by Soraya Lane
Cody nodded. “And you want this generosity to start after Christmas?” he asked.
Walter sat silently for a moment, before nodding. “Yes. Start it in the New Year. The lawyer can draw it all up when he’s back from vacation.”
“Of course.”
“I’m pleased you came home, son. Christmas wouldn’t have been the same without you.”
They sat in silence, until Cody finally rose, taking both glasses with him to the kitchen. When he returned, he bent and put a hand on his father’s shoulder, standing there, the closest to a hug they’d shared in years. Walter grasped his wrist, holding him back, and Cody felt the unfamiliar prickle of tears in his eyes as he imagined what life would be like without this incredible, strong, inspirational man in it.
It might even be Cody’s last ever Christmas on the ranch, because without Walter here, maybe he’d never come home.
Chapter 15
“I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve,” Lexi said, one arm around her son as they stared at the little tree in the corner of the room.
“Can we have a real tree next year?” Harry asked.
She frowned, staring down at him. “Harry, what’s wrong with this tree?”
He giggled. “It looks like you stole a baby tree from a mama tree, it’s so tiny!”
Lexi laughed with him, pulling him firmly against her waist. “I guess it does look more like a large branch than a real tree. I promise next year we’ll have a bigger one.”
Trouble was, she had no idea where they’d even be living this time next year. She kissed the top of his head and turned him around. “Okay, milk and cookies for Santa, then it’s off to bed with you.”
Harry groaned, but she just kept pushing him forward.
“If you don’t go to sleep you won’t get any presents. Now come on.”
She had so much to do still. The living room and kitchen to tidy up, presents to wrap and put under the tree, and she was dying to watch at least one cheesy Christmas movie on Hallmark before bed.
She played along with Harry and put the things out for Santa, then ushered him up the stairs. He was predictably hard to get into bed, but once his teeth were brushed and a story read, she turned the lamp off and snuggled up beside him.
“Is it still going to be snowing in the morning?” he whispered.
“Yes,” she whispered back, stroking his hair. “It’s going to be one of the coldest Christmases we’ve had in a long time I think.”
“Can we go and give Cleo apples for Christmas?”
Her sweet boy was obsessed with the pony Tanner and Cody had introduced him to. “Of course.”
He snuggled even tighter up beside her and it wasn’t long before his breathing was heavy and she was able to slide out. She tiptoed into her room and reached into the back of the wardrobe to retrieve his gifts, smiling down at the toy tractor and farm she’d bought him, as well as the latest Nerf gun with glow-in-the-dark bullets. She went downstairs, gave the kitchen a quick wipe down, and then settled in to watch television while she wrapped her presents. Lexi glanced at the empty spot beside her, feeling the familiar numbness of being alone. When Harry was awake, she never felt it, but when he was in bed and everything was silent, she was painfully aware of just how alone she was.
When her short-lived marriage had ended, it had almost been a relief. He’d been the wrong guy at the right time, and although she’d thought she’d loved Harry’s dad, she could see now that it hadn’t been the kind of love she deserved. And as soon as Harry came along to complicate things, he was gone, too immature to deal with the sleep deprivation and energy required to raise a tiny human. The only thing she wished was that he’d make his child support payments, because the extra money sure would have come in handy when her mom had gone into care.
She placed the presents under the tree and snuggled beneath a blanket, smiling as the beautiful blonde on the screen spun around with her skirt flaring out around her in the town square. It was just the type of movie she needed.
* * *
Lexi woke with a fright and looked around, wondering how long she’d been asleep. The TV was still going, but it was no longer the movie she’d been watching. She’d been so tired she must have crashed the second she snuggled down. She stood up and turned the television and the lamp off, before using her phone as a light to walk upstairs. She went to the toilet, then brushed her teeth, before creeping into Harry’s room to make sure he was still tucked in warmly under the covers.
She froze. What the hell? She slowly pulled the covers back, expecting him to have wriggled down low, but he wasn’t there. She flicked the bedside lamp on, and scanned the little room, but there was no sign of him.
“Harry?” she said, hurrying out and realizing that he must have padded into her room to climb into her bed. But there was no little body in her bed either. Panic started to rise within her, heart thudding, pain stabbing in her chest as she systematically turned all the lights on.
Lexi took a deep breath and dashed into the bathroom, but there was no sign of him. She ran down the stairs, still flicking lights on, wondering if he’d been trying to catch Santa in action. Surely that was it. He must be downstairs, maybe he’d crept down when she’d been in the bathroom brushing her teeth. He’d be hiding behind the sofa, ready to pounce when he saw the big guy dressed in red.
He wasn’t there. The place was small, so there was nowhere he could be hiding, nowhere he could be, without her finding him.
“Harry!” she called out. “Harry!”
He wasn’t the type of kid who hid. He wasn’t the type of kid to play games like this. It had been the two of them for too long.
“Harry!” She screamed this time, before turning and seeing that his coat was gone. The coat that was always hanging right beside hers. It was gone. And so were his boots.
Her baby was gone!
Lexi kicked into action then, grabbing her coat as she stuffed her feet into her boots and yanked open the door. Tears pressed against her eyes as a shock of wind and snow blasted her. No. No, no, no! Her little boy could not be out in this weather, in the dark, on his own!
“Harry!” she screamed, but her voice was lost on the wind. “Harry!”
She ran through the snow as fast as she could to the main house, about to start banging on the door before realizing it was probably open. She ran inside, not taking her boots off as she bolted down the hall, past Walter’s library and up the stairs.
“Cody!” she called, too frantic to care who she woke. “Cody!”
Lexi pushed open the door to his old room and ran toward the bed, grabbing hold of Cody’s broad shoulders, his skin warm beneath her icy fingers.
“Cody, wake up!”
He turned, sitting bolt upright when he saw her.
“Geez, Lexi, what the hell is going on?”
“It’s Harry. He’s gone. He’s—”
“Whoa, slow down.” He rubbed at his eyes and pushed the covers back, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “Where’s he gone? What’s happened?”
“I went to check him, I went to tuck him in, and he was gone. His coat, his boots, he’s out in this weather, in the dark somewhere.”
She could hear her teeth chattering, knew she sounded half demented as she told Cody what had happened.
“Stay here,” he ordered, rising and pulling on jeans and a shirt.
“No, I’m going to look for him. I can’t even think about him out there.”
He turned and stared at her; even in the half light she could see the intense stare he was giving her. Or maybe she could just imagine it.
“I’m going to go get Tanner. Then we’re going to find your son, okay?”
She nodded, letting Cody take her hand and pull her close. He dropped a quick kiss into her hair, holding her hand tight, before marching out the door and running down the stairs so fast she could barely keep up.
“What’s going on?” Walter called out from his library.
“It’s Lexi’s son,” Cody calle
d back as tears spilled frantically down Lexi’s cheeks just hearing the reality of what was going on. “I’m taking the radio, you call me if he turns up, okay?”
“Thank you, Cody,” she stuttered from behind him.
He disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a two-way radio hooked onto his belt. “Thank me when I find him,” he said through gritted teeth, and then he was marching out into the snow with her trailing behind.
She called over and over again as Cody alerted Tanner and Lauren, and she knew that within minutes Tanner would be out searching, too. If anyone was going to find her son, it would be the Ford brothers. They knew the land, they’d been little boys here themselves, and she would trust both of them with her life.
“He say anything? Before he went to bed? Was he upset?” Cody shouted over the wind.
As snow fell on her face, Lexi shut her eyes and thought back. “Yes,” she said, eyes popping open as his words came back to her. “He asked about the weather, and then he asked about taking apples to the pony in the morning.”
“The pony? You mean Cleo?”
Tanner appeared, his face grim. “We need to find him fast.”
“I’m going down to the horses,” Cody called out. “I have a gut feeling he’s gone down there.”
“I’ll search closer to home,” Tanner said.
Lauren was there too, running through the snow, her eyes wide. “Any sign?” she asked.
Lexi shook her head, biting down hard on her lip. “No.”
They held hands as Cody disappeared and Tanner started to run through the snow, shouting out Harry’s name.
“Honey, they’ll find him. If anyone’s going to find him…”
Lauren’s words trailed off, but Lexi knew she was right. But it didn’t stop her mind from racing off and wondering if she was ever going to see her boy again.
“Let’s search the house, just in case he went in there,” Lauren said.
Lexi nodded, numbly following her. At least it gave them something to do other than worry.
* * *
Cody trudged through the snow until he reached the quad. He’d considered going on foot, so he could call out to him, but he had more than a hunch that the boy was down with the horses. If he’d made it that far.
He turned the key and made his way slowly through the snow, the lights fighting a losing battle against the pitch-black night and heavily falling snow.
Where are you, Harry? He refused to think about what could have happened, not until he’d made his way down and checked the barn and small field where they’d turned the pony out.
Once he was there, he leapt off, leaving the lights on for the little help they gave and running into the barn. He fumbled and flicked the lights on, illuminating the entire barn and the exterior as well.
“Harry!” he called. “Harry!”
He cupped his hands around his mouth as he moved back outside.
“Harry!” he yelled.
Nothing.
He stared around him, wondering if he’d been wrong, if his instincts were off. He’d been so sure, but now that he was down here he was starting to feel less optimistic.
“Harry!” he yelled again as he let himself into the small field and scanned for the pony. Within seconds little Cleo was coming toward him, snorting and blowing her icy breath onto his gloved hand when he extended it.
He searched the field with the pony following close behind, and it wasn’t until he turned around that he heard a noise. What the hell was that? He was sure he’d heard a banging sound.
He jogged back through the snow, into the barn again. Cody listened, waiting, but there was nothing.
“Harry!”
This time when he heard movement he bolted through the barn, and then he saw a lump of blue.
“Harry!” he yelled as he sprinted and dropped down beside him, the little boy in his blue Spider-Man pajamas huddled up beside the hay, arms wrapped around himself, coat unzipped as he huddled to keep warm. Cody scooped him up and held him tight, hearing his teeth chatter against the cold.
“Harry, buddy, you gave us one hell of a fright,” he whispered, heart pounding as he cuddled him even tighter to try to warm him. He’d never been so damn pleased to see someone in his life. “You okay?”
“Cleo,” he mumbled. “She’s c-c-c-old. I wanted to give her a-a-a-apples and…”
His head fell against Cody’s chest, arms looping around his neck, and Cody took him back into the hay.
“You need me to bring her in for the night?” he asked. “You want to know that she’s warm?”
The little boy nodded as he shook. “Y-Y-Yes,” he chattered.
Cody grabbed a horse blanket down from where it was hanging on the wall, tucking it around Harry. “I’ll bring her in. Then I’m getting you home.”
He bolted outside, not even bothering to get a head collar and grabbing hold of Cleo by her cover and tugging her along beside him. If the boy needed to see the pony warm and dry, then he’d do it. And tomorrow he’d tell him just how well horses dealt with all kinds of weather, especially if they had rugs on to keep the wind chill off them.
“Your lucky night,” he muttered, leading her through the barn and into one of the stalls. Cody quickly filled the hay up and ran to cart a bucket of water, conscious of the cold little boy waiting for him. Then he ran back and scooped him up again, horse blanket and all.
“Come on, let’s go.”
Harry shook his head and Cody stopped, knowing instinctively that the boy needed to see the pony. She leaned over and snuffled, and Cody moved closer so Harry could feel Cleo’s breath against his face, remembering the desperation to be close to a horse, how much he used to love it too. Tears pricked his eyes as he held Harry and watched the smile, despite the cold, as her whiskers tickled his face. The poor kid had been so worried about the pony being cold, he’d made it all this way on his own.
“Come on, your mom’s so worried about you,” he said softly, hefting him up a little higher and reaching for the radio, realizing he hadn’t alerted anyone that he’d found him. “Let’s get you home.”
He stopped at the door, about to turn the lights off, but felt Harry shake his head against him.
“You want her to have the lights on, huh?” he asked, trying not to laugh. He flicked the main lights off and left one on in the entrance. No wonder so many of his friends declared that parenting was one of the hardest jobs they’d ever had. The kid was as stubborn as a mule. “She won’t want them all blaring, but she can have a night light.”
He turned the radio on before they stepped out into the cold.
“Anyone there?” he asked.
“Here, son,” his father answered, the line crackling but clear enough to hear his words.
“I have Harry. On my way home now, over.”
There was a delay before it crackled to life again.
“Take it slow. Over and out.”
Cody clipped the radio back on his belt and carried Harry to the bike, putting him up front and tucking the horse blanket around him before scooping himself in tight behind him and slowly driving him back to the house.
Thank God for small miracles. If the boy had been out any longer on his own, if he hadn’t been in the barn … he clenched his jaw and pushed the thoughts away. Harry could have died in the dark, out in the snow, he knew it and Lexi would know it, but he was alive, and that’s all that mattered.
Between him and Tanner, they would have searched all night if they’d had to—his brother was as determined as he was.
“You okay?” he asked, speaking into Harry’s ear so he could be heard above the motor.
The boy wiggled even closer back into him, and he sped up a little, wanting to get him back in his mama’s arms and tucked up in bed. It was going to be a Christmas Eve the kid would never forget, and one Cody’d never damn well forget either.
Chapter 16
“HOW am I ever going to thank you enough?” Lexi whispered as they sat in front of t
he blazing fire. Harry was nestled in her arms asleep, far too big for her to hold, let alone carry, but Lexi hadn’t let him go.
“You don’t have to thank me,” Cody said. “But you can let me carry him upstairs to bed.”
She glanced at him, her eyes bright even in the dim light. They had lamps going and the fire was bright, the logs licked with flames as they burned, casting a light across to where they were sitting. A wave of longing came over him, wanting to hold her against him, to whisper to her that her son was okay, that he’d never, ever let anything happen to them.
“I should take him back. It’s Christmas Eve and he’ll expect to wake up in his own bed.”
Cody frowned. “You want to take him out into that snow? Not a chance I’m letting you do that.”
Lexi looked like she was torn between what decision to make. “I—”
“Let me carry him upstairs. You can stay with him and I’ll go back to your place and get his presents.”
She smiled, the first smile he’d seen that night, and the color was slowly coming back into her cheeks, too. “Could you also get the note he wrote Santa, and the milk and cookies?”
Cody chuckled. “Glad to. But you know we do have all that stuff here.”
“I know,” she said, her eyes back on her sleeping boy. “But he chose the plate and glass, and I want everything to be perfect for him. He’ll notice if it’s different.”
Cody nodded. “Of course.” He stood up and stretched before bending to scoop Harry from Lexi’s arms. His fingers brushed her skin and he looked down at her, that familiar feeling of longing surging through him again. He had a sudden desire to protect her, to look after her. And he sure as hell had a desire to love her too.
Harry was light and he carried him up the stairs and into a guest bedroom. The entire house was warm, but Lexi tucked him in tight, the covers snuggled up to his chin as if he were still out in the snow. Cody stood at the door for a moment, watching the way she touched him, the way she looked at him. He was a special little boy with a damn special mother, and for the first time in his life, he felt the pang of loss. For what he’d never have. He was never going to hurt again, and that meant never letting himself love. And as far as he could tell, parenting was as much about worry and pain as it was about love.