Heart Ripper

by K. A. Merikan

David’s heart was racing. Did he manage? Did he land the job?

  Lindell tapped his finger on the wooden counter. “You’ll need to learn all about the flowers. The customers have many questions about care, watering, and all that.”

  “I will!” David pulled out his notebook from his bag, and opened it quickly. “I have all these notes on the flowers from my mom’s garden, and I’m a quick learner.”

  Lindell and Suzy exchanged glances. “Well, that’s great, because I’m gonna test you in two weeks,” said Lindell in the end.

  “Thank you so much! I will not disappoint you.” David shook Lindell’s hand, over the moon and back. He’d just landed his first real job. He couldn’t wait to tell Hunter, and Asty, and Mom, and Dad… and Raja.

  Lindell showed David the door to the office. “Come on, we need to discuss all the boring bits. You can keep the crown.”

  Chapter 9

  David walked out of the store and took a selfie in the flower crown, with the shop in the background. He sent the photo to his friends with a caption stating ‘Guess who just got a job?’. But even though he casually attached Raja’s number to that group, his was the one answer he anticipated most. Despite the way Raja had tricked him into a kiss, he still couldn’t help but be drawn to the man. He didn’t believe anything would happen between them anymore. Raja had made that clear...ish. But David could speak to Raja about the one thing he’d only ever told Father Joseph (which ended up a disaster). The more he thought about it, the more he appreciated Raja’s straight up attitude. The way Father Joseph acted was… David hated to think that but, shady. Raja was just so out there with his confidence and attitude. A man of the cloth acting the way Father Joseph did made David uncomfortable at best.

  Not that Raja was a saint, but at least he didn’t pretend to be. Who was David kidding, anyway? Raja was so hot he scorched David’s brain, leaving it a charred mess. David shouldn’t have even texted him back after what Raja said to him in that shed, but he couldn’t help himself. The mystery of Raja having gone to a conversion therapy camp was also at the back of David’s mind. He didn’t dare ask about it just yet, because it didn’t seem like something Raja wanted to talk about.

  As he cycled home through a park, his phone buzzed steadily with people’s comments on the picture. He was elated and even stopped by a bakery on the way, because he figured he deserved something sweet for his achievement today. Not wanting to be selfish in his celebrating, he also bought pastries for Hunter and his fiancée, Asty, before riding straight home.

  Asty was trying to lose her almost nonexistent pregnancy weight and moaned about it at first, but she seemed grateful for the pastry nevertheless.

  David hung the flower crown to dry in the garden shed, and the two of them sat down to have some coffee with the sweets. “Do you want to have some wine with that?” asked Asty, who walked around with little Bell strapped to the front of her body in a bat-shaped carrier, complete with tiny wings. Hunter and Asty’s house was like all-year round Halloween.

  “Why does everyone want to get me drunk?” David laughed and curled up his feet on the sofa, briefly thinking back to the fantasy of getting married to Raja. No one needed to know about it.

  Asty took a bite of her apple turnover and groaned in pleasure, petting the baby’s head. “Well, I can’t drink any until I’m done breastfeeding, I guess I want someone else to have some fun.”

  “You’re still only twenty.”

  Asty snorted. “Sure. I can get married and have a baby, but I’m not mature enough for a glass of red wine. Makes sense.” She leaned over and patted David’s hand. “Don’t be so strict with yourself.”

  David sighed, it was hard to deny the logic of Asty’s words. “I guess I’m not much of a party boy.”

  Asty smiled at him with her mouth full and some of the flaky crust stuck to her lips and piercings. He wondered if it was hard to eat with those in her lips, but he didn’t dare ask. “I noticed. Guess your brother already partied for both of you,” she said, but it didn’t sound like a complaint. More as if she were amused by the fact that Hunter was getting as little sleep as she did and wouldn’t have enough energy for an all-night party.

  “He’s changed. He’s nothing like the rest of the family. How does it work in the club? Lucky’s your brother, right? He’s gay, and I suppose your dad is okay with it, but what about his fiancé? I’ve only seen him a few times, but he’s the vice president of the club. Is that okay with people?”

  Asty shrugged, but her expression was thoughtful. “Tooth has been with the club for years, and he became Dad’s right hand pretty quickly. I suppose he’s just very responsible, but also stern when he needs to be. He has a reputation. I think if he were someone else, it could have been harder for people to accept him as a gay man, but he’s just this overall badass. No one in their right mind would treat him differently just because he likes men.”

  “I guess what I’ve been thinking about is that I’ve never known anyone who was gay, and now, all of a sudden it’s everywhere around me. Your brother, my new boss, and the shop caters to gay weddings. It’s not something I’m used to.” David sighed, thinking back to Raja again and taking a discreet glance at his phone. There was no answer from him so far, and it only made anxiety grow somewhere within David. Would Raja ignore him again? David shouldn’t have texted him.

  Asty finished the pastry and sipped some tea. “Times are changing, and people don’t want to hide who they are anymore. Hunter’s former club attacked the Coffin Nails because of Tooth before the patchover. And now they have a gay club president, although from what I understand, some of their members left because of this. But those who have brains know that such things don’t affect the worth of a man.”

  David nodded, still unsure where he stood on all this. “Lucky’s nice. And my new boss is really nice too.”

  Asty smiled. “I know. He’ll be making decorations for us once I can fit into the dress I want.”

  David got up. “Maybe I’ll be helping with it then. Let me know when Hunter’s back, okay?” He needed to google some gay weddings, because he was more than curious about how the flower arrangements looked. Were they more monochrome? Darker? It would seem appropriate for a wedding without a bride. Then again... what about lesbians? It was very confusing.

  They talked some more, and after he put all the plates and cups into the dishwasher, David climbed up the stairs and walked into the guest room. It was quite large, and although the bed was the only piece of furniture inside at this moment, David didn’t mind. He put his clothes on a cheap rail he’d acquired from the neighbors during a garage sale, and he didn’t have that many things here anyway, with most of his belongings remaining back in his parents’ house.

  His phone buzzed when he rolled on the bed and switched on the laptop. It was Raja, and just seeing his name had David’s blood heating up.

  [Is that how you want to marry your Prince Charming?] wrote the insolent bastard.

  At least David didn’t have to make a pretend-sour-face, because Raja wouldn’t get to see his smile. [Oh, is that a typo? Did you mean PRINCESS?]

  [You’re not a princess.]

  [I’m celibate. I can’t marry.]

  [We’ll see about that.] answered Raja.

  David gasped, staring at the screen. Was Raja still actually interested in him? Or was this just flirting? He supposed it was safe to flirt. It wasn’t as if David could give in to anything when Raja was miles away.

  [I can stick to my word. Just because you’ve tempted me once, doesn’t mean I haven’t learned from it.]

  [Twice.]

  [The kiss doesn’t count! Even a priest could kiss someone on the cheek.]

  [Even you don’t believe that, you little cheat. You need some porn in your life to fuel that fire.] wrote Raja.

  David shook his head with a groan. [I don’t need porn. I’m perfectly self-sufficient.] He winced once he sent the text. That wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say. Stupid Raja, pulling his t
ongue. He couldn’t help but glance at his laptop though. At home, his parents set up blocks for adult content, and he wasn’t all that eager to search for it either, but now that Raja mentioned it, a curiosity bloomed in him, and he typed ‘gay pornography’ into the search engine. He’d just look at how many results there were. It was curiosity.

  In the meanwhile, Raja wrote back, [Self-sufficient? I don’t believe that for a second. You must be thinking about me at least a bit.]

  David’ cheeks flamed up. He’d even made up an elaborate fantasy of them fucking in that shed, to which he jerked off much too often. David rolled over to his back with a sigh. Raja was such a damn flirt, and it pulled on all of David’s strings. [It’s still just me and my hand.] Gah. Too much information. David slapped his forehead.

  Raja took more time to answer this time, but when his message finally came, David had to stifle a moan. [Last time, it was my hand.]

  David bit his lip and slid his hand into his pants. He did remember that last time all too well. [Long time ago.]

  [Wasn’t that long. Loved how it pulsed against my hand. I wonder how tasty it is.] sent back Raja, leaving David deaf to anything but the furious thudding in his ears.

  He’d thought Raja didn’t want him anymore, but it looked like this wasn’t the case after all. It would make keeping his purity ring on his finger much harder. David squeezed his cock through his briefs. [Not gonna happen. I’m a good boy.]

  [You are very good when you’re dirty. So hungry for my spunk, even though you’re wearing those neat clothes.]

  David rubbed his palm against his hardening dick but wouldn’t give Raja the satisfaction. [I’m not hungry for anyone’s spunk. I’ve learned my lesson.] Such a lie. He’d fantasized about giving Raja head so many times he’d lost count. That thick, hot cock in his mouth was the stuff of wet dreams. He was so weak.

  Raja’s answer came quickly and had David trembling with excitement. [I’ll be away for the next few weeks. Wanna hang out tonight?]

  Even David’s lips started throbbing. He knew exactly what ‘hanging out’ would entail. But then there was the whole torment of finding out Raja would be gone for a few weeks. Maybe that was for the better? Maybe that would be a chance for David to get over all his dirty feelings for the bearded sex god?

  [I can’t… This is really inappropriate.] he wrote, but it pained him to do so. He wanted to see Raja’s cock up close again. And Raja was… David wanted to get to know him better. Wear his T-shirt, ride on his bike, fall asleep in his bed and make him pancakes in the morning. He had such a pathetic crush on the guy.

  David pushed his hand into his briefs and groaned, imagining it was Raja’s fingers on his cock. The mixture of arousal and disappointment when Raja didn’t answer was so confusing he pulled his hand out again, unsure if he even wanted to jerk off anymore. This was the worst.

  He dropped the phone and rolled to his stomach, suddenly faced with a whole list of pages that contained the thing he’d been running from. Gay sex. His breath caught, and as his hips pushed his half-hard cock against the comforter, the pressure was enough to elicit a tingle that ran all the way to David’s balls.

  He clicked on the first link, full of dirty words, unable to resist the temptation. All those naked men, available to be viewed at the click of a button. Shame and excitement were getting him nauseated.

  The heat of the flush was slowly cooking his brain, and as he moved the cursor over the miniatures, he was shocked to see them move, like gifs. That was what they were. Naughty gifs of men pushing cocks into mouths and asses. David pulled his hand away, and the fragments of one of the movies started drawing him in. A young blond man had another guy’s cock in his mouth. He shone with sweat as his partner pushed his dick in deeper. Then the scene changed, and David was faced with an unnaturally spread anus, with two fingers scissored at the entrance.

  His body said yes, heating up, his cock getting hard, but his brain spat fear at him in a visceral reaction. He raised his hips to reach between his legs, but quickly trailed the mouse to another video. And yet again, he wasn’t sure if he liked it. Two muscular men were having anal sex on a bed, so nothing crazy, but the way the guy on top pushed his dick in like a machine looked… brutal. The pace of it made David clench his ass. Would it hurt if he got fucked like that? He had no idea. It probably would. Yet he couldn’t force himself to turn off the video, already reaching for some hand cream.

  Raja had told him he’d be ‘on the receiving end’ of things. Was that bad? When it was Raja’s hands David imagined all over himself, it didn’t seem all that horrible. And despite the guy on top now holding down the other’s head, David couldn’t deny the appeal of that image. His mind offered the image of Raja propped over him, his muscular chest heaving as he thrust hard into David’s ass, holding him down with a bruising force. Droplets of sweat fell off Raja and cooled David’s skin. Waves of arousal made their way to his cock, and he started jerking off in the same furious rhythm in which the men on the screen fucked. His ass throbbed at the imaginary invasion, and he pulled his pants down just below his buttocks to fuel the fantasy.

  Maybe if he wrote to Raja, told him he changed his mind about tonight, Raja would do this to him. He’d push David’s face against the pillow and enter him so hard and fast David would be yelling like the man in the movie.

  He reached back and ran just the tip of his finger between his buttocks, over the puckered skin down there. The mere fantasy that it was Raja doing so, then pushing it in, made David chase his orgasm like a madman, in a lucid state between the porn video and the image in his head. Raja would tell him just how much of a slut he was for wanting it, for consenting to a cock in his body.

  David came with a groan, heaving and twisting his finger against his entrance, high on the arousal and all the nasty words he imagined Raja saying. He didn’t even care he came all over the blanket on his bed. He’d deal with that later. Too overwhelmed with sensations, he fell back to his stomach, gasping for air.

  This was all he had. Jerking off and porn. It would have to be enough for him.

  Chapter 10

  There was dust on Raja’s goggles when he pulled into the driveway to the temporary Coffin Nails MC Toledo clubhouse. Even having to maneuver the bike between the holes in the asphalt was better than struggling with bills for a place the former Rabid Hogs-turned Coffin Nails MC could no longer afford after business went to shit.

  Having been away for a month, Raja welcomed the familiar scenery, even the rusty sheets of metal covering the awning over the forecourt of what used to be a service station looked homely and welcoming after weeks on the road. It still resembled a gas station, and cars had occasionally stopped by to ask for fuel before the club invested in a fence.

  The guys knew he was coming, and the sight of their polished bikes standing in the shadow at the front of the small building brought a smile to Raja’s face. Finally home. He couldn’t wait to rest his bones in his own bed after the talking was over. And there was a lot to discuss, because as much as he enjoyed the relative freedom of being a guest at other chapters and fucking his way through America, he was mostly focused on establishing his club. He was the president now, and he wanted the chapter to thrive. It was his responsibility to his brothers. With time, they would be able to leave the rust and dust of this place behind and move somewhere more suitable.

  The four members poured out of the building when he drove into the forecourt, and it was a true relief to finally greet them in person. Only now it hit him that he hadn’t been home for far too long.

  Pete was starting to grow a beard, and Smurf, nicknamed because of his shortness, got a new tattoo on his hand.

  “Get the man a beer,” Spin said with a big grin, and Raja wished they had a prospect already so things like that could be taken care of.

  He walked up to the sofa they set up in the makeshift lounge and sat in it, relieved to have the worn leather cushion him. “Damn right. A nomadic life’s not for me,” he said as his
brothers took seats around the beat-up coffee table. Pete passed him the open beer, and Raja accepted the cool, familiar taste with a groan.

  “Same here,” said Spin, glancing at Raja with curiosity in his bright eyes. They had talked on the phone earlier, but for obvious reasons, they hadn’t discussed business in depth.

  “Anything changed while I was gone?” asked Raja, greedy for a bit of warm-up before moving on to the serious stuff.

  Pete gave him a wide smile. “My son’s getting married next month.” He raised his beer. “And has a baby on the way. I wanted to invite you in person.”

  Raja smiled and patted Pete’s back. The poor bastard had been itching for the next generation of his name for long enough. “Congratulations! I will be there, of course. If there’s anything the two of them need, tell me.”

  Blade leaned back and put three wads of cash on the table to the whistles of the other men. “The operation with the Coffin Nails has been going well. Soon enough, we’ll get a real clubhouse. And prospects and bitches. It’s all down to money.”

  Raja sighed. That was quick progress to real talk. “I have an idea how to make that happen,” he said, straightening up and looking around to make sure he acknowledged all of his men. “It could bring just the revenue we need.”

  Smurf looked at the money on the table with a smile. “I can’t wait to throw a party. It’s been so dead around here.”

  Spin nodded. “Whatcha got?”

  Raja leaned forward and propped his elbows on his thighs. He put down the beer, knowing he needed his brain working with as much attention to detail as possible. The pitch he had for his brothers was not without disadvantages, but he believed it could work for them and finally establish them as a separate entity, independent from the chapter in Detroit.

  “I’ve been in many places and talked to a lot of people, so you can imagine all that information buzz. Most of the Southern chapters do arms or drugs, but up here, we do have a bit of an oversaturation with this kind of cargo, especially with the Detroit guys so established.”