by Simon Archer
Oh, that’s right. I forgot to mention something.
This is the story of how I became the world’s greatest pirate.
2
Insmere was really starting to burn, and the few other warships in port were listing, holed at the waterline by our cannons or with their masts and rigging torn apart by chain shot.
My crew had taken offense at the sudden appearance of soldiers on the dock demanding their surrender and, with me being otherwise engaged, took it upon themselves to declare a one-ship war on Lord Broward and his ‘city.’
I’d taught them well.
As my strong boys backed water with The Hullbreaker’s oars to pull the ship away from the dock and into the harbor, a couple of random cannon shots splashed nearby. I ignored them as I spun the ship’s wheel to the sound of the oarmaster’s drum pounding like a heartbeat below decks.
“Turn!” I bellowed and then surveyed the surroundings with a wide grin. It was always in these moments, where everything on my ship was working like a well-oiled machine, that I felt the greatest satisfaction.
Hell, even the new guy was pulling his weight. Shrike had slid in with the crew and was working alongside my boys as if he was an old-timer, and I couldn’t have been more pleased. While The Hullbreaker didn’t have the only mixed-species crew on the seas, I was the only orc captain of a privateer. There was some prejudice that orcs weren’t good for anything but infantry, a theory I’d proven incorrect time and time again.
Once we’d got the ship turned with her prow toward the harbor’s entrance, I let out another roar, “Forward, boys! Show the bastards our wake!”
Oars dipped and splashed, and The Hullbreaker began to pick up speed. Forty orcs putting their broad backs into it could get even a ship her size underway in short order.
I straightened the wheel to hold a steady course while my eyes roamed the glittering sea ahead.
The winds were changing in the Empire, and the scent that the wind carried was going sour. That was my impression, at least. For all the ships I’d sunk in the emperor’s name and all the gold I’d looted, the bastards still had tried to backstab me. Had the admiralty taken leave of its senses at long last?
As that thought mulled around in my brain, I noticed the witch, Mary, standing like a statue to my left. She was well out of the way of the crew and me, but I couldn’t help but think her presence on aft castle deck was purposeful.
“D’ye need a moment, lass?” I asked as I glanced over at the witch.
“I wanted to get a feel for the ship and the crew, captain,” she replied with a faint smile on her lips. Mary had something of a predator’s stillness about her, even as the deck rose and fell beneath our feet. “The helm is a good place to do that, I’ve found.”
“Worked many ships, then?” I was curious. If she had, I wouldn’t need to teach her much, but even if she hadn’t, having my own witch aboard would give us an edge.
“Oh, aye,” she said with a laugh. “I was Commodore Arde’s own witch until he grew pissed that I wouldn’t warm his bed. He had a full coven of three for his flagship, but I was the only one young enough to get his little sailor to stand.” A faint smirk tugged at her mouth. “So he drummed up a charge of inciting mutiny and dropped me off in irons with Lord Broward to deal with.”
An Admiralty witch on The Hullbreaker? If there were any truth to the woman’s story, she’d make a fine and powerful addition to my new endeavor.
“So you’re not against consorting with pirates, then?” I turned my gaze back to the prow to watch my men at their work. We were already almost out of the harbor and into the open sea. Soon, it would be time to raise the sails and figure out where we were bound.
“Not in the least, especially when their noble captain made time during his escape to free me and save my life.” Her voice held a teasing undertone, a fey touch if you will, something I’d observed the handful of changelings I’d met over my career. Their voices tended to carry a bit more emotion behind them, a hint of the otherworldly capriciousness that creatures like her were descended from.
“Fair enough,” I said as I turned back to my duties. There were still things that needed to be done. I needed to address the crew and offer anyone not interested in our new vocation a way out, then I needed to adopt Shrike fully into the crew. The witch, though, was a special case. Most admiralty ships and more than a few pirates had one or more, and Milnest’s ships always carried a sorcerer.
The Hullbreaker, though, had never had more than the occasional shaman for hire, usually from whatever tribe we could hire one from and never for more than a job or two.
Maybe the Sisterhood of Witches was prejudiced against orcs, or there were imperial rules, but it was never really all that clear to me why we couldn’t keep a witch or some other kind of weather-worker on the payroll.
It was especially odd when I considered my crew. Once they joined, not many left, though they could have. My crew of orcs, humans, and even dwarves was fiercely loyal. They’d stuck by me through our years working for the Empire, and I was certain they’d stick by me now.
Mary though, she was a different case altogether. After all, she was a witch, and I was an orc.
“Are you interested in a full crew position, then, Mary Night?” I asked, knowing full well our bond made it so she couldn’t lie to me. She’d either have to answer honestly or evade the question, and both would be answer enough. My eyes slid sideways to watch her, but she didn’t move even though her demeanor suggested no surprise or shock, or even expectation.
“The idea of being a pirate witch holds a bit of appeal, captain, I must say.” Once again, Mary’s voice held that ethereal, unearthly fey tone. She was amused and, I thought, pleased. “What will my duties and shares be?” Her changeling eyes focused on me, bright and alert.
I met her gaze with my own. “Every shaman or witch that I’ve ever hired was paid from my own pocket, but you… you, I’ll offer a full share, same as the rest of the crew.”
Mary pursed her lips and shifted her weight a bit, then crossed her arms under her breasts. I couldn’t help but follow the motion with my own gaze. The changeling was an attractive woman, even to my orcish standards… if a bit small. There was a strength to her though, and a part of me couldn’t help but lust after her.
I raised my eyes when she coughed, breaking my wandering thoughts.
“Do I need to worry for my virtue, captain?” the witch teased as her eyes roamed appraisingly over me in return.
“Heh,” I grunted and looked ahead at the open sea. “Not from me or mine. You’re as safe as you wish to be.”
Mary laughed. “Safe among pirates and scoundrels,” she murmured, her voice barely audible over the splash of the waves and the creak of the timbers. Then she raised her voice a bit. “To be quite honest, captain, I feel safer amongst your crew than ever I did on The Indomitable. I’ll take your offer. The name-bond is already in place and will be ‘til I save your life in return for what you did for me.”
I held up a hand for a pause as I shouted out, “Raise the sails, strong boys! Let’s put some distance ‘tween us and the empire!”
A roar of assent went up from the deck as my crew set about getting the masts loaded with canvas. We’d need to get properly decked out, now that we were no longer on the empire’s payroll. Black sails were a must as was a new flag. We needed a proper pirates’ jack to sail under, and I knew just the place to go. Kargad and the crew hadn’t let us leave empty-handed. They’d snatched everything the Imperials had offloaded from us right back, so we had a fair bit of the booty from our last raid sitting in the hold, as well as the pouch of gold coins that I’d nicked from the lord himself.
When I turned back to Mary, she was grinning. “I see you’ve got both lads and lasses on your crew, captain. Does this cause you any problems?”
I furrowed my brow for a moment, then chuckled.
“We’re not some weak-willed, prudish imperial seamen here, milady witch,” I explained. “
I mean, sometimes we might have to yell at a pair or three for keepin’ the barracks awake, but I’ve never set rules about fucking when it’s not yer watch.” Then I paused and let out a growl. “That’s not entirely true. There’s one rule on The Hullbreaker about that sort of thing.”
“Oh?” One of Mary’s thin eyebrows reached for the sky. “What might that be?”
“That kind of fun is only to be had by the willing,” I said sternly. “Otherwise, the next thing ye kiss will be the barnacles along the keel.”
“Oh, I like you, Captain.” Mary chewed on her lower lip as she smiled. “I’m going to enjoy my time here, and I guarantee that I can hex circles around any backwoods bull-roarer or swamp witch playing mercenary on the docks.”
“Good for you, lass.” I turned and motioned to one of the female crew, a one-eyed orc in a tight black vest and loose red and black striped breeches. “Nagra! Show our new witch to her new bunk and run Tarvak out if he decided to squat there again. He can raise his hammock in the underdecks with the rest of the crew.”
“Aye, captain!” the she-orc pounded her chest in salute and motioned to the witch. “This way, miss. You’ll like your new quarters, I know you will.”
Mary nodded and then curtseyed to me.
“See you soon, captain,” she purred, then turned and followed my crew down the stairs and into the aft castle.
I heaved a sigh and watched the ordered chaos of the deck as the sails finally went up, flapping as they caught the wind. Kargad was keeping the deck crew busy, but I caught his eye and gave the hand sign to ship the oars. The winds were favorable, and with all the sheets to the wind, The Hullbreaker could outrun almost any vessel in the imperial fleet. She had a few surprises, she did.
Once everything on deck was squared away, Kargad came clomping up onto the aft castle deck with Bord, the dwarven cannonmaster, hurrying along on his heels.
I gave them both a nod and returned my attention to the sky. I frowned and muttered to myself while I made a few course adjustments. Fortunately, the wind was in our favor, and the sails went taut as Hullbreaker picked up speed.
“So what do you two need?” I growled as I gave them a narrow-eyed look beneath crinkled brows.
“None o’ yer shit, cap’n.” Bord drew himself up to his full four-foot and three, put his gauntleted hands on his hips, and met my gaze with a steely one from his deep-set, gray eyes. The heavyset dwarf was bald and wore his thick beard braided and weighted to keep it out of the way when he worked. Unlike most of the crew, he wore an outfit of heavy leather, scorched and pitted in spots from powder misfires.
I smirked a bit, he was in a right mood, and I couldn’t help but laugh inwardly. I’d never actually laugh at my cannonmaster. Never. “An’ what shit might that be, Master Bord?” I asked blandly.
“Fun as it was shellin’ that town an’ the navy ships, I think you owe us the story as to why.”
Kargad nodded in agreement. They were a funny pair, these two. Friendships between orcs and dwarves were as hard to come by as the emperor’s crown, but my first mate and cannonmaster treasured theirs.
“Aye, yer right,” I said as I rested a hand on the ship’s wheel and held it steady as we picked up speed. The sun was starting to go down behind us, and its waning rays framed the forecastle in golden light. “First, we’re heading for Jetsam on Old Man’s Isle. We need to refit a bit and supply while we’ve still got those chests of Milnestian gold. Second, due to a disagreement over a new imperial policy, we’re now pirates in the law’s eyes, and I, for one, intend to make the best of it.”
“More to it than just an argument with a border lord, then, cap’n?” Kargad asked as he studied me. This was the orc that I’d fought beside damn near all of my adult life. Neither of us could really hide anything from the other, and he was the first of the crew I’d trust with my life.
“According to Broward,” I nodded, “there’s been a turn in imperial policy or at least in the admiralty, to the tune that free orcs are no longer to be tolerated, and they had an assassin and a pair of sellswords there to argue the point.”
They both frowned at that, and I chuckled and continued, still resting my heavy hand on the smooth wood of The Hullbreaker’s wheel. “As it turned out, I had a much stronger argument in favor of keeping my head and walking out of there. I also picked up the man, Shrike, and our new witch, Mary, in Broward’s dungeon. Seems both of them have bones to pick out in the wider world, and they might prove useful to our new vocation.” I gave the two a grin through my own beard.
“Fair enough, cap’n,” Kargad snorted. “You know I’m along for the long haul, fair winds or storm.”
Bord nodded and spat. “Yer stuck with me, too. Admiralty’d shuffle me off to a landlubber position, an’ I’m awful fond of the briny deeps and the booming o’ me guns.”
I chuckled and shook my head, feigning disgust. “Am I never to be rid of the pair o’ ye?”
“Well, if we ever go down, I’ll beat ye to the bottom.” The cannonmaster guffawed and pointed a stumpy finger at Kargad and me.
All three of us started to laugh, which drew funny looks from some of the crew as they bustled about. Once we settled down, I focused on Kargad.
“So, why’d you order an attack on the town?” I asked curiously.
“That’s a fun story, it is.” Kargad grinned broadly and hooked his thumbs into the sash at his waist. “Y’see, about the time you were probably walkin’ into Broward’s keep, a group o’ guards come marching up the dock, pretty as you please, and demand to come aboard. ‘All right,’ I says, thinking it’s an inspection, and I let ‘em on the ship. Almost immediately, they start tryin’ to round up all the crew and get us disarmed.”
The first mate grinned broadly. “Now, when we take offense to this, bein’ loyal sailors of the admiralty, hail the emperor and all that, the captain drops some zinger about how if we didn’t want to follow our captain down to hell, we’d better do as he says.”
Bord laughed again and slapped his fists together. “‘Twas a short an’ brutal scuffle, it was.”
“I slapped together a shore crew of the meanest axe-swingers we got, told my runty friend to fire at will,” Kargad nodded and reached down to clap the dwarf on the shoulder at that, “and we charged for the keep looking for ya.”
“Hmph,” I grunted and turned away from them both to hide the smile tugging at my lips. What had I done to deserve a crew this loyal? They’d practically gone pirate at the mere thought that I was in trouble, and without even knowing I was still alive. “Well, I guess I gotta thank you scurvy bastards for coming after me then.” I let out a deep chuckle, turned, and winked at the both of them.
“Once we’ve resupplied in Flotsam,” I continued, “we’ll head for the trade routes and show all the black-hearted buccaneers and arse-licking Admiralty scum how The Hullbreaker Tribe does it!”
“Harr!” Bord laughed. “Me cannon’s will be ready, cap’n. I’ll pass on the word to the rest o’ the gunners, too.”
“And I’ll get word to the rest of the crew,” Kargad told me.
“Tell them that if they don’t want this life, they can walk away with their share of what we took before the empire turned on us and find another captain to ship out with at Flotsam. But, if our last few hauls are any indication, we’ll do damned good as pirates.” I exhaled deeply and clapped my first mate on the shoulder, then reached down to do the same to my cannon master. “I will say, a captain couldn’t ask for better men at his side than the two o’ ye.”
3
Mary
I wasn’t about to let on to the orc captain and his crew that I was still half in a daze from my escape from certain death. Maybe he knew, given the nature of the name-bond, but I hoped not. He was hard not to think about, confident, muscular, and handsome in an orcish, craggy way. My heart started to beat faster at the thought of him, even with him barely fifteen feet away... or maybe because he was so close. There was no denying that I liked the man, o
rc, whatever. Maybe I was even attracted to him.
The she-orc, Nagra, led me into the actual aft castle of the ship where the captain and the mates’ cabins usually were.
“Oy!” she yelled, startling me out of my reverie as she banged on a door to the right, almost immediately past the entry. Silence, but for the ship’s normal sounds, answered her call.
I held my breath and listened as well while I used a bit of witchery to tune my hearing to block out the ambient sounds. That particular trick would take a little effort until I felt more at home on this vessel. The Hullbreaker, was it? We only waited a moment before Nagra looked back at me.
“Looks like Tarvak’s not here,” she said with a grin and shoved open the door.
It opened into a spacious cabin, for a ship, with a bunk, desk, and what looked to be a worktable. My eyes widened. If this was to be my cabin, it was far nicer than I expected. Plain, yes, but with sturdy furniture and actual windows that showed a view of the wave-tossed sea outside.
“Damn it,” the she-orc grumbled as she looked around at the strewn sailor’s kit that was spread across the bunk and floor. “I’m going to nail that bastard’s ball sack to the deck for this.”
“It’s not a problem,” I insisted as I snorted a laugh. “Really, the hospitality your captain and crew are showing me is above and beyond anything I expected.”
“Captain’s a good man, and he runs a tight ship. Only time he lets Tarvak get away with squatting here when the cabin’s not in use by a shaman or witch. Tarvak’s old and a little soft in the head, y’see, and so Captain tries to look after him,” she explained. “But, if ye’re a shaman or witch or somethin’ on the crew, ye get a cabin. It’s how we do things.”
Some part of me rebelled at the notion of tradition and rules, but I held it in check and nodded as I gave the orc woman what I hoped was a friendly smile. I hadn’t spent much time around the green-skinned warriors, though I suspected nearly everything I’d heard about them was a lie. They hardly seemed the brutes most humans described them as, and they certainly weren’t stupid, or filthy. In fact, none of the crew of The Hullbreaker had been anything but polite and friendly to me since I came aboard.