by Peyton Bogue
Rhys snarls. He’s going to lose it.
“Rhys,” Kai says quietly, putting a hand on Rhys’s shoulder. The touch is supposed to be comforting, but Rhys snaps his eyes open, glaring. Kai takes his hand off, raising it carefully. Rhys makes a low noise in his throat. “I know. We don’t know where he’s at, man. We can’t do anything until we know.”
“We know who took him,” Rhys snaps harshly. “That entire car reeks of Steele’s scent.” He doesn’t mention how he’d only been able to smell the other werewolf’s scent after he’d already smelled Sage’s blood.
“I know that, Rhys,” Kai says patiently. “But they don’t.”
Behind them, the entire precinct is thrumming with noise. Mikalina has every spare detective working to help find Sage. There are forensic technicians analyzing parts of the Camaro’s interior, which includes the seatbelt that only could have been shredded with claws, and the broken glass and door hinge. The remaining detectives are out canvassing the surrounding area of the precinct for any witnesses. Two other officers are supposedly with Hazel at the hospital, waiting to bring her back to the precinct. Even more people are outside, gathered around as they watch uniformed crime investigators dust for prints across what’s left of the Camaro’s hood and passenger side door. Rhys can hear the crowd murmuring, speculating on the scene before them, and he clenches his jaw as the overlapping voices echo through his ears.
All of the scents and sounds around him are overwhelming his wolf. He can’t focus with all of these noises and smells distracting him. His wolf snarls beneath his skin.
Rhys runs his thumb across the raised metal of Sage’s dog tags, growling lowly. He doesn’t remember how or when he got to the precinct. He doesn’t know if his motorcycle is outside, or if he ran. All he knows is that when he stumbled up to the Camaro and had seen the wreckage, had seen all of the glass and blood, had heard the sirens and the wails of ambulances and squad cars, had smelt that metallic tang of blood as his eyes had swept over the trail of red leading away from the driver’s side door—as if Steele had dragged Sage—he’d started shifting. He’d taken one look at the bloody interior of the car and had to turn away to stop himself from throwing his head back and howling.
He hadn’t even noticed Sage’s dog tags until he’d taken a few steps away from the wreckage to try to rein his wolf in. They’d been thrown out onto the street, discarded as if they were a piece of garbage, and had been laying right next to Sage’s crushed and broken phone. Sage hasn’t taken his dog tags off in weeks. He’d never leave them out on the street like that. When he’d seen them, Rhys couldn’t help but think that the silver had looked out of place against the asphalt that was now stained a dark red. He’d picked them up and held them close to his chest, like he is now, and desperately tried to quell the rage that began to flood through his veins. It was only when Kai had come up behind him, gently rubbing a soothing hand over his shoulder, that Rhys had forced his wolf back down and felt hot tears prickle at his eyes. It’d taken everything in him to stop himself from completely shifting.
“I don’t give a shit what they don’t know,” Rhys snarls, glaring at Kai as he opens his eyes harshly. “We need to be out there looking for him.”
“We will,” Kai says, crossing his arms. “But we have no idea where Steele took him, Rhys. They could be anywhere.”
“They’re close,” Rhys argues, shaking his head. He can feel it. His wolf can feel it. He knows that Sage is somewhere nearby.
“Listen,” Kai says gently, and Rhys looks out of the window again, clutching the dog tags tighter to his palm. He doesn’t need to hear any more excuses. Kai’s heartbeat echoes loudly in Rhys’s ears, fueling Rhys's fury. “Hazel was out cold when I got here after she called me, man. You know that. I didn’t get a chance to talk to her. She might have some information that we don’t. We have to wait, Rhys.”
“While you’re busy waiting, Kai,” Rhys hisses, growling, “Sage could already be dead.”
Kai stiffens, and Rhys clenches his jaw. He didn’t mean to say that. He’s been actively trying not to think about that happening.
Kai’s silence is deafening as Rhys continues to look out the window. His eyes find the Camaro again, and he growls quietly under his breath. It’s completely totaled. When they do eventually find Sage, he’s going to be upset. He loves that car.
“Do you really think he’s dead?” Kai asks quietly after a pregnant pause, and the curl of his scent, the agony that emulates from him, makes Rhys taste ash on his tongue.
He shouldn’t be taking his anger out on Kai. Kai is trying to keep a level-head for Rhys’s sake, even though Kai looks as if he could keel over at any second. For the first time since he’d stumbled over to the precinct and saw Kai standing over the wreckage of the Camaro, Rhys actually begins to assess him. He looks broken, which is as close to how Rhys feels as he thinks anyone could get. He’s just as torn up about Sage’s kidnapping as Rhys is. It’s not fair to treat him like this. He’s lost Sage, too. Kai is Sage’s best friend, but he’s also more than that. He’s the closest thing to a brother that Sage has. Kai loves Sage, not in the way that Rhys does, but in the way that makes Sage family. He’s trying not to fall apart for Rhys, and Rhys needs to try just as hard for him, too.
In their love for Sage, in this moment, both Rhys and Kai are broken, kindred spirits.
“No,” Rhys says after a moment, clenching his jaw. “I’d feel it. But more than that,” he pauses, searching for the words. “Steele wouldn’t kill him yet. I pissed him off. He wants revenge. This isn’t really about Sage.”
Kai nods. “Which is why you’re not going off on your own, yet. You’re barely keeping your shift under control, man. Going out right now, without knowing all of the information we need to help find Sage, isn’t going to help us find him faster.”
Rhys shakes his head sadly. “It’s my fault that he’s gone, Kai. I let him go—”
“You didn’t let Sage do anything, Rhys,” Kai says sternly. Rhys shakes his head again, but Kai continues, “No one lets Sage do anything. He makes his own choices. The only person who’s to blame for this is Steele.”
Rhys runs a hand over his face, suddenly overcome with emotion. His head is completely jumbled, and his heart beats rapidly against his ribcage. His wolf howls mournfully beneath his skin, and Rhys feels tears prickle at his eyes.
He sniffles, looking down at Sage’s dog tags. He runs his thumb over the metal again, saying quietly, “If I lose him—”
“I know,” Kai says quietly, and this time Rhys doesn’t flinch away from the touch Kai offers him. He sniffles again, rubbing at his eyes.
It hits Rhys then, how Kai would be the only one capable of knowing what Rhys would feel if he lost Sage, because Kai would lose him, too.
Rhys can’t even think about losing Sage. He knows that if he even thinks about it for one second, if he lets himself wonder for a split second, he’s going to start losing control over his shift all over again. Just the thought alone, of somehow living in a world where Sage no longer exists, makes Rhys tremble with agony. He refuses to even acknowledge the thought of Sage dying. That’s not going to happen. Rhys won’t let it happen. He’ll do anything to get Sage back, to make sure that he’s safe. He’ll tear apart the world if he has to.
The sound of another heartbeat suddenly sounds through Rhys’s ears, and he quickly checks his reflection in the window to make sure that his eyes aren’t glowing before he turns around in time to see Mikalina yell, “Kai!” Next to him, Kai turns towards the sound of his name, and they both watch as Mikalina waves them over towards Sage and Kai’s desks in the middle of the precinct.
When Rhys looks over Mikalina’s shoulder, he sees Hazel Kimura sitting at Kai’s desk, and she looks awful. She’s not wearing the black dress Rhys had seen on her at the masquerade, just a pair of sweats. Her hand is wrapped in gauze, and her other arm is securely fastened in a sling. There’s a brace on her leg, and her eyes are rimmed a blood red.
And if Hazel looks like this, what is Sage going to look like? How many injuries is he going to have?
Rhys feels his wolf howl in anguish deep inside of him, and he has to look away from Hazel’s face before he loses control of his shift again from the anger that coils in the pit of his stomach.
“Hey, Hazel,” Kai says to her gently when they both walk over to the desk. Hazel gives him a weak smile, and her eyes flicker to Rhys before settling back on Kai. She smells like gasoline and antiseptic, but Rhys can clearly smell her confusion over the lingering scents of the hospital. Kai watches her before he gives her a small grin and gestures to Rhys. “This is Rhys,” he says quietly. “Sage’s boyfriend.”
Rhys tries valiantly to give her a smile, or even a look that doesn’t come across as homicidal, but he hears the way her heartbeat begins to accelerate in panic and her scent curls into something sharp, and he figures he’s not done a good enough job. He can’t bring himself to really care. He may not particularly care for Hazel, or care if she likes him or not, but he knows that Sage would be gently scolding him if he were here. If Sage were here, he’d be gently nudging Rhys and encouraging him to try harder, to give off a good impression. He’d smile encouragingly at Rhys, soothingly rubbing small circles over the inside of his wrist because he knows that Rhys can be somewhat coarse when he meets new people. He’d smell like autumn leaves and their runs through Prospect Park. His heart would be a steady rhythm in his chest, a song only Rhys can hear.
Rhys’s throat tightens.
God, if Sage were here—
“Can you tell us what happened?” Kai’s voice cuts into his thoughts, and Hazel’s eyes snap back to him from where she’d been looking at Rhys with an unreadable look on her face. Beside her, Mikalina gives Hazel an encouraging smile.
“Sage and I were talking,” Hazel says, her voice scratchy and uneven. “I was telling him something, and. . .I don’t remember what we were talking about.”
“That’s okay,” Mikalina tells her gently. Hazel nods.
“There was this SUV behind us,” she continues as her voice cracks. “I think it was following us for a while, but I didn’t notice it until we were almost to the precinct. Sage kept watching it out of the mirror, but everything was fine for a while. Then it. . .rear ended us, I think. Twice. And then we hit the light pole.”
She shifts, and Rhys inhales sharply at the scent that clings to his nose. The metallic smell of blood floods over him, and Rhys closes his eyes sharply. The scent of Sage’s blood is all over her.
His wolf snarls.
“I don’t remember much after we hit the light pole, but I remember him talking to me. Sage asked me if I was hurt,” Hazel continues, and Rhys feels his hands clench into fists. “I told him that I was okay, but he said that he didn’t know if he was hurt or not.” She closes her eyes, and Rhys’s chest feels tight. God, Sage didn’t even know if he was hurt. “He told me to tell you that the SUV’s license plate was 2-2-1-November-Kilo-Omega. He repeated it to me twice. He told me to tell you the license plate number exactly like that.”
Mikalina moves away from Hazel's side to enter the license plate into the computer on Sage’s desk.
Omega, Rhys thinks bitterly to himself. If he and Kai didn’t already know that Steele was the one who took Sage, they definitely do now. Sage was trying to tell them, even when he knew he wasn’t going to be able to tell them himself.
Rhys’s heart clenches painfully in his chest. When did Sage realize that he wasn’t going to make it out of that car? What was going through his head when he’d realized that no one was there to save him?
Rhys feels lightheaded.
“Then he became. . .frantic,” Hazel continues in front of him, and her breathing picks up harshly. Rhys’s mouth runs dry. “He kept saying that I needed to stay quiet so that whoever was in the SUV didn’t notice me. He said that they didn’t care about me. That whoever it was wanted him.”
Rhys feels his claws sink into the skin of his palms. He closes his eyes again. His canines push against his lips. Static begins to echo in his ears.
“Sage knew your attacker?” Mikalina asks Hazel, and a tear slips down Hazel’s eye. The salty smell of it makes Rhys want to growl.
“I think so,” Hazel replies. She shakes her head. “I don’t think I saw his face. But then the guy started talking to Sage, and Sage didn’t say anything. He didn’t do anything. And then I heard this. . .sound.” She shudders. “Like the guy was ripping the car door off. I watched him grab Sage. Sage wasn’t moving.” Another tear slides down her cheek. Rhys can’t even breathe anymore. “And then the guy took him.” She sniffles. “I didn’t see what direction they went in, and I don’t even know if Sage was alive.” Her voice cracks again. “I called you, Kai, as soon as I could. And I don’t know what happened after that.”
Rhys doesn’t hear anything for a moment. Mikalina and Kai’s voices fade away from him, and all he can hear is static in his ears. His wolf seethes below his skin, as if it’s about to claw right out of him from his rage. Rhys feels his chest tighten even more until he can’t take in anymore air. He can’t breathe.
Sage is hurt, and he’s alone with Steele. The things that Steele could be doing to him right now. . .
I don’t even know if Sage was alive.
Rhys can’t breathe.
“Rhys,” someone says close to his ear, but Rhys doesn’t open his eyes. He gasps and he clenches his fists at his sides. He doesn’t even feel the pain from his claws digging into his palms again.
He makes a noise in his throat, and a cold sweat breaks out over his forehead. He feels cold all over. His heart isn’t beating anymore. Blood isn’t moving through his veins. Nothing is working right.
He can’t breathe.
Where are you
“He’s having a panic attack,” another voice says, and hands settle onto his shoulders. Rhys jerks away from whoever is touching him, and he growls threateningly. He doesn’t want anyone but Sage to touch him.
Where are you
The hands don’t let up on his shoulders as they tug at him, and Rhys doesn’t want to move but he feels his feet moving anyway. Everything feels so dark around him. He can’t. . .he can’t see anything. There are too many scents surrounding his senses. He can’t—he can’t ground himself. His wolf is prowling beneath the surface of his skin, desperate to be released. His chest feels tight. He can’t breathe. He can feel his wolf snarling.
He—his tether—where the hell is Sage—he can’t—nothing is—
Where are you where are you where are you where are you where are you
He—is being shoved into a chair.
Hands push at his back, and suddenly, his chest hits his legs as his head hangs between his knees. The gentle fingers at his back rub in between his shoulder blades.
“Breathe, Rhys,” the voice says, and the hands on him squeeze and shake at his shoulders. “Breathe.”
He takes a deep breath in, and he coughs as the air tries valiantly to fill his lungs.
Where am I what’s going on where is Sage where are you where are you where are you where are you
He wants to let his wolf out. He wants to let go, to give into the shift beginning to shape beneath his skin. He wants—shit—he wants to tear his claws into his skin, into his heart. He wants to tear into his veins and spill his blood all over this goddamn floor so that he can set his wolf free. Darkness swelters inside of his heart, and he growls deeply, snarling.
No. He can’t let his wolf control him like this. He isn’t the monster that constantly lurks inside of him. He is good, and he is light, and he is the flicker that shines from the brightest embers of a dying fi
re. He will not let this darkness consume him. He is Rhys Becker, and no one, and no thing, is going to command him.
“You’re okay, Rhys,” the voice continues as Rhys tries to inhale again. His wolf howls inside of him as the hands on his back continue to move in comforting circles, and Rhys pushes his wolf away, shoving it back down deep into the dregs of his soul. “You’re safe, man. You’ve got this. Breathe, Rhys.”
Rhys inhales deeply, overwhelmed as air begins to swirl into his lungs. He takes another breath, then brings his hands up to his face to move his hair out of his face. He inhales slowly. Again. And again.
“There you go,” the voice says, and the sounds of the precinct slowly come back to him. He concentrates on the sounds, wading through them so he can focus on the steady beat of a heart near his ears.
It’s not Sage’s heartbeat. He would know Sage’s heartbeat anywhere. This isn’t Sage’s heartbeat, but it’s steady in his ears. His senses narrow in on it, and slowly, his breathing begins to even out.
“Relax, Rhys,” he hears, and he’s finally able to recognize Kai’s calming voice as he takes another deep breath. Kai’s hands are at his back, and he gently shifts them to Rhys’s shoulders so he can crouch down in front of Rhys to meet Rhys's eyes.
“You’ve got to calm down, Rhys,” Kai tells him, and his voice reverberates through Rhys’s ears dauntingly. “You were having a panic attack, and you started to wolf out. I know it’s hard, but you need to get yourself under control, buddy. You can do it. You’ve got this. If everyone out there sees you wolfing out, they’re going to be focused on you instead of finding Sage. Take another deep breath, man.”
Rhys does, and it’s easy this time. He doesn’t feel like his throat is on fire. He doesn’t smell Sage’s blood or Hazel’s salty tears. All he smells is Kai’s scent. The scent of pack.
His wolf hums inside of his chest, and Rhys exhales slowly.
“Sorry,” he says after a moment. Shame curls in his abdomen. He never lets anyone else see him fall apart like this.