Holidays in Blue

by Eve Morton

  I reached out for the drink knowing it would probably be too sweet. And that I would drink it anyway, because how could I not, when it was made for me with such love? It was still hard to believe sometimes that I had this life.

  I patted the spot on the bed next to me, as Yin blew on his own cup. “Come sit with me.”

  He held up a finger and looked down at his drink. “Let me wait until this cools down, because you know me, I’ll probably spill this all over the bed and then we’ll spend Christmas at the ER.” I had to bite back a laugh, because he was a little clumsy. So I waited patiently until he was ready.

  Yin finally took a small sip from his coffee and grimaced. “Yeah, the peppermint creamer isn’t really helping. I just don’t like coffee.” He looked so disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to partake in holiday themed caffeinating.

  “Tea?” I asked, as I took a few more sips of the minty coffee. Yin slumped his shoulders and dipped his head in defeat.

  “Yeah. I’ll go make myself some.” He shuffled back to the corner of our apartment that served as our kitchen. I felt the buzz of the caffeine waking up my brain as I placidly watched Yin move. My boyfriend, my man—my whole life if I was honest. I didn’t know how it was that I’d gotten so lucky, but I would never get tired of marveling at this little nest we’d made together. With the help of so many people, but still. Here we were. Some days I could just revel in that for hours. That Yin and I had managed to overcome as much as we did and end up here together. But that wasn’t quite true, we’d fought like hell to be here, both of us.

  Yin was slight and sunny, but he was also strong, and so smart. I pushed hard, driven to accomplish my goals, and he was the exact same way. He always said that we were both strivers. We had come up against so much to get here and we knew the value of every little thing we had. That kept us focused. And he was right of course, but for me it was more. He’s what brought everything together for me. It had been almost three years since I met him and I still could remember what I felt the moment I saw him.

  Yin made me feel so much back then that I was scared of it. I’d wanted him more than anything, I feared if I reached for him I’d ruin the friendship and that meant too much to risk. I just could not make myself believe that I could have so much. How could I be so lucky to have something like that in my life? So I kept him at bay, convinced just having him as a friend was an embarrassment of riches. But Yin wouldn’t let me deprive us for long, and after a year of resisting I finally fell.

  “Babe.” The smile in that one word brought me back from my errant thoughts. I lifted my head back up and I found Yin holding up tea canisters. We had at least a dozen of them, because like with everything else, my boyfriend’s tea preferences depended very much on his mood. I narrowed my eyes, trying to get a clearer view, but gave up and reached over to the side table for my glasses.

  “You like cinnamony things when it’s cold out,” I said, pointing at the one that said Apple Cinnamon Spice, then at the snow falling outside.

  “I do. See, you always know.” He smiled wide as he went back to his tea. I stayed in our bed, knowing he’d come back to me and we’d have a few more hours to play.

  I grinned as he hiked up the pajama bottoms with rainbow colored reindeer he’d let me talk him into and worked on getting himself sorted. I kept sipping on my coffee, which really was too sweet, as he puttered about, and let myself sink into the rightness of this moment. I looked around our place, taking my time to admire all the little details that Yin had added. There were holiday themed cushions. Garland around the door. Little lights hanging from the window frames. Yin had made a big deal out of our first Christmas living together and—even though he might’ve gone a little bit overboard—I had to admit, it looked beautiful. It was festive and so different than my life had been only a few months before.

  I hadn’t exactly been in a bad situation, I lived with my uncle who had a comfortable—if not very warm—home. I had a roof over my head, but I didn’t have this. A place of my own, a person who meant the world to me to come home to. I’d given up on trying to be religious long ago, but lately I’d started thinking more and more about gratitude. And that was exactly what was pulsing in my chest as I saw Yin come back to bed, gingerly drinking his tea with his thick black curls like a crown on his head.

  I grinned and lifted a corner of the comforter in invitation. “Come on, get in here. We have a morning off for once, and I want to spend it in here with you.”

  “Hmmm I don’t know. I was going to go to the mall for some last minute stuff.” I wanted to think he was kidding, but Yin had been increasingly intense—and a little secretive—about our Christmas gift exchange

  I shook my head incredulously. “You said you got all your shopping done on Black Friday,” I said, gesturing to the gifts he’d wrapped elaborately and placed under our tiny tree weeks ago. Granted most of those were for friends and family, but still. We’d both been running ourselves ragged, going to school full-time, and with two part-time jobs each, so we’d agreed not to overthink our gifts and do something simple. We’d even set a budget, nothing over a hundred dollars. Not that I had exactly observed that caveat.

  “I haven’t quite gotten all the gifts yet,” he explained as a very sly smile appeared on his face. “And I think you need to convince me. Why don’t you tell me three reasons why I should come to bed and not just stand here and sip my tea while I look at you? From where I’m standing it doesn’t get much better than this.” He lifted a hand as if to present me with the evidence. Never mind that exhibit A was my own torso. Yin loved to play like this, he could turn anything into a game. He grinned as I considered him, desire already coursing through me. I got a peek of that crooked eyetooth of his that made him look almost impish.

  “Come here.” I reached for him and he backed away laughing.

  “Nuh-uh. Those are not the rules of the game.”

  “You’re serious? Also when did we even start playing?” I asked, shaking my head, already caught up in him.

  He nodded as he gulped his tea. “Very.” He raised a finger and circled the air above my thighs. “You’ve got a lot of material to convince me. So...convince me.” Yin widened his eyes and licked his lips, making me laugh. I’d play with him. Because despite my griping, I loved when he did stuff like this, when he made me stop and be silly for a bit. I was not playful by nature, but for Yin I let myself have these moments of joy.

  Growing up I’d been the oldest of four and the only boy, and I had always taken myself a bit too seriously. Yin on the other hand had been the baby in his family, brought up by his two sisters when their mother passed away shortly after they left Myanmar. We’d both had tumultuous histories. Our journeys to the States marred with adversity. But for Yin those things had made him push outward, embrace every new thing he encountered and suck the marrow out of each moment. Whereas I could go into myself, if I didn’t pay attention. Let the heaviness of the past cover me like a blanket. And even now, after months of waking up with him next to me, of knowing exactly what my day would look like. I had to remind myself that this apartment in downtown Ithaca with mix and match furniture given to us by friends, and this man—especially this beautiful, smiling, happy man—were mine. But Yin always knew exactly what to do whenever I needed to be grounded in that.

  I put my minty coffee to the side and crooked my finger, beckoning him to me. And just as I expected, he stuck out his tongue and scrunched his face, making me laugh. “Come, bébé.” I knew the effect bébé had on him, and soon his steaming tea was left to cool on the ledge that divided our sleeping area from the rest of the studio.

  “You’re cheating, Aristide,” he said with a surprisingly serious tone, given how hard he was smiling. I grunted in appreciation as he peeled off his shirt. His skin was paler now than in the summer, the months of cold weather taking some of the bronze glow. But that did nothing to diminish his beauty. My mouth water
ed at the sight of his flat brown nipples. I licked my lips, reaching for him and he came, like he always did, without hesitation.

  We slid down on the bed so he was on top of me, our bodies touching from toe to forehead. We kissed languidly, like we had all the time in the world, and given that we both had a rare morning off, it felt like we did. I licked into Yin’s mouth, my tongue sliding with his in the way that we’d learned together. Almost two years of kisses—from those first tentative, furtive ones, to hot and hungry ones as we discovered each other, to these practiced, familiar kisses that were no less incendiary.

  “I love you.” I gasped as I touched him. Pressing my hands on him, looking for the places I knew made him needy and hot.

  “Mmmm... I love you too. But I’m still waiting for the reasons,” he said distractedly as he grazed his teeth over my collarbone, before sucking hard on a particularly sensitive spot.

  “That’s not fair.” I gasped, and slid my hand under his pajama pants. “Also, here’s reason one,” I said before flipping us over so that he was under me.

  “Show-off,” he grumbled even as he moved to take off his pants and briefs. “But the fact that you can toss me across the room is a good reason to get in bed with you.” I lay on my side so I could look at him. He closed his eyes for a couple of beats as he took his cock in hand, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from grabbing him so I could take him in my mouth. “What’s reason number two?”

  He gasped out the question as he touched himself. I swallowed hard, reaching for my own cock. “Why don’t I show you?” I gave myself one last long stroke that had Yin following my hand like he was in a trance, before moving so I was kneeling between his legs. His skin was flushed pink, and I bent down to kiss the hollow of his hip, then I moved down so I was right at the juncture of his thigh. He smelled like the peppermint soap he’d bought—because he really was doing the most this holiday season—and I wanted to inhale him.

  Once I had Yin how I wanted, I looked up and found him looking at me through heavy-lidded eyes. His broad lips reddened and swollen from our kissing. Yin was the absolute embodiment of joy. From the first day we met, he’d brought sunshine to my world. I thought again about those first few weeks after we’d started working at Nesto’s food truck. I’d only left the detention center I’d been held in after arriving in the US seeking asylum a year before, and I was still struggling. I tried to show a lightness I did not feel to the world. Smiling even when inside I felt adrift, still hardly managing to not let the desperation of those months when I didn’t know if I’d ever get out of there overwhelm me. I had plenty of people who helped me, but I still didn’t quite believe that someone wouldn’t come and take me away. And what was worse, I wasn’t sure if I had the strength left to fight it. But meeting Yin was the start of letting myself hope again. That and OuNYe the Afro-Latinx restaurant where I worked. My boss, Nesto, and his partner, Jude. I’d found a way to make a life here, to imagine a future for myself again, and now I had so much. Including this man, who was currently tugging hard on my ear.

  “I’m still waiting to be convinced, Aristide.” His reedy voice brought me back to him and the gift that it was to be inside and warm with Yin wrapped around me.

  “I’m doing a terrible job of persuading you to stay in bed with me. I will have to redouble my efforts.” I leaned forward and without preamble took him in my mouth. Immediately he let out a lusty sigh and I could feel him drop back into the pillow. I sucked on the head while I pressed a finger to his hole, just like I knew he liked.

  “Ah. Yes, touch me there.” I gave him what he asked for, like always. Because seeing Yin lost in pleasure never failed to fill me up. And whenever he got the chance he did the same for me. Gave me what I needed, always. I tugged and licked, until he was surging into my mouth on the brink on orgasm.

  “I’m almost there, don’t stop,” he demanded, urging me to touch him like he knew I could. I pressed my thumb to his rim and relaxed my throat just enough to take him all the way in. Within seconds, he was coming. I took everything he had; my hands all over him. It was always so good with Yin, especially now that we could do this whenever we wanted, that no one could walk in on us. That my uncle wasn’t two rooms away waiting for any excuse to kick me out.

  I stayed there with my head on his belly feeling the rise and fall of his breathing as it came back to normal. After a moment he spoke into the silence. “That was a very convincing second reason,” he teased, as he ran a slim finger along the edge of my lineup. “But I’m going to need one more reason.” He moved as if he was about to get out of the bed, but I started tickling him until he was a squirming pile of giggles.

  “Did you forget my gift and need to run to the CVS to get me a pack of ChapSticks?”

  He balked, like I’d said something extremely egregious. “I did not.” He pointed at his chest while I pressed a smile to the skin next to where he’d put his finger. “I got you the perfect present,” he assured me. “So perfect. I’m extremely proud of myself.” And because he was a little shit, he winked at me as he snaked a hand down until he had my very hard dick in his hand. “I actually feel a little sad for you, because I know my gift is going to be so great that you’ll feel bad.”

  “Oh really?” I asked, my hips thrusting into his tight grip, as if they had a mind of their own.

  “Yes, really,” he said through fits of laughter as I flipped us over again. I stared up into those laughing brown eyes, lust and love mingling together in my chest. I was a lucky bastard and I knew it. “Too bad for you that your boyfriend gives perfect gifts.” He said it with a smile on his face, but his focus was on my chest. Yin never wasted an opportunity to touch me, and he never hid how much he loved doing it.

  We were quite the contrast. Me, tall and solid with deep brown skin, while he was slighter with skin that could be a glowing bronze or pale. Yin constantly forged forward, his enthusiasm always overshadowing his doubts. Meanwhile I weighed out every option, considered every outcome. He pushed in and I pulled back. But we made sense together. According to Yin he’d become aware of that fact the moment we met. It took me about another year to see things his way. But we got here.

  “I see there’s no dispute about my gift giving prowess,” he boasted as he ran both hands along my flanks, his nails grazing the skin, making me shiver. I let him touch and explore, biting off curses as he lapped at a nipple or rocked into me so that his ass was rubbing against my hard cock. I was painfully hard, but I knew Yin would give me what I needed soon enough. And I was in the mood to play.

  “I don’t know, bébé, I think I might surprise you.” He scrunched his nose adorably as he undulated on top of me, so that the friction on my dick slowly drove me out of my mind. “I don’t think you’re prepared for the gift I have.” That last part, I said with a groan, trying hard not to come.

  “Oh I’m always ready for it.” I was too close to coming for double entendres or coherent answers, and just sank into the feeling—he redoubled his efforts and soon the pressure had me two thrusts from blowing. He didn’t seem to mind my lack of response, and slid down my body to take me in his mouth. He sucked on the head hard.

  “You’re so good at that, bébé,” I hissed as he took me in, hands and mouth working me until I was nothing but a babbling mess. He tongued the slit and pressed two fingers to my hole as he jacked me hard, just like he knew I loved. Soon, ropes of come landed on my chest and belly as Yin watched, his eyes rapt on me. By the time my brain was functioning again Yin had grabbed a wet wipe from the bedside and cleaned us up. Without saying a word he got back in bed and put his head on my chest.

  “That was very nice. I’m requesting we begin every Christmas Eve like this. Coffee, tea and making love,” I suggested with a grin, turning my head to look at him. His hair was a mess and his cheeks were still flushed from his efforts, and I wanted to keep him like this forever.

  When he looked up, his grin matched
mine. “I’m completely in support of that plan.” After a couple of beats he started squirming like his butt was on fire, and I braced for what I knew was coming. “So you’re really not going to give me a hint?”

  I couldn’t help the laugh that rumbled in my chest. “Yin, you were the one who came up with the rule that we couldn’t give any clues about what we were getting each other for Christmas, even though you hate surprises.” That reminder got me an adorable pout, which I had to kiss him for. “And then you made it into a competition.” He opened his mouth to protest, but I leaned in and kissed him again, sliding my tongue with his until I knew he was properly distracted, then pulled back. “You have to be patient.”

  There was a huff and then a familiar grin, “Fine, but you were supposed to buckle under my charms and tell me.”

  I squeezed him tight as I bit back a smile at his very serious tone. “You’ll find out tomorrow. I have to get ready.” I gestured to the small bathroom, before grabbing a clean towel. “I told Nesto I’d help out with the catering orders.” That was a cover of course. I was actually going to meet up with Carmen, who had part of my present for Yin. Carmen was a good friend of Nesto’s. Nesto was more than an employer actually, he was family. Carmen too. And they’d both been assisting me with the gift that would blow my man away. I had tricks up my sleeve too.

  “I thought you said you were off today?”

  I could practically see Yin’s antennae pinging, but unlike my boyfriend, I had a pretty good poker face. “He’s short on some staff and wanted to be done in time to get to Nurys’s house early to help her set up.”

  Yin narrowed his eyes like he could tell I was fibbing.

  “You still want to go tonight?” I asked, hoping to distract him. I knew mentioning dinner at Nesto’s mother’s house would mollify him.