"Hold up," Jen said. "What did he say, exactly?"
"I can't remember the exact words. The gist of it was that he did it all to protect his family, and now it looks like he didn't have to."
“Hm,” Jen said. “Your skirt looks uncomfy.”
“Seriously?” I groaned.
That was another one of Jen’s things—to blame uncomfy clothes when I pitched a fit. Nevertheless, I allowed myself to be goaded into changing into some of her sweats, before plopping on her bed dismally.
Jen shook her head, squinting at me. I could see the hopeless romantic in her trying to find another explanation then, her eyes open wide, she turned to me. "Maybe he didn't mean it in that way?"
"It's possible," I admitted. "But before that he seemed like he was about to say something, admit something. Elucidate something about this fucked up mess we're in, and then he just dropped it. He couldn't say the words and came out with ‘maybe we didn’t need to do this after all,’ instead."
"Well, he obviously chickened out," Jen said conclusively.
“He didn’t need to repeat that he loved me, but this…” I shook my head. “It feels like we aren’t getting anywhere.”
With a sigh, Jen put her arm around me. "Hey, I'm sorry. I really am. But I think you're being a bit hard on Giovanni. I've seen you two together. I've seen the way he looks at you."
"Yeah," I said. "And I’ve seen the way he looks away from me when he doesn't want to talk about something. That something is usually us. He doesn't want to deal with it, Jen. It's too inconvenient for him."
"Maybe he's as unsure as you are," Jen suggested.
"Maybe that's what I'm tired of then," I said. "Because, as of a few days ago, I wasn’t really feeling unsure about us anymore. Other than whether he was taking this as seriously, or felt the same way, as me. Jen, how am I supposed to be in love with someone who has no idea how they feel about me, or if they even want to be with me for real at all?"
Jen didn't say anything. There was nothing to say. No more reassurance to be given.
She just let her hand run through my hair, brushing through it comfortingly, until my eyes grew heavy and my head fell back into the cushions and I dozed off.
I woke to voices.
Jen's and.... Giovanni’s?
I jolted upright, my heart sinking into my stomach.
Not Giovanni—Gino. With amethyst-colored roses for Jen.
I swallowed thickly. I should be happy for her. I shouldn’t wish that that was me.
Damn Giovanni.
Seconds later, she peeked into the door and caught my eyes open. Busted.
"Gino was just leaving," Jen said, giving him a quick kiss as she accepted the flowers. "It's girl time now."
"It's okay," I said, rising, and moving to the doorway. "I can just leave."
"No," Jen protested.
"I’ll leave," Gino offered. "I didn’t realize you were here too. I just stopped by to see if Jen wanted to get ice cream and see a movie, but..."
"What if you brought the ice cream back here?" Jen suggested.
My entire body rebelled at the idea of being around Gino—or any person I didn’t know well, especially in the state I was in. But I also knew from experience that, feeling this crappy, it wouldn't be the best idea for me to be by myself either.
"There is a grocery store just down the street," Jen offered.
I didn't need to look at my reflection to know that with my matted hair and red-rimmed eyes, I wasn't exactly super presentable. "You guys go," I encouraged them. "I'll wait here."
Jen hesitated, tugging on one of her blonde strands. "Okay... but you promise you won't run away?"
I held one hand to my heart and the other in the air. "Promise."
"Okay," Jen said. "See you soon."
I moved into the living area and sat on the couch. I reached for my phone but then decided on one of the books Jen had stashed on the coffee table. The Lakehouse by Kate Morton.
I was only on the first page, and it was pretty good.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
My gaze flew to the door. I leapt up.
I stared at it.
No one knew I was here. It had to be someone for Jen.
Unless...
32
Giovanni
I shoved my phone in my pocket.
No fucking answer. Still.
I ripped it out to recheck the text Gino had sent. If you're looking for your wife, she's at Jen's.
Good old Gino.
I knocked again and heard a creaking of footsteps.
"Kandice?" I asked. "It's me, Giovanni. Please, just open up."
There was a pause. The door creaked open and I could see one of Kandice's eyes, red, puffy, and tear stained. "What do you want?" she asked, voice hoarse and hesitant.
"To talk to you," I said. "About before. About us."
Her sad eye blinked at me a few times and, without a word, she opened the door. I stepped inside and it slammed behind me. We stood there for a moment, staring at each other.
All the words I had prepared disappeared. Never in my life had I felt so completely inept than when I was around her. My Kandice. So sad, small, and miserable looking. I just wanted to scoop her into my arms and make everything better. To say the right thing. To fix it, finally, but the words I needed weren't coming.
As the seconds ticked by, any sign of hope on Kandice's face was disappearing. A cold, unfeeling mask was taking its place. A protective shield was hiding her fire and bright, beautiful light. I needed to act—fast.
It occurred to me then, that there were no right words. No proper way to say it, except to say it and put it out there, no matter how messy it was. I just had to do it—the only way I knew how. The only way I could in that moment—fast.
"I'm sorry," I said in a rush of breath, "for going back and forth. For losing my temper, for all of this. For not being clear. Not being honest."
"For all of this," Kandice echoed hollowly, turning away.
"No. Not like you think. I am sorry for all the confusion, I mean. I am not sorry I met you, I could never be sorry for that. I am not sorry I married you. I am not sorry I know you."
I grasped her hand impulsively and held it close to my chest.
"For what it's worth, Kandice, I don't know when things went from fake to real, or if it ever was fake. I approached you in Shanghai for genuine reasons. But now I realize that I haven't been faking it for a while now. And what I said to you, the night of the party, while we made love on the hill. That was real." The three words jammed in my throat, but I shared as best I could. "I don't know how or why or when it happened, but it did. I love you."
It was then that I thought to look at her, to see if my words had any effect. She had to feel the same; none of this would make sense if she didn't.
"Kandice?" I asked, tilting her chin up so her eyes were on me.
A low, ragged breath escaped her.
"So, you… Don’t feel the same," I said slowly. "That’s it, then—"
"I love you, and it's terrifying," she blurted out.
All of the pent-up tension I hadn't realized was there electrified my body when I heard her utter those words.
"Enough to stay married to me?" I found myself asking.
Kandice took my other hand. "Maybe."
The tension broke and shattered across the floor. I looked down at her and smiled. "There's only one thing to do then."
With that, I swept my arms around her, and lifted her close to me. I moved us over to the couch. As I sat beside her, our lips immediately found each other’s and she moved to straddle me, her lips moving from my lips to my cheek, then jaw, then collarbone.
"I thought," she said, between kisses. "After the other day—"
"I was an idiot," I said. That was literally the only thing I could say. It was the truth. "I was an idiot. Kandice McArthur, I love you."
She laughed and, putting her hand over my mouth, leaned in and whispered, "Kiss me.”
I reache
d up and squeezed her breast, hard, and she squealed.
Yes, this was going to be good.
As she ground her hips into me, our hands cupped each other’s faces, our lips unable to get enough. On and on she kissed me, until she lifted herself slightly to unbutton my jeans and slide my zipper down. She met my eyes, want showing in both our faces.
Yes. This was just what I wanted. Needed.
She stood, pulling my jeans and boxers down as I lifted my hips. In one swift motion, the clothing landing in a pile at my feet. I pulled my shirt off and then my pants.
Our bodies moved together deliberately. She took her time, situating herself over me, as she locked eyes with me and then slid herself onto my cock. We didn't break eye contact even though the pleasure was almost painful.
Kandice was so tight, so wet. So ready for me.
She began moving her hips in an enticing motion, controlling every thrust of me into her. Fuck. She’d never been so in control before.
Already, I could feel my orgasm building.
I put my hands on her tits, clasping and caressing them as she moved over me. I absentmindedly twisted her nipples as she moved, gyrating and swiveling over me. She was so fucking amazing.
Already, moans and groans were falling out of her, her eyes rolling back in her head as I suctioned my mouth around her nipple.
In a split second, she came.
I slapped her ass, hard, and she came again.
Now, finally, I could release, too. My orgasm roared through me. I slapped her ass sharply, my fingers hitting her flesh in a repeated smack, hard, but it wouldn’t hurt her at this angle. Over and over again. I couldn’t help it; I was urging her on.
I clamped my hands on her hips, cementing her to me as we simultaneously collapsed into each other.
33
Kandice
"Kandice?" Giovanni asked gently.
My eyes fluttered open. "Yeah?"
His face was gorgeous, amused. "We're naked on your best friend's couch. I think we should get dressed and take this somewhere else."
"Oh, right. Shit!" I said.
Talk about being a shitty friend. Sure, Jen would probably cackle about it when I told her, but it was majorly a dick move, having sex on your friend’s couch, especially when they were due back any second...
At the sound of the key turning in the lock, I grabbed my clothes and raced for the bathroom, Giovanni following quickly behind. We locked the door behind us.
"That was close," I whispered as I threw myself into my pants and shirt.
"Kandice?" Jen called. "You here?"
"Yep!" I called. "Just a minute."
By the time Giovanni and I emerged, Gino and Jen were just smirking knowingly.
"I was just giving Giovanni a tour," I said innocently.
"I don't doubt that," Jen said with a small giggle. She held out a grocery shopping bag. "We got cookies and cream, your favorite. Do you want to dig in, or...?"
"Sure," Giovanni answered for both of us.
I nodded. "That would be great."
We all sat down around Jen's kitchen table.
"That place was packed," Gino said, still trying to make small talk. Jen's pointed look at me was accusing. I didn't know what to say, either.
What Giovanni had said earlier had made things clearer between us. Yet, we'd never finished that conversation.
"Gino," Giovanni said. "I don't know if you're aware, but Kandice and I were fake married."
Gino shrugged. "I figured."
I turned to fix Giovanni with an incredulous stare. "As far as I know, we were supposed to consult each other before we told people. Not just make it casual dinner conversation."
Giovanni's hand found mine. "But now, it's real," he said. A short silence.
"Yes!" Jen shrieked, leaping up and fist punching the air. "I knew it."
"Um," I said, turning to Giovanni. "Were you going to consult me about this?"
"He's my brother," Giovanni said with a shrug. "As for when and what to tell everyone else, there is something I wanted to ask you."
"Oh?" I said.
"Yeah," he said. "I want to make this real. I want to tell people our crazy love story. Just that it ended up real. With us in love."
His words crashed down around me. That was a lot. That meant that Giovanni and I were a thing, a real thing. My very real feelings were feeling very scary.
"It doesn't mean we have to live together right away," Giovanni asserted. "If that's what you're worried about."
"Or that you have to have a real wedding," Jen pointed out, leaning in. "Although I think you totally should!"
I rolled my eyes. "You just want to be a bridesmaid."
"No," Jen stated, shaking her head emphatically. "I just want to finally get the chance to make the maid of honor speech that I wrote when we were, like, fourteen."
We laughed.
"This might be a conversation we should have in private," Giovanni realized, rising.
I took his hand and pulled him back down. "No, you know what? I know what my answer's going to be. Yes. I want to tell people. I want to give this a shot. A real shot. I want to see just how far we can take this, Giovanni Bruno. Because if it's anything like it is now, then I think we just might make it."
Giovanni kissed the top of my hand and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "Great minds think alike."
As Gino and Jen clapped, Giovanni's lips met mine.
The next few days were a happy blur. We decided to throw yet another party to tell everyone. The party's name was kind of a dead give-away. We planned it that way so that neither of us had to make a speech or worry about a giant reveal. We named our party, "We Weren't Married and in Love for Real, but Now We Are." It gave everyone an idea of what to expect, while leaving the finer details for when we saw people in person.
We slashed the guest list by about 250, having a more intimate affair with just 50 people. After all, as Giovanni said, this party wasn't for anyone but us.
And for us, it was.
After addressing everyone’s myriad of questions and responding to their exclamations over the amazing turn of events and providing every other detail possible for our friends and family, we were finally free to do as we wanted.
We danced and tasted the rare, elegant chocolatey desserts that Giovanni's mother had shipped in from Italy. We laughed, and smiled with other couples, sharing wine, and dancing some more. Then, we finally returned to the swing where it all began. Each of us clasping a glass of wine, we gazed into the deep, velvet blue sky together.
"I wanted to run something by you," Giovanni said, his fingers playing with mine.
"Yes?" I said.
"I was thinking that, if you wanted, we could go somewhere. Get to know each other more. Of course, I’ve been wanting to get back to work soon but I'd be willing to put that off for more time with you."
I paused.
Was that what I wanted? I had to admit, the past few days, I had been itching for something... More. But it wasn't that.
"I have been wanting to get back to writing, too," I admitted. "Though I love the idea of a trip. Maybe in a few weeks? A month or so?"
Giovanni sealed the deal with a kiss. "Sounds good to me," he said. "There is one other thing, though."
I smiled at him. "Being?"
"The offer for you to move in with me still stands. For real, of course."
I chuckled. "Considering we just had a party to celebrate our fake marriage becoming real, I suppose people would have guessed that. Myself included."
Giovanni gave me a one shouldered shrug. "Just making sure. I don't want any miscommunication or doubt between us anymore."
"We have had to wade through more than enough of that, that’s for sure," I agreed.
"So, is that a yes?" Giovanni asked with a pressing smirk.
I paused, running the idea through my mind.
While the idea of moving in with Jin had been... Unappealing, to say the least, what did I feel now? I
felt one part excited, one part nervous, and... The other part, decided.
I put my arms around Giovanni. "Let's do it."
Our lips came together, moving in harmony once more. More than harmony too—all was infused with our passion, our fire. Despite everything we’ve been through, the number of times we’ve miscommunicated, the lies. Yes, adding love into the mix just made things even hotter.
The way his tongue explored my mouth, agilely dancing, teasing, and playing with me. The way his lips moved up, over, and across mine. Yes. Giovanni was my man, my guy. Plain and simple.
Although...
I rose. "I should go to the bathroom," I said.
Giovanni just smiled dopily. "I'll be here."
I smiled back at him. Part of me felt like my ridiculously big smile would never fade. Not with Giovanni by my side.
As I walked away from him, I realized the main bathroom was taken, a line-up having formed. Wanting to be as quick as possible, I decided to use the antique outhouse Giovanni had told me about.
Apparently, it was a family relic, and a beautiful one at that. Just past the trees, a bit further in, and...
Hearing footsteps, I turned around just as something collided with the side of my head.
34
Giovanni
She had been gone a long time.
Then again, from Maria, I was acquainted with the potential for hour-long bathroom visits, which apparently included: fixing her makeup, talking to her friends, fixing her hair, fixing her makeup again, chit chatting with the other bathroom attendees, as well as, finally, actually doing what you mean to do in a bathroom. But still. Maybe I was just being impatient.
Finally, I stood up and made my way through the crowd. Gino and Jen were slow dancing, Mama and some friends were laughing together at an inside joke, Maria and her friends were crowded around the dessert table.
Me? I was waiting for Kandice, who had now taken...
I stared at the time on my phone. Twenty-five minutes?
Sure, Maria may have been a professional time waster in the bathroom, but I couldn't see why Kandice hadn't reappeared yet.
Playing Pretend Box Set Page 37