“So are you saying I’m Peter?” I asked.
“I’m saying I love my granddaughter and she’s the only family I have,” Gram said. “And I will do anything to keep her safe. Even if that means keeping her from you.”
“But you know she’ll never actually be kept from me,” I said.
“That’s the part that worries me the most. Ruby has the heart and stubbornness that I never had.”
“I’ll never hurt her,” I said.
I opened the door for Gram and she stepped outside.
I shut the door and looked at Ruby.
I moved toward the kitchen and brought her the camera.
“What’s this for?” Ruby asked.
“The picture,” I said. “Look at her out there. Thinking about so much at once. Seeing her life through your eyes. Knowing what could have been. You know what I think?”
“What?” Ruby asked.
“I think you should take the greatest picture ever right now. And you print it. Frame it. And you give it to her. To remind her of who she is. And then you do the same for yourself, girl. And if you ever doubt anything in life, you look at that picture of Gram and remind yourself of what could be.”
Ruby lifted the camera and started taking pictures.
I stepped back and watched her.
I looked at Gram too.
And I felt a tear through my chest I never felt before.
I never got a real chance to save… someone.
Her.
Kait.
I shook my head.
Ruby turned her head. “Thank you for this, Kip. For everything.”
I nodded.
“I’m going to get going, girl.”
Ruby spun around. “What? Why?”
“I just… I just have to. You should talk to Gram. Alone.”
“Kip…”
I backed up. “It’s fine. I did exactly what I wanted to do here. Soap and all.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Now you’re lying to me,” Ruby said. “What’s going on here?”
“I just have to go,” I said. “I’ll call you later. Or text. Take those pictures, okay? Take thousands. Millions. Just…”
Ruby hung the camera from her neck and moved toward me.
I grabbed her hands and brought them to my mouth.
“I love you, girl,” I whispered.
“I love you too, Kip,” she said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Perfect,” I said.
I kissed her hands and had to get out of there.
I moved to the door with speed and when I got outside, I took a deep breath.
The air was nice but it wasn’t going to work.
It wasn’t going to fix the memories. Or make them go away.
Nothing ever would.
I touched my chest and ran to the SUV and got inside.
I peeled away with the tires throwing rocks like someone was chasing me.
Everyone was in the mood to spill their hearts.
Which meant I needed to do the same… about Kait.
Chapter 17
There were ten texts.
Four calls.
And one pissed off Tinsley staring at me.
“You’re a fucking asshole, Kip,” she said to me. “I would slap you but I don’t want to waste my energy on you.”
“Good,” I said. “Forget about me then.”
Pres stood behind Tinsley and he didn’t say a word.
Barr stepped between me and Tinsley. “You sure?”
Smoke danced around him as he spoke to me.
“I need to,” I said. “I just need to burn off some steam for a second.”
“Okay,” Barr said. “I’ve got your back.”
“I don’t need anyone to have my back,” I said.
“You’re still an asshole!” Tinsley called out as I turned and walked down into the ditch.
I left my white, sleeveless shirt on, ready for it to get covered in blood.
The guy standing in the middle of the ditch had no fucking clue what was about to happen to him.
Chester.
The name alone warranted a good beating if you asked me.
He had spiked up black hair, tattoos on his arms, and he cracked his knuckles when he saw me. He stretched his neck left to right and started to dance in place.
I just kept walking.
Right up to him.
I walked into him.
I walked through him.
I knocked him out of the way.
Then I stopped.
I stared into the eyes of a few strangers and waited for Chester to attack me.
He punched between my shoulder blades and I shut my eyes as the pain soared through my body. He took a couple side shots at me, leaving my legs wobbly.
I stepped forward and took a deep breath.
I lifted my middle fingers up and showed them to Chester.
More punches landed to my back and sides.
Then one to the back of my head.
I saw some stars and dropped down to one knee.
“Are you going to fight me or what?” Chester yelled. “I thought the Rulz were known for this? What the fuck?”
I slowly stood up and turned to face Chester.
“Are you going to fight now?” he asked me.
“Hit me,” I said.
“No problem.”
Chester threw a decent punch to my mouth.
My head snapped back and blood filled my mouth almost instantly.
I took two steps back and wiped my mouth.
“Ready for more, bitch?” Chester asked.
He twitched his left hand and I saw it from a mile away.
I punched my left hand, hitting his wrist.
He screamed like a little kid and looked down at his hand.
I couldn’t blame him. That sudden jolt of pain right on the wrist bone…
But with him looking down, my target just got easier and better.
I heard the voices of Ruby and Kait in my mind. Wrestling and battling for memories, time, space, locked in a war they didn’t know they were in.
I threw a right elbow that hit Chester so hard, his legs gave out.
Everyone let out a gasp. There were a few yells. Some oohhs.
I wrapped my arms around him and kept him from falling.
“Not yet… bitch…,” I whispered to him.
I pushed him back and he stumbled.
He was dazed.
I went after him again, this time with more force and more purpose.
It took three punches to take him down.
He was gone when he hit the ground.
But I wasn’t done.
I dropped to one knee and brought my right hand back.
I punched Chester.
Once. Twice. Three times…
When I brought my hand back the fourth time, someone grabbed me.
I turned and swung, hitting Pres in the stomach.
He groaned and stepped back.
I hit Chester a fourth time.
Someone grabbed me again.
“That’s enough, big guy,” Barr said to me as he dragged me away from Chester.
Pres looked at me with an evil look.
I elbowed myself away from Barr and was ready to keep fighting.
Barr grabbed my shoulder. “She’s here.”
I froze and turned my head.
The fight was over.
I lost all my urge to throw a punch.
Tinsley stood at the bottom of the ditch.
Holding hands with Ruby.
Ruby frowned and blinked fast.
Maybe she should have brought her fucking camera to take a picture.
* * *
I walked out of the ditch and knew they were all following me.
I heard Barr tell them to keep their mouths shut.
He was the only one who understood some of it.
Then I heard a voice say fuck this…
/> A few seconds later, Ruby grabbed my shirt.
I lifted my shirt without stopping, taking it off, leaving her with it.
She swung the shirt at me and slapped my back.
“Who are you right now?” she screamed at me.
I stopped and turned.
I grabbed the shirt and held it up.
Blood and all.
“I’m this,” I said.
“Why?”
“Because I felt like it.”
“Bullshit, Kip.”
I turned and walked again.
“You said you were going to call me,” Ruby yelled. “Or text. Or something. You left me. You fucking left me.”
I was at my SUV and I reached for the door when Ruby jumped at the door to block it.
“I can move you, girl.”
“Then do it,” she said. “You want to fight someone? I want to punch you for what you did to me. How’s that sound?”
I curled my lip. “Then punch me.”
“What is this?” she asked.
“This is me,” I said. “I’m proving everyone right.”
“That’s it? That’s what you want to become? You sit there and tell all these stories to Gram and win her over… make me fall in love with you some more… for this?”
“I guess so,” I said.
Ruby moved and I opened the door.
I growled.
I looked back.
Tears fell from her eyes.
Behind her, Pres had an arm around Tinsley, keeping her from getting involved.
Barr smoked a cigarette, nodding to me.
My eyes moved back to Ruby.
“Get in,” I said to her.
“Why?”
“So I can tell you everything I haven’t told you yet.”
I got into the driver’s seat and slammed the door.
I reached into the backseat and got a fresh shirt.
By the time I got it on, Ruby opened the passenger door.
“I’m fucking stupid for this,” she said. “This is everything I was warned about.”
“Then walk away, girl,” I said. “Maybe this is a chance for you to save yourself. So do it. Just walk away.”
Ruby being Ruby, she got into the SUV.
She shut the door.
She lifted the middle finger of her right hand and sat there defiantly beautiful.
I turned on the SUV and sped away from the ditch.
From Tinsley.
From the Rulz.
I needed it.
Ruby needed it.
This was personal.
It was time to rip what was left of my heart out and see if Ruby still wanted it or not.
* * *
I parked near the beach and opened the back of the SUV. I walked around to the back while Ruby climbed over the seats. She moved like she owned the damn vehicle. And it wasn’t the first time a girl climbed through the seats of my SUV. But damn, she was by far the prettiest.
Even in a pissed off mood I couldn’t help but be taken back by her beauty.
I still had some stuff leftover in the back from our crazy day together. The packaging to the camera and paint supplies. Two bike helmets that we didn’t even bother using.
Ruby crawled her way to the edge of the back and sat next to me.
Our hands were inches apart but we didn’t hold hands.
Which seemed so fucking stupid.
And it was completely my fault.
“I meant everything I said at Gram’s,” I said. “What I said to you. What I said to her. I didn’t expect to stand there and give a speech on how perfect you are, girl.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did that drain you of all your energy, love, and kindness?”
I looked at Ruby. “No. Not at all. It just reminded me of a lot I haven’t told you.”
“Great. Just what I need to hear right now.”
“In case you have forgotten, girl, nothing about this thing between us has been normal.”
“So we’re searching for normal?” Ruby asked. “And the girl passed out on the steps of an apartment, desperate for help… that didn’t give it away that things wouldn’t be normal?”
I rubbed my jaw. “You’re really not going to make this easy.”
“Nope,” Ruby said. “Why would I? I fell in love with you, Kip. After I said I didn’t want to. I tried to keep you at a distance and you kept showing up. Then you went face to face with Gram. She put a bar of soap in your mouth. You stuck up for me. You said everything in a way I could never say it. And then as I do what you told me to do… to take a picture of Gram… you all of a sudden just leave? And now you’re here fighting people?”
“It’s what we do, girl.”
“I didn’t see Pres or Barr in there.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Maybe I’m the one holding the Rulz together.”
“Or maybe you’re just full of shit,” Ruby said.
She jumped down to the ground.
That’s when I grabbed her hand.
I pulled her toward me.
Her lip curled.
“I lost someone,” I said. “Someone kind of like you.”
“Like me?”
“My parents… my mother always wanted a daughter.”
“Wait. You have a sister?”
“No, girl, I don’t have a sister,” I said. “My father thought it would be fun to take someone in. To give my mother a daughter.”
“Like a foster kid?”
“Yeah. Sort of. I guess. Kait.”
There, I said her name. Are we done here?
“Kait,” Ruby said.
“She was my age though. I think my father had this vision of having the perfect looking family. Or the ability to take the perfect family pictures. Except… she was…”
“What?”
I pulled Ruby closer. “She was the one I lost for good, Ruby. She couldn’t stop herself. She couldn’t save herself. And I couldn’t save her.”
“Meaning what, Kip? I don’t do vague conversations.”
“Right. Kait overdosed and died.”
Ruby gasped.
We were in silence.
One… two… three… four… five…
Ruby slowly lifted her left hand and touched my face.
“You loved her, didn’t you?”
I kept my face like stone.
“Shit,” Ruby whispered. “That’s why… you fell in love with her. Wanting to save her from herself.”
“I had no idea what I was doing,” I said. “But from the second she arrived, we got along. We just clicked. And it was never… whatever. I watched her slowly slide. It was like she knew how to live at the house. How to act in front of my mother and father. What to do and say. And everything was kind of okay. But then it wasn’t. She would stay out late or not come home. Or if she came home she would be a wreck. And, hey, who am I to judge someone wanting to party a little, right?”
Ruby turned her head.
She was connecting more dots, that I was sure of.
“Anything she wanted, I let her have. She would come into my room and we would talk for hours. About anything and everything. There was just something about her. Beyond the stuff she was doing. I tried hard to talk her out of it all. I understand what she was thinking. New town. Nothing was hers. And nothing ever would be hers. She knew she was… fuck… I hate saying it. But she was like a trophy. An award. Something my parents could parade around to say look at what we did…”
Ruby stroked my cheek again. “That’s why you wanted to save me, right? To make up for what you lost?”
I shook my head. “No, girl. I already did the comparison thing. That’s my point. Everything with you is so fucking real. I want it to be a comparison. I want it to be about saving you in the way I couldn’t save Kait. But I realized… fuck. I just truly love you.”
“I don’t understand it.”
“I saw you taking that picture of Gram. And you were happy. I felt like I gave you something nobody else
ever did. And I did think of Kait. How I couldn’t do that for her. But it ripped through me that no matter what I do… for you… Kait… Tinsley… Pres… Barr… I can’t control what anyone does. I spent all this time replaying all these memories with Kait through my head, wondering where did I go wrong? When did I say something wrong? Or not say anything at all? Or…”
“And that’s not how it works,” Ruby said.
“That’s what I’m saying. So no matter what I do, I can’t stop anyone from doing what they want. And in a way I think I knew that all along. Which is why I always kept people at a distance. I didn’t want to know anyone’s name. If you’re pretty, smiling, eyes flirting with mine, and have a few hours or a night to kill, then let’s fall in love and then fall right back out of love when the sun comes up.”
Ruby moved her hand to my chest. “So there really is a heart there.”
“Yeah, there is, girl,” I said. “And with us, the sun has never come up again.”
“So we’re just in the dark.”
“Like vampires,” I said.
Ruby showed her teeth and smiled.
I moved her hands away from me and I stood up.
I cupped her face. “I heard what Gram said. About her life. Then about you. And I know no matter what happens you’re going to do what you want. And believe me, girl, it’s not me wanting to control you. Not ever. It’s not even the idea that I could possible lose you.”
“Then what is it, Kip?”
“It’s that I’m so damn in love with you I’m willing to hang out and see what happens. No more protecting my heart. It’s all there for you, Ruby. To do whatever you want with.”
Ruby reached up and touched my face. “And I was right all along.”
“About what, girl?”
She grinned. “I told you… I own you.”
* * *
We held hands and walked along the water.
The waves danced around our feet.
My eyes couldn’t stop dancing to Ruby.
“There’s a little more I should tell you,” I said.
Ruby stopped and turned to face me. “You know, for a rich town, you all seem to have a lot of bullshit in your lives.”
I nodded. “Grass is always greener.”
“Gram says shit like that,” Ruby said. “But you know what is green? Money. And you know what money does? Makes sure you eat.”
KIP: a bay falls high novel Page 17