Adi nods and looks past her mom at Oma-Adi who smiles at her. Adi thinks her grandmother doesn’t even realize that she’s shaking her head sadly while smiling.
The doctor is funny. Adi likes him. He smiles a lot and has toys in his office. He talks to her like he takes her seriously and she gets to read Micky Mouse while he meets with her parents. Everything is bright in the waiting-room, white-painted wooden chairs with metal legs, pastel curtains and buttercup-yellow walls. Adi is bored after a while and builds a castle out of blocks, even though she’s a little old for that. Finally she’s called into his office.
Dr. Neubauer has a big desk in his office but he asks Adi to sit with him at a small circular table. He explains that her parents are a little worried about her. Since Oma-Adi mentioned the animals to mom, Adi thinks that it’s okay to talk to the Doctor. He seems nice and she hopes she can trust him.
She tells him about Thomas and Oma-Adi’s wolf and all the animals she sees. Dr. Neubauer writes down everything she says and some more. Finally he asks, “Do I have an animal?” Adi looks closely.
“Yes,” she nods. “Can you turn around please? It’s kinda small.” Dr. Neubauer stands up and turns around. Adi claps her hands. “It’s so cute! It’s a little green frog with beautiful red markings and yellow eyes!” Just then, the reptile jumps and lands on the table.
Adi holds out her hand and tries to coax the frog onto her palm. It flicks out its tongue and Adi pulls her hand back just in time. She giggles. When she looks back at the doctor, his eyes have widened as he observed the interaction. Then he smiles at her. “Wow, you really saw the frog, didn’t you?”
Adi nods. “So you saw it too, right? I’m not crazy?” she asks. Dr. Neubauer clears his throat. “I’m afraid I didn’t. And who told you you were crazy?,” he continues a little sharply.
Adi’s face heats up again. “Nobody,” she says quietly. “I just heard mom and Oma-Adi talk, and mom said something about mental illness. That means I’m crazy, right?”
Dr. Neubauer says gently, “Adi, sometimes when children overhear adults talk, they misunderstand. Your mother is worried because she can’t see what you see. That does not mean you’re crazy. We just have to work a little bit on making sure that you learn to understand the difference between day-dreaming and reality. Would you like to do that with me?” And he smiles so kindly at her that Adi nods and smiles back.
Her mom and dad take her out for ice-cream later and Adi doesn’t mention once that mom’s white mouse sticks her nose into her spaghetti ice. Even though it looks really funny when the whiskers are stuck together with vanilla and cream.
Dr. Neubauer keeps his promise and Adi works hard on telling reality from daydreams. He listens attentively to her stories and then points out to her how unlikely it is that wild animals could walk next to a child in Frankfurt without general panic.
Or that every child is allowed to bring their favorite pet into school without the teachers throwing a fit. That thought makes Adi giggle. She can imagine Miss Ruth jump on top of a chair after Ingo’s rat scuttles in front of her feet. Adi wouldn’t be scared but Miss Ruth is a little squeamish with vermin as she calls them. She said that once in biology.
So when Adi sees an animal with a person, she thinks very hard if this is likely. A dog on a leash in a park is real. A baby elephant in the grocery store isn’t. After a while, the animals begin to disappear. Adi doesn’t even notice at first until Dr. Neubauer points out that she hasn’t mentioned seeing predators for a while. Adi thinks about it and it’s true. There have been no lions or tigers in class for a few weeks. Dr. Neubauer is very pleased and tells her parents that she’s making great progress.
On the way home, Adi stops. What about Oma-Adi’s wolf? Will she disappear as well? She hasn’t seen her grandmother since she started visiting the doctor. She knows her mom is still a little upset with her mother but Adi misses her.
Today Adi is excited. Oma-Adi is back from hospital. When her mom told her that she’d been sick, Adi was worried. “Is it serious?” Her mom had given her a tight hug. “Don’t worry, Oma-Adi is fine, she just hasn’t been feeling too well. A few days rest in bed did her good. You’ll see,” she whispered into Adi’s hair. Adi breathed a big sigh of relief. She is only little but she knows that sometimes people go to hospital and don’t come out again.
She has picked a Barbie-DVD, cleaned up her room and helped mom set the table for afternoon coffee. Mom has even made a biscuit cake with canned fruit on top. Oma-Adi’s cakes are better but she wouldn’t say that to her mom. Her mom didn’t really bake the cake, just assembled a store-bought biscuit bottom, a can of peaches and whipped cream from a can, but it tastes great anyway. The smell of freshly-made coffee fills the apartment. Funny how something that tastes so gross can smell so good. When the doorbell rings, Adi jumps up and rushes to the front door.
Oma-Adi opens her arms wide and hugs Adi tightly. She smells of lavender and a little bit of stale clothes. Adi doesn’t mind. She holds on and nearly cries with relief. Her grandmother kisses her on her ear. It tickles so Adi giggles and jumps back. She looks left, then right, then frowns.
“What are you looking for?” Oma-Adi asks with an amused smile.
“Where’s your wolf?” Adi walks around her grandmother to check behind her, then opens the front door and checks the hallway as well. When she comes back, Oma-Adi’s smile is gone.
“You can’t see her?” she asks quietly so Adi’s mom can’t hear them. Adi shakes her head. Then she remembers.
“Of course I can’t. I forgot, Dr. Neubauer told me that wild animals don’t just walk around with people. Unless they’re on a leash or something.” She stops talking because Oma-Adi looks at her with a really sad expression in her face.
“So the sessions are helping you?”
“Yes, they are,” Adi’s mom interrupts Adi who is about to say that she liked seeing people’s animals. “In fact, Adi is learning to tell the difference between day-dreaming and reality,” and she fondly ruffles Adi’s hair. Oma-Adi says nothing but continues to look at Adi strangely.
When Adi is in bed later on, wearing new pajamas and with teeth all minty and clean, her grandmother says, “I’ve got a present for you, child.” Adi smiles and opens her hand. Oma-Adi presses something hard and cold into it. It’s a necklace with a beautiful metal pendant. A wolf’s head with writing on the back. Adi squints at the small letter and reads, ‘Sei der Wolf’.
When she looks up questioningly, her grandmother explains, “That means ‘Be the Wolf’”. She hesitates for a moment as if gathering her thought. “The wolf is often an evil animal in fairytales, right?” When Adi nods, she continues, “in the stories, the wolf is true to his nature and often hurt badly because of it. In the wild, wolves are great predators that hunt together and are on top of the food chain. I want you to remember this when life gets hard. Be true to yourself and you’ll come out on top.” She strokes Adi’s hair and sits by her bedside until she’s asleep.
When Oma-Adi dies a week later, it comes as a shock to all of them. Adi feels so guilty. She should have known that not seeing the wolf was a sign. If only she had warned her grandmother, maybe she could have gone back to hospital and the doctors would have made her better.
She doesn’t tell Dr. Neubauer because he would try to convince her that the wolf was never real in the first place. Then it hits her like a slap in the face. Maybe the doctor was wrong. Maybe the animals stopped showing themselves to her because she stopped believing! Maybe it wasn’t her fault that Oma-Adi died, maybe it was Dr. Neubauer’s!
From then on, Adi goes to her therapy sessions, smiles and tells him what he expects to hear. She gets good at saying the things that make her parents smile and her therapist nod approvingly. During the sessions she clutches the wolf’s head in her pocket and thinks fiercely, Be the Wolf. Be the Wolf. She doesn’t see the animals again for many many years but remembering Oma-Adi’s lessons gives her strength.
Strength when he
r parents die, first her mom, then her dad. Strength when she’s dragged from Germany to Chicago and she has to start all over again. Strength when she finds that her dad’s family hates her and wishes her gone. Throughout all, she clutches the wolf’s head and nurtures her hidden spark until it’s time to burst out when she least expects it.
THE END
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SPIRIT CHILD - PREQUEL: THE SPIRIT WALKER SERIES
by Ella J. Smyth
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
To my beautiful kids Aisling and Fionn
Also by Ella J. Smyth
In the Spirit Walker Series
Spirit Quest, Prequel to Spirit Hunger
Honi is a normal Mekui'te teenager. After suffering through a terrifying nightmare, he stumbles onto a gift he never asked for. When the shaman fears for Honi's sanity, his family send him on a life-threatening spirit quest. Will the young man survive the ancient trial? Or will his destiny be cut short through the deadly dangers in the wilderness?
Spirit Hunger
Adi is an ordinary student with an extraordinary talent. All around her, she sees strange animals attached to people. When her visions turn into terrifying nightmares, Adi fears for her sanity.
Honi is a young Mekui’te Indian studying law to help his people. He has long ago come to terms with his gift. When he meets Adi, he’s drawn to her against his will. But when he witnesses the damage her visions cause, he knows that without his help, she will die.
Can the two head-strong individuals stop fighting long enough to save each other?
Spirit Elfen
Adi has moved to Germany to finish her degree. After her near-death experience, she craves peace and quiet in beautiful Heidelberg. When she makes friends with a gorgeous student, she doesn't realise that she's about to become trapped in a nightmare.
Her boyfriend Honi can't wait to kiss Adi after six months apart. When he arrives at Heidelberg University, he finds her to be his perfect partner. Studious, sexy, submissive. There's only one problem: this isn't Adi.
While Honi is trying to find the truth, Adi is fighting for her life. Can Honi find her in time or will they both be trapped in a nightmare forever after?
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About the Author
Ella J. Smyth is an author living in Germany. She makes her online home at www.ellajsmyth.com. You can connect with her on Twitter at @ellajsmyth, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ellajsmyth, on Instagram at www.instagram.com/ellajsmyth and you should send her an email at [email protected] if the mood strikes you.
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Spirit Child Page 2