They all shot me stunning smiles of pure white teeth and curtseyed. It was then I noticed the tips of pointed ears poke through their elegant blonde hair. Elves, I nearly swore out loud. I bowed in return remembering the etiquette, “Ladies, I fear I am at a disadvantage, had I known such beauties were on their way, I might have tried to make a better effort.”
“I wonder, had you known if we were ugly, would you have put in as little effort as you have.” Touché! “You may save your silver-tongued words for the females of Atheria, I however, do not respond well to hollow words, forced from an idle mouth and a dullard brain.”
“And if my words were sincere and spoken from the heart?” I retorted more than a little hotly.
“Enough Lara, you may joust with your witticisms another time.”
The one in front stepped aside and bowed, “Mistress.”
The speaker exited the carriage and again I was stunned by the female specimen in front of me. My heart pounded in my chest and my tongue became devoid of moisture. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Platinum blonde hair that fell to her waist, a skin tight gown made of a blue so light it might as well be silver. Trimmed in a thread that sparkled in the sunlight and left little to the imagination to the female wearing it. “My apologies, High Lord Persik, my Maiden forgets herself.” She descended to the ground with a grace that baffled my mind. This time when I bowed, I saw the soil give me a thumbs up. DAMN IT!
“I am Lady Lathura Dinhel, of the Middle Realm Alliance, we are known as the MRA Elves to Atherians.”
“My Lady.” I stood to find eyes of clear jade regarding me and skin so pale it might as well have been from milk. “It is a pleasure, may I inquire to the reason of your visit, I was not made aware.”
She looked down at the ground, as if to see what I was looking at. Her eyes quickly snapped back to me and I saw a slight up lifting at the corner of her full, pale lips. “I have come, High Lord Persik, because your Mediator wished to show us your farm. The soil upon our Isle is not what you would call bountiful. It was her understanding that if anyone could help the MRA, it was you.” Relief rushed through me; thank the goddess this wasn’t another courtship thing. “Duke Braemir also thought, that should we,” she looked at her lady in waiting, “hit it off, was that the term he used?” She quickly turned back to me, “hit it off, then we might be able to strengthen the bond between our two nations.” FUCKING KILL ME NOW!
“I see.” I moved aside to allow them to pass, “as you can see, I am put a humble farmer, hardly a proper match for an elegant lady such as yourself.” I didn’t know what I was doing, but if I could push her away, not so gently, made she would get the idea soon enough.
She paused before, her eyes six inches above my own. Damn she was tall, probably had legs that could wrap around me twice. I gave my mind a mental shake, FOCUS BRO, get them out of here and get back to work. “You seem not open to such an ideal of our two nations creating a greater bond.”
“My lady is a mind reader.” STUPID, I mentally chastied myself for speaking so openly with her. “I mean to say is,” I let my breath out, better to drop it now and stop making a fool of myself. “...that you, my lady, are far above my station. I really am just a farmer and a female as beautiful as you, probably has men falling over themselves. To be honest, I doubt you would like it here, I don’t even have a Keep. I would be happy to help you out with your soil, but I would need some to spea… see what the problem is.”
“You are an honest man, and a half breed of my kin, rare.” I saw her eyes narrow slightly and she tossed her head, her silken hair flared outward behind her. I had seen the move before, the charade was about over. “There is a trunk of soil we have brought along with us. If you would be so kind as to have your men fetch it.” There it was, the inner bitch let loose. I looked at the two men and made a motion with my hand. I would make it up to them later, a day off, better supper? I hated playing the dickhead nobleman and my employees deserved better.
“If you would follow me, I will give you a tour of the farm, or if it pleases you, there is a dining room if you wish to wait until I am done.” I really didn’t know how to handle myself, my mask was so broken, I was left a moronic imbecile.
“I have been looking forward to seeing this farm yours, High Lord Persik. By visual inspection, it hardly seems worth all the prestige it has raised for you.” I forced a smile, not trusting the words that wanted to spill out of me. Insult me all you like bitch, but this farm is more than it looks.
Get a grip man, nothing is going to happen, you messed up, get over it and get passed it. I took them to each of the fields, explained how they differed from another, and why kind of compost we used. Then we came to plot ten and she was raging, the like I had never seen before. She was no diva, she was a jelly monster hose beast, and the things she said she wanted to do to the Elven women were unrepeatable. The Elf seemed to notice my pause and I quickly recovered, or hoped.
“As you can see, we have no animals on the land besides work horses. Everything we eat comes from this field. She...ah, we keep it well cared for since it is our food plot, as you can see.” I was stumbling with my words. I hardly doubted I had ever been this angry since I arrived here.
“She?”
Fuck my life, “a simple reference, she cares for us like a mother would a child. She bares us all our sustenance.” I hurriedly moved away before the plot of land became unruly, I didn’t know what the soil was really capable of, and I really didn’t want to find out right now. “Over here, you will see our orchard, we have apples, pears and Heart Fruit.”
“Heart Fruit, and so many, tell me, what is your secret to keeping the insects away?”
“Sorry, trade secret. We are the only supplier in all the south western territory.” My answer came out all at once, more a mumbling reply of words forced together. “And that concludes the tour.”
She turned on me, “do you expect me to believe you produce all that you have, from these small fields?” I didn’t like her tone very much.
“I do, because there is not another cut field in miles, aside from what you see here.”
“Your farm has feed the entire Atherian Kingdom, almost solely, from here?” Her jade eyes blinked like she was looking at an idiot, or a liar, probably both. “Surely you jest.” Yep, she thought I was a liar.
“I’m not. Our yield is a harvested crop ever three weeks. Quality ranges from average to excellent. Dependent on the weather, we make do with what the gods give us.” I squared my shoulder on her, no person was going to come on my land, and call me a liar, Elf or human, this piece of loving dirt was mine and the goddess’s.
‘“A man of faith, how quaint.” Her beautiful mouth twisted slightly. By the minute the beauty of this female was turning sour.
I forced another smile on my face, “I think we are done here, please I will escort you to the Lift.” I didn’t wait to see if they followed, and I noticed the dirt was showing me angry faces with fists raised. “Oh sure, now you say something.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing.” I grumbled and headed for the trunk of dirt. This time I did wait to see as they passed. I opened the lid and stuck my hand in the soil, “hello.” But there was no answer, no life. What the hell? I pulled a little from the trunk and placed it on the ground, “whats going on with this?”
The answer was one I knew in my heart, it was dead. I don’t know why I felt so bad for it, but I picked up the trunk and placed it back on the carriage. The Elves were waiting in front of the carriage door. “You can’t grow anything because you soil is dead. There are no nutrients, no life, it is nothing but barren dirt.” I bowed and turned in almost the same move, “Have a pleasant journey.”
“High Lord Persik, am I to tell the Duke of your poor manners?” I stopped and turned slowly.
“Tell him whatever you want, but you are upsetting my land, and I would hate for the Duke to receive a poor-quality product if you
stayed here another moment.”
“Oh, I daresay we have upset him,” the one named Lara injected the insult with a not so covered hand over her mouth. “A pity, I did like watching him stumble over himself.” She climbed into the carriage and the other two followed.
I could feel my upper lip twitching. “Thank you for wasting our time, High Lord Persik, I will be sure to give the Duke, and my father, an accurate telling of what went on here.” She promised far more sweetly than any part of the conversation we had just had. We another toss of her head and a flick of her hair, she entered the carriage without another word.
I watched the carriage take off and I looked down at the soil, “thumbs up, really?”
“They were hot? No under breeches!” It said back to me. I shook my head at the adolescent soil. I learned a hard lesson this day, one I should have known with my dealings with Hana. Just because they are beautiful doesn’t mean they aren’t ugly as hell on the inside.
The next week, I was sitting under a tree, reading the beginner Engineer book, when a Lift touched down and Hana came storming toward me. “What the fuck Jae? Are you trying to start a war, seriously, insulting an Elven Lady?”
“They started it from the beginning.” I said not even looking up. “Maybe someone should teach them some manners, or maybe give me a heads up that your sending a bunch of stuck up bitches my way. I might have handled it different with a little more intel on the matter.”
“They are Elves you Jackass, they are all stuck up.” She stomped her foot into the ground.
“And that, would have been good to know.” I turned the page. “What brings you down to the boonies?” I was partly ignoring her, partly because I was still feeling the sting from the week before. And partly because I wanted her gone just as much as I wanted all Ladies gone from my life. I was not really in the mood for a lecture at this point in my life.
“You did, asshat, you haven’t been answering my messages.”
“I sure as hell have been. Single words. No to all of them.” I paused and looked up, “wait was that last week?” I looked back down at my book, “been throwing them in the fire. No point in answering bullshit like that.”
“You’re a dick, do you know that?”
“And you’re an airhead if you think I am going to run up to some mountain lord and beg him to marry his daughter. No thank you. This dick doesn’t beg.”
“That was one out of several, what about the others.”
“Don’t need cattle, or sheep, or livestock of any kind, I’m good.” I turned the page.
“Will you at least look at me?”
“Why you’re the one who said I have to build a Keep, now you’re pissed because I am doing it? Will you make up your mind, you’re upsetting the soil.”
She growled in frustration and I lowered the book, giving her my full attention. “What Hana? I am doing what it is you told me to do, and with all these interruptions you’re sending to the farm. We are behind because you’re all over the place, court this girl, build a Keep, stop building a Keep. I am sending you a bunch of bitches and I am not going to give you even the slightest hint about how to handle them. While the whole time, pulling workers from the fields to give the illusion that I am some great High Lord or something. Now, unless you have something dire that needs my attention, I need to get back to learning so I can finally get this village built for the little lady you are so adamite about finding me.”
“Duke Braemir is not pleased with how you handled the Elves.” She started in a small voice. “He has asked for you to make a public apology.”
“Asked?”
“Nicely.”
“So, I can refuse.”
“You would be stupid to.”
“Why is the Duke meddling in my affairs all of a sudden? What the fuck does he have anything to do with this at all? He can just order some shithead low lord to marry the bitch.”
“You’re right, I might have been withholding information from you. But it was because I wanted it to be a surprise. It's not every day a MRA Elf wants to form an Alliance with a High Lord.”
“You said all Elves are dicks right? So, the Duke knows this, why do I have to apologize for being insulted? Had he been in my shoes, I am sure he would have reacted the same way, if not removing their heads from their shoulders for insulting him.” I raised the book back up, I was done with her.
“I have no answer for you, Jae, I am here to get you, and that's it. We have much to speak of and if you refuse, it will be costly, I mean majorly. Maybe we can talk to the Duke beforehand, so he can hear your side of the story. Once he learns the truth, you never know.”
“Or I will get a lecture on manners, maybe he might cast me out of Atheria because I am the biggest jackass fuck up in all of the kingdom?” I raised my eyebrows before I said. “No wait, there are others far worse than me.” I turned another page. “I know when I am being targeted Hana, it happened in real life, more than once, by people with more to lose than a stupid elf’’s pride. If you weren’t so busy, trying to tell me what to do all the time, and take a step back, you would see it. This was supposed to happen, that is why I was insulted before Lady whatever even got out of the carriage. It was a test, one I don’t know if I failed or passed, but it was meant to come to this.”
“Then grin and bear it, be a man Jae.” She huffed at me, her hands on her shapely hips.
“Whatever.” I lowered my eyebrows and gazed at her over the top of the book. “if I do this, no more Ladies showing up unannounced, and once I start building, you leave me the hell alone until it's finished, deal?”
“Yes, Jae, deal.” She conceded without so much as a second thought.
“Wow, that was easy.”
Chapter Twelve
A large wave crashed against the bow of the ship, sending spray high into the air, drenching me once again. My stomach turned on itself and I gripped the side of the rail as I vomited for the millionth time in three-day journey to the MRA.
The Elves laughed, some even pointed as I wiped the drool, half vomit spittel from my mouth. “Yeah, haha, laugh at the farmer.”
The events from the last week flashed through my brain and I groaned for the hundredth time, I hated the Duke and this Count Estar. Fucking bastards, they did this to me. Forced me to marry her and after I had my first guy time since I awoke in the game.
I looked at my new elven wife, standing next to the Ship’s Captain like nothing was amiss. Her strawberry blonde hair billowed out fair behind her, her brilliant blue eyes looked toward the horizon and our destination, her father’s house. She was not what I would call a shapely woman. More like a two by four, nearly seven feet tall with long, wiry limbs. Her cheekbones were overly pronounced, giving her cheeks a sunken look on a very angular face. The neck that came from the light traveling jacket she wore, went on for days and stretched nearly to the heavens. I had never seen a neck that long.
It was like a bad dream come to life, one moment I was sitting out, drinking and laughing with the Duke and Count. Then they had given me a quest, a vengeance quest that was more for my own benefit than theirs. At least, that was what they told me, and I was stupid enough to accept it. They should have taken my High Lord Title from me, for dramatic breach of protocol. But literally gave me a slap on the wrist for not conducting myself as a Lord should.
The Quest was simple, get close to Lathura Dinhel, and make her spill her drink on herself. It was stupid, childish and I should have refused, but it was vengeance of an immature child. They used me, as much as the immature child as either of them.
Stumbling into the banquet hall, I even took it to the next level due to my high level of intoxication. Lathura was a vision of finery when my unfocused eyes found her. Wearing a beautiful gown of white and gold, she had been drinking a deep merlot wine. With as much tact as an ox moving through a chime shop, I stalked toward my seated target. I waited just behind her and as she went to take a drink from the fluted gla
ss. I not so gently nudged her elbow. I should have called it quits then, but as I watched the glass drop. That day shot to the forefront of my mind. The insults, their smugness. I wanted my revenge just as much as the Duke and Count did.
The glass fell into her lap, a place no female of any race would want a deep red, wet stain. In my drunken stupidity, I even took it to the next level.
“My Lady, apologizes, I didn’t see you there.” I came to find out later, that was the first real cut, not to see an Elven Maiden at a formal function was the deepest insult I could have ever repaid her with. But no, I had to open my mouth again. “My, I really am sorry, but you better do something about that, you know how wine can be. And I really don’t want to mention it, but it looks like you might be on your blood week.” Her perfect face was the perfect mix of shock and outrage. Blemishes upon her porcelain doll like face. “Not that I know anything about elves, but it seriously makes it look like you’re having a heavy flow right now.” My gloves were cast off and thrown upon the ground. Not that I knew what I was doing, and as the Elven Lady fled in embarrassment, I could see the outrage on more than a few Elven faces around me.
Those three ladies in waiting, it turns out, were her bodyguards. Two went after her and the one that remained, was not overly happy with me. I backed away from her with my hands in the air, “Lady, I meant no offense!” She crept toward me, a hidden blade that seemed to appear in her hands as if from thin air. Completely ready to avenge her mistress with my life.
“You will HOLD!” The Duke roared into the hall, “what is going on here, no one is permitted arms within my halls!” And like that, the master moved his pawn to checkmate. Later that night, as we cheered my success and improvisation skills, they inducted me into their little circle of misfits. I was one of the group for the night, until the sun rose on the next day.
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