“There are reasons for that, you know," Twilight allowed from under her chair.
“And I don’t suppose you feel like telling me what they are?”
“All in good time, my mistress.” Her cat sounded positively smug, gnawing on his prize.
Josie blinked. “Why are we going on about Jessica’s familiar again?”
Alex stared hard at Jess.
“What? I have nothing to do with it,” Jess insisted, even as Alex hastily pulled out a small role of parchment, scribbling madly for some minutes before rubbing his brow.
“Damn it! I’m losing my train of thought. What was I writing about?”
Jess sighed. "No doubt you were scribbling madly about my invisible kitty blatantly strutting about with a freshly caught perch, and you suddenly realizing that yes, he was real and yes, he interacts with the world, but he slips from your mind as if you were freshly wakened from the Dreamrealm. Or something to that effect, I'm sure."
Alex blushed, smiling his thanks, scribbling madly as Jess spoke. He shuddered as he rolled up his parchment. “Somehow I doubt I’ll remember to even read this, but at least I tried.”
Jess grinned “Somehow, I think you're right. And I always forget to remind you as well. But it could be worse! At least I’m not forced to clean up cat dung.”
“I heard that,” Twilight huffed.
Jess smirked. "I know."
Not unexpectedly, the mealtime conversation flowed on to other topics, Twilight's antics soon forgotten by all save Jess, as was so often the case, the discourse at last broaching that issue all were afraid to address too quickly in deference to the recently recovered member of their band, the fate of the grand melee just past.
“So what was the final decision?” Jess asked breathlessly, at which point she smiled, feeling a familiar hand give her shoulder an affectionate squeeze as her shieldbrother sat down beside her.
“The verdict was, we trounced their knightly asses!” Malek declared. “And who, really, is surprised? We do so every year.”
Raphael flashed a mischievous smile. “But how they fought it! Knight Commander Hyve and a certain cohort of lords who, I have it on good authority, bet quite the pretty penny on the outcome of that contest, so certain they were that with you two out of the event, they stood a more than fair chance of beating General Eloquin’s commanders in training at last.
“Good authority, my ass.” Josie teased. “Your family fronted half the coin opposing them, after all!”
Raphael kissed Josie, whose lips curved into a soft smile. “A gentleman never tells, my dear. But if you recall, I was far too preoccupied that morning to even bother to attend the contest.” Josie blushed furiously even as the rest of the table laughed good-naturedly.
Raphael’s gaze when he met Malek and Jess’s was almost apologetic. “I do hope you two were not let down that I was... unable to attend.”
Malek chuckled softly. "I think I understand why. And not just for the reason my dear Jacob will not be attending lunch with us today," he assured a crimson-cheeked Josie. "Rather, if you or your family did have coin riding upon a certain outcome, Raphael, you would risk being accused of somehow influencing events, being as you are a student of the college and on excellent terms with any number of Knight Aspirants as well as Squires of War. However, if you chose not to even attend, you would be seen as being above reproach."
Alex nodded in agreement. “Particularly when the various lords in question opposing your family's bet were actively crying for the tournament to be forced to a draw, the knight commander having the gall to refute the decision of the very overseer of the entire tournament, insisting that he would only accept the ruling of the dean himself.
Malek's good-natured smile was gone in an instant, eyes flashing with darkly suppressed fury. "The way Lord Hyve manhandled poor Erica even as she cried out in pain, all in a vain effort to find a flag that was not even there, was beyond reprehensible. Even a fool could see the effect that had on the dean when he heard. How could that idiot think that Lord Echobart would do other than rule against him?"
Jess felt her heart race in sudden anxiety. By the gods, she hadn't even thought of her friend all morning. "Malek, how is she?" Breathless, suddenly queasy, Jess felt a curious roaring in her ears.
Malek gave Jess a tender squeeze. "All is well, shieldsister. Erica was battered but never really broken, it seems. Everyone expects she'll make a full recovery in no time. She's lucky, too. Since her beau's family lives nearby, Brynjar has been by her side since that first night."
Jess nodded, sagging against her comrade in sudden relief. “Thank the gods.”
Malek chuckled softly. "Believe me, no one is more relieved than Lord Hyve himself. As much as I detest the man, I can't deny that he was beside himself with contrition when Lord Eloquin coldly reminded him of how he should have known better than to jostle a gravely wounded soldier, especially over something so petty as a contest over flags. I have it on rumor, in fact, that he bowed before the dean himself, who, being the dean that we know and love, gently forgave his grievous transgressions as a temporary madness brought on in the heat of the moment, something which most soldiers have witnessed or been a part of at one time or another, according to Eloquin himself."
Malek's smile turned cynical. "Of course, it helps that both had just been given the verdict of Erica's expected full recovery, so I suppose we shall all pretend Hyve hadn't risked paralyzing or killing a student in a moment of craven greed."
Jess's cynical chuckle matched his own. "I suppose that is what we shall pretend then," she agreed, feeling oddly at peace in her shieldbrother's gentle embrace. She caught Jera's curious gaze then, and felt herself flushing for some odd reason.
“'Tis a shame you prefer the rakes, dear Malek,” Alex teased. “For otherwise you and your shieldsister would make a fine couple.”
Alex looked a bit nonplussed, however, when Jess and Malek burst into laughter at the very idea, even if Jess’s chuckle was more forced than not.
“Marry my sister? Are you mad!?" Malek grinned. "I'd fight by her side to the very gates of Hell, make no mistake, my friends. But she is most definitely sleeping in the adjoining room. Do you have any idea how this girl tosses and turns? I pity her future lovers."
“You're exaggerating," Jess mumbled, feeling her face turn crimson.
“Hardly, I had a black eye for two days when we were sleeping together."
This, of course, resulted in dead silence.
Malek flushed even as Jess hid her head in her arms, pretending she wasn’t there.
“What? It was almost three years ago!" A flustered Malek grumbled. "We were drunk and Jacob and I weren't a thing. We had some cider and joked what it would be like if we were lovers. We fell into bed, laughing and kissing, and the next thing you know I'm passed out, only to wake up with a black eye. And if anything more than that happened, that's between me and Jess. You guys can quit staring at us now."
“Anyway, I’m going to go check up on Erica. Coming Malek?” Jess abruptly declared, spinning out of her chair, doing all she could to avoid the too knowing stares of her friends.
“Ooh goody. Escaping awkward silence as inconspicuously as always,” Twilight noted, flowing up to his favorite perch.
“Precisely!" Jess concurred, ignoring Malek's soft chuckle behind her as they made their way to the healer's wing, their ebullient camaraderie while dining with their closest friends soon fading to anxious concern for their fallen sister-in-arms.
Jess was greeted by the same apprentice healer as before when she inquired after Erica, though the young man was in decidedly better spirits, more than happy to invite them in. “Lady Calenbry, it is good to see you! And looking so much better than you had when last we spoke,” the young man noted.
“Not surprising, really," Malek assured. "She has the vitality of an ox, and the common sense to match."
Jess gave no response save a quick elbow, her shieldbrother giving a satisfying grunt when her bl
ow hit home. “Never mind him. He’s often left breathless and whimpering by the sheer glory of my presence,” she assured the surprised looking young healer. “We actually came to inquire after Erica.”
“Yes. How is our sister-in-arms?" Malek wheezed once he had caught his breath.
The young man before them brightened visibly. "Remarkably well, all things considered. I will admit we were a bit concerned for a while there, but she's pulled through the worst of it, and is rapidly on the mend." His face suddenly took on a solemn cast. "Unfortunately, the savagery of the event she suffered has left its scars, I'm afraid. She is suffering from night terrors, a not uncommon hazard of the soldiering profession, as I'm sure you are both aware. But all in all, we are just happy her body is whole and hale once more. Master Jevons is sure her mind will find serenity with time and peaceful surroundings."
With those reassuring words the healer led the pair into the heart of the Healers Wing. Upon entering the room assigned to Erica, Jess and Malek were immediately welcomed by Brynjar, her fiancé, wrapping them both in warm hugs. Jess chuckled softly when Brynjar started to wheeze, quickly relaxing her heartfelt embrace.
“It is good to see you too, Brynjar. Erica is lucky to have you by her side during her time of need," Jess said.
Erica, pale-faced and wan, gazed fondly at her friends. “Jess. Malek. It is good to see you both.” She flashed them both a warm smile, struggling to sit up in her bed, helped by the middle-aged woman by her side who looked so very much like an older version of her.
Jess glanced at her brother-in-arms and together they bowed formally before the lady still caring for Erica. "Lady Convaya, it is a pleasure to meet you," Jess solemnly declared, inviting a warm smile from the lady in question, who quickly waved her hands, an unspoken insistence for informality.
“You must be Jessica and Malek, Erica's friends. Please, don't stand on formality for my sake. I can tell my daughter is pleased to see you. So rest assured, I am as well."
Jess smiled warmly. “Thank you, my lady. Erica is a true friend, and as brave a sister of the blade as I could hope to have at my side.”
Erica visibly paled at the expression, Lady Convaya's own gaze becoming one of thin-lipped disapproval, though her voice was still gracious enough. "I think perhaps my daughter has pursued the path of the warrior long enough to appreciate just how steep the price one pays for prowess and glory. She understands both its nobility, and its horror all too well now, and she has honored her father's memory as well as any son could have."
Jess felt her heart race as a shiver of dread quickened through her, seeing the gaze of terror upon her friend's gentle face. "Erica, what haunts you so?" Jess whispered aloud, ignoring Malek's hiss and gentle poke of rebuke.
For her friend gazed at her through eyes haunted by horrors that left Jess clenching for a hilt that was not there, her mind ringing with sudden panic, as if a terrible, otherworldly battle was about to be joined. “Erica, report! What did you see?” Jess knew not where the words came from, surprised to hear herself utter them at all, her tone one of alarm and command as well.
“Rest easy, shieldsister,” Malek soothed, even as her familiar butted his warm head against her cheek, purring his reassurance.
Lady Convaya herself gazed at Jess nonplussed, a bit shaken by her tone, even as Erica squeezed her mother's hand, silencing her before she could protest.
“It is not so bad as all of that, sister of the blade.” Erica’s smile was pained, and Jess felt a sudden stab of guilt, seeing how she gazed sadly at Jess, wanting to reassure her friend, when she was the one who was still in sickbed. “It's just the dreams I have.” Her gaze widened and she began to shake, gazing at horrors Jess could only imagine. “I know how terrible death is, I fear. I know the horrors that lie in wait on the other side of life.”
Erica broke down and wept like a child lost in nightmare, great wracking sobs tearing through her, overwhelmed by horrors unseen. "How stupid we all are, Jess. Throwing our lives away like flinging coin at a game of dice! Throwing for kings and Crowns, while our fellows die by the thousands!"
Jess felt her racing heart begin to pound all the harder, seeing such a look of naked terror upon her friend's face. “They don’t know the horror that waits for them on the other side. They don’t know how awful it is in that screaming darkness, Jess! They can’t fathom the blackness that would drag us all off to endless woe, kicking and shrieking as our flickering souls are pulled from the fading light of our fragile lives! And we throw so many lives away, so stupidly, not realizing how sacred our lives are, not realizing the terrible darkness that waits for us all!”
Erica began to keen like an animal in desperate pain, near inconsolable, curled up in a sobbing ball, her mother shaking her head, gazing at her daughter so forlornly. It tore at Jess’s heart to see. Lady Convaya's gaze, when she turned back to Jess and Malek, was hard as stone, for all that her words still held the grace of courtesy.
“I am afraid my daughter won’t be attending Highrock any longer. This place is doing her no good, I think. Already she suffers night terrors far worse than her father ever had, even after years of leading troops on the battlefield, after my daughter was so brutalized by that… monster.” She gazed directly at Jess, even as she approached Erica’s side, lost in a trance of her own. “I would very much appreciate it if you would leave now, Jessica de Calenbry. You may write to my daughter once she has returned home, and visit, perhaps, when she is feeling up to guests…”
Yet Jess ignored Lady Convaya’s increasingly insistent tone as she approached a shaking Erica, feeling oddly lost in a state between trance and dream, not knowing what she was going to do or say, only knowing that she must do something to ease her friend's pain.
Her gaze, so filled with heartfelt love and longing, was fastened upon Erica's agonized face. Gently, she compelled a shaking Erica to look at her. The young woman gasped as brilliant orbs of crimson and sapphire met her own. Erica desperately tried to blink, to turn her head away. Jess refused let her go.
“Erica.”
“Jess, what are you doing?” Erica’s voice held a note of rising panic, counterpoint to her mother’s discordant shouts for Jess to back away.
“Look at me, Erica.” Jess’s voice brooked no argument. Erica began to shake. Afraid.
“Look at me, Erica.” Something about her voice, perhaps. The room had gone utterly silent.
“I’m afraid.” Erica shook in terror. “I’m afraid of what I’ll see, Jess!”
“Erica. Look at me.” Her friend could resist no longer, sobbing as she was forced to gaze beyond brilliant orbs and deep into the heart of her terror.
And within moments, her panicked shaking slackened, her agonized gaze filled with wonder. “What does it mean, Jess?”
“What you are haunted with are the memories of your soul, Erica. The terrors of a time when there was only darkness. Before your spirit found that flicker of light, that gentle glow that guided you home. Do you remember what that light was, Erica?” Jess began to shake, not knowing where her words came from.
Solemnly, her friend nodded. “It’s the light from the garden, Jess.”
Jess nodded solemnly, knowing, somehow, that this was utterly true. "The place between this life and the next, Erica. It is your shelter. It is your home. It is where all souls go to rest between one life and the next. It is a bastion of peace riding atop the storms of Hell, far below. You are safe, dearest Erica. Safe in the Moonlit Garden. Between this life and all others." Jess gazed tenderly at her friend.
“Do you understand, Erica?”
Sobbing, shaking, her friend nodded, eyes clenched tight, haunted by unspeakable nightmares still.
“Then remember, my Erica. Always remember. When the night terrors strike, you have only to remember the light. Follow the light back to the garden. There you will be at peace. There you will be safe.”
Soft green eyes gazed at Jess, filled with desperate hope.
“Always remember t
he gentle sound of oak trees rustling in the wind, Erica. No demon can claim your soul there. Do you understand?”
“Yes!” Erica's eyes flooded with tears as she beheld the world she knew once more. Great wracking sobs tearing through her, an odd mixture of terror and relief both, and Jess spent some moments gently soothing her sobbing friend, stroking her hair, murmuring gentle imaginings of peaceful glades and moonlit gardens till at last her friend’s sobs eased completely, Erica’s eyes closing not in terror but in simple, gentle sleep.
When Jess looked up into Lady Convaya’s speechless gaze, she realized there was nothing she could say. Heart racing, it was all Jess could do to control herself, feeling the heavy resonance of her own words echo through her mind. Her suddenly panicked, screaming mind.
“Malek, to me!” She tightly called for her most loyal companion, instantly at her side. A gaze filled with questions, lips gently silent.
With that Jess slipped out of Erica's sickroom before Lady Convaya could formulate the words to ask a question that could never be taken back, that would force Jess to acknowledge the words she had said. A question Jess absolutely refused to hear. Heart racing in growing panic, Jess strode out of the Healers Wing at a brisk walk, utterly ignoring the warm greeting that soon became a query of concern from one Sir Jevons, her walk quickly breaking into a ground eating trot, as she and her shieldbrother raced for the training grounds.
Perhaps it was something in her gaze. Students and professors would take one glance at the pair racing through the hallways and instead of lectures on decorum they would shrink back, professorial looks of disapproval instantly transforming to genuine alarm.
And yet their pace was not enough. Jess needed to move. Faster.
And she did. Her muscles surging, propelling her forward, the corridor seeming to raced past her in a blur.
“Bloody hells, Jess.” Malek’s pace quickly matched her own.
And then they were out of the confining building, the walls no longer seeming to press so tightly about her, squeezing her in their stony embrace. Jess took a shuddering breath of cool autumn air, savoring the gentle play of light on her skin. The soft rustling of trees upon the edge of the training field soothing her, somehow, yet it was not enough.
Shadow Knight Page 19