“Not just yet.” Derrick kept his arm around Gavin, refusing to move. Lying there, Gavin tucked against him, was too nice. Comfortable. Secure. Not alone.
He hated the voice of fear inside him that cautioned against becoming too reliant on the feeling.
“I just didn’t plan this. It wasn’t something I prepared for.”
“Yeah, neither had I,” Gavin mumbled. “I honestly thought I was just going to have a beer with some co-workers, come home, and watch TV until I fell asleep.”
“I was just out for a drive,” Derrick admitted. “I’m glad I didn’t stop myself from coming.”
Gavin’s arms tightened around him, and his voice slurred, almost inaudible.
“Me, too.”
A few seconds later, he heard Gavin’s breathing take on the deep, steady rhythm of sleep. He lay still for some time listening to it, determined not to wake Gavin by moving too soon. Only when he was in danger of falling asleep as well did Derrick ease himself out of Gavin’s arms and slide out of the bed.
He covered Gavin with the blankets, looking down at him a long moment. A strange, protective feeling scratched at the back of his mind as he replayed their conversation. Shaking it off, he headed into the bathroom. A quiet hunt through the cabinets unearthed a wrapped toothbrush with a dentist’s logo on the handle. Hoping he wasn’t misstepping, Derrick helped himself to it.
When he returned to the bed, Gavin had sprawled out a bit. Smiling at the sight, Derrick tucked himself in wherever he could find room, moving as close as he dared without waking Gavin. He was still smiling when he fell asleep.
ALL THE WALLS OF GAVIN’S BEDROOM WERE INTERIOR, so Derrick awoke with no sense of time, except for a hint of sunlight reaching down the hallway from the great room to lighten the crack under the bedroom door. He fumbled at the bedside table where he’d seen Gavin drop his phone and thumbed the touchscreen, smiling to himself to realize just how late he’d slept.
“You okay?” Gavin mumbled sleepily.
He shook off the disorientation of waking somewhere strange, he laid the phone aside and settled back in as Gavin pressed up against him.
“Yeah. Just not used to sleeping this late.”
“Oh God, you’re an early bird,” Gavin groaned, a chuckle bouncing through the sound. “That’s it. Out. This’ll never work.”
Derrick laughed, rolling toward Gavin. “Oh, really? Because what I’m feeling against my hip seems to think otherwise.”
“Hm, well, yes, there is that.” Gavin pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “How would you feel if I said I don’t want to get out of bed?”
His own morning wood registered a definite affirmative to that notion. “I doubt Chelsea will starve if I’m a little bit later getting home. I’ll need to eat breakfast soon, but not just yet.”
“Good. Because, actually—” Gavin’s hand slid down his chest. “—I’m curious.”
“Oh?” Derrick asked with a faint smile. He dropped his voice to what he hoped was a sexy murmur. “About what?”
“This,” Gavin murmured as his hand covered Derrick’s cock.
“Well,” he cleared his throat, trying to sound more sophisticated and nonchalant than he felt. “You can’t tell me you’ve never seen one before, so why—?”
“I’ve only ever been with one other guy who was intact, and he wouldn’t let me explore. Said he didn’t appreciate being treated like a curiosity.”
“Ah.” Derrick nodded, frowning as he remembered what Gavin had told him the night before. “Is that a thing? Is being curious bad? Because I’m not seeing why.”
Gavin shrugged. “Personally, I don’t think so. If I’ve connected the dots in what you’ve told me properly, you’ve never actually been with a man before me, right?”
“Mmhm.” Derrick nodded, struggling to track the conversation. “Then there’s the fact that the last time I had sex, I was barely more than a teenager. Tab A, slot B. We weren’t that inventive, you know? I like to think what I lack in experience I’ll make up for in enthusiasm.”
Gavin laughed. “Yeah, I can feel your enthusiasm. But I imagine you’re going to have some questions.”
“Probably.” Derrick chuckled, a sigh trickling through the sound. “Though right now your hand on my junk is making it hard to come up with any.”
Gavin grinned. “Take your time.”
Then Gavin’s fingers crossed the twitchy, sensitive skin of his groin, and Derrick groaned.
“So?” Gavin prompted. Derrick opened his eyes to see Gavin biting his lip in concentration. “What do you like? I don’t want to do anything you wouldn’t enjoy.”
“Well,” he breathed, finding words a lot more difficult to string together. “It’s, um, it’s sensitive. Really sensitive.” He held Gavin’s hand and guided it along his dick, not attempting to wrap Gavin’s fingers around it or roll the foreskin forward over the ridge. “Just do what you said you wanted to do. Explore. I’ll tell you if something isn’t working. Or if it is, for that matter.”
Gavin looked a little bit uncertain, but he grasped Derrick’s cock anyway, stroking with caution. The first time the foreskin slipped over the crown, Derrick’s hips came up, moving just the smallest bit to meet the stroke. He moaned, his eyes closing.
Whoever had refused Gavin permission to do this was a grade-A moron, he decided, licking his lips. He let his hand fall to the pillow next to his head, making it clear he was open to and comfortable with whatever Gavin chose to do.
It didn’t take long for Gavin to get the hang of it. Derrick gave himself over with soft moans and gasped encouragement, panting when particularly intense strokes made him catch his breath. He let his eyes fall shut again, sinking back into the sensations, relaxed and not the least bit self-conscious.
“That’s really nice. God….”
Something brightened Gavin’s voice a little; an audible smile, and Derrick felt his own lips curving in response.
“You like that? It feels good?” The pace of Gavin’s stroking picked up.
“Mmhmm. It really does.”
Then Gavin’s other hand came into play, slipping between Derrick’s thighs to fondle his balls, and the strokes up and down his dick got firmer, faster, more intense. Derrick fought to rein in his reactions, reluctant to let himself be pushed to the edge too soon. It was just too damn good, all the sensation with none of the effort to make it happen.
“Jesus… Gav….” he half-whispered, hardly aware he’d spoken as he concentrated on keeping his responses in check, still moving to meet Gavin’s strokes.
Gavin’s rhythm faltered for an instant before resuming.
“I like it when you call me that.”
“Huh?” Derrick’s eyes opened, looking up in confusion for a moment before he remembered what he’d said. “Oh.” He moaned, closing his eyes again on the next wave of sensation, mustering a goofy smile. “Keep doing that, I’ll call you anything you want.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Gavin laughed, and Derrick smiled a bit broader in return. Somehow the laughter made it easier to hold on to control, and also made the entire experience more intense. Not just pleasurable, but fun in a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever known sex could be.
Gavin experimented, altering his grip and tempo at intervals, beginning to linger longer and longer when he found something that dragged the most energetic reactions from Derrick. Derrick gave up on holding back, letting the feeling take him, his groans louder and more uncontrollable, begging between gasps.
“Keep… keep going… oh, God, please….”
He heard Gavin mutter something in response, encouragement, perhaps, and then the building orgasm broke over him with a shout and an almost painful tightening of his balls just before the first hard pulse of his cock.
He heard Gavin sigh as the pressure of his hand disappeared from Derrick’s too-sensitive dick. “God, that’s gorgeous.”
Derrick mustered a short, breathless huff of laughter, too dazed even to blush. Gavin rose to
retrieve a warm cloth for him, solicitously wiping the sweat from his face and chest before attending to the mess on his stomach. He pushed away the feeling of embarrassment that he hadn’t tended to Gavin last night, and instead focused on the giddy feeling glowing inside him. He felt lighter than he had in years, so blissed-out and overjoyed he wanted to burst into laughter for no reason other than he felt good. He could feel an idiotic grin stretching across his face.
Post-orgasmic lassitude was nowhere to be found, this early in the morning. His ebullient mood asserted itself as he rolled, pushing Gavin onto his back and stretching out above him. He smiled, dropping a kiss to the underside of Gavin’s jaw, moving down his neck. Gavin’s dick was hard between their bodies, and Gavin pushed up against him needfully.
And then he froze up, burying his face against Gavin’s throat. A spasm of uncertainty tried to choke his high spirits. His assertiveness faltered as quickly as it had come, leaving Derrick vulnerable and unsure.
Such a stupid, juvenile thing, to worry he wouldn’t be a good lover. But ten years of abstinence following a rather infrequent and unremarkable post-adolescent sex life left him feeling like he was behind the sexual learning curve. Especially contrasted to Gavin’s confidence.
“What is it?” Gavin’s hands stroked his shoulders as Derrick hesitated.
“Teach me.” Derrick whispered without any forethought or consideration, his heart hammering in his chest. “I want to know what you like, what you want. Help me learn you.”
Gavin’s hands stilled for a moment, his voice warm with understanding when he murmured back, “Gladly.”
He let himself take comfort in Gavin for a moment, in the soothing caress of his hands, before he gathered up his nerve and moved down. Gavin groaned, and his hips lifted against Derrick’s belly as Derrick’s lips made their way to his nipple.
“God, yes,” he breathed when Derrick’s tongue flicked against his nipple. “Pinch the other one… yeah, like that… Harder. I like it when it hurts a little.”
Oh, god…. Derrick moaned. Something in him melted when Gavin’s hand brushed back his hair from where it had fallen forward around his face, sliding along his scalp. If he hadn’t come so recently, he would have started to get hard again.
Gavin groaned when Derrick grasped his nipple, pinching. “Like that. Yeah….”
Gavin’s body moved beneath Derrick’s weight. His hand tightened in Derrick’s hair, and that was good. So damn good.
Releasing Gavin’s nipple, he began to move downward again. The closer he got to Gavin’s groin, the better he smelled. Musk mingled with the remnants of whatever body wash or cologne Gavin used to create a scent that made Derrick want to bury his nose against Gavin’s skin and just inhale.
When Gavin’s hand relaxed in his hair, he realized he’d done just that.
He lifted his head, blinking in confusion as Gavin’s hand drew back. “What is it?”
“I just don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you.”
Derrick smiled, dropping a kiss on Gavin’s hip, then reached for the strip of condoms on the bedside table, tearing one off. “I don’t. It felt good.”
“What, this?” Gavin’s hand slipped back into his hair, fisting around it near the scalp. Another surge of arousal swept through Derrick, riding the breathless edge of danger mingled with arousal. His eyes snapped shut and his mouth fell open as Gavin pulled his head back. It felt like his bones had turned to gelatin, like he’d lost all volition, like he’d do anything, anything, that hand demanded of him.
It was both terrifying and sublime. Derrick’s Adam’s apple bobbed as it occurred to him that he wouldn’t mind if Gavin did push him.
“That’s very good to know,” Gavin murmured, his grip relaxing once more. He looked both satisfied and predatory as Derrick opened his eyes again. “Keep going.”
Derrick’s hands weren’t quite at their steady best as he tore open the wrapper and put a drop of lube in the condom before rolling it along Gavin’s dick. He ignored the horrid scent and taste of latex and slid his mouth down Gavin’s cock.
He discovered that giving a blow job was trickier than it seemed, watching it in porn. He couldn’t seem to find a pace that evoked much of a reaction from Gavin, who stroked his hair patiently. He made encouraging sounds, but they weren’t the desperate, pleasured noises Derrick hoped to hear.
After Gavin let him fumble for a few minutes, experimenting, he said softly, “Use your tongue.”
As it had when Gavin’s hand clenched in his hair, Gavin’s words did something to Derrick, something that felt both safe and exciting. Not just the words. His voice. Derrick felt like he could do anything as long as that voice kept murmuring quiet demands. He faltered, trying to work out the best way to use his tongue as he moved, and he knew he’d found the trick when Gavin groaned.
“Yeah. God. Like that.” Gavin shuddered, his body twitching as Derrick’s tongue hit a sensitive spot on the next pass. “Just like that. Now… suck it.”
He moaned around Gavin’s cock without meaning to. That crude, clichéd, filthy demand used in a hundred bad skin flicks struck something inside Derrick, something that wanted instruction, wanted to obey. He gripped the base of the condom and sucked firmly.
Gavin grew louder, and Derrick sucked harder. His tongue stroked the ridge as he worked his way up to the head of Gavin’s cock again. Gavin’s hips came off the bed in short, jerky pushes, and his hand tightened in Derrick’s hair again.
“God. Oh, yeah. Good… Oh, that’s good. Now… all of that together….”
His groan vibrated along Gavin’s cock, and he doubled his efforts, giving himself over to the rhythm. The hand in his hair seemed even more dangerous now. Gavin made no effort to push or control his head, but the implication was there. The thought that he might take control kept Derrick hovering between worry and yearning.
He pushed himself harder. The blossoming ache in his jaw and crick in his neck didn’t matter. He drove himself on, ignoring them. What mattered were Gavin’s urgent gasps and moans. Those were the sounds he wanted.
Gavin cried out, and beneath his tongue, Derrick felt the surge along the back side of Gavin’s cock, the instant before he came. His hand twisted in Derrick’s hair, his hips bucked, and then he collapsed back down on the bed, panting and shuddering with each after-pulse.
Trying to catch his own breath, Derrick laid his head on Gavin’s thigh, pressing a kiss to the sweat-damp skin. When Gavin’s panting slowed, Derrick discarded the condom and crawled back up the bed.
Gavin drew him down against his chest, in a reversal of their positions last night. He laid a hand on Derrick’s head and tucked it beneath his chin, kissing Derrick’s hair.
It felt good to be held. Safe. New and strange. He curled against Gavin and made himself stop over-thinking the tingle of vulnerability that shivered through him.
“Rest a few,” Gavin murmured, chuckling. “Enthusiasm, indeed.”
“Thanks.” Derrick smiled, blushing, and pressed a kiss to Gavin’s chest. He wanted to lay there all morning, but as he relaxed, a familiar, unsteady feeling began, trembling almost imperceptibly in his chest. He lifted his hand and found it shaking slightly. Reluctantly, he lifted his head. “Um, I really need to eat something.”
Gavin frowned. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I just can’t go too long without eating. Preferably something with some protein. Maybe we should get going so I can get to my place and make us breakfast. Or I guess it’ll be more like brunch, won’t it?”
“I guess it will.” Gavin smiled, unwrapping his arms from around Derrick and sitting up. “Why don’t you go ahead and get dressed, brush your teeth and whatnot, and I’ll see what I can scare up to tide you over?”
When he came out of the bathroom, Gavin was out on the patio, smoking and talking on his cell phone. On the breakfast bar was a cup of yogurt and a toasted bagel slathered thickly with cream cheese, as well as a glass of orange juice. When Gavin came back in,
he gave the kitchen a wide berth on his way toward the bathroom.
“You don’t need to do that, you know,” Derrick said, swallowing a bite of bagel. “Rush off, I mean.”
“I’d still rather you like the way I smell.”
Derrick shrugged. “Whatever you feel comfortable with, then.”
Gavin disappeared down the hall to wash his hands and brush his teeth, then returned to the kitchen, leaning against the breakfast bar.
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah.” Derrick nodded, dropping the empty yogurt container in the trash, and returned to the breakfast bar to finish his bagel. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I don’t tend to be a big breakfast person. This was all I had. Sorry it isn’t much.”
Derrick shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”
“You’re diabetic?”
“Hypoglycemic. If you ever see my hands shaking or I’m pale and sweating, or acting a little spacey or disoriented, feeding me is a pretty good bet. I might even get irritable or argumentative. Don’t take it personally, okay?”
“Okay.” Gavin pursed his lips thoughtfully. “How do you cope with that?”
“Mostly by keeping to a really strict schedule built around frequent meals.” Derrick gave a self-effacing chuckle, wiping up his crumbs and loading his plate in the dishwasher. “I may be a bit of an unimaginative stick-in-the-mud, but I have my reasons for being so set in my ways.”
“I don’t know, I willing to bet you’re plenty imaginative.” Gavin gave him a wicked grin and Derrick flushed. “You need to hurry home to feed Chelsea?”
“Pretty soon, though I don’t have to rush out the door just this instant. Chelsea has a dog door, so I don’t have to let her out or anything. Mostly I think she’s going to be really confused. I’ve never spent the night away before.”
“Oh.” For an instant, Gavin’s face looked a little pitying, and Derrick realized how pathetic it must sound to someone else. It had never felt that way, as he’d gone about his life. He just hadn’t had any reason to go anywhere.
Inertia: Impulse, Book One Page 13