by Emily Woods
Convinced that she could do nothing more for her appearance, she lightly tripped down the stairs and met them all in the front sitting room.
“Hello, dear,” Margie greeted warmly, but upon seeing Charlie’s face more closely, leaned forward with concern. “Are you quite all right?”
“If I’m not, it’s of my own doing,” she replied spiritedly. “Never mind me. I want to meet all these little monkeys.”
“We’re not monkeys,” Robert, the youngest, said seriously. “We’re chillun.”
“Yes, you are definitely children,” Margie corrected gently, emphasizing the correct pronunciation. “Charlie, may I introduce Elizabeth, Martin and Robert. Children, this is Miss Henderson.”
“Oh, do they have to call me that?” Charlie protested. “I’m beginning to despise that title.”
“Hm, well, Auntie Charlie might be a bit premature, so how about Miss Charlie? Will that suit?”
Charlie smiled and bent down to greet them all individually.
“How do you do?” Elizabeth asked demurely with a small courtesy.
“Nice to meet you,” Martin said, his face flush with either excitement or embarrassment at being so close to her.
“Miss, your face is all red,” Robert declared with curiosity. “Why?”
“Robert!” his mother scolded. “Don’t forget your manners!”
“Okay,” he replied. “Where dey?” He looked around as though his manners had escaped from him and were running rampant somewhere.
Charlie burst out laughing. “That’s alright. My face is red. I was just being silly about something, but I’m fine now and delighted to meet you all.”
“Me too?” little Robert asked anxiously. “But I lost my manners.”
She had the urge to scoop him up and squeeze him tightly, but she suspected that it would frighten the wonderful little boy, so she managed to refrain.
“Yes, Robert. You too.”
“Children, go wash please.” She pointed towards the kitchen where a wash basin was waiting. “They’re a little dirty from their outing at the park with Nanny,” Margie explained to Charlie.
“Nanny, would you look after them please?” Margie asked.
Charlie was startled to see a young woman standing in the doorway looking uncertain. “Come children,” the woman urged. “Let’s go wash up.”
“I didn’t see her standing there,” Charlie exclaimed. “It, uh, must be nice to have help with your children.” It sounded lame even to her own ears, but she didn’t know what else to say. A maid, a cook and a nanny? They must be well-off indeed.
“Yes, it is. I know it seems rather decadent to have all this help doing things that I should perhaps be doing myself, but you see, people expect it of the bank manager’s wife. I’m meant to be a kind of ornament that helps with charities and whatnot. It would somehow diminish their respect of Theodore if they saw me doing regular chores and such. Don’t ask me why. I had a hard time with it myself when I came. But anyway, won’t you tell me why you were so upset?”
Charlie paused. “Well, I think I need to do more than that. Can we sit down somewhere? This may take a while.”
The two women retired to the sitting room and over the next ten minutes, Charlie poured out the entire story to the very sympathetic Margie. The older woman patted her hand comfortingly as they sat close together on the settee. When Charlie concluded, Margie looked thoughtful.
“Well, Jackson has a bit of a short temper, but he generally cools off quickly as well. I’ll bet that by dinnertime he’ll be as contrite as can be.”
“I don’t know about that,” Charlie countered. “He seemed very upset.”
“Yes, well, trust matters a lot to him, but he forgets that he has to earn yours. He hasn’t done that yet, and after a little time alone, he’ll probably realize that. If he doesn’t, I’ll be glad to tell him.” She squeezed Charlie’s hand conspiratorially and smiled again. “I hope you won’t mind my saying so, but I’m so thrilled that you’re here. It might not feel like it yet, but I suspect that you and Jackson will be good together. I feel it in my heart.”
“I was starting to feel it in mine too,” Charlie admitted miserably. “But then I had to wreck it with my accusations.”
“Well, if it’s God’s will, then it will happen. You must trust in that and not worry about anything else. Can you do that?”
Charlie gulped. Her faith had never been that strong and now it was being tested beyond what she felt she could bear. First she lost the familiarity of her home and surroundings, then she travelled across the country to meet and possibly marry a complete stranger, and now she was at risk of losing the opportunity that she’d sought. The thought gave her a physical pain. Surely God hadn’t allowed her to travel all this way for nothing?
“I’ll try,” she answered finally. “I don’t have a lot of experience in trusting God. He’s given me a few verses to hold onto, but I still went ahead with my stubborn pride and wanted to dig things out on my own instead of waiting patiently for Him to fulfill His promises.”
A ghost of a smile appeared on Margie’s face. “That’s often the way with humans. We rush in and do things on our own. I nearly lost Theodore for the same reason. I came here and nearly demanded that he marry me without getting to know each other. I badly wanted a home and a good influence for Jackson that I nearly risked losing it all. I don’t want to see you make a similar mistake.”
“Will you pray for me?” Charlie asked, urgency filling her voice. “Will you pray that God gives me a second chance with Jackson? It’s all so bizarre. Just yesterday I felt that I would be on a train back home in the near future, and now it’s the last thing I want.”
Margie nodded her head. She took Charlie’s hands in her own and poured out a heartfelt prayer of submission and praise. She ended by asking God to help them accept His will and grace in their lives. Finally, she prayed, “And Lord, if it’s Your will, please allow Jackson to get over his pride and give Charlie another chance. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Charlie smiled at the familiar way in which Margie addressed the Creator of all things. “You have a strong faith,” she commented. “I wish mine was more like that. I’m afraid I treat God like a genie who should give me all the things I want.”
“Many people do. And God wants to give us good things, wonderful things, but sometimes those are not the things that are best for us. Let’s just trust God to fulfill His plans and leave it to Him. Don’t try to push your own agenda.”
“But I should apologize to Jackson, right?”
Margie nodded. “But he was wrong too, so don’t let him off the hook. Have an honest conversation with him and then see where it goes. It might end up with your going back East, but if it does, trust that it’s God’s plan for Your life and that He has something even better for you.”
Charlie didn’t like the idea, but she knew that Margie was right. She didn’t know what was best for herself, but God did. She would have to learn to trust Him.
11
Jackson did show up for dinner that night, and at first, it was a stilted affair, but between Theodore’s good humor and Margie’s sweetness, the tension broke a little by the end of the meal. The children were dismissed to the nursery and the adults sat together with their coffee.
“So, I found out why some stranger picked up Miss Henderson at the station,” he started, directing his comments at Margie and Theodore. “Seems it was all some kind of revenge. Remember Clint Barrows? He was mad that I put him in prison on the day he was aiming to court some young girl. In any case, I think I’ll let it go since no real harm was done.”
His glance slid over to Charlie whose face had gone noticeably pale.
“No harm?” she choked out. “How can you say that? If you had picked me up, then I wouldn’t have had to hear the lies that Johnny Kingston spouted and I wouldn’t have behaved so…so…”
“Pig-headed?” Jackson supplied.
“No! I mean, yes, but not exactly. I w
as foolish for sure and trusted what I heard over what I could clearly see with my own two eyes, but none of it would have happened but for that incident.”
He studied her features and wondered at the passion he saw there. Her eyes shone bright with unshed tears and he felt his heart tug in his chest. Perhaps he had been too hasty in his judgment of her, but she’d wounded him deeply. She’d uncovered his most vulnerable point and reminded him of all that he would rather have forgotten.
Theodore and Margie watched this interaction for a moment.
“Uh, Margie, I have something I want to talk to you about.” Theodore said abruptly, taking his wife’s hand and pulling her out of her chair. Margie clearly had no intention of leaving and seemed perturbed at being drawn away.
“Can’t it wait, dear?” She motioned her head towards Charlie and Jackson, but Theodore was insistent.
“No, I’m afraid not. Please come.”
Propelling his wife out of the room, Theodore managed to escort her away from what was turning into an intimate exchange. Charlie was glad of the man’s sensitivity, but being alone with Jackson was doing all kinds of unsettling things to her heart.
“What are you saying exactly?” The confusion in his heart must have shown on his face. What she said next surprised him.
“I want to apologize for this afternoon. I did jump to conclusions and I was wrong to do so. I knew you a little from your letters, and I should have trusted you instead of a complete stranger. I don’t have much of an excuse beyond being in a state of turmoil over my life’s circumstances. Still, it wasn’t fair to you.” The words all came out in a rush and from her expression, he could see that she was sincere. Her sorrow made him feel equally contrite.
“I lost my temper,” he admitted. “I do that when people judge me by my behavior from five years ago. That’s my weakest point.”
“I thought it was being single-minded,” Charlie injected softly with a small smile. “Wasn’t that what you told me earlier?”
Surprised, he pulled his head back slightly and contemplated her for a moment before chuckling quietly. “Well, you’ve found me out. I have more than one fault it seems.”
“Thank goodness,” she replied with a nervous laugh of her own. “Because I have many and we should be balanced if…well, if things progress differently.”
“I’d like that,” he confided, laying his hand on top of hers as it rested on the table.
The heat from his hand enveloped hers and travelled up her arm, spreading throughout her entire body. “I would too,” she whispered. “So, we can start again?”
He nodded and pulled her to a standing position. “Maybe we can do that by taking an after-dinner walk? The weather is nice and the stars are out.”
“I’d like that,” she murmured and slipped her arm through his, following him out into the warm night.
The stars were out and shining brightly. The air settled around their shoulders as they strolled down the main street and past the city limits.
“So, Charlie Henderson,” he said softly. “Tell me all about yourself. Who are you really?”
She took a deep breath and started at the beginning. “My childhood was not typical, but idyllic all the same. I had the love of two wonderful parents who thought I was the best and brightest girl in the world.” She told him about her school years, and how many of her friends thought her parents were her grandparents. “It bothered me a little, but because my parents were older, they had more patience for me and I think that it was a blessing. I could be a handful at times.”
Jackson chuckled a bit. “I don’t doubt it. I could see you causing a bit of trouble.”
“More than a bit,” she admitted sheepishly. “One time, I felt sorry for a poor little dog that wandered around our neighborhood so I fed him some of our pastries. He seemed to like them so much, that I snuck him a few more. I guess he figured out where they came from, because one day when my father opened the back door, he flew in and devoured a whole tray of donuts in about two minutes and then tore around the shop for five more minutes before throwing up all over the middle of the shop.” Her eyes filled with mirth at the memory.
Jackson’s own face was wreathed in a smile so broad that she could see all his perfect white teeth. “Did your parents figure out what you had done?”
“Oh, it didn’t take long for them to piece it all together when the dog came and laid his head in my lap with deep remorse. They got the story out of me quick enough, and then I had to spend the rest of the day cleaning up. I must have done a good job of it because they let me keep the dog. I was only ten at the time, but I remember thinking that they were the best parents in the world.”
Jackson became subdued. “I had good parents too,” he murmured. “But we lost them in the early ‘60’s to cholera. It wasn’t even an epidemic at the time, just some lingering disease that affected our community. I was so mad at God at the time. It took me a long time to get over it.”
They had reached the end of the street and stood looking up at the stars. “But you did,” she stated calmly, not trying to push him, but hoping that he would tell her more.
“Yes, but it took a pretty bad wake up call. I got drunk and was nearly killed in a bar fight. Theo decided that it was time for me to learn some discipline and pretty much forced me to join up with the Texas Rangers. He had a friend who was visiting, and the man took me under his wing. I finally had a sense of purpose and spent five years with them.”
He paused for a moment and she sensed that he was thinking about a significant memory. She merely waited and then he began talking again. “I was actually part of the group who caught several outlaws. It was an exciting life, but I kept looking for something more. By 1875, I was the most daring Ranger, willing to go up against anyone at any time. I felt immortal, but then I was shot.” Charlie drew in her breath sharply, but he didn’t pause. “It was during my recovery that I truly became a believer and felt God telling me to give up that life. It wasn’t what he wanted for me. Around about that time, Bozeman needed a new sheriff and I got the job. So, that’s my history in a nutshell. Oh, and by the way, I never, ever took a bribe, not before I was sheriff, nor after.”
Her heart exulted in this information, and it was clearly the truth. All the information given to her by Johnny Kingston was not, but why had it happened? Perhaps it was a mystery that would forever remain unsolvable and she would just have to deal with it.
“I’m sorry that I doubted you. I want to blame my nerves and the situation, but the truth is that my life has been easy and clear up until now. Nothing has really been tested before, not my loyalties, nor my faith, nor my relationships.”
Jackson was silent for a moment. “It’s a blessing, in a way, if you choose to think of it like that. When we are tested, we find out what we’re made of, if we’re strong.”
“I guess I failed on every front then,” she replied miserably. “I ran away at the first sign of trouble and then continued to fail when I got here.”
“The failure isn’t in doubt, but in how we act after we’ve been shown we’re wrong.”
He was rewarded with a small smile. “How did you get to be so wise?” she asked, wiping away a tear.
“Experience,” he answered honestly. “I was a shallow person because I didn’t rise to meet my challenges, but ran away through drinking and gambling. I just wanted to forget my miserable life, and it seemed to work for a short time, but my choices caught up with me.”
Turning to look at him, she saw the raw pain in his eyes. “But you’re different now. What happened exactly?”
Taking a deep breath, he seemed to be shoring up the energy to rehash his hardship. “Well, it’s quite simple. When I was lying on that cot in the doctor’s office, I felt the life draining out of me. I regretted so much of what I’d done and how I’d caused my sister so much pain. I wished that I could have my life back so that I could make a better go of it.”
Fascinated, she hung on his every word. “And that
’s when you met the preacher?”
“Yep. He was right there and asking me if I was ready to meet my Maker.”
“What did you say?” She wasn’t aware that she was holding her breath.
“I said, heck no, or something similar. He grinned at me and then told me I’d better make up my mind to get better so that I could get myself ready. And in short, that’s what I did. After that, I came up here and been living pretty clean ever since.”
Charlie let out the breath she’d been holding. “My story isn’t anywhere near as dramatic, but I feel pretty lost. I keep turning to God when I need something, but that’s not working out for me too well.”
“Usually doesn’t. It’s about giving it all up, good and bad and letting God take care of you.”
The wise words settled around her heart and for the first time, she felt the truth of them. She wasn’t in control, and she never would be. It was about letting God work through her.
“I want to do that,” she whispered. “Will you show me how?”
“I certainly will, ma’am. It would be my pleasure.”
A feeling of lightness overwhelmed her and she recognized that she was at peace. At long last, she had peace and hope for the future.
The next two weeks passed by in a slow, lazy bliss of long walks, picnics in the nearby woods and daily readings of God’s word. Slowly, Charlie felt herself letting go of her preconceived notions of God. He wasn’t a far off Being, just remotely interested in their lives. He was present in their every moment. Jackson helped her to see that. She told him this on a warm September afternoon.
“I’m glad,” he replied. “I know I was hot-tempered before I took up the faith serious-like, and that comes back every now and again, but for the most part, I feel pretty content.”