by David Jay
Chapter Two
Joseph wondered whether he should tell Alice the truth about how he met Brock and Emma. Certainly, he could not tell her the whole truth, he thought. He could not tell her, for example, that while he was lying on his back in an alley with a long knife pressed against his neck, that he actually thought he would rather die than give up his fine watch and his money.
“Your money or your life!” the man with the knife shouted.
“I’m thinking! I’m thinking!” Joseph screamed.
But whether he told the truth, or even the half-truth, Alice would say it was his fault for going into the alley in the first place. And she would excoriate him in front of Brock and Emma.
Normally, having a brush with death would be enough to ruin Joseph’s day. But a brush with death seemed like a mild and insignificant incident to him, compared with how Alice would respond to what her father did earlier that day.
Alice knew when Joseph went to work that morning that he was going to ask her father about a bonus he had promised Joseph quite some time ago. But Conrad Brooks was as miserly as he was rich. He came up with what Joseph believed to be a cockamamie story about labor trouble at the company’s steamship plant in Australia, and he denied Joseph the bonus.
Joseph just knew Alice would blame him. He was sure of it.
Joseph’s original plan was to go to the club after work and get half-drunk before he went home. At least it would ease the pain of telling Alice what happened.
Alice, whose goal in life is to be a glistening member of New York’s high society, who wants so much money that no one will ever look at her sideways, or whisper behind their hands. And so far, her father had been giving them barely enough money to stay afloat. And him, a steamship builder with plants around the world.
But that wasn’t all. Here was Joseph, who portrayed himself to Brock and Emma as their financial savior. And now, as they headed for Joseph’s rather modest home, he had no idea where the money would come from to pay a living wage for his bodyguard/valet and Alice’s parlor maid.
●●●
Alice could have jumped over the moon.
At first, when Joseph introduced her to Brock and Emma, Alice was horrified. Why, she wondered, has he brought these dirty, smelly homeless wretches into my home?
But when Joseph announced he had hired them as their “household staff,” Alice went bug-eyed and made her lunar leap. She had always been in love with the word “staff,” ever since her mother died and she became heir to her father’s fortune.
“Well,” Alice said, in what for her was a cheerful voice, “tell me how you met these folks, Joseph.”
Joseph omitted how the Ackermans had been poking around in garbage cans looking for something to eat. He also left out how he thought for a split second that death might be a better option than losing his watch and money. Nor did he give the gruesome details of how Brock snapped one of the attacker’s arm literally in two, or that the same man had held a knife against Joseph’s neck.
He merely said that Brock “dispatched those two scofflaws in quick order.”
“Well,” Alice said, “that must have been exciting.”
“That’s one way to put it,” Joseph said.
Alice, whose eyes were watering from the stench of the staff’s body odor, suggested they might like to take a bath.
“You must be tired,” she said. “You’ve come all the way from England, my goodness. A nice bath will revive your spirits, I’m sure. Joseph, show them the way to the guest bedroom and bathroom. Oh, for heavens’ sakes, they’re not guests, they’re staff! How silly of me.” She forced a laugh.
Joseph pointed at an open door. “Your bedroom is right there. Turn on the lights when you go in and you’ll see the bathroom.”
“Oh, Joseph, do the proper thing and escort them to their bedroom.”
Joseph put his hands on his hips. “Escort them? Did you say escort them? Alice, I could give them a complete tour of this house simply by standing in the middle of the living room we’re now in, and very slowly turning around and pointing.” He quickly added, “I’m teasing you, darling. You know that.”
“That’s all right,” Brock said. “We can find the way now.” He picked up their carpetbags.
“One question if I may, Your Grace … I mean Mr. … Joseph.”
Joseph tossed his head back and laughed. “Your Grace. I love that. Alice, I want you to call me that from now on.” Alice stared at him and did not smile.
“Go ahead, Emma. What’s your question?” Joseph said.
“How do you turn on the lights?”
“How do you … You don’t have lights in England?”
“Oh, in a few homes, individually. Wealthy people. But there is no electric …”
“System?”
“Yes, no electric system.”
“Here. I’ll escort you to your bedroom.”
●●●
Later that evening, Brock and Emma cleaned up and put on the only other set of clothes they had. Brock shaved his beard, and Emma helped Alice prepare dinner. After Brock and Emma ate their first decent meal in weeks, they retired for the night. Joseph and Alice were lying in bed discussing how their lives were about to change.
“Joseph, I don’t mean to criticize,” Alice said, which always meant she was about to criticize, “but I think we have to be careful we don’t become too close to the staff.” Joseph knew he was going to hear Alice say the word “staff” incessantly for some time to come.
“Like tonight, when you were joking and laughing with them. And at dinner as well. Of course, we will not be eating with them on a regular basis at all.”
“We’re not?”
“Heavens, no. Tonight was an anomaly, because they haven’t had much to eat for such a long time. That’s the point I’m trying to make. We shouldn’t … socialize with them. We can, and should, be nice to them, for the most part, that is, but we shouldn’t become friends with them.”
“Why not?”
“Because, if we’re their friends, they will think they are our equals. And they are not our equals. But if they think they are, they will think it doesn’t matter how well they do their jobs. Don’t you see? There has to be a strong boss/employee relationship, or it won’t work.”
“Hmm.”
“Anyway, I am so excited about this, dear. I think we are finally moving in the right direction. By the way, have you discussed wages with them?”
“A bit, while we were coming home from the … alley.”
“Did you come to an agreement?”
‘I told them eight dollars a week, plus room and board.”
“Well, we can negotiate that down.”
“Down?”
“Of course. You’re being far too generous. Remember, I’m my father’s daughter. Oh! That reminds me.” She sat up in bed. “Did you get the bonus? I almost forgot about that.”
“Nope. And I’m not surprised.” He was surprised how quickly he answered.
“What? What did you do to make him angry?”
“I didn’t do anything!”
“That’s probably why he got angry.”
“He didn’t get angry! He just made up some stupid story that he couldn’t give me the bonus because they’re having serious labor problems with the plant in Australia.”
“Well, if he said that, then they are having problems. He wouldn’t lie about a thing like that.”
“Yes, he would.”
“Are you calling my father a liar?”
“Yes. He’s a liar.”
“Oooh!” She pounded her pillow. “Oh, and this. After Father says he can’t afford to give you a bonus, you go out and hire a household staff. Are you crazy? How are you going to pay them? And feed them?”
“Stop shouting, my dear, or you’ll wake them up.”
“Don‘t call me your dear.”
“Well, you are my dear.”
“No, I’m –”
“Listen to me!” Pause. “I have a
solution to this.”
“What?”
“Your father might not listen to me. But he’ll listen to you. Now that your mother is gone, you’re all he’s got. So, you’re going to talk to him. You’re going to tell him we have a staff now, and we need help to pay for it.”
“What if I refuse to do that?”
“Then I’ll sic Brock on you.”