Voyeurism

by Chaun Johnson

  Despite Xandra’s resistance to a relationship she was drawn to Yvette’s charm and swag. Once Yvette started to look at Xandra as more than just a classmate, she began to display her feelings through her actions. She started bringing Xandra her favorite Starbuck’s drink to class without being asked, texting and calling not just regarding their presentation, and eventually asking her out on a date. By the end of their Senior year they were officially an item and was known around campus as the lesbian version of Will and Jada.

  After graduation, they both landed lucrative careers with marketing firms in Atlanta and decided it was destined they stay together and make the move. Within a couple of years of moving to Atlanta and getting settled into their careers they purchased a home in Buckhead. Xandra was shocked when Yvette proposed to her on their third anniversary. They were married a year later.

  Xandra and Yvette had discussed the possibility of having children throughout their relationship, but the discussion had really become more serious for Xandra within the last year because she had just turned 34 and felt like her biological clock was about to run out. This realization is what brought them to seek out the help of Andrea because they had been battling an ongoing issue since early in their relationship that Yvette was not be willing to endure if they brought a child into the world.

  Yvette repositioned herself on the couch and leaned forward.

  “I think we are coming to an impasse Ms. Charles and I really feel very strongly about this. Xandra is ready to start our journey to parenthood, but I refuse to do it if she continues to sleep with other people. I do not want that kind of environment or energy around my children.” Yvette stated with authority.

  “Ms. Charles, you have to understand I have never brought another woman into our home. Yvette knew and understood when we got together that I enjoyed variety. She said that she was fine with an open relationship as long as she knew what was going on and there was complete honesty.” Xandra interjected.

  “That is all fine but when you have children it should be different. Besides, it seems to me that this latest conquest is becoming a little more than just a little diversification.” Yvette said.

  Xandra repositioned looking a little uncomfortable.

  “Xandra, are you ok? Is there something you want to add?” Andrea inquired.

  “Why don’t you tell her about the last time we were together?” Yvette said.

  Xandra looked at Yvette and then back at Andrea. With a bit of a sigh, she obliged Yvette’s request. She proceeded to divulge the information regarding the latest person she had been seeing outside of her relationship and how it landed them where they are now.

  Xandra met Asia at work. Asia was an intern with their marketing program. Despite her being an intern, she was not as young as most would think because she had been to the military straight out of high school. After leaving the military, she returned home and went to college to obtain her degree in Marketing. After graduating she was accepted into the intern program at Xandra’s firm. On Asia’s first day she immediately grabbed Xandra’s attention. She was simply gorgeous. Asia had the body of a track star, short black hair cut into a bob, milk chocolate complexion, with gray eyes.

  “Hi, I’m Asia. Nice to meet you.”

  “Hello. Welcome. I look forward to working with you.” Yvette said before she could realize how forward that may sound.

  “Same here,” Asia responded smiling.

  Over time Xandra and Asia started taking their lunch together, they ended up exchanging numbers and began texting one another. As this continued they started getting to know one another better. During their interactions Xandra discovered Asia was also in a relationship with a woman. After a while they started flirting back and forth.

  The moment Xandra started feeling she was attracted to Asia, and also discovering she was a lesbian she let Yvette know all about Asia. She always maintained transparency with Yvette because she never wanted to violate her trust and she wanted to stay completely honest as she said she would do when she finally revealed to her that she liked variety.

  “She sounds cute,” Yvette said.

  “She is very pretty,” Xandra said downplaying her true thoughts of how gorgeous she thought Asia was.

  “Do you think you may want to go there with her?” Yvette asked.

  “Honestly, yes. I have thought about what it would be like to be with her.” Xandra responded honestly.

  “Ok. You know the rules, so I trust you.” Yvette said kissing Xandra.

  “Of course, I do.”

  Xandra and Yvette had laid out grown rules so that Yvette could feel safe and secure with Xandra wanting to satisfy her desires when necessary. The rules were as follows:

  Any prospects are required to be tested for all STDs including HIV/AIDS. If they refused, they were immediately no longer a prospect.

  Xandra had to inform Yvette about any prospect BEFORE any physical activity takes place.

  No overnight stays.

  No sexual activity with the prospect in their home.

  At any point Xandra began to have any serious feelings for the other person she needed to inform Yvette.

  At any point Yvette wanted the connection to be disconnected, Xandra had to comply with the request.

  After this discussion, Xandra was interested to see how Asia would respond to her desire to be with her on an intimate level. The next day while Xandra and Asia were having lunch in the company’s café area she figured this would be a good time as any. She wanted to address it face to face because she did not feel like this was a conversation to have over the phone or through text, especially since Asia was also involved with someone.

  “So, I have a question for you,” Xandra said.

  “What’s that? I hope it’s not work related. I am on lunch.” Asia responded jokingly.

  “It’s definitely not work related. What would you say if I said I wanted to taste you?” Xandra asked looking Asia directly in her eyes seductively.

  Asia choked on the water she was drinking and almost spit it across the table at Xandra.

  “Are you serious?” Asia asked in shock.

  “Very much so,” Xandra responded.

  “Wow. I am shocked. But in a good way. I guess I thought the feelings I was having wouldn’t be reciprocated. I felt silly even thinking about you in that way.” Asia said with a sigh of relief.

  “Well, if it is something you are interested in there are some rules involved. As you know, I am married and my wife is fully aware of my thoughts and desires.”

  Asia’s mouth fell open in disbelief.

  Xandra continued, “Would you like to hear what they are?”

  Asia paused for a moment taking in everything Xandra had already shared.

  “Sure. What are they?” Asia asked.

  Xandra went over the rules with Asia and then asked her if she had any questions. Asia stated she had no questions and understood them all.

  After that lunch conversation, a couple of weeks went by. Asia’s test results came back negative for all STDs, and the two had decided to work half day and spend the second part of the day together. They decided to go to a hotel close to their firm so they would be able to shower and be comfortable.

  Xandra had already had the discussion with Yvette about everything that was transpiring, so her conscience was clear, and she had no concerns. Asia, on the other hand, was not as forthcoming with her partner, so she was constantly checking the time and her phone to ensure she departed at the same time she normally left work or also not to miss any communication from her partner.

  The two arrived at the hotel about fifteen minutes apart. Xandra was the first to arrive so she had already checked in and was in the room by the time Asia arrived. She heard a low knock at the door and let Asia in. She was standing there looking a little nervous but sexy at the same time.

  “I was wondering if you had a change of heart,” Xandra said as she stepped to the side and allowed Asia to enter the room.

&n
bsp; “No. My girl called as I was driving over, so I had to talk to her for a little while before letting her know I had to go and get ready for a meeting.” Asia said using air quotes when she got to the word “meeting.”

  “I understand.”

  Asia came in and sat in the black office chair at the small desk in the room. As Asia turned to see where Xandra was, she was standing in front of her. Xandra kneeled in front of Asia and caressed her cheek.

  “Are you sure you’re ok and you’re ready for this?” Xandra asked,

  Asia grabbed Xandra’s face and pulled her close and began to kiss her softly. Xandra’s body immediately reacted to the softness of Asia’s thick lips. Her lips parted and their tongues started to dance with one another. Asia parted her legs allowing Xandra to be able to move closer to her as they continued to kiss.

  Xandra stood up and held out her hand beckoning Asia to come with her. They both went into the bathroom and undressed before climbing into the shower.

  “Your body is even more beautiful than what I imagined.” Xandra said as she lathered up Asia’s body.

  “Thank you,” Asia responded smiling.

  As they washed one another, they shared tender kisses on their lips and other places as they rinsed off. Asia climbed into the King-sized bed and gestured Xandra to join her with her finger. Xandra climbed into the bed and straddled Asia’s lap. She ran her hands over Asia’s breasts and played with her nipples until they became erect. She took them into her mouth, sucked and teased them with her tongue. Asia began to moan and caress Xandra’s plump round ass as she played with her breasts.

  Xandra continued until Asia begged her to taste her juices. Asia repositioned until she was laying flat on her back. She placed a pillow under her pelvis to allow Xandra to gain better access to her. Xandra kneeled in front of Asia admiring her fit and toned physique. She began to place kisses on Asia’s legs as she made her way to her calves, then to her thighs. She parted her legs gently and kissed her bikini line as she continued to tease Asia bringing her to the brink of insanity with the desire to reach ecstasy.

  Xandra finally gave in and began to please Asia. She continued to lick and suck on Asia’s pleasure spot until she was brought to climax. Over the next couple of hours, Xandra and Asia alternated pleasing one another and found themselves in various positions. Utilizing every part of the room, including the office chair, the desk, and window sill. Once the time arrived for Asia to leave she did not want to go.

  “This afternoon was mind-blowing. You made my body feel things that I’ve never felt before.” Asia said as she freshened up and got dressed.

  “Really? So, I take it you will want to do this again?” Xandra asked.

  “Without a doubt,” Asia responded.

  The two kissed one last time before Asia departed.

  “See you at work in the morning.” Asia said as the door closed behind her.

  Xandra and Asia continued meeting one another for their rendezvous’ several times a week. They both introduced one another to different things. Asia introduced Xandra to different sex toys, Xandra introduced Asia to different positions and multiple orgasms. The communication between the two became more frequent in and out of work.

  One evening after they had finished making love, Yvette and Xandra were laying in the bed talking.

  “So, what is going on with you and Asia?” Yvette asked.

  Xandra buried her face in Yvette’s shoulder as they cuddled to hide the fact she was blushing. She had started to have feelings for Asia, but she did not think they were serious enough that she had to inform Yvette. Based on the rules, she knew that if Yvette got wind of the fact she was starting to feel for Asia, she might exercise her authority to have her discontinue the relationship. That was something Xandra absolutely did not want to do.

  “Not a whole lot. It’s cool. We’ve spent some time together.” Xandra responded elusively.

  “Is the sex good?” Yvette probed.

  “It is pretty good. She works out, so she is a little ball of energy sometimes.” Xandra joked.

  “How long do you think it’s going to last?” Yvette insisted.

  “You have a lot of questions. Everything ok?” Xandra said trying to hide her irritation.

  “Am I overstepping boundaries for you? You’ve never had an issue with talking about anyone else, why does this seem different? What has always made this work was the transparency, and the open lines of communication. Honestly, I have noticed a shift in your behavior whether you realize it or not. There have even been times when I have called your office and no one could find you. So, if we are getting to a place where this open relationship agreement cannot be upheld, then we may need to make some changes sooner rather than later” Yvette stated sternly referencing what they discussed about ending the arrangement before kids.

  Xandra sat up with a look of shock in her face. She had no idea Yvette was aware of the afternoons away from the office, the numerous phone conversations she has had with Asia, and the change in her feelings. She started to think what people used to tell her about your partner knowing you better than you know yourself sometimes could be true. Xandra looked down at her hands as she rubbed her palms back and forth nervously like she did when she was embarking on a difficult conversation.

  “I may feel a little something for her. But it is not going to cause an issue with you and I honey…I promise.” Xandra insisted.

  “Is that so?” Yvette asked.

  Yvette rose from the bed and found some basketball shorts and a T-shirt to put on.

  “Baby don’t be upset. I was never trying to keep anything from you. It is not as bad as you think it is. Seriously, it is just something to do…something fun…something different.” Xandra pleaded.

  “Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” Yvette said as she put on her house shoes and walked out of their bedroom.

  Xandra sat on the edge of the bed for a moment trying to decide what to say next and how she thought this was going to play out. She did not have an inkling of doubt in her mind about not wanting to lose her wife. However, at the same time, she was trying to quantify her feelings for Asia. She really enjoyed her on multiple levels outside of the intimacy they shared. Asia was like a refreshing glass of water on a balmy summer day. She was able to be free with Asia and allow her inhibitions to fall away. She was catapulted back into the present when she heard one of the cabinet doors close hard in the kitchen.

  She leapt from the bed and retrieved her satin robe from her closet. Taking a few deep breaths and steadying her hands, Xandra exited the bedroom to find Yvette sitting on one of the bar stools at the island in the kitchen. She had served herself some fresh fruit and was scrolling through her Facebook timeline.

  “Can we finish talking?” Xandra said as she sat on the bar stool next to Yvette.

  Yvette continued scrolling her Facebook timeline for a few moments before looking up and responding.

  “If you are ready to be honest and have a for real conversation.”

  “Why do you think I am not…” Xandra started but was interrupted.

  “Stop. Xandra I am not going to do this with you. Again, if you are ready to have a real conversation, then we can talk, if not we have nothing else to say tonight.”

  Xandra sat and played with her hands. “I was afraid.”

  “Of what?”

  “Admitting that I lost control and I got wrapped up. I fell.”

  “Do you love her?”

  “That is not…”

  “DO YOU LOVE HER?” Yvette snapped stopping Xandra before she could finish her dismissive statement.

  “Yes.”

  “Are you in love with her?”

  “No. But I do feel like I have the ability to fall in love with her.”

  “So, what does that mean for us?”

  “It does not mean anything different for us. You are my wife, Yvette and that will never change. I apologize for keeping things from you and not being forthcoming about
everything that was going on. Honestly, I did not want to lose you, and I also did not want you to utilize your power to make me lose Asia.”

  Tears slowly started to fall down Xandra’s cheeks as she spoke the words. She had never been in this position before where her feelings were so strong for two people, and she could not see her life without either one of them.

  Yvette stood up and deposited her empty bowl and fork in the dishwasher. Taking a paper towel, she slowly wiped the water ring from the tan marbled granite island top where she was sitting. She waved her hand over the motion sensor on the garbage can and dropped the paper towel in when the lid opened. Xandra watched her every move waiting for a response, a reaction, some indication of where this conversation was about to go. Yvette walked over to Xandra, kissed her sweetly on her cheek.

  “Sounds to me you have some decisions to make. You need to figure out what you want and make it plain to all parties involved.” Yvette said.

  She then walked away, leaving Xandra with her thoughts. Xandra was stuck and watched Yvette as she disappeared into the bedroom and heard the water in the shower come on.

  Beep beep…beep beep…beep beep. Andrea’s alarm goes off, and she observes the body language of the ladies sitting across from her.

  Yvette was sitting with her body positioned away from Xandra leaning against the arm rest on her side of the couch. Xandra was sitting with her legs crossed, shoulders slumped, and head hanging in defeat. Andrea could tell this was a very difficult conversation for the two women and was bringing forth a lot of emotion.

  “Ladies I know our time is over for today. But I feel there is a lot of unfinished business that we are going to have to visit the next time around. Before you go, may I ask, Xandra, did you decide on what you want?” Andrea probed.

  She asked her so she could obtain enough information to prepare her for their next session together. Yvette sat up at attention waiting to hear the response Xandra was going to give.