by Sarah Noffke
Paris’ heart sank when a sad look covered the mousey woman’s face.
All the other students had looked up to watch the commotion. However, Chef Ash clapped sternly. “Get back to work. Nothing to see here.”
Paris was careful not to look toward the flour and sugar bags where she suspected the zonk was hiding.
“Did you see a zonk fly in here?” Professor Butcher demanded.
Chef Ash scratched his head, appearing confused. “Nope. If it did, it snuck by me. Paris and I were focused on her apple pie.”
Professor Butcher narrowed her eyes at Paris. “Oh, so you didn’t elect to test out of this class because you were too good for it, then?”
Paris shook her head. “No, I think I’ll like magical cooking and baking. Chef Ash is a great instructor. Really supportive and not at all condescending.”
Anger flared on the professor’s face, but Paris didn’t care. Shannon Butcher was proving to be a bully. She’d outed Paris in her first class for being a criminal that her uncle got her into the college and now she was bullying Penny, threatening to kick her out of the college for losing a fixer fairy. Paris had never seen a fairy known as a zonk but had heard they were helpful to have around since they found problems and took it upon themselves to repair them using creative solutions. They were really ugly too, which was not something that most races of fairies had a problem with—being the prettier magical race usually.
Prowling around the perimeter of the room, Professor Butcher gave Penny a murderous expression. “When I find that missing zonk, you’re going to have to pack your bags, Ms. Pullman.”
Penny’s glasses fogged up as tears streamed down her cheeks. Professor Butcher was nearing the area where the zonk was hiding behind the bag of flour and sugar.
“Really,” Chef Ash began in an even tone. “I can’t allow such distractions in my classroom. I’ll keep an eye out for the zonk, but I think you two should return to your class.”
“Oh, be quiet, Cook!” Professor Butcher spat, her face red. “Leave real teaching matters to the real instructors.”
Paris nearly went off on the fairy godmother right then, but Chef Ash glanced at her, his expression seeming to say, “Don’t.”
Professor Butcher was poking her head into the shelves full of mixers, looking into large bowls and behind big canisters of spices. She was close to where the zonk had disappeared.
Paris glanced at Penny when the fairy godmother pushed aside some pots and pans on the shelf, still searching. Discreetly, Paris indicated where she suspected the zonk was hiding. Penny’s eyes widened with obvious worry. It was only a matter of time before Professor Butcher arrived at that spot.
Probably sensing the angry woman was about to find its hiding spot, the zonk stuck its head out from behind the back, looking back and forth with a jerking motion. The fairy was ugly with large dark eyes and sharp teeth. It didn’t look like the helpful fairy that it was supposed to be, but it also appeared terrified of the stomping professor who was about to pluck it from its hiding spot.
Maybe catching the movement out of her peripheral vision, Professor Butcher straightened, her gaze flying in the direction of where the zonk was hiding. She was right in front of the cooling shelf, only a few paces from the bag of flour where the zonk had disappeared once more.
Paris knew they were out of options. Desperate situations called for drastic actions. Making an impromptu decision, Paris subtly flicked her finger and made her cooled apple pie slide off the shelf, tumble through the air, and land directly on Professor Butcher’s head.
Chapter Forty-Eight
The apple pie filling oozed down Professor Shannon Butcher’s head and face as she screamed, earning everyone's attention. The commotion did as Paris had intended and gave Penny the chance to race over and scoop up the hiding zonk, sliding it into the inside pocket of her blue gown. She was smart too and disguised her actions by pretending to run over to the professor who was still screaming and now wiping apple pie off her face.
“Are you okay, Professor?” Penny asked, vibrating from nerves and all the excitement.
The students all seemed to be hiding their laughter as they stared in disbelief at the dramatic situation that kept getting more entertaining. Chef Ash also appeared to be hiding his reaction, which was shock mixed with amusement.
Paris couldn’t believe that in two days, she’d dumped a whole pie onto two different people’s heads. Only she would get herself into such trouble so quickly.
“You!” Professor Butcher roared, pointing her finger to Paris. “You did this, didn’t you! You knocked that pie off the shelf and onto my head, didn’t you?”
Paris kept her face neutral and shook her head. “I think you knocked into the shelf, professor. In your haste to find the zonk, which I don’t think is in here.”
“Chef, what did you see?” the fairy godmother demanded.
He crossed his arms over his chest, pursing his lips while he thought. “I don’t know. So much was happening at once.”
“Oh, this is ridiculous!” Professor Butcher yelled. She snapped her fingers, conjuring a dry towel to wipe the dripping apple pie filling off her face. She still wore a crown of pie crust on her frizzy hair. “I know this was you, Paris.”
“Why would I do that?” Paris countered.
“I don’t know,” the fairy godmother seethed. “But this reeks of something you’d do. You’ve been in trouble since you got here. Why am I not surprised? You belong in jail or Tooth Fairy College. Not here.”
Paris shivered. She’d rather go to jail than tooth fairy college.
“Professor,” Penny began in a small voice. “Can I help you get cleaned up?”
“No!” the woman screamed, her face blossoming red. “Penny, if and when I find that missing zonk, you’re leaving this college too.” She rounded back on Paris. “First of all, I’m going to take care of you. The headmistress will hear about this as soon as I get this…this…” She picked out the crust in her strands, eyeing it. “Whatever this is out of my hair.”
“Apple pie,” Chef Ash supplied. “I thought it was going to be quite good, but now we won’t know and can’t grade you on it, Paris.”
“Well, you could take a forkful off Professor Butcher’s face,” Paris offered, hiding her laugh.
The fairy godmother fisted her hands by her side. “You won’t do any such thing. No one is eating pie off my face! Ever!” With that, the angry woman stomped out of the classroom, leaving a trail of apple pie in her wake.
Penny looked up at Paris, then to her gown as the zonk tried to get loose again. Before Paris could ask if she was okay, Penny fled for the door, her face full of embarrassment.
Paris shook her head and looked at Chef Ash with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for that. Thanks for covering for me.”
“Covering for you?” he asked. “I didn’t see a thing. She might have knocked into the shelf. I had my eye on that darn zonk.” The chef winked at Paris with a knowing look in his eyes. “I’m glad Professor Butcher didn’t find it. Otherwise, Penny would be gone. She’s been gunning to get her kicked out of Happily Ever After College forever, and the girl is down to her last strike.”
Paris let out a breath of relief. “Well, then I’m glad too, but I’ve obviously failed the grading for your class today.”
He nodded, remorse on his face. “I’m sorry, it’s true. I can’t sign off on your full performance without having graded the taste of the pie. Don’t worry, you have the final exam tonight, and if you do well on that, it will make up for this.”
Paris sighed. “Let’s hope because surprisingly, I don’t really want to leave here. This place is strange and backward, but I want time to understand it better.”
He smiled at her. “I like that you’re open-minded like that, although I get that you’re different than most of our students, and fitting in here doesn’t come naturally to you.”
She nodded, twisting her mouth to the side. “Yeah, I’d guess none of t
he other students have thrown pies on two people’s heads in such a short period.”
“I don’t think anyone ever has, to be honest.” He chuckled. “You’re going to get quite the reputation. If you stick around after tonight, I’ll always be sure to make extra pies.”
Chapter Forty-Nine
Willow Starr had half of her face covered with her hands, cringing as she replayed what she and Mae Ling had seen while spying on the magical cooking and baking class from out on the patio. The pair had disguised themselves to look like statues next to the Serenity Gardens so they could watch Paris Westbridge without being noticed.
Coming to life once more and taking on her usual appearance, Willow shook her head. “I can’t believe she threw another pie on someone’s head.”
Mae Ling’s brown eyes sparkled with amusement. “We both know that Shannon deserved what she got. She’s so mean to Penny and unfair to many students who she thinks don’t belong here.”
“It’s true that she thinks only the crème de la crème of students should be allowed entry to Happily Ever After College,” Willow admitted. “But I think she tries to offer some unique expertise.”
“I think that it’s in your nature to see the best in everyone,” Mae Ling countered.
“Regardless.” Willow let out a deep sigh. “Paris hasn’t made this easy on us. She’s under the grade after that performance. Everything will rely on her exam tonight, and she needs to have an exemplary score. Otherwise, my hands are tied, and I’ll have to send her back.”
“She did make the pie and didn’t rely on magic,” Mae Ling stated.
“Without tasting it, there’s no passable grade.” Willow shook her head. “It’s regrettable because it was nice watching her today. She doesn’t have a healthy respect for rules, but she also has her brand of magic and could do great things here.”
“She seems to like it,” Mae Ling offered.
“I thought so too.” Willow smiled. “We’ll have to see how she does tonight. I hope she makes a true love match. One can’t rely on magic to be a fairy godmother. At the end of the day, someone who will promote love has to have a lot of heart, and that’s what the test will prove.”
Chapter Fifty
Paris should have expected all the whispers and looks when she entered the dining hall for dinner, but it would take some getting used to. The sad reality, she thought, was that she wouldn’t have a chance to get used to it because it didn’t seem likely that she’d pass as Headmistress Starr said was necessary for her to stay at Happily Ever After College.
Not at all hungry but knowing that she needed to eat before her final exam, Paris filled her plate with crispy chicken tenders, green beans, and French fries. She got more than a few looks for taking a second heaping pile of green beans, one of her favorite vegetables. She reminded herself that fairy godmothers in training were encouraged not to fill up on green vegetables so they didn’t spoil their appetite for dessert.
“You’ve now made two pie heads.” Hemingway slid into the chair next to Paris. She was about to reply when Christine took the seat on the other side of her.
“I heard that Chef Ash refuses to make pie anymore after the incidents,” she said in a conspiratorial whisper.
“That’s exactly why you shouldn’t listen to the gossip mill around this place.” Chef Ash took the seat directly across from them and winked at Paris. “I’m thinking of doubling the pie quota now.”
“Why pies?” Christine asked. “Do you come from a family of clowns?”
“Not that I know of.” Paris laughed and sipped her water, her ears hot from all the attention. “They were what was available at the moment.”
“I like it.” Hemingway tore his bread into pieces and took a bite. “Pies are soft and sweet and don’t cause much damage.”
“You could have chosen something much more dangerous,” Chef Ash offered.
“Yeah, like a candlestick or a wrench,” Christine whispered while looking around the table. Most attention was on the foursome, mainly because of Paris in their midst.
“What is this? A game of Clue?” Paris laughed. “I’m not Madam Peacock killing people in the library.”
“No, but you’re getting the retribution that we’ve all longed for,” Christine said longingly.
“Well, we will see,” Paris said in a low voice. “My impulsive behavior might have gotten me kicked out. We’ll wait and see. Any clues you all can give me about the exam?”
“You’re a special case,” Chef Ash answered. “This isn’t a typical orientation day for a student, so no, I’m not aware of how they’re testing you.”
“Follow your instinct, and I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Hemingway offered.
Christine snickered, “If all else fails, throw a pie at your problems.”
Paris sighed. “I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight. This has been the longest day in the history of days.”
Hemingway nodded. “I love sleep. My life tends to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?”
She tilted her head at him. “It does? I didn’t take you as the train wreck type.”
He laughed. “It’s a quote from Ernest Hemingway—the real Hemingway. I like to throw them into conversations now and again.”
“You’re as real a Hemingway as he was,” Paris corrected. “Have you read all of his books since you’re his namesake?”
“What type of man would it make me if I hadn’t read a book written by the man I’m named after?” He popped a piece of bread into his mouth.
“Yeah, I don’t know.”
“No, seriously.” He laughed. “That’s the type of man I am. I’m the guy named after Hemingway who has never read one of his books. I’ve tried, but they aren’t for me. I can never get into them.”
“But you quoted him,” Paris argued.
“Yeah, that’s right,” he affirmed. “I’ve researched him and like his one-liners. He has some insightful quotes I like to throw into conversations when they fit, but I’ve never been able to get through one of his books. I’ll keep trying.”
Paris nodded. “I can understand. Not until today could I read a book. Now I’ve read three almost.”
“In one day?” He gave her that look of surprise like before in the greenhouse.
Again Paris felt like he didn’t believe her. Deciding deflecting was better, she said, “If it makes you feel better, I’m named Paris, and I’ve never been there.”
He scratched his head. “Why not portal there?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t get a chance to leave Roya Lane much before this. My uncle is pretty protective. Plus I was always afraid of the trouble I’d find if I went off on my own.”
Hemingway laughed at this. “It does seem to follow you around. I understand. I’ve never traveled. Haven’t been outside of Happily Ever After College.”
“Really?” she asked. “You were born here?”
He nodded. “Yeah, and what better place to grow up and live than in this bubble? Besides, traveling is more fun when you have someone to do it with.”
Suddenly Paris sensed a loneliness in Hemingway and knew there was a complicated story behind his upbringing at Happily Ever After College. It didn’t seem right to pry right then, not knowing him that well. However, she hoped that today wasn’t her last at the college and she’d get a chance to learn more about him. Paris hoped she could learn more about many at the college and several of the subjects. Everything rested on the final exam.
Chapter Fifty-One
“Good thing that packing won’t take much time.” Paris looked out the open window at the Enchanted Grounds from her bedroom. The sun was setting, and the stars were twinkling in the clear, cloudless sky.
“That sounds like a defeatist mentality.” Faraday nibbled on the cheese and cracker plate that Paris had gotten for him from the kitchen.
She glanced over her shoulder at the squirrel, grimacing at the many crumbs he was getting into the sock drawer. “I’m just mentally trying to prepare.”<
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“I find,” he began while eating the crackers like a beaver sawing down logs for their dam, “that what we prepare ourselves for becomes our reality. If you want something to happen, then you set yourself up for that to inevitably happen.”
Paris shook her head. “Sorry, but my life has never been that fairytale thing. I’m realistic, and it’s doubtful that I’ll pass the exam with a high enough grade to make up for my performances today in classes.”
“Because you challenged your first instructor, testing out of her class and insulting the curriculum, or is it because you argued with the astrology instructor?” He cocked his head, his large eyes full of curiosity.
“How do you know about that?” Paris blinked at him.
“Well, I have good ears, and the incident in Cotillion class was all over the school by mid-morning,” he explained. “Then I was using the telescope in the observatory during the astrology class in the auditorium, and I overheard the whole exchange.”
“Why were you, a squirrel, using a telescope?” Paris questioned.
Faraday crammed a whole cracker into his mouth. “There wasz somein’ shiny inside it got my attention,” he said while chewing, as crumbs flew from his lips.
Paris shook his head. “You’re such a strange squirrel. What did you do today?”
“Nothing,” he chirped.
“Yeah, playing with huge telescopes and listening to gossip around the college sounds like nothing,” she muttered.
“Do you think that because you cheated in the gardening class or tossed your pie at Professor Butcher is why you’ll flunk out of Happily Ever After College?” he asked,
She looked back out the window at the pristine grounds. “How do you know about either one of those incidents? The one in the greenhouse shouldn’t be the topic of gossip since no one but Hemingway and I were aware of it.”
“Would you believe me if I told you I spied on the events when I was foraging in the back of the greenhouse?”