by Lea Coll
Really? You just saw him a few weeks ago where you led a riveting conversation about where you live and how you’d love to see him sometime. Blood pounded in my ears.
I couldn’t hear his response since his back was to me, but hers rang out loud and clear. “I’m so happy to see you again.”
Yes, we know it’s been two whole weeks. How did you survive?
Emma nudged me and whispered, “Who’s that?”
I shrugged. “Someone he used to know.”
“Do you want to meet up after?” Summer asked.
“Can’t today, I have plans with friends,” Logan said.
Plans with friends? Technically that was true, but it was a perfect opportunity for him to say I have plans with my girlfriend. We weren’t official, but I hoped I wasn’t wrong in assuming we were exclusive.
“Another time, then?” Her eyes were filled with so much hope, her boobs were pushed out and her damn hand was still on his arm. I wanted to wrap my hand around her wrist and yank her off, but I restrained myself. I was more curious to see how Logan handled it.
Even though I couldn’t see his face, I could imagine Logan with his charm turned up high—sparkling blue eyes, dimples out, and she was the only woman in his sight. I wanted to snap her like a twig. I’d never been this jealous before in my life.
I couldn’t ignore it any longer, so I took the few steps to step in front of Logan. “Logan! Hi! You ready for the run?” He’d made me feel special, like I was the only woman for him. I saw it. I saw our future. Maybe it was stupid, but I had completely fallen for him.
He at least looked guilty, eyes darting from Summer to me.
“I’ll see you around, Logan,” Summer said, giving his arm one more squeeze before she blended into the rest of the crowd.
“You don’t think I was flirting, do you?” His words were slow and measured like he was trying to not to make a misstep.
I cocked a brow at him but tried to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down before I said something unreasonable. “Maybe,” I admitted quietly.
“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a step closer to me. “I should have told her I was meeting with my girlfriend later.”
Pleased he’d called me his girlfriend, I felt better. “And to remove her hand?”
“I never know how to navigate these things. I don’t want to be rude, but please know I didn’t want her to touch me.”
He was sincere. “Okay.”
“Ready for the race?” Luke asked, coming up to us with Emma at his side, concerned eyes on me.
“Yes.” And I was. I still felt energized from confronting Logan.
“Good luck. Remember to pace yourself. You’re going to do great,” Logan said, squeezing my arm before he went with Luke to the starting line.
“Are you okay?” Emma asked.
“Yup. We talked about it. I don’t think he means to lead these girls on; he goes about it the wrong way.”
“It’s good you talked to him instead of jumping to conclusions,” Emma said, right before the horn sounded and the racers were off. I was glad I had talked to him. His charm concerned me and I didn’t want to worry about how he acted when I wasn’t around.
“Hey, slow down. You’re running really fast.”
I tried to slow down, but anxiety over Logan and work pushed me. “It would be just my luck for the firm to hire the fastest runner for the position, which is Logan.”
“It would be ridiculous if they did that.”
“They asked me if I was married during my job interview. Ridiculous should be in the partner name—Gunner Ridiculous & Anderson.”
“You’re hilarious today!” Stella said from my other side.
“Hey! Where did you come from?” I asked.
“I didn’t know you were running,” Emma said.
“I wasn’t, or I didn’t intend to. I thought it would be fun,” Stella said.
“You thought it would be fun to run three miles without any training?” Emma asked.
“You don’t get a real feel for it unless you actually run the race,” Stella said.
I was grateful for the distraction Stella provided. Logan was different with me, but if he still flirted with other women, where did that leave me? Would I need to get used to it if I wanted to continue to date him? If I asked him to, would he stop, could he?
We ran through the finish line, grabbing water from the outstretched hands of the volunteers, looking for the guys, who should have finished ahead of us.
“Great time, ladies. Nine-minute miles,” Logan said as we approached.
“She was running really fast. I could barely keep up,” Stella said, resting her hands on her knees, breathing hard.
“You didn’t train, Stella,” I said, laughing.
“You were running fast. You almost killed me,” Emma said.
I lifted my shirt to wipe the sweat from my face and caught Logan eyes following my movements. Seeing the effect I had on him usually turned me on, but the partners stood next to us and I could see Jillian watching us. “I’m surprised the partners ran.”
“The partners get a gym membership paid by the firm, so I think they work out,” Logan said.
“I can’t believe they made you wear those ridiculous firm T-shirts,” Stella said.
“Yeah, the firm wants to be more involved in community events. They call it brand awareness or something,” Logan said looking down at his blue T-shirt with Gunner, Thompson & Anderson written on the front.
“At least they don’t have some tacky line like “If you have a phone book, you have a lawyer,” Emma said, quoting one of the well known Baltimore personal injury firms.
“Not many people use phone books anymore. And don’t say that too loud or they’ll come up with a tagline for us to wear,” I said.
“Did Sadie run?” Emma asked. “We should have invited her to run with us.”
“That would have been a good idea.” I wanted to be friends with her, or at least be friendly, but between Logan and work, I hadn’t made enough effort.
“I’m the clear winner. That means I got the job,” Logan said.
“Good grief. I hope your job doesn’t come down to how fast you can run a mile,” Stella said, nudging Luke’s arm. “Can you see the cartoon in the paper now? Sadie, Logan, and Ashley in running gear gunning for the finish line with the caption: Who will win the position?”
“That’s good,” Luke said, pretending to think on it. “You should probably tell the cartoonist your idea.”
Stella snorted. “I thought I just did.”
“Hopefully, they make a decision soon and put us out of our misery,” I said as Sadie, her face flushed and sweaty, came up to us clutching her bottle of water.
“Hey, can’t breathe,” she said as we laughed.
“Me neither. That about killed me,” Stella said.
“Why did you run the race, Stella?” Sawyer asked.
“She wanted to experience it so she could write an article about it,” Emma explained.
“You’re very dedicated to your job,” Sawyer said.
“That’s right. I am.” Stella placed a hand on Sawyer’s shoulder as she pulled her foot up behind her to stretch her quad. “I’m trying to prove myself. My boss is coming down on everyone because the paper is losing money and readership. I’m the newest hire, so most likely to be—” she drew her finger across her throat.
Stella put her foot down and felt Sawyer’s biceps. “You’ve been holding out on me! Your arms and shoulders are cut. You must workout.”
Sawyer’s cheeks turned pink at the attention. “I coach the women’s rowing team; you need upper body muscles to do it.”
Logan grabbed a bunch of bananas and brought them over to us. “Here, eat these so you don’t get cramps, and keep drinking water.” I felt his concerned gaze on mine as I peeled the banana.
Richard approached us. “Thanks for running today, guys.”
“Of course,” Logan said, smiling and shaking his h
ead. The firm mandated our participation, but I guessed a thanks was nice.
“You don’t have to go to the office today, but I’ll be there,” Richard said.
It was heavily implied that if a partner was the office, the associates were expected to be there too.
“I’ll see you there then,” Logan said.
Richard looked at Sadie and I, so we nodded too.
When they left, Sadie said, “I was hoping to get the rest of the day off. I have something I need to—I’d better go take a shower and get to work. See you later,” Sadie said as she hurried off.
“Those are the most words I’ve ever heard her say,” Logan said.
“She’s the quiet one who’s going to steal our jobs out from under us,” I said.
“Wasn’t that the point of the cartoon in the paper?” Stella asked. “You guys are duking it out and she’s on the sidelines plotting your demise.”
My eyes narrowed on Luke. “Yeah, Luke. Please explain to us the meaning behind the cartoon submitted to the paper.”
“I had nothing to do with it. Stella wants you to think it’s me,” Luke said.
“You’re the only one I know who draws like that,” Emma said.
Sawyer slapped him on his back. “I know it was you, man. Own up to it already.”
I tuned out my friends joking around and the din of the crowd. I needed to make a decision about Cal’s offer. The more I thought about what he’d said, the less I wanted to work at Gunner where the energy was toxic, and my chances of making partner were slim. My heart was still racing even though we’d stopped running a while ago.
IN HIS SPARE TIME, LOGAN was helping Riley with a house she was flipping, and we took a break from running now that the race was over, so I didn’t see him much. The extra sleep would have been nice if I could sleep past five A.M, but a combination of being so used to getting up at that time and the stress over Logan and his dad’s job offer had me up early anyway.
Thursday after the race, I was out of the office all day in depositions. Afterward, I headed home to take Bailey out. We walked through downtown, and I felt a little guilty for not working late, but I could dictate my notes on the depositions at home.
The next day, we had negotiations for Kings Construction. All three associates were supposed to be in on the meeting with Richard to observe. I was just happy to be included—it could be a great learning opportunity for me.
So far, Jillian hadn’t mentioned anything else to me about my relationship with Logan. I wasn’t sure how much it would affect my job or if she would say anything to the partners. I figured the writing was on the wall as far as being chosen for the position since the firm was leaning toward a man and Jillian was not on my side.
If Logan could help them sign Kings Construction on as a client, I’m sure the job would be his.
I didn’t want to resent him because the partners were a bunch of sexist assholes. It wasn’t Logan’s fault that he knew a potentially large client for Gunner. As much as I used to hold these things against him, it wasn’t fair. But could he fault me for exploring job opportunities, even if they were with his dad?
Since I was free, I texted Kristen about coming to family dinner night. When she responded that it was happening, I decided to bring Bailey along so he wouldn’t be cooped up in my apartment. Besides, my dad had always loved dogs too. I kept telling myself I’d search for a bigger house with a yard as soon as my job at Gunner was settled. With the salary Cal offered, I could afford to move.
I pulled up the long driveway of the rancher, parked behind Kristen’s car, and walked up to the brick path to the front door with its long covered porch, and walked in without knocking. I vowed not to fall into our traditional roles inside these walls, where my mom encouraged me to brag about my work accomplishments.
“We’re in the sunroom, dear,” Mom called from the back of the house.
Bailey and I made our way down the long hallway lined with photos of our life, which mainly consisted of Kristen’s dance competitions and my graduation pictures, to the large window-filled sunroom. My dad and Kristen were already seated at the large farm table with eyes on the news playing on the TV mounted on the wall directly above the fireplace.
“I feel so out of touch. I haven’t had time to watch or read the news online,” I said.
“We were just getting ready to eat,” Mom said, hugging me. It felt great to be home. I’d missed seeing my family.
“Who’s this cutie?” Dad asked as Bailey ran around the room, smelling everyone.
“This is Bailey. I adopted him a few weeks ago.” I needed to do a better job of contacting my parents.
“Oh, that’s right, Kristen mentioned you wanted to get a dog. How do you have the time?” Mom asked.
“Logan and Emma help take him out. Though I want to rent or buy a home with a yard for him,” I said. I didn’t say that I hoped my time would free up soon, because I didn’t feel like accepting Cal’s offer was a real option. Not with Logan’s response to that up in the air.
We ate lasagna and garlic bread while Kristen updated them on her new dance business. “It’s nothing fancy yet, but I have so many plans.”
“Did you decide if you were going to hire Sadie?” I was curious why Sadie would think she had time for a second job and why she needed one.
“I told her I could hire her in a few months. She was anxious to start earlier but I just can’t afford her yet.”
Why was Sadie so pressed to make more money? It had to be more than student loans. I was happy for Kristen and her success, but I felt a twinge of jealousy that she was going after what she wanted. It was her dream to own a dance studio. As a child, the dance studio had been her haven, the place she shined. She’d struggled in my shadow at school and now it seemed like she’d surpassed me.
For the first time, I was confused about what I wanted. My job was not what I expected. Cal’s job offer was more and more appealing, even though accepting it might be a problem for Logan. I wished that wasn’t the case. Kristen passionately spoke about her dance studio plans and I wanted to be excited about my work too.
I’d chosen my education and career over men in the past. Was I ready to throw away the opportunity to work at Cal’s firm, to be a partner and owner one day, in order to explore this thing with Logan?
“How’s it going at your job, Ashley?” Dad asked.
“Eh, everything is in limbo right now,” I said, leaning back in my chair, my hand over my stuffed stomach.
“That’s right. I read in the paper that you’re competing for the position,” Dad said.
And again I was reminded that I didn’t tell my parents anything about my life anymore. It wasn’t so much that I was busy, but I worried they’d see this as a failure.
“Are you sure you want to work someplace like that?” Mom asked.
“That’s the question,” I said.
Dad and Kristen stood to clear their dishes and when I rose to do the same, my mom held her hand up for me to wait.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Mom said.
“About what?” Was this going to be one of her pep talks where she told me to buckle down and keep my eye on the prize? That there was no time for boyfriends, dances, or sports? I’d heard it all in school and I was so over it.
“I’m concerned about this new job. You’ve worked hard before but now we never see you.”
I raised my brows in surprise. She usually wanted me to work hard. “I know. It’s what I expected, but it’s tougher than I thought.”
“I’m concerned. I pushed you too hard.”
My mouth dropped open slightly not knowing how to respond.
“I don’t understand why you’re working twenty-four seven for this firm. It’s not healthy. If you get this job, do you think they’ll make you partner? Or will they require more hours with the promise of being partner one day? Even if you became partner, what then? It won’t ease up.”
I shifted in my chair because that was exactly what
would happen.“I thought you wanted me to be career-minded.”
“I do, but not like this.”
“I’m a little confused because you’ve always pushed me so hard.” I tried to understand what she was saying. Should I tell her the truth? How my parents arguing about money and school loans affected me? I heard my dad loading the dishwasher in the other room, so I said, “When I was young, I heard you guys arguing about you staying home, finances being tight, and how Dad didn’t want to pay your school loans. I don’t want that. I want to provide for myself.” It seemed to me that she felt like a burden to my dad and I never wanted to feel like that.
She winced at my words. “I didn’t realize that our financial troubles affected you so much.”
“That’s why you pushed me so hard, right? Because you saw potential in me and you wanted me to reach my it and be independent—not let a man or a family get in my way?” I asked gently.
“I wanted you to be independent and you are, but I don’t want it to the detriment of your health and well being. You’re working too hard. It’s only a matter of time before you screw something up at work or have a mental breakdown. You have to take care of yourself.”
“So you think I should quit?” I asked, a little upset she thought I might screw something up at work.
“No, that’s for you to decide. I want you to reevaluate your definition of success. It took me a long time to realize it myself, but for me, success is the relationships we build, the people we surround ourselves with, and how kind we are to other people.”
I’d never heard my mom speak like this before. What had changed to make her tell me this?
“Yeah, sis,” Kristen said as she entered the room. “I don’t like how much you’re working either.”
“What made you change your mind?” I asked my mom. She was a different person than the mother who raised me. I felt like the bottom had just dropped out on me.
“I never told you guys, but I had a breast cancer scare last year,” she said, absently folding her napkin over and over again.
I gasped and Kristen leaned forward in her chair, eyes wide. I couldn’t believe she’d never said anything. “Why did you wait to tell us until now?”