Noble Farmer

by A W Sheffield

  “I have never been more serious, Mr. Corwell.” He offered me a hand and pulled me to my feet. “Here in ALOW, you can be whoever you want, do whatever you want. You’re a soldier, you can go on campaign, take over new lands, kill the hordes of the Legion. Or you can learn a profession, earn coin that is completely transferable over to the Real World. Thanks to your sister’s bank, G.E.B. You can become a minstrel, carpenter, there is a profession for almost anything here.” He gave me a light slap on the shoulder as he continued to explain. “You were given the player’s guide to the world, but like I said, you were pretty gone. So, you’re going to be at a disadvantage.”

  “I... never thought I would be able to afford to come here.” I stated dumbly, it was all too much. The whole world knew what ALOW was, the state-of-the-art medical treatment labs that could cure even cancer. All the while the patient played in a game in an alternative state of mind. I had read about it, searched it on the internet at the post library. My own brother John had been a beta player for it, years ago, before the accident.

  “All is well, James, do you go by James?”

  “Jimmy, or Jim.”

  “Jim it is. As I was saying. Your ride is taken care of by your brother and, of course, discounted for your service to our great nation.”

  “Of course.”

  He smiled at me, his face settling back into the smug smirk. “I would like to also inform you that he has purchased a Nobleman’s Package for you.” My jaw dropped at his words. A nobleman, it was the easiest and hardest way known for players to pay to win. Easy in the fact that you could be “birthed” into a High Lord’s household, have men at arms at your beck and call. Marry into a Royal Household if your prestige was high enough and all but make a fortune. Hard, due to the constant demand of your House, if your father goes to war with a rival, then you go too. No time for questing or running dungeons. Plus, I had read at one time it was a dog eat dog world, people were always trying to get a leg up, trying to pay off their medical debts.

  “Thats...outstanding.” I couldn’t help but feel a weight lift off my shoulders. Questions poured from my mouth without restraint. I wanted to know everything, which house, what land, who were my father rivals, how…

  “Whoa, there big guy.” Henry held up his hand to stem the flow. The smugness left his face as he brought up his tablet. “One at a time...so. You are of House Persik, your lands are in the southwestern region of Atheria. Your Liege is High Lord Weston Harwick, who, you will have to present yourself too within thirty days or lose your title.” I saw him flicking through his tablet and his expression changed entirely when he moved the tablet down to his side. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but...ah, it would seem you are the last of the Persik Line. No rivals, no campaign contacts, not even a Keep. You’re ah… baseline. A Lesser Noble.”

  I was in shock, “Say what now?”

  “Hardly more than a commoner, a peasant. A boonies hick lord, as they are called.”

  “English.”

  “You’re the bottom of the barrel, man. Your startup capital is higher than most peoples, due to you have to start from scratch. But you have good fertile ground here, and three hundred acres of it. Maybe you should try your hand at farming.”

  “What.The.Fuck.” I said the words slowly. “Did John do this?”

  “Ah...yeah.”

  “WHY?!” I roared my question as my patience waned.

  “I don’t have an answer for you. Maybe you could ask him if you met up with him?” I raised an eyebrow at the word, “Maybe.” Henry shook his head at me, I knew it wasn’t his fault, but someone needed to know I was not overly happy with this. “It’s a big world man, he is the Lord of the Dusk lands. They are over a thousand miles to the north and west from here. If you dropped everything and walked there, you might be able to talk with him before your treatment is over.”

  “This is fucking bullshit.” I stated with an explosion of breath. Like in the army, one could not choose the conditions of their life, they just had to adapt and overcome. I would do just that, fuck John and his stupid test, that’s what this was. A test. He had always been on me to get out from under Janis’s shadow and make something of myself. Now he was forcing me to do it, like I was seven all over again and with the worst possible conditions. Swallowing my anger, I looked at Henry. “How much money do I have and where can I find someone to teach me how to farm?”

  He instantly brightened. “Great, looking on the bright side, love it.” He pulled up his tablet and started to punch away at the screen. “In ALOW, there are always at least two ways to do something, sometimes multiple, you can learn from a Master Farmhand as his apprentice or you can just hire one outright. Dependant on what your overall plan for your land is

  “I would say the latter would be best, as there are no less than three harvests a year, due to the long summers. With a winter harvest, you stand to turn a good profit if you hire the right people. Just remember, nothing is written in stone in ALOW, just because you hire someone doesn’t mean they won’t try to screw over, player or NPC alike.”

  “I get it, so where can I hire these farmhands?”

  “At the Labor Guild in Harwick. You just have to put in a request for what you need and they will fill it. You must never forget though, labor has different levels and standards.” He held up his hands and started to count off on his fingers. “Freemen require a dorm, barracks or bunkhouse, hearty meals and are well paid. Serfs, lesser on the housing, they can grow their own food after a cycle or year, they are tied to the land and can be used if you go to war, freemen too. The last is slaves, tied to you, there are no housing or food requirements. But just know, slaves like to run off if given the chance and must have a handler.” When his hand came into a fist he stated, “we Americans don’t really like that idea, but cheap labor is cheap labor. The price matches the quality. Three serfs are equivalent to one freeman, ten slaves to a serf, if you do the math, it’s overall cheaper just to hire a freeman.”

  “So, first order of business, go to...Harhick was it?”

  “Harwick.” Henry corrected for me.

  “Harwick. Talk to this Lord Harwick and then to the labor guild. Got it. Anything else I need to know?” I was a soldier and I had my orders now, life is simple stupid, don’t over complicate it. Just like my old DS used to say.

  Henry shot me a confused expression, mixed in with a fair amount of mirth. “We could spend your entire treatment time on things you need to know. But I am a firm believer in, learn by doing. Go out there and do.” I got a grip on my resolve and mentally put on my big boy panties.

  “Which way?”

  He pointed in a direction. “Harwick is a week that way, you will come to a road in about an hour. Take it west and it will curve north. You might want to buy a map while you’re in Harwick, it will be uploaded into your player profile and will allow you to find your way back. It will also put an indicator on your player screen showing which way your home is.” I nodded and just before I stepped off, he waved his hand and a leather pack appeared in his hand. “Everything you need is in here, fire starter, kindling. A canteen, travel rations, a small plain knife, sleeping roll, and the most important,” he waved his hand again and a small gold ring appeared. “Your signet ring. Think of it like your debit card, if you want to purchase something, just touch the ring to the vendor or merchant.”

  I nodded and took the ring, noticing the regal looking bear head at a slight angle to the right. “Don’t lose that, or flash it around too much, you will paint a target on your back. If you should lose it, you can return to any heraldry shop and get another, if you have the coin to do so. Remember Jim, this is just a game. Have fun and enjoy all the splendors ALOW has to offer. Happy hunting...oh shit.” He said shaking his head at me. Palming his face, he said in a befuddled voice. “Don’t use your real name, your player name is Jaeger Persik and don’t try to explain what players are to NPCs. They will think you are crazy if you tell them you�
��re immortal.”

  “Copy that.” I stated and said, “be good Henry, thanks for the intel.”

  “Anytime, and if you need anything, just pull up your player screen and there is a red “H” at the bottom for help. Just think of what you need help with and I will reply as soon as I can, as long as it doesn’t have to do with in game theatrics. For example, needing to find a party or how to down a boss.” I nodded and he added. “And the rules, three golden ones to live by. Rape is illegal, you can’t do it, so don’t even try. Hazing another player to an extreme will get you booted before you even know what’s happening. And lastly, karma is a real thing here. Treat others how you want to be treated and they will reciprocate, especially the NPCs. Be nice and friendly and you may find doors opening for you that might have remained closed if you were an asshat. Cool?”

  “Frozen. Got it.”

  “Enjoy Jim,” he disappeared a moment later. But it was more than that, I could feel the pressure of him leaving. Like when you ears pop while chewing gum on an airplane. Less a pop and more a shifting, like an implosion of matter. I didn’t know why my brain spun out of control at the thought, or why I was even having them. Jimmy Corwell was never what anyone would call a scholar, physics was not a course of study I had ever pursued, let alone had any knowledge in regards to matter or of it shifting.

  My body was whole and worked great, if only lacking in physical strength and endurance. But my mind, that was what was scaring me. The rolling, wooded hills, so very much like the pictures of England. I knew it was all a game, a fantasy, not real, and yet, my brain was telling me otherwise. The smell of grass, the chill of the wind and the heat of the sun, a sky so blue it was like the eyes of a goddess. The earth was so soft and fertile, like that of her body...WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING?! Pull yourself together man!

  The day wore on and I spent my traveling time frolicing like a new born foal. It had been too long since I could use my body’s full range of motion and I used every ounce of energy I had, acting like a dumbass.

  It was pleasing, pleasant even, and when the sun was straight over head, I collapsed in a heap in the tall grass on the side of the dirt road. Then my body told me it was time to release the demon inside of me and as I squatted on the side of the road, it dawned on me. I doubt theres fucking toilet paper here. To make matters worse, I didn’t have a spare sock, or even a sock to speak of. I made a mental note that even if the grass blades were thick and might actually work as TP, they were sharp as hell. With my crack bleeding from several stinging cuts, I trudged on toward the afternoon and what lay ahead of me in this new world.

  Chapter Two

  As the sky began to darken, I made it to a shit hole of a village, or town, or whatever the place was. There must have been a recent rain, for once passed the first wooden hut, the dirt road softened. Then turned to disgusting mud a few feet further. My thin cloth shoes did little to keep the moisture from my feet, and at some point, it felt as if they weren’t even on my feet anymore.

  A kind, toothless man directed me toward the Inn, and I found it by the drunken din of its patrons. It looked like a viking longhouse, complete with a deer hide front door. Not that I had high expectations for the place, but at least I would be out of the mud and warm, I hoped.

  Upon entering the establishment, I wasn’t at all surprised to see its meager stone fireplace and rough-cut wooden tables. It was noticeably warmer and I was no stranger to the rowdy chorus of drunken men. A smile crossed my lips as I made my way toward the bar, it had an almost homey feeling to it all, something that made my heart ache.

  “What's your poison?”

  “Beer, stouter the better.”

  “There be a dwarf over in the corner, I’m sure he would be willing to drop his drawers and let you take a good long pull from his knob.” The man next to me shared in the laughter with the bartender. “I serve two things here, piss beer and weaker liquor. Don’t like it, you can fuck off.”

  My anger got the better of me and before I knew it, I had him by the collar of his shirt, and his jaw bounced of the wooden bar top. Realization hit me faster than it did the man next to me and I pulled the bartenders face close to mine. “Now that I got your attention. I would really appreciate a beer, without any additives, your poor excuse for humor one of them.” I patted his forehead once with my other hand and added with a forced smile. “Let’s try to not have this conversation again, clear?”

  He nodded his answer and I released him. A wooden mug was placed in front of me and looked relatively spit free. I knew I had just made a mistake, I was in a place I did not know, surrounded by people who had just stopped their conversations to see what all the commotion was. The mug had not touched my lips before I heard the first pair of boots heading my way. Downing the mug as quick as possible, hoping for some liquid courage, standing quickly to my full height and trying to make myself look bigger than I actually was, I turned to see three men standing behind me.

  It was easy to see how they swayed slightly, more than a little intoxicated. Only one stood on the balls of his feet, instantly I knew he was a fighter. The other two were probably just there for show, one, if not both, would take off if I dropped the center most man fast. “Gentlemen?”

  The blow didn’t come from any of them, but from the man next to me at the bar. It was solid and had enough weight behind it to drop me to the ground. The taproom erupted in laughter and before I could stand, rough hands seized me and pulled me up to my feet. This was like a bad movie, and the worst part was the caption that floated by my vision.

  *** You are stunned five seconds before you recover. ***

  The next blow added another three seconds to the timer. Well fuck me and stacking debuff timers. My health bar flashed in the right corner of my vision and the blows didn’t stop until the timer was well over a minute. Someone finally called out for them to stop, and it wasn’t until a large man picked one of them completely off the ground by the scruff of his neck that they turned their attention away from me. It was like they were talking under water, or just really far away. I knew they were talking, could even hear them, but the words made no sense to my ears. Then all language barriers fell when the stun timer hit zero. “...had yer fun, now leave him be. You don’t know who he is, might be pissing up the wrong tree if you know what I mean. Reckon it might be better to show him there’s no bad blood to be had here in Larvin Hold, not that you was fightin’ him fair anyways.”

  “You sayin’ we cheap shot him, Cletus?” The one in the center stated.

  I laid there beat, bloody and pissed. My mind switched to somewhere between fuck it and survival mood. As the big man was opening his mouth to answer, I struck. A solid uppercut to the center man’s genitals that even made me wince when I felt what my fist did to his boys. Kicking out my left leg, I felt my mud-covered foot hit the man square in the knee and he dropped. The one to my right, I dove forward in a move I had learned in the army. Half football tackle, half wrestling take down, I got my feet under me and propelled my shoulder into his midsection, pushing up with my legs. Feeling his body move with mine, I gripped his legs and pulled for all I was worth. His back leveled out horizontally and the momentum had him angling head first into the dirt floor.

  He landed with an explosion of breath, and I didn’t waste a minute as I straddled him. Getting my best punches in before I heard the fourth come for me. Combat rolling off the downed man, I came up in my fighting stance, ready, itching for the fight to continue. There would be no sucker punch this time. He looked me over with a renewed vigor, but he came anyway. He tried to lower his body on me, and with a fake jab, he aligned himself perfectly. With a quick switch of my hips, I fired off my hardest kick, scoring another two broken testicles. The Inn was so silent that a cricket would have sounded like a rock concert.

  Seeing how no one moved to help the wounded men, I relaxed from my stance and looked at the big man. “Thanks for the assistance.”

  His grey breaded head til
ted toward me as he said, “well, not what I had in mind, but any here can see they had it coming’.” He looked around the Inn as if to see if anyone wanted to voice their opposition. “I’d reckon you evened it out all right.” He started to rub the back of his neck like he was embarrassed to just be standing there. “Barkeep, a round for the victor.”

  The rest of the evening was spent with my new friend, big man Cletus Doyle. At first, I thought him slow, dimwitted, but as the night stretched out, I found the man to be a deep thinker that took his time in answering my questions or asking his own. There was something about the man I felt drawn too, like an old friend I had not seen in ages. Maybe an uncle who left when I was young and only just returned. I had never felt this comfortable with someone I had just met, being a felon made for some big defensive walls. Walls that this man broke down with his easy demeanor and almost gentle way.

  “Why you headed for Harwick?” He drawled after sipping at his beer.

  “I have business up there. Need to find some employees and get a few things.”

  He scratched at his breaded jaw as he said, “might know a few folks up there, what are you looking for?” Against my better judgement, I outlined what and who I needed. Not that I knew what a farmer needed, but I had a very vague idea. “Farmin’ huh, grew up on a farm. What you gonna plant?” The cat was out of the bag and I told him as much, that I didn’t know the first thing about it or even what plants would do well on my land. “Where’s the land?” I told him. He pursed his lips together before saying. “Good weather here for wheat, might even be able to pull out five harvests a cycle if you don’t over work the land.”

  Seeing an opportunity, I asked “Maybe you could help me Cletus. You seem to know a hell of a lot more about this stuff than I do.”

  “Goes without saying.” I grinned at him, his dry humor was refreshing. “Reckon I’d be able to get you started on the right path. What you offering?” My head dropped backwards, easy way to make money my ass. My siblings were business geniuses, I didn’t know the first thing about running an oven, let alone a business like a farm.