“Because I like you too much,” she said hoarsely, and then walked quickly away from him.
It gave him quite a turn. He wanted her as he’d never wanted a woman before. What she’d said finished him. He’d been thinking of her a lot, and he’d looked forward to the evenings they spent together as he’d never looked forward to anything in his life. For the first time he was uncertain of himself. She was above him in every way, what with her father making money hand over fist and her education and everything, and him only a postman. They had made a date for the following Friday night and he was in a fever of anxiety lest she shouldn’t come. He repeated to himself over and over again what she’d said: perhaps it meant that she’d made up her mind to drop him. When at last he saw her walking along the street he almost sobbed with relief. That evening he neither put his arm round her nor took her hand and when he walked her home he never said a word.
“You’re very quiet tonight, Fred,” she said at last. “What’s the matter with you?”
He walked a few steps before he answered.
“I don’t like to tell you.”
She stopped suddenly and looked up at him. There was terror on her face.
“Tell me whatever it is,” she said unsteadily.
“I’m gone, I can’t help myself, I’m so stuck on you I can’t see straight. I didn’t know what it was to love like I love you.”
“Oh, is that all? You gave me such a fright. I thought you were going to say you were going to be married.”
“Me? Who d’you take me for? It’s you I want to marry.”
“Well, what’s to prevent you, silly?”
“Gracie! D’you mean it?”
He flung his arms round her and kissed her full on the mouth. She didn’t resist. She returned his kiss and he felt in her a passion as eager as his own.
They arranged that Gracie should tell her parents that she was engaged to him and that on the Sunday he should come and be introduced to them. Since the shop stayed open late on Saturday and by the time Mr Carter got home he was tired out, it was not till after dinner on Sunday that Gracie broke her news. George Carter was a brisk, not very tall man, but sturdy, with a high colour, who with increasing prosperity had put on weight. He was more than rather bald and he had a bristle of grey moustache. Like many another employer who had risen from the working class he was a slave-driver and he got as much work out of his assistants for as little money as was possible. He had an eye for every thing and he wouldn’t put up with any nonsense, but he was reasonable and even kindly, so that they did not dislike him. Mrs Carter was a quiet, nice woman, with a pleasant face and the remains of good looks. They were both in the early fifties, for they had married late after “walking out’ for nearly ten years.
They were very much surprised when Gracie told them what she had to tell, but not displeased.
“You’re a sly one,” said her father. “Why, I never suspected for a minute you’d taken up with anyone. Well, I suppose it had to come sooner or later. What’s his name?”
“Fred Manson.”
“A fellow you met at college?”
“No. You must have seen him about. He clears our pillar-box. He’s a postman.”
“Oh, Gracie,” cried Mrs Carter, “you can’t mean it. You can’t marry a common postman, not after all the education we’ve given you.”
For an instant Mr Carter was speechless. He got redder in the face than ever.
“Your ma’s right, my girl,” he burst out now. “You can’t throw yourself away like that. Why, it’s ridiculous.”
“I’m not throwing myself away. You wait till you see him.”
Mrs Carter began to cry.
“It’s such a come-down. It’s such a humiliation. I shall never be able to hold up my head again.”
“Oh, Ma, don’t talk like that. He’s a nice fellow and he’s got a good job.”
“You don’t understand,” she moaned.
“How d’you get to know him?” Mr Carter interrupted. “What sort of family’s he got?”
“His pa drives one of the post-office vans,” Gracie answered defiantly.
“Working-class people.”
“Well, what of it? His pa’s worked twenty-four years for the post-office and they think a lot of him.”
Mrs Carter was biting the corner of her handkerchief.
“Gracie, I want to tell you something. Before your pa and me got married I was in domestic service. He wouldn’t ever let me tell you because he didn’t want you to be ashamed of me. That’s why we was engaged all those years. The lady I was with said she’d leave me something in her will if I stayed with her till she passed away.”
“It was that money that gave me my start,” Mr Carter broke in. “Except for that I’d never have been where I am today. And I don’t mind telling you you’re ma’s the best wife a man ever had.”
“I never had a proper education,” Mrs Carter went on, “but I always was ambitious. The proudest moment of my life was when your pa said we could afford a girl to help me and he said then: ‘The time’ll come when you have a cook and a house-maid,’ and he’s been as good as his word, and now you’re going back to what I come from. I’d set my heart on your marrying a gentleman.”
She began crying again. Gracie loved her parents and couldn’t bear to see them so distressed.
“I’m sorry, Ma, I knew it would be a disappointment to you, but I can’t help it, I can’t really. I love him so. I love him so terribly. I’m sure you’ll like him when you see him. We’re going for a walk on the Common this afternoon. Can’t I bring him back to supper?”
Mrs Carter gave her husband a harassed look. He sighed.
“I don’t like it and it’s no good pretending I do, but I suppose we’d better have a look at him.”
Supper passed off better than might have been expected. Fred wasn’t shy, and he talked to Gracie’s parents as though he had known them all his life. If to be waited on by a maid, if to sup in a dining-room furnished in solid mahogany and afterwards to sit in a drawing-room that had a grand piano in it was new to him, he showed no embarrassment. After he had gone and they were alone in their bedroom Mr and Mrs Carter talked him over.
“He is handsome, you can’t deny that,” she said.
“Handsome is as handsome does. D’you think he’s after her money?”
“Well, he must know that you’ve got a tidy little bit tucked away somewhere, but he’s in love with her all right.”
“Oh, what makes you think that?”
“Why, you’ve only got to see the way he looks at her.”
“Well, that’s something at all events.”
In the end the Carters withdrew their opposition on the condition that the young things shouldn’t marry until Gracie had taken her degree. That would give them a year, and at the back of their minds was the hope that by then she would have changed her mind. They saw a good deal of Fred after that. He spent every Sunday with them. Little by little they began quite to like him. He was so easy, so gay, so full of high spirits, and above all so obviously head over ears in love with Gracie, that Mrs Carter soon succumbed to his charm, and after a while even Mr Carter was prepared to admit that he didn’t seem a bad fellow. Fred and Gracie were happy. She went to London every day to attend lectures and worked hard. They spent blissful evenings together. He gave her a very nice engagement ring and often took her out to dinner in the West End and to a play. On fine Sundays he drove her out into the country in a car that he said a friend had lent him. When she asked him if he could afford all the money he spent on her he laughed, and said a chap had given him a tip on an outsider and he’d made a packet. They talked interminably of the little flat they would have when they were married and the fun it would be to furnish it. They were more in love with one another than ever.
Then the blow fell. Fred was arrested for stealing money from the letters he collected. Many people, to save themselves the trouble of buying postal orders, put notes in their envelopes, and it
wasn’t difficult to tell that they were there. Fred went up for trial, pleaded guilty, and was sentenced to two years’ hard labour. Gracie went to the trial. Up to the last moment she had hoped that he would be able to prove his innocence. It was a dreadful shock to her when he pleaded guilty. She was not allowed to see him. He went straight from the dock to the prison van. She went home and, locking herself up in her bedroom, threw herself on the bed and wept. When Mr Carter came back from the shop Gracie’s mother went up to her room.
“Gracie, you’re to come downstairs,” she said. “Your father wants to speak to you.”
Gracie got up and went down. She did not trouble to dry her eyes.
“Seen the paper?” he said, holding out to her the Evening News. She didn’t answer.
“Well, that’s the end of that young man,” he went on harshly.
They too, Grade’s parents, had been shocked when Fred was arrested, but she was so distressed, she was so convinced that everything could be explained, that they hadn’t had the heart to tell her that she must have nothing more to do with him. But now they felt it time to have things out with her.
“So that’s where the money came from for those dinners and theatres. And the car. I thought it funny he should have a friend who’d lend him a car on Sundays when he’d be wanting it himself. He hired it, didn’t he?”
“I suppose so,” she answered miserably. “I just believed what he told me.”
“You’ve had a lucky escape, my girl, that’s all I can say.”
“He only did it because he wanted to give me a good time. He didn’t want me to think I couldn’t have everything as nice when I was with him as what I’ve been used to at home.”
“You’re not going to make excuses for him, I hope. He’s a thief, that’s what he is.”
“I don’t care,” she said sullenly.
“You don’t care? What d’you mean by that?”
“Exactly what I say. I’m going to wait for him and the moment he comes out I’m going to marry him.”
Mrs Carter gave a gasp of horror.
“Gracie, you can’t do a thing like that,” she cried. “Think of the disgrace. And what about us? We’ve always held our heads high. He’s a thief, and once a thief always a thief.”
“Don’t go on calling him a thief,” Gracie shrieked, stamping her foot with rage. “What he did he did just because he loved me. I don’t care if he is a thief. I love him more than I ever loved him. You don’t know what love is. You waited ten years to marry Pa just so as an old woman should leave you some money. D’you call that love?”
“You leave your ma out of this,” Mr Carter shouted. Then an idea occurred to him and he gave a piercing glance. “Have you got to marry the feller?”
Gracie blushed furiously.
“No. There’s never been anything of that sort. And not through any fault of mine either. He loved me too much. He didn’t want to do anything perhaps he’d regret afterwards.”
Often on summer evenings in the country when they’d been lying in a field in one another’s arms, mouth to mouth, her desire had been as intense as his. She knew how much he wanted her and she was ready to give him what he asked. But when things got too desperate he’d suddenly jump up and say:
“Come on, let’s walk.”
He’d drag her to her feet. She knew what was in his mind. He wanted to wait till they were married. His love had given him a delicacy of sentiment that he’d never known before. He couldn’t make it out himself, but he had a funny sort of feeling about her, he felt that if he had her before marriage it would spoil things. Because she guessed what was in his heart she loved him all the more.
“I don’t know what’s come over you,” moaned Mrs Carter. “You was always such a good girl. You’ve never given us a day’s uneasiness.”
“Stop it, Ma,” said Mr Carter violently. “We’ve got to get this straight once and for all. You’ve got to give up this man, see? I’ve got me own position to think of and if you think I’m going to have a gaol-bird for a son-in-law you’d better think again. I’ve had enough of this nonsense. You’ve got to promise me that you’ll have nothing more to do with the feller ever.”
“D’you think I’m going to give him up now? How often d’you want me to tell you I’m going to marry him the moment he gets out?”
“All right, then you can get out of my house and get out pretty damn quick. And stay out.”
“Pa!” cried Mrs Carter.
“Shut up.”
“I’ll be glad to go,” said Gracie.
“Oh, will you? And how d’you think you’re going to live?”
“I can work, can’t I? I can get a job at Payne and Perkins. They’ll be glad to have me.”
“Oh, Gracie, you couldn’t go and work in a shop, you can’t demean yourself like that,” said Mrs Carter.
“Will you shut up, Ma,” shouted Mr Carter, beside himself now with rage. “Work, will you? You that’s never done a stroke of work in your life except that tomfoolery at the college. Bright idea it was of your ma’s to give you an education. Fat lot of good it’ll be to you when you’ve got to stand on your feet for hours and got to be civil and pleasant to a lot of old trouts who just try and give you all the trouble they can just to show how superior they are. I bet you’ll like it when you’re bawled out by the manageress because you’re not bright and snappy. All right, marry your gaol-bird. I suppose you know you’ll have to keep him too. You don’t think anyone’s going to give him a job, do you, not with his record. Get out, get out, get out.”
He had worked himself up to such a pitch of fury that he sank panting into a chair. Mrs Carter, frightened, poured out a glass of water and gave him some to drink. Gracie slipped out of the room.
Next day, when her father had gone to work and her mother was out shopping, she left the house with such effects as she could get into a suit-case. Payne and Perkins was a large department store in the Brixton Road, and with her good appearance and pleasant manner she found no difficulty in getting taken on. She was put in the ladies’ lingerie. For a few days she stayed at the Y. W.C.A. and then arranged to share a room with one of the girls who worked with her.
Ned Preston saw Fred in the evening of the day he went to gaol. He found him shattered, but only because of Gracie. He took his thieving very lightly.
“I had to do the right thing by her, didn’t I? Her people, they didn’t think I was good enough for her; I wanted to show them I was just as good as they were. When we went up to the West End I couldn’t give her a sandwich and half of bitter in a pub, why, she’s never been in a pub in her life, I had to take her to a restaurant. If people are such fools as to put money in letters, well, they’re just asking for it.”
But he was frightened. He wasn’t sure that Gracie would see it like that.
“I’ve got to know what she’s going to do. If she chucks me now-well, it’s the end of everything for me, see? I’ll find some way of doing meself in, I swear to God I will.”
He told Ned the whole story of his love for Gracie.
“I could have had her over and over again if I’d wanted to. And I did want to and so did she. I knew that. But I respected her, see? She’s not like other girls. She’s one in a thousand, I tell you.”
He talked and talked. He stormed, he wept. From that confused torrent of words emerged one thing very clearly. A passionate, a frenzied love. Ned promised that he would see the girl.
“Tell her I love her, tell her that what I did I just did because I wanted her to have the best of everything, and tell her I just can’t live without her.”
As soon as he could find time Ned Preston went to the Carters’ house, but when he asked for Gracie the maid who opened the door told him that she didn’t live there any more. Then he asked to see her mother.
“I’ll go and see if she’s in.”
He gave the maid his card, thinking the name of his club engraved in the corner would impress Mrs Carter enough to make her willing to see him. The
maid left him at the door, but in a minute or two asked him to come in. He was shown into the stiff and little-used sitting-room. Mrs Carter kept him waiting for some time and when she came in, holding his card in the tips of her fingers, he guessed it was because she had thought fit to change her dress. The black silk she wore was evidently a dress for occasions. He told her his connexion with Wormwood Scrubs and said that he had to do with a man named Frederick Manson. The moment he mentioned the name Mrs Carter assumed a hostile attitude.
“Don’t speak to me of that man,” she cried. “A thief, that’s what he is. The trouble he’s caused us. They ought to have given him five years, they ought.”
“I’m sorry he’s caused you trouble,” said Ned mildly. “Perhaps if you’d give me a few facts I might help to straighten things out.”
Ned Preston certainly had a way with him. Perhaps Mrs Carter was impressed because he was a gentleman. “Class he is,” she probably said to herself. Anyhow it was not long before she was telling him the whole story. She grew upset as she told it and began to cry.
“And now she’s gone and left us. Run away. I don’t know how she could bring herself to do a thing like that. God knows, we love her. She’s all we’ve got and we done everything in the world for her. Her pa never meant it when he told her to get out of the house. Only she was so obstinate. He got in a temper, he always was a quick-tempered man, he was just as upset as I was when we found she’d gone. And d’you know what she’s been and gone and done? Got herself a job at Payne and Perkins. Mr Carter can’t abide them. Cutting prices all the time they are. Unfair competition, he calls it. And to think of our Gracie working with a lot of shop-girls-oh, it’s so humiliating.”
Ned made a mental note of the store’s name. He hadn’t been at all sure of getting Grade’s address out of Mrs Carter.
“Have you seen her since she left you?” he asked.
“Of course I have. I knew they’d jump at her at Payne and Perkins, a superior girl like that, and I went there, and there she was, sure enough-in the ladies’ lingerie. I waited outside till closing time and then I spoke to her. I asked her to come home. I said her pa was willing to let bygones be bygones. And d’you know what she said? She said she’d come home if we never said a word against Fred and if we was prepared to have her marry him as soon as ever he got out. Of course I had to tell her pa. I never saw him in such a state, I thought he was going to have a fit, he said he’d rather see her dead at his feet than married to that gaol-bird.”
The Complete Short Stories of W. Somerset Maugham - II - The World Over Page 72