by Ella Craig
‘I see we both go to the same tailor. Where did you buy yours?’
‘Booty Queues.’ At first, Kath was relieved the dress looked good on the pair of them then anger took over. The shop, stupid name notwithstanding, specialised in one-offs and exclusives. This frock cost a fortune.
‘Mine came from there as well, a birthday present from my husband. He said it would turn me into a sex bomb waiting to go off!’
‘Jackie, lippy, please?’ Red Lips was back. ‘Christ, I must be pissed, I’m seeing double.’
‘Here you go.’ Jackie handed her a lipstick. ‘I’m Jackie by the way.’ She added unnecessarily.
‘I’m Kath.’ Somewhere in her head alarm bells rang; favourite dresses and sex bombs. ‘Is your husband called Tony Buffery?’
‘Why yes, do you know him?’ Jackie sounded suspicious.
(I should say so; I lost my virginity to him.) ‘I met him at work, Ritzons, the paint factory out at Plympton.’
‘Tony did do some temporary work for them over the summer. Are you sure you know him?’ Jackie narrowed her eyes.
‘Yes, stocky man, receding on top.’ Kath couldn’t resist the temptation to talk about him. ‘We had trouble with vandalism and needed more security guards. They came to our work's summer ball. Guess what dress I wore?’
‘You are kidding? What a coincidence! He never said he’d seen it on someone else or he went to a party without me. I shall have words with him later.’ Jackie’s good humour sounded a little strained.
‘Is he here tonight?’ A perverse and masochistic desire made Kath stay. Jackie was nothing like she imagined, this confident woman bore no resemblance to the frumpy nag Tony described.
‘No, he’s working, at least that is what he told me. He’s more likely trying to get into some girl’s knickers. Sorry, love, I didn’t mean to shock you. Your face is a picture, but wait until you’ve been married as long as my Tony and me. You’ll be talking like this; you have too else you’ll go mad.’ Jackie let out a bittersweet laugh. ‘Listen to me; I’m going on and on.’
‘Do you really think your husband is messing around?’
Ice, thin, skating; the three words danced around Kath’s head.
‘Yes, silly sod’s at an age where he needs to prove his manhood or something. A friend of ours recently got married for the second time, to something young enough to be his daughter!’ The disgust in Jackie’s voice was palpable.
‘How long have you been married?’
‘Twelve years. I’d have got less for murder!’
‘And got parole as well.’ Jackie’s friend with the red mouth joined them.
‘There were times when I nearly took it, Sal.’ Both women giggled. Without knowing why Kath laughed as well.
Jackie wiped tears and mascara from under her eyes. ‘Bride or groom’s side?’
‘What? Oh, bride, Claire’s my cousin. And you?’
‘Groom, I work in the same office as Paul. This is Sal, by the way, my date for the evening.’ Sal gave Kath an alcoholic grin.
‘Come on, let’s have a drink,’ said Jackie. Kath followed them to the bar, unable to tear herself away, anxious to discover more. She suspected she and Jackie had more in common than their infatuation for Tony.
They did.
Tony had an eye for the ladies and every few years or so he had what Jackie called an adventure.
‘How do you know?’ said Kath.
‘Easy, how do you think I met him in the first place? Tony left his first wife for me. I’m the second Mrs Buffery.’
‘The second?’
‘Yes, and there will be no third. His first wife was a fool. Fiona didn’t know how to handle a man who plays around.’
‘How do you handle a man like that?’ Kath realised she could learn a lot from Tony’s second wife, particularly more about his first one.
‘Easy. Threaten to take the kids away from him because Tony lives for his children. It killed him to leave Fiona, but the stupid woman was soft and let him have access to their kids. Tony knows how far he can push me but if he goes too far...’ Jackie’s face was grim, with hard lines bracketing her mouth.
Kath was incredulous. The secretive bastard had children from his previous marriage. Her respect for Jackie soared as her own self-respect plummeted. What an idiot falling for the oldest line in the book, my wife doesn’t understand me. Oh yes, she does, Tony my darling, she understands you too well. I was the one who didn’t understand.
‘Here’s my three with their dad.’ Jackie dug a battered photograph out of her bag.
The picture showed Tony sitting on the bonnet of his car with a girl on either side, their arms wrapped around him. Perched on the bumper, between Tony’s knees, sat a gap-toothed boy. The children were olive skinned with fair, shining hair. It was a handsome photo of handsome people. Kath’s eyes lingered on Tony. He looked younger and more at ease than the man, she thought she knew.
‘Is this a recent shot?’ she asked politely. Her head spun, and any minute now, it would fly off her shoulders.
‘I took it this summer.’ Jackie pointed to the older girl. ‘Danielle is nine, and Katrina will be six soon and there’s Patrick, he’s eleven.’
Kath’s stomach churned as if she had swallowed acid. Tony’s son was the same age as her own brother. It was an obscene thought. Her whole relationship with Tony was taking on incestuous overtones.
Jackie produced more photographs. ‘These are Tony’s children from his first marriage.’
A young man and woman stared solemnly at the camera, dressed as if for a funeral.
‘Debbie and Martin, we took this last Easter at their grandfather’s funeral. Odd time to take a photo, but Debbie lives in America now. So we don’t see her often.’
‘Do you have much to do with Tony’s ex-wife?’
‘We put up with each other for the sake of Tony’s other children. They were leery of me at first, but we get on alright, especially now I’m a step-granny.’
‘A what?’ Kath squeaked in disbelief and then recovered with a forced laugh. ‘You can’t be old enough.’
Jackie smiled and handed her another photo of the same young woman, this time she cradled a newborn baby. ‘This is Mollie; she was born in August, on the tenth.’
There was a roaring in Kath’s ears, but frantic swallowing stopped her from throwing up. Tony had a grandchild, as well as a daughter and son much the same age as her. Kath felt dirty and used. She resisted an urge to confess herself to this woman, Tony’s second wife. Purge herself of her guilt and shame. Why had Jackie told her this? Did she suspect something? Kath panicked for a moment. No, a woman with Jackie’s strength would not play mind games. She didn’t need to because Kath finally understood that Tony would never leave his children.
‘You say Debbie lives in America.’ Kath kept talking because it stopped her from thinking.
‘New York. We’re going over for Christmas. Staying for three lovely long weeks, and we can’t wait.’
‘You are a lucky cow,’ Sal came out of her drunken stupor. ‘Wish I had a husband like yours. Mine wouldn’t work his nuts off to take me anywhere.’
‘We’ve been planning this trip ever since Mollie was born. I suggested it because I sensed Tony was up for another of his adventures, but I nipped it in the bud this time.’
Kath surprised herself by not screaming or fainting. She stayed calm and somehow continued her conversation with Jackie. Sal added a comment or two whenever her mind passed through the present.
‘I’ve been rambling on to you for ages,’ said Jackie. ‘Anyway, we’re off now down to Blondes for their grab-a-granny night.’
‘Footloose and fancy-free,’ slurred Sal.
‘Too right,’ agreed Jackie, ‘no husbands in the way and the kids farmed out to their grandparents. Hey, do you want to come along with us?’
‘No thanks,’ said Kath, although a suicidal urge willed her to say yes. ‘My mother would kill me if I left before the end, but I enjoyed
talking with you.’
After they left, Kath ran to the toilets where she threw up until her stomach was empty. She doused her face with cold water from the washbasin. Why had Tony not told her the whole truth? Maybe he thought being a grandfather would repulse her. He was right, it did. And, what about Jackie? Under different circumstances, they could have been friends. They were similar in some ways; they had the same taste in men for starters. Kath scooped up more water and drenched the front of her dress.
‘Kathy, what’s wrong?’ A soft hand patted her back, and she gazed up into the face of Claire. Too much champagne had given her a rosy hue and glazed eyes, but she still glowed. ‘I saw you rush in, I thought you were going to be sick or something, you do look awful.’
‘Sorry,’ said Kath. ‘It’s hot out there, and it got to be a bit too much. Lovely wedding though.’
‘Isn’t it? I’m so glad you came. I thought after you split up with Darren you wouldn’t feel like coming out. It is difficult to be happy for others when you are down and unloved.’
What a night of surprises, discovering Tony collected wives the way other men collected stamps, and fluffy Claire had a deep and philosophical side. This was making it hard for her to concentrate. Had someone slipped something into her drink? That explained everything, she was tripping and hadn’t met Tony’s second wife. Instead, she was having a chat with Claire on the merits of blue eyeshadow. Kath began to cry.
‘You poor thing,’ Claire gave her a hug. ‘Go on, let it out of your system. Try to forget him.’
‘I can’t,’ wailed Kath. ‘I love him too much.’
‘If you loved him, why did you let him go?’
‘I didn’t, he went and afterwards I discovered he lied to me,’ anger overtook Kath. ‘He never told me he was married before.’ She started bawling again.
‘Aunty Angela said he was an odd one.’
Kath stopped sobbing. ‘Who’s odd?’
‘Darren, your mum said he made her uncomfortable sometimes like he was on the verge of breaking out.’
‘Darren?’
‘He is your ex-boyfriend, isn’t he?’
‘Of course.’ How did her mother see the things Kath missed? Darren did have a nasty temper.
‘Did you sleep with him?’
‘No!’ Kath never realised her cousin was sex mad.
‘At least you have your self-respect. Imagine if you had given yourself to him for nothing.’
‘You’re a fine one to talk.’ Kath stared at Claire’s belly.
‘I am going to my husband as a bride should,’ Claire said with dignity.
‘Are you saying you never had sex? Not even with Paul?’
‘I am a virgin,’ said Claire, ‘and I intended to stay that way until I married.’
‘You’re not pregnant?’
‘Hardly.’
‘Then why are you in such a hurry to get married?’
‘Paul and I have been together a year, so we are not hurrying into anything. We are ready to make a commitment to each other, and to move on to a physical relationship.’
‘You mean, you’re both virgins?’
‘Yes,’ said Claire, simply.
There was nothing else to say. They dried Kath’s dress as best as they could and returned to the party.
‘Claire, Kathy, over here!’ Angela beckoned them on to the dance floor. ‘You are just in time. Claire, you go there, Kathy you sit next to her, and I’ll start the next row. Come along, ladies, into position.’
Kath cursed under her breath at her bad timing. If only they had stayed in the loo for longer. The floor filled with women sitting in rows and at a signal from Angela; the DJ put on Oops Upside Your Head. For the next three and a half minutes, Kath sat on the floor rowing with a fixed grin on her face. The grin turned into a grimace when she danced The Twist with Claire and disappeared completely when Agadoo started. With gritted teeth, she made it through The Bump with Linda, YMCA with George and Tiger Feet with her father. When The Conga came on, Kath made sure she was at the end of the chain and escaped as the line of revellers passed the bar.
She ordered a bottle of wine, found a dark corner, and drank as the party did The Hustle, Knee’s Up Mother Brown, and The Hokey-Cokey. By the time Come on Eileen started, she was well in her cups and seething with anger. Kath had an urge to lash out and hurt someone, a certain someone who systematically lied to her and used her. She slipped out to find the nearest phone box.
cry me a river
‘You bastard!’
‘Hello, who is this?’ Tony sounded as if he’d been asleep.
‘It’s your bit on the side.’
‘Kathy! Do you realise what the time is?’
‘Yes.’
‘So, why are you ringing me at home, again?’
‘Questions always questions with you, but never any sodding answers.’
‘Kathy, are you drunk?’
‘As a Lord.’
‘Where are you?’ he asked. ‘Are you in your flat?’
‘What is this, twenty bloody questions? Two can play this game, how is Mollie?’
Tony gave a sharp intake of breath but said nothing.
‘Little Millie Mollie Mandy, and her mummy, Debbie, and how did you forget Martin or good old Fiona? Did they slip your mind because you never mentioned them? But how kind of Jackie to fill me in on the gaps in your memory.’
‘Jackie!’
‘I met her tonight, and we had such a lovely chat.’
‘What did you say to my wife?’
‘Do you mean the first or the second Mrs Buffery? Once upon a time, I wanted to be the second Mrs Buffery.’
‘What did you talk about?’ His rising anger made his voice unrecognisable.
‘Ooh, a bit of this and a bit of that, girl’s stuff and none of your bloody business!’
‘Where are you? We need to talk. Tell me where you are, and I’ll come and pick you up. Please, Kathy, I am begging you.’
He arrived in less than ten minutes and must have broken every speed limit to do so. Kath was impressed; just goes to show what a man in fear of his wife will do.
He flung open the passenger door. ‘Get in, and I’ll take you home. We can talk there.’
‘No, we can talk here.’
She kicked the door shut and sat on the wall next to the phone box. If they went to her flat, they would end up in bed together. This needed handling without the pleasures of the flesh interrupting her, tempting though they were. Nothing like red-hot rage to make you horny, but tonight she was in ice-cold Sunday Girl mode. ‘I’m not getting in the car either.’
‘For fuck’s sake!’ Tony climbed out of the car, slammed the door and sat beside her on the wall. He started to say something but stopped and leaned forward. ‘Jesus Christ, look at that.’ He pointed at the dent her foot had left in the door. Kath smiled at the thought of him explaining that to Jackie. Tony, misunderstanding her smile, placed a tentative hand on her knee.
‘You are sitting too close.’
He withdrew his hand. They sat in silence, and Kath waited for him to begin.
‘Where did you see Jackie?’
‘What do you think of my frock?’ She would not make this easy. She wanted to see him squirm and to hear him beg, her revenge for the way he treated her. ‘I am a sex bomb in this, ready to go boom.’
‘What game are you playing?’ he rubbed his hands over his eyes.
‘The same game you played with me and your wife.’ Kath glowered at him and then smiled. ‘I met my doppelgänger this evening.’
‘You saw Jackie wearing the same dress tonight?’
‘Nice dress and a nice lady. Not how I imagined her, she’s so strong and confident. Friendly, as well. I liked her, and I think she liked me, but strange us both going to the same party in the same outfit.’
‘Did you tell her about us?’
‘Don’t worry, Tony. I didn’t give away our dirty secret, and it is a dirty little secret. Getting old, were you? Mi
ddle age creeping up on you, Granddad? Had to prove you were—’
‘Shut up, Kathy. It wasn’t like that.’ His voice bubbled with desperation. ‘I’m sorry you had to find out the way you did. I guess I should have told you at the beginning, but I thought I might frighten you off.’
‘You are right about that. I wouldn’t have come near you if I’d known. Now I want you out of my sight and out of my life. You ought to get down on your knees and thank God for Jackie because your wife is a woman and a half.’
‘Which is why it was always going to be hard leaving her. I was prepared to; you must understand that I loved you enough to take the risk.’
‘Did you find it hard to leave Fiona?’
‘Of course, I did,’ Tony mumbled.
‘Why did you do it?’
‘Because I loved Jackie,’ he shouted.
‘And you don’t love her anymore?’
‘It isn’t the same between us now, we’ve become different people.’
‘Well, things do change,’ said Kath in an offhand manner.
‘I was ready to make the biggest change for you.’
‘What third time lucky?’ Kath looked at him in disgust. ‘Please, no more lies. You were never going to leave Jackie or the kids. I was nothing more than a passing fancy, something to while away the days before you buggered off to New York. Another thing you forgot to mention.’
‘How could I tell you? Jackie arranged it as a surprise present.’
‘It certainly surprised me.’
‘I didn’t know how to tell you. Please believe me, Kathy.’
‘Once, I may have done, but not now because this is how Darren must feel. Oops, there goes my guilty secret.’
‘There was someone else?’ Tony said in a strangled whisper.
‘Yes.’ She was hurting him and enjoying every moment of it. ‘Whilst I wasted my time on you, poor old Darren wasted his on me. Bit of a vicious circle, but I had to find something to do for all those times when you weren’t available.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘Try saying goodbye.’
‘If this is what you want.’ Tony rose from the wall and groped his way to the driver’s side of the car. ‘You can be with your Darren, and I’ll be with my kids. I wish it hadn’t ended like this.’