by Sarah Noffke
The whole situation still felt surreal, but Paris stood by her decision. She wasn’t going to allow her uncle to get into trouble for her mistakes. Trouble did follow her around, and she knew he didn’t want her in jail. She was willing to avoid it for his sake more than hers. Paris thought she could put the smackdown on some jerks if she were in prison, but it wasn’t worth it. Uncle John would worry about her incessantly, and that was the last thing she wanted.
Not only did Paris not have many possessions she needed to take with her, but she also didn’t have anyone besides Uncle John worth saying goodbye to. He had offered to see her off, but she’d refused, not thinking she could manage to leave if he was there. She needed to make a clean break, and he’d make her regret the whole thing.
Therefore, after a lifetime on Roya Lane, Paris was leaving without fanfare. As much as Paris defended the little guy, she never made friends with them. It would involve being nice to people, and that might make her throw up.
Looking to the side, Paris pretended there were others around her, waving at her and sad to see her go. It wasn’t that she wanted a huge farewell, but it was upsetting to realize she’d lived this whole meaningless life where no one cared that she was leaving. Uncle John was probably right that this college business would be good for her, although she doubted it would soften her up much.
“See you all later.” She glanced over her shoulder and didn’t see anyone there.
“See ya,” a tiny squeaky voice replied.
She froze, not having expected anyone to respond.
Paris looked around but didn’t see the voice’s source. Farther down the lane, elves strolled, and gnomes congregated on the magical street only accessible by magical races such as magicians and fairies, and the like. Roya Lane was full of things devoted to magic, like the Fairy Law Enforcement Agency or the Official Brownie Headquarters.
She blinked and noticed a small squirrel flicking his puffy tail on the cobbled street beside her. It wasn’t unheard of to find a talking animal in the magical world, but it also wasn’t common.
“Did you say that?” she asked the squirrel, feeling like a weirdo for talking to it.
He looked over his shoulder. “I think so. What did you hear? If it was ‘see ya,’ that was me. If not, it was the voices in your head.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle. “So far, I haven’t heard any voices, but that might change soon based on where I’m going.”
“Oh?” The squirrel’s cheeks puffed out as if they were full of nuts. “Are you going to the fae kingdom? That place would drive anyone crazy.”
Paris shook her head, having heard about the fae in Las Vegas a time or two. “Thankfully, I don’t have to go there and lose my brain cells by hanging out with a bunch of fae. If so, I’d invite the voices into my head. No, I’m heading to Happily Ever After College.” She glanced at the end of the alley. “As soon as they open the portal for me, that is.”
When she turned back, the squirrel was angling his head. “Oh, I’ve heard of that college. What a fascinating place to study.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Paris grumbled. “I mean, I want to learn how to help the world be a better place, but learning about etiquette and all is less than appealing.”
He grimaced. “Etiquette isn’t my thing, but I meant it would be fascinating to study at the school. No one except fairy godmothers is allowed there. It’s in a bubble, from what I’ve deduced from other conversations. So stepping foot there, from a scientific standpoint, would be interesting.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re a very strange squirrel.”
“You have no idea.” He nodded.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” he answered at once. “Anyway, my name is Faraday. You can call me Faraday.”
Paris laughed. “Usually, when someone says my name is this or that, and you can call me blank, it’s different from the original name.”
“I don’t do things how people usually do.”
“Is that because you’re not a people?”
A shadow passed over his face before disappearing. “What about you? What do you go by?”
She glanced at the wall of bricks. Still no portal. With a sigh, she turned back. “My name is Paris, and you can call me Pare…Paris.” She couldn’t think of anyone but Uncle John who called her by the affectionate nickname “Pare.” She was going to miss hearing him call her that.
“Well, Pare-Paris, it’s nice to meet you.” Faraday bowed.
She shook her head. “No, my name is Paris. Call me Paris.”
He pursed his mouth. “Usually, when someone says my name is this or that, and you can call me blank, it’s different from the original name,” he repeated verbatim.
“Ha-ha.” She didn’t mean it.
“I’ve deduced that you don’t want to go to this fairy godmother college,” he remarked.
“What gave it away?”
“Your demeanor for one, which lacks enthusiasm,” he began. “Your regret about not having anyone to see you off reinforced the idea.”
“Those were a lot of words I didn’t expect squirrels to say,” she observed.
“That you expect squirrels to say anything says a lot,” he fired back. “You must have really strange friends.”
“None, really,” she confessed.
“Yes, hence the lack of people here to send you off.”
“Again, ‘hence’ isn’t a word a woodland creature should use.”
He shrugged. “I don’t spend much time in the woods if that helps.”
“It doesn’t,” she stated dryly. She noticed a small glow starting at the end of the alley. The portal was opening. Paris gulped. “Well, I have to go. They’re opening the way to the college.”
“Okay.” Faraday hopped after her as she walked toward the light, which grew bigger and brighter several yards away.
Paris froze and looked down at the strange squirrel. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” he answered at once, his eyes sliding to the side.
“Cool. Well, catch you on the flipside, Faraday.”
“Sounds good, Paris.”
She took another step while saying a silent goodbye to Roya Lane, the place she’d spent most of her life, living in an apartment alongside Uncle John.
The squirrel’s tail lay flat as he took several steps to keep up with her.
Paris halted and spun to face him. He froze, his chin tilting downward. “Are you following me?”
“It might appear that way,” he answered.
“Why would that be?”
“Because I’m following you.”
She laughed. “Why?”
“Well, first, because I’ve always wanted to go to a place like a fairy godmother college that operates independently, and this seems a perfect opportunity to sneak through a portal to get there,” he began. “Second, my research could be aided by learning new magical practices such as those taught to fairy godmothers.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Is there a third reason?”
“Well, naturally,” he chirped. “All good arguments are constructed of three solid points.”
“Again, you don’t speak like a squirrel.” She realized how ridiculous this notion was.
“Third, you seem like you could use…a friend.” He said the last part sheepishly.
“You want to be my friend?” She felt suddenly embarrassed.
“Well, I don’t really have any friends either,” he remarked. “You don’t want to go to this place and leave behind your world. I do want to go. Neither of us would prefer to go alone because that’s scary, so it makes logical sense to me to go together.”
“I don’t know you.” She narrowed her eyes at him.
He copied her expression. “And I don’t know you.”
Paris laughed at this. “You can’t sleep in my bed.”
“How presumptuous of you.” He sounded offended.
“Do you prefer trees?”
<
br /> “I prefer not to sleep,” he corrected. “But when I do, I like bamboo sheets with a high thread count.”
Paris blinked at him. “Now I know I’ve lost my mind. I’m talking to a high-maintenance squirrel with a large vocabulary.”
“If that makes you think you’re losing your mind, just you wait.” He sounded very mysterious.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” he said in a rush while angling his head toward the portal. “So, what do you say? Your portal won’t be open for much longer. Want company for this adventure you’re being forced into?”
“How do you know I’m being forced?”
“I’m a master of observation.”
Paris studied the strange squirrel. There was something very intriguing about him, and she didn’t think he was untrustworthy. She had a fantastic instinct for people, and animals too.
In truth, she didn’t want to go, but she didn’t have a choice. Staying in Roya Lane wasn’t going to do her any good. Uncle John was right. She would get into trouble if she stayed. Paris needed a change. She was overdue for it, and this weird creature had shown up at the eleventh hour and asked to accompany her to an unfamiliar place where she’d be inundated with new ideas and people and made to wear a dress. If ever she needed a friend, it was then.
Looking down at the squirrel, Paris smiled. “Okay, if you want to go with me, you can. But if you do anything nefarious, I’ll turn you into a hat.”
To her amusement, he grinned, showing a row of sharp teeth. “That’s a deal. I think this is the start of a great partnership.”
She sighed and wondered what she’d gotten herself into. “Or this is how I lose my mind.”
“Who says it can’t be both?” the squirrel asked as they strode forward.
The two stepped through the portal and entered the world of Happily Ever After College.
Chapter Nine
The grounds of Happily Ever After College were a stark contrast to Roya Lane. Whereas the cold February winds had been sweeping through the magical street in London, at the college, it felt like the perfect spring day.
“We’re not in our prior location by any means,” Faraday observed while sniffing the air happily.
“I think the phrase goes, ‘We’re not in Kansas anymore,’” Paris absently corrected. She squinted at the large mansion that stood in the distance, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the sunlight.
Faraday looked around. “This doesn’t resemble the rolling plains of Kansas and the weather for this time of year is completely wrong, so I would never have concluded that we stepped through the portal to Kansas.”
“Anymore,” Paris added. “I meant to say, ‘We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto.’”
The squirrel flicked his tail. “Faraday. I prefer to go by Faraday. I’m not sure where you were earlier, but I wasn’t in Kansas.”
Paris sighed and wondered if she made a mistake bringing the strange creature along. He’d used a convincing argument when he said that she didn’t want to go to fairy godmother college alone. And he did seem smart, but as far as being trustworthy, that was yet to be determined. “It’s from The Wizard of Oz. The phrase means we’re in a totally different location than a moment prior.”
“Wizard of Oz.” Faraday carefully rolled the words around in his mouth as though he was testing them. “I’ve never heard of him, but you’re correct that there has been a significant change to our location based on our prior coordinates.”
“Seriously?” Paris muttered. “The Wizard of Oz is a movie.”
“Haven’t heard of that either.”
“You’ve never seen one of most iconic movies of all times, but you referred to where we were as our prior coordinates? I’m certain I’ll ask you this many times, but what’s wrong with you?”
The squirrel shrugged. “I don’t have time for the cinemas, and that doesn’t make anything wrong with me—albeit one could argue that my time management skills could be to blame.”
“Yeah, I guess you have to do that whole squirreling away food in the winter thing.” Paris pointed at a tree. “Looks like you’ll do all right here.”
“I don’t forage,” he stated plainly, eyeing the tree as if it had offended him somehow.
“What do you eat in the cold winters then?” Paris was genuinely curious.
“Cheese sandwiches mostly,” he answered seriously. “Sometimes soup.”
She nodded as if this made perfect, reasonable sense. “A squirrel who eats soups and sandwiches. This is on par for this new strange life I’m living.”
“On the weekend, I like to add dessert to the mix,” Faraday offered.
“Peanut brittle?” Paris guessed with a laugh.
He gasped. “I don’t eat nuts. I’m highly allergic to them.”
Again, she nodded as if she should’ve expected this. “A squirrel who’s allergic to nuts. Nothing weird about that.”
“I also have seasonal allergies,” he added, sniffing as though the spring breeze laced with floral scents was about to make him sneeze.
“Well, it appears that much like me, you know how to derail a conversation and a special event such as this.” Paris looked out at the green grassy lawn that stretched between them and the large Victorian mansion. It was strangely quaint and very regal with its many turrets and balconies lined with hanging plants overflowing with flowers.
Leading to the large estate was a charming winding cobbled path with twisted oak trees lining it. In the distance, willow trees waved in the gentle breeze. The house reminded Paris of a grandmother’s house with the wraparound porch and smoke billowing from one of the many chimneys. It was a three-story baby blue edifice with white trim and had to have at least a hundred rooms or more.
Paris couldn’t see the back of the estate very well, but there appeared to be a greenhouse and another separate large structure. She also thought she caught sight of a lake in the distance and red stables.
Bordering the building on one side was a huge English garden with many statues and topiaries. Paris immediately longed to meander through it, smelling the giant roses she could see from even that distance. Growing up on busy Roya Lane and not having left it practically ever, Paris hadn’t many opportunities to play in gardens. She’d always had to remain on Roya Lane due to Uncle John’s work as a detective, and he was too busy for vacation.
On the other side of the large mansion was a thick dark forest. Shadows clung to the twisted oak trees that were dripping with moss. A chill ran down Paris’ back as a sudden icy wind raced across the grounds, making the tree branches creak and groan.
She pulled her gaze away from the ominous forest and focused on the house once more, thinking that it didn’t much look like an academy that trained fairy godmothers. If anything, it reminded Paris of a grandmother’s house—not that she’d ever been to one, not having a grandmother herself. Really, since age five, Paris only had Uncle John, and he was pretty much the opposite of a grandmother.
Suddenly, something occurred to Paris, and she turned, doing a complete circle. There was no one on the extensive grounds of Happily Ever After College, making it feel like a ghost town in a way. Maybe she’d stepped through the wrong portal. Perhaps this had been a trick. Maybe she was stuck in time. The place did seem old and new at the same time.
Paris wasn’t sure what she had expected when arriving at Happily Ever After College. Maybe a welcoming committee? There hadn’t been anyone to see her off, so she didn’t know why she expected anyone to be there when she arrived.
Sighing heavily, Paris started for the front door, deciding that she’d have to investigate on her own.
As soon as she took off, Faraday scampered along beside her. She paused and pointed at a nearby tree.
“Why don’t you make a nest there?” she offered.
The squirrel halted too. He peered up at the tree, then at Paris, and back again. “I’m not the nest type. Or the tree type, for that matter.”
“H
ow come I didn’t guess that?” she muttered dryly.
“You really should have.” He snickered. “Anyway, I hoped to stay with you.”
“Look,” she began heavily, “you asked to tag along to this place. You didn’t say anything about attaching yourself to my hip.”
“No, you’re right, I did not,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I don’t think either of us would like such an arrangement.”
Paris grunted in frustration, then sighed again. “Are you always so literal?”
“Only when I’m not.”
Paris nodded and chewed on her lip. “If you don’t sleep in trees, where were you planning to stay?” She pointed at the dark woods on the other side of the mansion. “How about you find a hole or something in there?”
He shivered, obviously sensing the same foreboding quality emanating from the woods as she did. “I don’t think so. How about I sleep in your sock drawer? It’s not bamboo sheets, but I’m sure it will do. I don’t take up much space, and I’m as quiet as an oscillating current that’s—”
“Quiet as a mouse,” she interrupted. “That’s how the phrase goes.”
“The mice I’ve been around aren’t that quiet,” he contradicted. “Especially if they can’t get to the cheese at the end of the maze.”
Paris’ frowned. “I’ll pretend you said something that makes logical sense coming from a squirrel.”
“So what do you say?” Faraday gave her an expectant look. “Can I stay with you? I promise not to be a problem. I’ll help when I can. I can be a great problem-solver. And my mission was to study the college and its unique ways after all.”
Paris considered the strange squirrel again. There was something about him that was incredibly intriguing. Also, he made her laugh. Maybe that wasn’t his goal, but a squirrel who was allergic to nuts and had seasonal allergies was entertaining. Paris thought her morale could use the boost. If Faraday ended up being a problem, well, she’d make a stew out of him.
“Fine,” she finally relented. “But I tend to draw enough attention to myself without having a strange talking squirrel at my side. So stay out of sight and behave yourself. No dumping puddings on students’ heads or anything else mischievous.”