by Peyton Bogue
Sage’s heart clenches.
He takes a deep breath, grabbing his set of keys, and places his right hand on the door handle, careful not to turn his back to Rhys. He runs the hand holding his keys through his hair, trying to make himself seem calm and collected even though he’s five seconds away from just making a break for their bedroom and shutting Rhys out for the night.
He’s exhausted and the ache of fatigue is heavy in his bones. All he wants to do is sleep. No matter how bad he just wants to curl up into their bed and pass out for a couple of hours, Sage knows that it’s entirely possible that Rhys might break their bedroom door down if Sage refused to let him in for the night just to calm his wolf down because it drives his wolf insane to think that Sage is mad at him. Had this outright stupid fight happened a month ago, Rhys would have respected Sage’s choice to put space in between them, no matter how crazy it would make his wolf, and probably would have camped out outside of their door, waiting to bombard Sage with apologies the second Sage felt guilty enough to let him back in.
Rhys isn’t in control of himself right now, though, and the thought of him hurting himself even more to get himself to stop shifting makes Sage’s insides twist up painfully. He knows that Rhys needs to be alone right now before he either pushes himself further into his shift because of his anger or hurts himself even worse.
Sage turns towards Rhys, not completely looking at him as he responds, “Probably to Kai’s. I’ll crash on his couch tonight and go into work in the morning.”
“No, Sage, wait. I didn't mean to—” Rhys starts, reaching a clawed hand out like he’s going to grab Sage’s arm, probably just to get him to stay, but Sage flinches away from him harshly.
Rhys probably didn’t even realize that his claws were still out, but the look on his face when Sage flinches away from his touch makes Sage’s heart sink in his chest.
“Sage,” Rhys says, his voice heavy with emotion as his eyes widen in despair, like watching Sage recoil from his touch like that, just to avoid his hand, is the most devastating thing he’s ever seen.
Sage can see loud and clear the pain shining through Rhys’s fluorescent red eyes. It pains him that Sage would distance them like that, that he’d flinch away from Rhys’s touch as if he’s scared of what Rhys might do to him.
The look on his face makes Sage’s lungs constrict tightly in his chest.
“It’s okay, Rhys,” and that’s such a lie, shit, Rhys will be able to hear the blip in his racing heart, “I have work in the morning and I haven't slept in almost two days. I’m going to let you calm down. And then we’ll talk.” A pause and a fiddle with his key ring. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I love you.”
“Sage—” Rhys tries again, his voice a low croak. He’s still got that look on his face, brokenhearted and pained, but his claws haven’t retracted back into his fingernails.
Sage just gives him a sad smile, opens the door, and closes it softly behind himself.
He doesn’t make it to Kai’s that night.
Sage doesn’t know if he’d planned on even driving the short drive over to Kai’s apartment when he’d left, too distracted by the thought of getting Rhys to calm down to focus on actually forming an idea as to what to do with this sudden seperation. Sage gets down the stairs and out the door of their building, crosses the street and unlocks the Camaro before stepping into the driver’s seat, and just sits there, keys in his hand but doesn’t start the ignition.
Sage sighs into the empty interior of his car. His head is beginning to pound in that telltale start of a deep headache, his body aches with fatigue, and his heart clenches painfully in his chest.
His stomach is in knots, and he feels like he’s going to throw up.
They’ve had worse fights than this.
The first time they fought was way back before they’d even decided to start a relationship together. Sage barely remembers that argument, but he knows that it was probably something to do with Rhys trying to warn Sage off of him, even though they both knew that Sage wasn’t going to give up so easily.
There have been more fights to follow, too, and sometimes, they’re really bad, but more often than not, each of their arguments isn’t anything more than a simple misunderstanding or a disagreement.
This fight, though, makes Sage feel as if Rhys has ripped his heart out of his chest.
He’s not necessarily mad at Rhys. Rhys is the kind of person who Sage can’t stay mad at long because he’ll try his best to get Sage smiling and laughing until Sage forgets why he was mad in the first place. Rhys is a good guy, and an even better boyfriend.
Sage is a little irritated that Rhys had turned his concerns into nothing and didn’t seem to care at all about what he had to say.
Above all, though, Sage is upset. Rhys hadn’t even acknowledged that Sage had a valid reason for worrying about him. As much as Rhys worries about Sage, Sage worries just as much about him.
They never fight like this. Every argument they’ve ever had has always been resolved by just talking to each other. Sage isn’t naïve enough to believe that their relationship doesn’t go through the usual bumps and hiccups that every couple goes through, but he knows that what he and Rhys have is healthy. They talk to each other extensively about their problems, especially if those problems involve each other. They’ve always been communicative with each other. Rhys gets angry at him, sure, but he has never snapped like that before. He hasn't ever gotten so defensive that he didn’t at least listen to what Sage had to say and lashed out at him instead.
And Sage is actually really upset that Rhys started shifting on him. Rhys wolfing out during their argument is nothing short of alarming. He never loses control like that. Sage is worried the most about Rhys’s seemingly lack of control over his shift, and he's even more worried about Rhys’s safety and ability to keep himself under wraps.
Sage has been concerned about Rhys’s increasingly odd behavior for an entire month now, and he just wants to understand why Rhys is acting like this, even though he knows that it’s most likely not Rhys’s fault.
And he’s just really tired. This case he and Kai are on has the workings of being tough and long written all over it, and Sage just wants to sleep, to be able to calm himself down and not worry about anything for a few hours.
Sage isn't sure how long he just sits there, staring out into the dark street through the Camaro’s windshield. The air around him is stagnant and quiet, and the streetlamp above Sage’s head shines dimly as he works to steady his breathing.
He doesn’t realize that almost an hour has passed until his phone buzzes. He sighs into the quiet air of his car, rifling through his jacket pocket to dig out his cell phone, briefly glancing at the screen. All he sees for a second is a notification alerting him that he’s got an email in his inbox, and he quickly swipes it away. Once he sees that it’s almost midnight, he feels his eyes bug out of his head slightly. He’s mildly surprised that Rhys hasn’t called him or come down to check on him yet. Rhys gets anxious when he thinks that Sage is upset with him, and Sage is actually more than a little shocked that he hasn’t come down here yet. Rhys has to know by now that Sage didn’t actually leave.
Even if he’s not in control of himself right now, at least Rhys is actually being mature and giving Sage space, even though Sage hates this distance between them.
Sage sighs again into the silence. He’s calling Kai a moment later, needing to hear someone’s voice before he gets even more upset.
Kai picks up on the third ring.
“Hey, Sage.”
“Hey, Kai. Are you busy right now?” Sage asks, bringing his hand up to pinch at the bridge of his nose.
“No, I can talk. What’s up?”
“Are you at home?” Sage feels the need to ask, even if he doesn’t plan on actually driving over to Kai’s apartment. He still hasn’t decided if he’s going to leave yet. The last thing he wants to do is have Kai racing back from somewhere if he’s not home to meet Sage at his place j
ust because he thinks Sage is in distress.
“No, actually. I’m at Mikalina’s,” Kai replies, and Sage can hear the sound of a door closing in the background.
“Mikalina, like our boss? That Mikalina?” Sage asks in slight shock, bringing his hand down from his face to pull at a loose thread on the wheel of the Camaro.
“Yes, that Mikalina, who is also our best friend,” Kai chuckles at him.
“Why are you at her place? It’s like midnight, Kai. She spends time with us all of the time, but never at her own house,” he pauses, thinking. “I don’t think I’ve ever been to her house before.” He stops talking for a second, before he’s immediately backtracking. “Oh my, God, sorry. That totally sounded nosy, jeez. Sorry, man. It’s none of my business. What you get up to in your spare time is totally—”
“Sage,” Kai cuts him off, chuckling again. “Stop rambling. You’re fine, buddy. Are you alright? Why are you calling me? Is everything okay?”
Sage is silent for a second, a tad mortified as he thinks. He knows that he’s still readily in the range of Rhys’s ability to hear him clearly even at four stories down from where he is on the street. Sage glances up at a window he knows looks into one of their spare guest bedrooms, but there's no light illuminating from it.
He takes a deep breath, steadying himself as he bites the inside of his cheek. “Rhys and I had a fight," he replies quietly.
Kai inhales in sympathy. “Aw, man. What happened?”
Sage sighs, but proceeds to tell him, “You know how he works out all the time, right?”
“Yeah,” Kai agrees, and Sage knows that Kai is nodding his head even though he can’t see him. “Rhys is built like a brick shithouse, man.”
Sage makes an affirmative noise, his eyes flicking to their building again. He doesn’t want Rhys to hear him telling Kai about their fight and get angry again, but he continues, “He’s been working out a lot lately. For the past month, he’s been going through these times where he’ll work out for hours, Kai. Like, for five, six, or seven hours straight.”
“Damn,” Kai replies. “I don’t think that’s very safe for him. I mean, I knows he’s. . .you know, different,” and Sage rolls his eyes at that, because he appreciates Kai not saying the word werewolf over the phone, but different isn’t the word to encompass all of what Rhys is, “but he needs to take it easy sometimes, right? It can’t be good for him to keep pushing himself like that.”
“That’s what I told him,” Sage says, “but he told me that he’s fine and that he can take care of himself. He’s been acting a little strangely for the past month, and when I asked him about it, things got a little out of hand. Then we got into it, and we both said some things we probably shouldn’t have said.”
“It got hot and heavy, huh?”
“Yeah,” Sage agrees, sighing. “And we worked our asses off on this case today, and you and I both haven't slept for almost two days. I just wanted to come home and sleep before we have to get up early again, and now Rhys and I are fighting and I just feel awful, Kai. I hate it when he’s mad at me."
Kai hums under his breath, making an inquisitive sound. Sage hears the sound of someone shutting a door again in the background as Kai says, “It sounds to me like you both just need to talk to each other, Sage. That boy’s crazy about you, and you’re crazy about him. You guys will work it out.”
Sage inhales deeply and clicks his tongue. “Yeah, I know. Thanks for talking to me, though, Kai. I'm sorry that I’m such a wreck. And sorry for pulling you away from whatever it was you were doing with Mikalina.”
Kai scoffs playfully. “Man, she doesn’t mind, you know that. Besides, you’re my best friend, Sage. I’ll always be here to talk to you.”
The sentiment tugs on Sage’s heart strings as affection swells in his chest, and he grins to himself. Sage feels incredibly lucky to have Kai in his life and will never not be thankful that he met Kai all those years ago. Kai has always been there for him at his most desperate times, and this time is no different.
“You better get back to Mik, Kai,” Sage says, his smile widening.
“You don’t want to come over? Maybe give you and Rhys a break for the night before you talk to each other again? I can leave right now and meet you at mine in like twenty minutes, man. We can even eat Phish Food like we used to in high school when one of us was trying to wallow our sorrows away,” Kai offers, chuckling. “It’ll be fun. We can braid each other’s hair and everything.”
“I’d only come over if you had Half Baked,” Sage replies, laughing softly. He sobers up, still smiling. “Thanks for the offer, Kai. I appreciate it. I’m okay, though. Talking to you helped.”
Kai gives him a light chuckle. “Phish Food is superior, you little shit, but whatever you say, man.”
“Half Baked is the best and you know it. Now go back to Mikalina, Kai,” Sage replies.
“Alright, man. If you change your mind, call me, okay? Or if you want to just head over to mine, go right ahead. You have your own key. I’ve got like, some weed gummies, too, if you just want to mellow out and calm yourself down,” Kai says, and Sage laughs loudly.
“Jesus, Kai! We’re cops!”
“And?” Kai asks, and Sage can tell by the sound of his voice that he was just trying to get Sage to laugh. Sage’s grin widens. “It’s legal here, smartass.”
“You do not have weed gummies in your apartment.”
Kai laughs. “No, I don’t,” he agrees. “But if you want some Tito’s, I do actually have that.”
“Thanks, but I think I’m alright,” Sage replies, shaking his head fondly.
Kai chuckles again, but his voice softens as he says, “Go get your boy, Sage.”
Sage laughs softly, nodding even though he knows that Kai can’t see him. “Bye, Kai. I'll see you tomorrow.”
Kai just laughs down the line, hanging up with a small click. Sage is once again met with the quiet interior of his car, staring straight ahead at the soft light illuminating from the lampposts above him.
He takes a deep breath, just trying to steady his tumultuous thoughts even though he’s not feeling as upset anymore. His heartbeat is finally calming to a more normal pace, still beating a little fast but steadying, and he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against the steering wheel, focusing on his breathing. He feels like he could fall asleep. The exhaustion in his muscles makes his body feel heavy and sleepy.
A knock to the Camaro’s driver's side window a few minutes later has his eyes opening widely in alarm and his heart practically beating out of his chest.
He looks up sharply and turns to the direction of the knock, where Rhys is leaning down and looking at him through the window.
Rhys looks tired, and his normal gray eyes are puffy and morose. He’s looking through the window with such a sad look that Sage’s heart constricts painfully in his chest. Sage makes sure to grab his keys before he quickly steps out of the Camaro and locks it as he glances over at Rhys tentatively.
Rhys isn't shirtless like he was when Sage had left him almost an hour ago. He’s wearing one of Sage’s old and worn NYPD long sleeve shirts, black sweatpants, and a pair of slides with socks, and his damp hair is curling against his ears. All things considered, he looks cozy.
Neither one of them speaks for a moment before Rhys seems to deflate, and his shoulders slump before he crosses his arms and his muscles strain against the long sleeve. He doesn’t look like the confident man Sage knows him to be, or the charming guy who always tries to get Sage to laugh when Sage is mad at him.
Rhys hesitates before he speaks, his head downtrodden as his eyes tentatively meet Sage’s, even though he’s still standing stoic and broody. Timidly, he asks, “Will you come back inside with me, please?”
“Sure,” Sage says, nodding as he fiddles with his car keys so that he has something to do with his hands. It’s a nervous habit of his, but Rhys could probably just scent the air and know exactly how nervous Sage is just by the smell of him.
Rhys is careful to keep his distance in case Sage doesn’t want to be near him even though Sage can tell that it’s incredibly hard for him to respect the space that Sage is still putting between them when he can smell how anxious Sage is. The desire to comfort and soothe must be overwhelming for him, especially when Sage knows that Rhys’s wolf is most likely deeply unsettled right now.
Rhys just turns around slowly to lead the way back to their building, his jaw clenched, and Sage follows after him, his hands in his jacket pockets.
There isn’t an elevator in their old 1800s brownstone, so they both begin the trek up the stairs. The only sound in the open stairwell is their heavy footfalls on the steps—Sage’s louder than Rhys’s because he’s still wearing his work shoes.
They reach their fourth floor apartment, and Rhys takes his keys out the pocket of his sweatpants and unlocks the door before stepping inside and holding it open for Sage, who walks inside without meeting Rhys’s eyes.
Sage skips the couch in the living room and heads straight towards the end of the hallway where their bedroom is, and he pushes the door open and walks inside of the room with a sigh. He doesn’t hear Rhys following him, but a moment later, Rhys stands inside the doorway of their bedroom, watching as Sage heads into their wide walk-in closet and changes out of his work clothes and into an outfit similar to what Rhys is wearing.
When Sage reemerges from the closet, turning off the closet light and closing the door, Rhys is sitting on the edge of their bed, bent at the waist so his elbows rest on his thighs, and his head is in his hands.
Sage walks towards him slowly, waiting for Rhys to look up at him, then crouches down and moves his hands to gently pull Rhys’s hands away from his face when Rhys continues to resolutely stare at the ground.
Rhys’s sad, gray eyes meet Sage’s, and Sage can see the sorrow and pain they hold as they both gaze into the other’s eyes, and then Sage moves forward and wraps his arms around Rhys’s middle, burying his face into Rhys’s chest.
That seems to get Rhys moving, and a second later his warm, muscular arms are wrapping around Sage’s back and he’s burying his nose into Sage’s hair, inhaling deeply.