by Louise, Tia
Noel lets out a scream. “Dove!”
Leon kills the engine, and we hear Akela’s whines, the click of her claws as she struggles to climb out of the rushing water.
Sawyer catches Noel around the waist before she can charge out onto the thin ice. Leon has a yellow, nylon rope he’s tying around the cage on the back of the ATV. It all feels like it’s taking too long, but we’re moving as fast as we can.
“It’s the best I could find.” His voice is ragged, and I wrap it several times around my arms as I start for the water.
Sawyer passes his sister to Leon. “Hold Noel.”
“No!” she screams, trying to break free.
“Let’s go.” I leave Sawyer behind, carefully walking as far as I can before dropping down to my belly to avoid breaking through.
My eyes blink rapidly and my heart is hammering in my chest. I see the dog, but it’s too dark. I can’t see if she’s there…
“Shine a light out here!” My voice is ragged with fear.
Straining my eyes, I look closer and see her little hand clutching Akela’s collar. Her face is pressed into the back of the dog’s fur, and Akela fights to hold onto the edge of the ice. Her nails scratch, and her voice is weak, failing.
“Good girl, Akela… Good girl.” I have to stay calm. “Dove, can you hear me? Dove!”
Her head doesn’t move, and I turn, sliding backward toward them. I’m almost to the edge. I can’t break this ice or we’ll all go under, we could lose them both.
The water hits my legs and it cuts like a knife it’s so cold. I know from training to stay calm when the cold hits, but hypothermia is my bigger fear. I don’t know how long they’ve been out here. Sliding to the side, my hand makes contact with Akela’s paw.
“I’ve got you. I’ve got you, girl.” My voice is controlled panic, calm with an edge. “Almost there.”
“Tie the rope around her!” Sawyer yells from halfway back.
He’s staying back, knowing too much weight could cause the whole surface to give. There’s no way Leon and Noel could get us all out of here. With the temperature of this water, we’d freeze to death in minutes, which has me terrified now.
As I’m looking, I see her small hand lose its grip on the dog. “Dove!” I shout louder. “Hang on to Akela, Dove, Daddy’s coming!”
I lunge in panic, and it’s a critical error. The ice breaks. My large hand closes around her small one when it all goes, and we’re hit like a freight train with the full force of the frozen water.
The last thing I hear is Noel’s scream.
31
Noel
It sounds like a tree limb breaking in two, or a gunshot at close range.
The entire surface of the reservoir cracks open, and Sawyer hits his stomach, still holding the rope. Taron disappears into the black along with my daughter and my dog. I drop to my knees screaming.
The tornado touches down in my chest again, spiraling and ripping through my insides. It’s tearing my heart out, and I don’t have time to take shelter.
Leon releases me, dashing to help his brother.
“Do you have them?” His voice is more of a scream.
“I don’t know!” Sawyer scrambles to his feet, grabbing the rope again.
Akela’s head is the first above the water. She dog-paddles against the current, but she’s losing the race. She’s a cold-climate dog, but we don’t know how long she’s been in this stream.
Taron’s head comes up next, and he clutches Dove against his chest. “Hu-hurry!” It’s a loud noise like a cough or a growl. Splashes behind him, and I can see he’s kicking his legs.
Leon runs to the three-wheeler and shoves the starter down, then he starts to move it forward slowly. The rope goes taut, and Sawyer puts it under his arm, carefully guiding it, pulling them out.
Taron’s upper body rises higher. I see the rope wrapped multiple times around his forearm, and he’s holding our daughter against his chest, doing his best to keep her out of the water.
I’m on all fours, clutching my hands together and praying. Every muscle in my body is tense as I watch them fight the icy currents.
Horns honk behind us, and the noise of a siren seems far away. My vision is tunneled as my entire life plays out before me.
“God, please!” I pray again, my voice a screaming cry. “Help us!”
It all goes into slow motion when it happens. The knot slips or Taron’s grip slips.
“Leon! Stop!” Sawyer yells at my younger brother when the yellow rope goes slack.
The siren is loud now, cutting across the field as EMS races to the scene. A swarm of workers surrounds me. A large man grabs me, wrapping a blanket around my body and pulling me back.
“No!” I try to struggle and fight him, but my arms are pinned beneath the canvas.
“We have to move fast!” A woman yells, and they carry yellow body boards out onto the ice. “How many are there?”
“Two and a dog!” Sawyer shouts.
Lights flash, blinding me. I can’t see what’s happening. I’m shoved into a cop car, and a woman puts a plastic thermos in my hand. “Drink this.”
“Let me out… It’s my daughter!” I’m frantic, trying to get back to them.
“They’re going to be okay. We’re getting them out. We’ll get them to the hospital. Please stay calm.”
I can’t see what’s happening. Tears blind my eyes, and I strain, trying to see what they’re doing through all the commotion. So many people are here… they’re all working fast, and I hear something that sounds like a motor. Men shouting.
Panic constricts my lungs, and I want to help. I want to know what’s going on. I need to see my daughter, Taron.
“Help, please—” I barely have the words out when three doors slam.
The ambulance shoots off into the night, and we follow in a caravan of lights.
“We came as soon as we heard.” Mrs. Jenny and Mindy run up the narrow hallway to where I’m standing outside the doors of the Emergency Room with my brothers.
“What’s happening?” My best friend takes my hand.
“Don’t know yet.” Sawyer’s arm is around me, but I haven’t stopped shaking since we left the house. “Dove is unconscious. They think she’s suffering from cold water shock. Taron was with us all the way until the last break. I think the ice hit him…”
“Lord, no.” Mrs. Jenny steps forward, pulling me into a hug.
Up to now I’ve been completely numb, as if I’d fallen into the icy waters, but with the breakdown of my long-time pillar of strength, I feel my insides collapse. The weight of this is more than I can bear.
“I can’t lose them.” My voice is a broken whisper.
She clears her throat, clutching my shoulders and holding me straight. “You’re not going to. The Lord said he wouldn’t give us more than we can bear.”
My eyes are wide and dry. I’ve run out of tears, but it doesn’t mean I’m not dying inside. The hospital door opens, and a young man in blue scrubs strides out.
“LaGrange?”
“That’s us.” Sawyer steps forward quickly.
“Which one of you is the mother.”
Everyone puts their hands on me, and I step up. “That’s me.”
He looks at the five of us huddled in a group—Sawyer, Leon, Mrs. Jenny, Mindy, and me. “I take it you’re all family?”
Mrs. Jenny extends a pleading hand. “Yes, please tell us what’s happening.”
“She’s stable. Her vitals are strong…”
“Oh, thank you, Jesus.” We collectively exhale.
“But she’s in a state of posttraumatic unconsciousness. We’re monitoring her, but I’m concerned she suffered a lack of oxygen to the brain while she was in the water.”
My chest feels hollowed out. I start to fall forward, but my older brother holds me. “What does that mean?” Sawyer’s voice is grave.
The doctor’s lips press together. “It could mean anything. We won’t know until she regai
ns consciousness.”
I’m having trouble breathing. My throat is tight. Mrs. Jenny pulls me into a hug while my brother talks to the doctor.
“How long will she be like this?”
“I don’t know, but we’re moving her to a room. Hopefully hearing her mother’s voice, talking to her will bring her around. It’s a waiting game now. I’ll have the nurse show you back.”
“Thank you, doctor.” Leon’s voice calls after him.
My brother helps my friend lower me into a blue vinyl chair. “We’ll sit with her. We’ll talk to her, and she’s going to wake up.” Mrs. Jenny’s voice is confident. “You know how chatty she is. She’ll want to join the conversation.”
I don’t know what I know. My shoulders ache, and I feel all hope slipping away from me. “What about Taron?” I sound hoarse. “Did they tell us anything about him?”
“Last I heard, he was being treated for a head wound—”
“I officially have a hard head.” His low, rich voice is like a balm to my aching insides.
My hand trembles as I reach out, and he’s with me, in front of me, holding me in his strong embrace. “Taron.” I can barely speak. “You’re okay.”
He leans back and catches my eyes. A small bandage is above his left temple and an ugly purple bruise is on his left cheek, but he’s warm and alive. He slides his hand under my arm and helps me stand. “I had her with me the whole time. I don’t know what happened when the ice broke… I lost consciousness briefly.”
“You saved your daughter’s life.” Mrs. Jenny reaches out to pull him into a firm hug. “I always knew you were a good man. You proved it tonight.”
“LaGrange family?” Our circle opens for a young nurse in khaki scrubs. “I can take two of you back to see Dove. Are her parents here?”
“That’s us.” Taron holds my hand, and we follow her down the quiet corridor, past doors decorated with paper balloons and animals.
I don’t want to think about the torture of being forced to stay here indefinitely waiting. I can’t let my mind go to what that would ultimately mean.
“Here we are.” The nurse leads us into a dark room where my baby lies on a large bed surrounded by beeping machines and a ventilator.
“Oh, no.” I whisper, but Taron keeps me standing.
We’re left alone, and I go to her bedside. Her golden hair is around her face in damp waves, but her beautiful eyes are shut. A clear tube is in her nose, and her little chest is moving.
“She’s not on the ventilator.” Taron stands behind me, speaking softly. “That has to be a good sign. It’s like she’s sleeping.”
“Dove?” My voice is louder. “Mamma’s here. Please wake up.”
Silence is my only reply.
Silence and the noise of beeping machines.
I blink worried eyes up to her father, and his face is solemn. He’s watching her little body, waiting as helpless as me for any sign she’s still in there. Any indication she’s going to come back.
The doctor says the first twenty-four hours are critical. He tells us if she’s unconscious longer than that, the risk of brain damage increases dramatically.
My heart can’t unclench. It’s tight as a fist in my chest, and as much as I want to believe Mrs. Jenny’s words, I have to get up and walk around.
Taron is the opposite. He’s at her side, his large hand under her small one, watching her little face and waiting.
“Hey, baby girl. Time to wake up.” The smallest crack enters his voice and splinters my heart.
“Oh, Taron.” I put my hands on his shoulders as the tears heat my eyes.
He doesn’t take his eyes off her. He only waits, holding her hand.
32
Taron
Sleeping Beauty. Our first conversation was about the story of that prince. He was in a dungeon and then he had to fight through thorns and slay a dragon…
I said I’d cut through thorns and slay a dragon for her.
“Wake up, Dove. It’s Daddy. We need to practice your dance for Princess Peach.”
Silence…
I’ve been in combat.
I’ve gone up against drug lords.
Hell, I survived Marine boot camp, but nothing like this.
Her pretty little face is so still and calm. It’s like she’s only sleeping, but she won’t open her eyes. She’s somewhere we can’t reach her, and the helplessness is overwhelming.
After twenty-four hours, they’ll have to intubate her. It’s like the point of no return, throwing in the towel, and waiting for the end to come.
My chest aches. I can still see the moment she walked away from me in the store. It’s so clear in my mind. My heart said to stop her.
Why did I let her go?
Noel can’t sit still. She’s nervous and panicky, and her hands won’t stop shaking. I try to hold her, and she lets me for a little while. Then she has to move again.
I want to give her my strength, but I feel it draining out of me just as fast.
It’s like being on watch. I study her dark lashes lightly touching her soft cheeks. My ears strain for the sound of her breathing. I want to hear her voice again.
She said my name at least a thousand times, but still it wasn’t enough. I haven’t had enough time with her. Please, God… Don’t let this be my punishment…
“I think I’ll go to the chapel.” Noel touches my arm. “Maybe if I pray…”
I lift her hand and kiss the top of it. “Sounds like a good idea.”
I can’t leave her side. If she opens her eyes, I have to be here. When I was in the water, I had her in my arms. I felt the life in her… I think I heard her say my name, and I was sure I’d get her out alive.
The ice broke, and I lost my hold.
Another hour slips past.
“Angelina, it’s Mr. Mouseling. Wake up so we can build a sled.”
Silence…
Another hour slips past.
Warm hands grasp my shoulders. “How are you doing?”
I look up to see Mindy’s mother standing over me, smiling kindly. “I’ll be a lot better when she wakes up. Where’s Noel?”
“She’s talking to Pastor Sinclair.” She puts her hand on Dove’s. “Come on, baby girl. Time to wake up.”
She seems so certain. I want to have that kind of faith, but I don’t.
“Noel has been through so much.” She gazes at my daughter while she speaks. “What she’s had to survive, the Lord gave her strength to survive. He won’t ask more of her than she can stand.”
Guilt weighs on me like a boulder. “I shouldn’t have come here.”
“What are you saying?” Her dark eyes meet mine.
“I’ve done things… bad things. Noel shouldn’t have to suffer because of me.”
Her hands are on my shoulders again, grasping me sure and strong. “It doesn’t work that way. You put yourself in chains holding onto the past. Let your mistakes go and forgive yourself.”
I start to answer, but she stops me. “The darkest hour is just before dawn.” Then she goes to the door and leaves us.
Looking back at my little girl, I think about her words. I think about the dungeon I’ve kept myself in since Mexico. Is it possible Mindy’s mom has given me the keys to set myself free?
My hand is on Dove’s, and I lower my forehead to my arm. It’s so quiet, I’m not sure if I doze. I only know time passes, and Noel comes back. She sits beside me and puts her head on my arm. I move and pull her against my chest.
“I love you.” It’s the only thing I can say. I’m at the end of my ability to fix this.
She lifts her head, giving me a sad smile. “I love you.”
Reaching for her cheek, I pull her lips to mine and kiss her, softly, gently. Our eyes meet, and I would do anything to take away her pain.
Tucking her head into my chest again, I close my eyes and say a silent prayer. She’s in my arms, secure in my embrace. I have to believe it’s going to be okay.
“Daddy…”
A sleepy little voice startles us. “Were you kissing Mamma?”
My head snaps around. “Dove?”
Her pretty eyes blink round, and her mother dives forward. “Dove? You’re awake!” Noel kisses her cheek. She kisses her other cheek and her neck and the side of her hand. “Oh, my baby… my sweet, angel baby…”
I step back, giving her room as happiness, relief, gratitude, joy surge in my chest. Going to the head of the bed, I reach down to stroke her soft hair.
“How are you feeling, sweet pea?”
“My head hurts.” Her voice sounds tired. “I was so cold. I held onto Akela. She was warm. She tried to get me out…” She looks up at me, and her little eyes go round. “I’m sorry I didn’t go home like you said.”
“It’s okay… You’re not in trouble….” I don’t know how to say this. “Don’t ever do that again, okay?”
She nods, solemnly. “Is Akela okay?”
Noel gathers her up for a kiss as the nurse enters the room and starts moving quickly, making notes and checking her vitals.
Dove’s blue-green eyes never leave us. “Is Mamma your princess now?”
I only smile, so thankful for a second chance. “We’ll talk about everything when we get home.”
33
Noel
“Five times four?” Leon leans on the bar with Dove perched right in front of him.
“Twenty!” She shouts, doing a little jump.
“Two times two?”
Her head cocks to the side. “Too easy… Four.”
“Okay, try this. Seven times…” His voice trails, and her eyes widen. “Nine!”
Her little lips part, and she thinks a moment. “Sixty-three?”
“Yes!” Leon holds up his hands and she high fives both of them hard. “Baby genius for the win!”
That gets him an instant frown. “I’m not a baby!”
Taron laughs from where he stands, leaning against the opposite bar as he watches them. He is so damn sexy in a black tux with his hair pushed behind his ears and his ocean eyes full of love.