exactly four weeks to find new specialized care for her.”
“Four weeks seems long enough, wouldn’t you say?”
Lexi choked on her juice that time around and he took it from her, waiting for her to stop coughing and screwing the lid back on for her. He had a feeling he might end up wearing the juice in about half a minute if he didn’t take it from her.
“Four weeks to find specialist care suitable for an Alzheimer’s patient? Are you kidding me?” she laughed. “My mom will have to be moved so far away, I’ll be lucky to see her once a week. And that’s if I can even get her in somewhere. I mean, what kind of company would give notice right before Christmas? With the holiday factored in, I’ll have more like two weeks to find somewhere.”
“Right,” he said, cringing now that he heard how bad it sounded. Making cutthroat decisions from his office wasn’t difficult, but hearing firsthand ramifications of them? It was surprisingly confronting.
“So what happens if you don’t find another place?” he asked.
He watched as Lexi looked down, squeezing her eyes shut as she rocked back on her heels for a moment. When she opened her eyes and looked up at him, he saw they were swimming with tears, and he caught her hand. Cody used his other hand to wipe them away, gently brushing the back of his knuckles to her cheeks.
“These big corporations, they just don’t care. All they see are dollar signs on the land, when their decisions affect real people like my mom,” she said quietly. “I wish I knew who’d bought it, but they’re keeping a very low profile. All we know is that the facility has been sold.”
“Lexi,” Cody said, squeezing her hand and staring down at her. “I’m sorry. I truly am sorry.”
She looked back up at him. “What are you sorry for? It’s not like it’s your fault.”
Lexi squeezed his hand back and stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him tight as her cheek touched his chest. Cody started to stroke her back, thrumming his fingers up and down as he held her. You’re a gutless bastard, he thought as he kissed the top of her head. An absolutely gutless, asshole bastard who doesn’t deserve this.
“Since I’m the worst mom in the world and my son has ended up on a sleepover, what do you say we make the most of our alone time?” she said, standing on tiptoes and kissing feather-light touches against his neck. “Distract me a little more.”
Cody stiffened and rubbed her shoulders before stepping back a little. “Lexi, I need to tell you something.”
She frowned, reaching out for him. “We don’t need to talk, we can just—”
“I’m the asshole.”
Lexi laughed. “What are you talking about?”
He took a deep breath and held up his hands. “You said before that some fucking asshole had—
“Stop,” she said, her voice sounding more like a choke. “Stop,” she ground out, louder the second time. “What the hell…” Her voice trailed off.
But Cody knew what was coming. She was about to explode, the way her fists clenched at her sides, the way her eyes started to widen and her nostrils did the littlest flare as she opened her mouth and started to back up away from him.
“You mean to tell me,” she whispered, her voice so low he could barely hear her, “that you took me out for dinner and slept with me, knowing that you were responsible for turning my life upside down?” She reached for the letter and waved it at him. “That you were responsible for this,” she seethed.
He shook his head, putting some more distance between them as he watched her. “In fairness, I had no idea what this meant for you. I made the deal, sure, but I didn’t take care of any of the finer details, I guess you could say.”
If looks could have killed, Cody knew for sure he’d be dead and buried. “Look me in the eye and tell me, Cody. Did you know my mother was at Bright Lights?” she asked, before screaming at him, her eyes wild. “Did you know, Cody? Answer me, goddamn it!”
Cody nodded. “Yes. Yes I did.”
Her body was trembling and he wanted so badly to go to her, to comfort her and explain that it wasn’t personal, that it had nothing to do with her, but she looked like the thought of him repulsed her, let alone the touch. So he stood still and waited for whatever was coming.
“Lexi, if you’d let me explain,” he started, before she pointed with a straight arm at the door.
“Get out,” she choked, as tears started to drip steadily down her cheeks.
“Lexi, please,” he tried. “I didn’t know when—”
“Get the fuck out of my house!” she screamed, sobbing as stared at him.
“I didn’t know until a day ago that she was there,” he tried to say as she screamed.
“Get out!”
Cody didn’t bother getting the rest of his clothes, he didn’t give a damn about the fact that it was snowing or that all his stuff was upstairs. He looked back at Lexi, wanting to say something but knowing better, and walked straight out into the ice-cold night to run barefoot back to his house.
* * *
Lexi watched him go, unable to stop the steady rain of tears as they battered her cheeks. She waited, willed her legs to keep her upright, until the door shut; and only then did she let them buckle beneath her as slipped into a puddle on the kitchen floor.
This was why she should never have let Cody into her heart again. This was why she was supposed to have fences built around her, around her heart and around her family, to stop anyone like Cody from ever getting close. From ever hurting her like he’d already hurt her before. Why had she thought it was a good idea to get tangled up with him again?
But this was different. This wasn’t a teenager making a bad decision, this was a grown man making a business decision that had the power to devastate so many lives. And just like always, the rich man got his way and to hell with all the poor people he had to stomp on to get there.
The worst thing was, she had no one to turn to. All she had was an amazing, happy, fun little boy whom she had to shield from everything. She shuffled back so she could lean against the cool of the kitchen cabinetry, slowing her breathing as she tried to pull herself together.
Why hadn’t she kept calm and asked him more questions? Maybe she could have changed his mind if she’d only been more rational. Did his family know? Had they been keeping this from her too? They’d seemed so sympathetic to her plight, but maybe it stemmed from guilt?
Lexi dropped her head to her knees as another wave of tears rocked through her body. They were long overdue—the last time she’d cried was when her mother was diagnosed—and once she’d ridden this wave of emotion, she wouldn’t cry again. Not over Cody, not over any man.
She smiled through her tears as she remembered her mom’s words: The only thing crying does, is give you red eyes, darling. The world’s a tough place, and you’ve got to learn to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and kick some butt. At the time she’d always rolled her eyes, wishing her mom would stop saying it, but now she was glad for all the little things she remembered, all the pep talks her mom had given her. And she’d been right: crying didn’t get anyone anywhere. But every now and again, it felt good to let go instead of trying to keep up a brave face.
She slowly rose and wiped her face, trudging upstairs and finding her phone to set her alarm. Part of her was mortified she’d ended up letting Harry stay over without pre-planning it, but there was nothing she could do about it now, and it was the first time in his entire life they’d spent a night apart, so it wasn’t like it was a regular habit. She collapsed onto the bed, wishing the sheets didn’t smell like Cody, and that her mind didn’t keep drifting off into mental images of what they’d done.
It had been so, so good, but it was never, ever happening again.
Chapter 10
LEXI woke up when her alarm started dinging, and she felt in the bed for Harry, who usually migrated into her bed at so
me stage during the night. When she found empty space instead of a warm, delicious little body, she sat bolt upright as memories of the night before trickled through her mind.
She quickly rose, hastily making her bed and going into the bathroom between the two bedrooms. Usually while she was getting ready in the morning, Harry would stumble into the bathroom, yawning and with his hair sticking on end, but today the house was silent and she hated it.
Within minutes she was out of the shower. She dressed, put on a little makeup, and dried her hair. Then she was downstairs to gulp down some breakfast and stare outside at the still-falling snow. It was sticking, but it would take a while for it to become problematic to navigate, which meant she could easily make it on foot or by car over to Tanner’s place to retrieve her son. She knew he’d be awake early, but she wasn’t sure about going over to the house in case she woke Tanner or Lauren up.
Lexi poured herself coffee and tried to drink it slowly, before finally deciding she couldn’t wait any longer. She grabbed her scarf and coat, buttoned up, and pulled on her boots, then stepped out into the frigid air. She stared up for a second, loving the look of the snow flurries as they fell, closing her eyes as snowflakes brushed her cheeks. It wouldn’t have felt like Christmas without a little snow, so the timing was perfect.
A very fast five-minute walk later, Lexi was outside Tanner’s place, about to raise her hand to knock when the door swung open and Harry came charging at her like a miniature bull. His arms locked around her legs and she dropped to hug him, pleased to see he was happy to see her. She’d almost expected him to be having so much fun that he wouldn’t want to leave.
She looked up and found Tanner leaning in the open doorway, his dog appearing at his side, tail wagging as he eyed her up.
“I’m so sorry you ended up having him for the night,” Lexi said, knowing from the heat in her face that her cheeks were turning bright red. She hoped he’d think it was from the cold weather. “I…”
“Where were you, Mom?” Harry complained, his face scrunched up as he stared at her. “I fell asleep on the sofa watching Jurassic World! Tanner has all the best movies!”
“Jurassic World?” she repeated. Oh boy. Someone was going to be having nightmares.
“That was okay, right? He told us he loved dinosaurs and then—”
Lexi smiled at Tanner, not about to tell him that her son might be a touch too young for movies like that after he’d cared for him all night. “Of course it’s okay. I just appreciate you looking after him.”
“I’ll go get my stuff!” Harry announced, running off like a bullet back into the house.
“So I take it you had a good night then?” Tanner asked, eyebrows raised as a grin crossed his face.
Lexi sighed. “I wouldn’t exactly say that. It started out great but it didn’t end so well, and that’s putting it lightly.”
Tanner grimaced. “My brother was a jerk again, wasn’t he? What the hell is wrong with him?”
She saw movement in the living room and wasn’t sure if it was Harry coming back or Lauren about to join them. “Tanner, I need to know if you knew about Cody being the developer tearing down the retirement home where my mom is. He said something and I just, I can’t stop thinking about whether I’ve been the butt of the joke and everyone kept it from me.”
The uncomfortable look on Tanner’s face told her everything she needed to know. “Yeah, I did know. But it’s not like you think.”
She felt tears prick her eyes again but she refused to let them fall, quickly blinking them away instead. “So you knew all this time I’ve been here and never said anything?”
Tanner held up his hands. “No, that’s not true. When he told me yesterday, the first thing I told him to do was tell you.” He grunted. “No, the first thing I told him to do was quit the deal, but he told me if he didn’t do it someone else would. And last night I made him promise to tell you.”
“So when I told you and your family about my mom and what I was going through, you didn’t know then?” she asked, searching Tanner’s face. “Please don’t lie to me.”
Tanner stepped forward and put his hand on her upper arm, his grip warm but firm. “I didn’t know, Lexi, and I’m sure no one else in this family knew either. I’m not in the habit of lying to people I care about, and I’ll never forget what you’ve done for my old man, okay?”
“Hey,” Lauren said, appearing and standing by Tanner, her arms wrapped around herself as the cold blew in at her from outside. “What’s going on here? Everything okay?”
“Lexi’s just found out that my idiot big brother is the asshole responsible for tearing down Bright Lights to make way for luxury high-rise housing,” Tanner said.
“Ah, I see,” Lauren said, frowning. “Hey, do you feel like a girls’ night? You look like you need some loving.” She burst out laughing. “I didn’t mean loving by a man, either. Just some girl time, you know?”
If Tanner hadn’t been standing there watching the exchange, Lexi probably would have thrown her arms around Lauren in a big hug. Instead she tried not to overdo her reaction.
“That’d actually be great,” Lexi replied. “But I don’t want to leave Harry again.”
Lauren waved her hand in the air. “Then let’s make it early evening or even afternoon. You can both come over here and I’ll ask Mia too, and the kids can play while we have a few drinks and chat. What do you say?”
“I say I’m in,” Lexi said, feeling like a weight had fallen from her shoulders just being invited over. She hadn’t realized how lonely she’d been, but the offer from Lauren was making her feel the burden of isolation acutely. Talking and sitting around with a couple of other women was exactly what she needed.
“So do I get to come to girls’ night?” Tanner asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.
Lauren just groaned and winked at Lexi. “Absolutely not. In fact, why don’t you have a boys’ night with your dad and brother?”
Tanner frowned. “I’d rather be with the girls.”
Harry came flying between Tanner and Lauren then, and Lexi quickly caught his hand. “Thanks again for looking after him,” she called over her shoulder as Harry almost yanked her arm from its socket.
“No problem,” Tanner called after her.
“Harry, what do you say?” Lexi scolded.
“Thank you for having me!” he yelled, spinning around as snow fell down on him. He laughed and spun until he crashed to the ground, and Lexi couldn’t help it if some of the magic was rubbing off on her. It was Christmas and it was snowing; she had Harry to make her feel like nothing was more important than being with him; and she had a girls’ night to look forward to.
Cody might have knocked the wind from her sails, but she was still alive and kicking, and she wasn’t going to let him crush the life from her twice. Not if she had anything to do with it.
* * *
“So let me get this straight,” Tanner said, passing Cody a beer and sitting back in the chair across from him. “You thought it was a good idea to take her to bed before telling her? I mean, she already hates you for what you did to her, and you’ve pretty much done the same thing to her all over again.”
Cody groaned as he lifted the beer bottle to his lips, swallowing long and hard. Hearing Tanner say it like that only made it all sound even worse than it was.
“Hey, at least you didn’t jump on a plane and leave her. That’s something,” Sam, Mia’s husband, said from the chair to his side. His horse-whisperer brother-in-law hadn’t been back in town long, with his most recent tour finally ending in time for him to make it home for Christmas.
“Still, you lost her trust again,” Tanner said. “You’re not coming back from this.”
“Great, thanks for the relationship advice,” Cody grunted. He lifted his beer again and took another long sip. At this rate he’d be drunk before dark.
“So what are you going to do about it?” Sam asked. “You like her, or was it just a fun walk down memory lane?”
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Cody could feel his brother staring at him, knew Tanner was probably just as curious about his answer to that question as Sam was. He turned to Sam since he was the one who’d asked.
“You know what, I don’t know,” Cody said, draining his beer and rising to get another for them all, although he’d drunk his a lot faster than the others had theirs. “I think I’d kind of blocked her out, along with almost everything else from back then, but spending time with her again is kind of bringing it all back.”
They sat in silence for a bit, all quietly drinking and staring at the fire roaring in the big library. One of the things Cody liked most about being home in winter was the feeling inside the house. The big open fires were always roaring, combining with central heating to make the house cozy enough to be barefoot and in a T-shirt, the lights on outside illuminating the white of snow falling and settling on the ground. An enormous Christmas tree was propped in the corner, covered with decorations that he imagined Mia hung every year, and there were giant wreaths on all the doors and picture-perfect stockings hanging from the mantle. It was Christmas just as he’d remembered from being a kid, although back then his dad had always cut the tree down, and he imagined that tradition had passed to Tanner now.
Cody stood and crossed the room, reaching out to touch a snow globe. He looked at the little scene, a group of reindeer with a perfect-looking little house, and he tipped it upside down, shaking the snow before putting it back down to watch it drift and settle. But then he stepped back, the sharp reminder of his mom placing it there, laughing as she watched the snow fall, hitting him square on.
Fuck. He hated the memories, had spent so long running from them that he’d never learned how to deal with them. Run again. Get the hell out of here and back on the plane to New York.
“You know, it doesn’t matter whether I do this to Lexi now or not, because it would only take a few months for another investor to do the same,” he said, taking up residence on the leather sofa again as he pushed his thoughts away. He sprawled out, suddenly tired as he reached for his beer again. Leaving wasn’t an option, not yet. “The zoning was changed and it’s a damn good investment for anyone with the cash to inject into it.”